Chrono Crossover: Adjective Noun Chapter 6
Princess Nadia of Guardia detested her real name, if for no other reason, because it ended with -ia. It wasn't common knowledge that Queen Leene's official regnal name after her husband's death (but before her son was of age legal age to rule) was Alicia. Alicia of Guardia. The royal court insisted that the tradition of female names ending with -ia be maintained; the kingdom was, after all, name for its first queen. Queen Guardia I. That her daughter's name was Phyllis and all the KINGS took her name was irrelevant. This tradition, going back 850 years, must be maintained. A bit of originality, however, would have been a nice change of pace.
Still, not every queen had a name ending in -ia. The princess' grandfather, King Guardia XXXII, married Queen George after the death of his first wife. Nominally, the non-royal spouse of the king would not be granted the title of queen. In the case of George, however, everybody agreed that the title of queen suited him very well.
Princess Nadia, or Marle as she preferred, was glad to know she still had names that ended with -ia that didn't sound too silly. She'd be long dead before the kingdom saw the reign of Queen Labia or the birth of Princess Amnesia. If Marle had a daughter, God willing with Crono, she giggled, she was set on Antonia. Her thoughts wandered to having a child with Crono. Raising it would be her job, of course. Even to an adult, his pantomime could be a bit bewildering at times. Could you imagine trying to give his child the birds-and-the-bees talk through gestures alone? Marle giggled again.
Just then, Lucca burst in followed by a battered and tarnished Robo. Marle blinked at his appearance. "Just what have you two been doing this time??" Lucca blushed while Robo explained.
"This afternoon at 1423, I experienced a temporal shockwave which altered my appearance and lowered my core efficiency by 67%. My current configuration is identical to my configuration prior to our removal of Lavos from the timeline. My conclusion is that Lavos has returned into existence by means yet unknown and has succeeded in destroying the surface of the planet. Do you understand?"
"This afternoon at 1423, I experienced a temporal shockwave which altered my appearance and lowered my core efficiency by 67%. My current configuration is identical to my configuration prior to our removal of Lavos from the timeline. My conclusion is that Lavos has returned into existence by means yet unknown and has succeeded in destroying the surface of the planet." Marle's pearl necklace seemed to turn brown before Lucca's eyes, she paled so quickly.
"H have you told Crono yet?" Lucca shook her head.
"No, I thought it best to tell you first." Marle cocked her head.
"Why?" Lucca began flailing her arms about. Crono had always insisted on being the one to explain matters. At least, that's what they think he said.
Marle composed herself quickly; one benefit of being trained as royalty. "Then I think we should tell him immediately."
That was, of course, a no-brainer. Wariness to use time travel aside, Crono would certainly be interested in destroying Lavos again. While not a violent person by nature, there's something about being killed by a being that gives you a certain disregard for said being's right to exist. That said being's purpose is to destroy all life merely gives you a legitimate excuse to violate that right.
Crono was attempting to explain to his mother why she found an article of Marle's clothing in his laundry. Nothing inappropriate had happened, mind; Marle's upbringing would never allow her to actually engage in anything beyond a light make-out session. Still, trying to explain why your girlfriend's panties were in your hamper to your mother is difficult when you cannot speak. Especially if you cannot speak.
Marle decided to wait outside while Lucca fetched Crono. She found him frantically waving his arms in the well-recognized "I didn't do anything wrong!" gesture. This disintegrated into incomprehensible gestures that only became worse when both Lucca and Crono's mother would interrupt with such remarks as "two words?" "sounds like!" or "movie title!" Crono's friends and family had learned to become champions at Charades.
Crono never remained in trouble for very long; his mother would always tire of his attempts at explaining himself and would just assume that her son was always doing what he thought was right. Had Crono been an axe-murderer, this approach might not have been the best. At any rate, both he and his mother noticed Lucca standing there, cheerfully attempting to decipher Crono's wild game of Guesstures, which translated as "I swear, they're not mine! I wear boxers!"
"I need to borrow Crono for a bit," Lucca said. Crono's mother nodded and shooed him off with her hands.
"Take him, take him. How you can stand him for more than twenty minutes, I'll never understand." Lucca shoved Crono, who was still waving his arms about in innocence, out the door.
"Shut up and listen." The waving stopped. "We think Lavos is back in the timeline. We don't know how, but the evidence is strong. What I'd like to do is take the Epoch and " Lucca was interrupted by Crono frantically rubbing his nose and punching his crotch.
"Yes, yes. I know about the dangers of time travel. Now stop that before you break something." Crono stopped his illegal blows and whimpered for a moment. "Serves you right. Anyway, I'm going to be going forward in time, so I'm not going to obliterate reality."
Crono protested by reaching forward to strangle Lucca.
"Haven't you been listening? We think Lavos has been reintroduced to history somehow! He's back!" Crono stopped and visibly paled. "I want to go to the End of Time to ask Gaspar if he knows anything. He always seems to."
Crono nodded and handed over the keys.
"Thanks, Crono. I'll let Marle explain the details. Be back as soon as I can!" Lucca ran off, leaving an expectant Crono and a bewildered Marle.
"But I don't have any details "
Not knowing exactly where to look, she started with the obvious; the End of Time. While also both before existence and after existence, it's also a crossroad at the middle of existence. It also has a tollbooth for the road to perdition and is the location of the stairway to heaven.
Also, it was home to Gaspar, the man you turn to when you don't know where to go. Lucca was certain that his vantage point inside, outside, and just above the timestream let him see anything he wished. She was also certain, given the way he looked at her, that he watched her in the shower.
At any rate, he knew she was coming. "I take it you've learned of Lavos' return," he stated. "I expected you'd come. I've collected some data for your perusal; it should shed some light on the situation." Lucca stopped.
"What? No subtle clue? No enigmatic statement?" Gaspar shrugged.
"After eleven pages, I think straight plot development might be welcome." Fourth dimensional drywall crumbled. "Oh my. Now I've done it." Lucca sighed.
"Nevermind. Do you have a chair I can sit in while I read?" Gaspar ushered her over to a chair at a desk where some scientific papers had been placed.
"I suggest you start reading, my dear. They're rather long and your comrades always did have a disposition for haste." Lucca started with the first paper, dated 1478. It was titled "Observations in Time: Humanity a Species Gone Wrong." It appeared to be an undergraduate thesis by a student named Skippy von Blucher. It explained how an advanced dinosaur species, in tune with the needs of the planet, was on the verge of wiping out proto-humans and establishing a permanent civilization when Lavos arrived, plunging the world into an ice age and directly stimulating the further evolution of humanity. Its conclusion stated that maybe Lavos destroying humanity wasn't such a bad thing after all.
The second paper, apparently a graduate work, was titled "Pulling Objects from the Great Beyond: Nothing To Do With the Previous Paper." It was written by the same student. This paper went on to explain how timelines that were no longer valid, such as the post-apocalyptic world, were shunted off into the Tesseract; the void beyond time. Countless beings were there as well, including Lavos. The paper concluded that, with the proper devices and instruments, one could find specifically what one was looking for within the Tesseract and place it anywhere within the space-time continuum.
The final paper, a doctorial dissertation entitled "Faster-Than-Light Space Travel Engines: Dimensional Distortions That Can Also Reach Into the Tesseract But Trust Me That Is Not the Intention Here I Swear," was also written by Skippy von Blucher. The first paragraph spoke of how a device he was working on had the ability to propel a spacecraft beyond the Einsteinian threshold and make Relativity as obsolete as the geocentric theory.
The remainder of the paper, however, stated that the device, due to be completed on April 17, 1488, would reach into the Tesseract, retrieve Lavos, and place him fifteen miles from Guardia Dome precisely fifteen seconds after Crono and his friends originally destroyed him. Lavos would resume his attack, raining destruction upon the surface of the planet. Furthermore, his destructive output would be increased a thousand fold, burning all life from the surface of the planet and destroying Lavos at the same time. This would give the world a fresh slate to try again.
Lucca grinned. It was almost too easy this time. No sub-plots to worry about, no illogical jerky runs to Zenan Bridge, no giant frogs to freak her the hell out.
Just one brave attack upon a small scientific research laboratory in the garage of a man who was still paying off his student loans.
It was almost too easy.
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