"What is this for?" Crono asked picking it up.
"It's a key to the sewers in 2300," Lucca said, taking the key away from Crono.
"Why would anyone want to lock a sewer?" Chuck mumbled to himself. Lucca put the key into her pocket.
"Let's go," Lucca said, then kicked the wall. A large stone panel swung upward, off the wall. Behind it was a small room, with a pulsating green tunnel, that seemed to stretch for ever.
"No way I'm jumping down that thing," Crono said, backing up.
"Oh come on," Chuck smiled, "It's like a big water slide." Chuck took a few steps back, before getting a running start, and sliding face-first down the tunnel.
"I like the way he thinks," Lucca laughed, then jumped down.
"After you," Crono said smiling at Marle.
"Don't think so." Marle picked Crono up by the waist and threw him down, then jumped down after him.
The tunnel didn't quite stretch for ever, but through some strange twist of physics, it made it back down to Earth. Chuck, Lucca, Crono, and Marle (in that order) flew out of the tunnel, each with a distinct spitting sound.
"That was definitely interesting," Chuck said, brushing some dirt off of his pants.
Crono spit a clump of grass out of his mouth, "I'm never doing that again." By the time Marle could lift herself off the ground and fix her hair, Lucca had already opened a gate that was nearby the team. Chuck was first through the gate with a loud "WOOHOO!" followed by Lucca, who threw the key to Crono and Marle to follow.
"...France in 2600 a.d.," Crono and Marle heard Lucca say as they came through the gate.
"FRANCE?!" Chuck shouted, "No, I'm not putting up with Jerry Lewis, where's the gate key?" Chuck couldn't find the key so he kicked at the closed gate. "No," he whimpered, "What did I do to deserve this?"
"It's not so bad now, the national language is English, and stand-up comedians have been outlawed," Lucca explained.
"I'd like to see the Eiffel Tower," Marle said.
"Too bad, they turned it into a big nuclear war-head and launched it at New Zealand about five years ago."
"What happened?" Marle asked, looking worried.
"They missed and hit northern Siberia," Lucca said, trying to contain a laugh.
"Did anyone care?" Chuck asked looking around.
"I doubt it," Crono laughed.
"So what's with them speaking English and not having comedians?" Marle asked.
"Well," Lucca began to explain, "England captured France in World War III just after the Eiffel Tower was launched at New Zealand. America, Australia, England, and Russia, were basically against the rest of the world. When the tower was launched at New Zealand and hit Russia, they took it as a major offense. So they beat the crap out of France, and captured it. But, no one really wanted France, except for England. So France went to England. But, the English didn't want to have to have an interpreter all the time for making new laws, so they decided to make everyone speak English."
"That explains the language, now what about the comedians?" Marle asked.
"Oh, the cops just didn't want to listen to people talk about Jerry Lewis."
"That's weird," Chuck mumbled, "So, what are we doing here?"
"I heard Magus is here, we need his help."
"Oh, that's gonna happen," Chuck said sarcastically, "Wasn't Magus the one that turned 'Glenn' into Frog, AND killed his best friend?"
"What's your point?" Marle asked. Everyone sighed.
"Anyway," Lucca said, attempting to ignore Marle's confused looks, "We're going to the Arc de Triumph, the English turned it into a large teleporter, and they call it 'The Outcast of the Toilets.'"
"That's nice." So they walked, and walked.... and walked. Various members of the team asked why they couldn't take a taxi, but Lucca ignored them all. After a while they made their way to the Outcast of the Toilets. In the middle of the giant arch, was a dull silver film. As they walked up to the arch, a heavily armed guard stopped them.
"Passports?" the guard said sternly.
"Um," Crono spoke up, "We don't have..." He was cut off by Lucca. She waved her right hand around in the air and cackled evilly. She then pointed at the guard and yelled, "HYPNO WAVE!" Large green rings of light appeared around the guard and closed in on him with a high-pitched whistling sound. When the rings disappeared, the guard yawned. His eye-lids fluttered, and his eyes rolled back into his head, and he passed out.
"Wow, that's a handy trick," Chuck said staring at the downed guard. They then walked through the dull silver screen. Once they were through, it was like nothing happened. Although they probably traveled hundreds of miles, it was like they were on the other side before they stepped through.
"HEY!" a voice shouted at them as they came through the exit of the teleporter.
"AAHH!" Crono screamed, "I'm sorry! It was her idea!"
"Take it easy," the voice said as its owner approached them, "It's only me." And it was him.
"Magus," Lucca said, smiling, "I thought we'd find you here."
"So, what are you doing in France?" Chuck asked.
"I needed a vacation," Magus chuckled.
"Well, it ends here," Lucca said, "Frog died un-naturally, and we need you to help us get him back."
"Sounds like fun, where do you need to go?"
"2300 a.d." Magus muttered some strange words in an almost inaudible tone. He pointed at each of the group members, yelling a strange word at the top of his lungs. As Magus yelled at each of them, they disappeared in an ear-splitting crack. He then did it to himself.
The team awoke to find themselves sitting on a cold, gray stone floor, with a river of bubbling brown sludge. Almost immediately the reek of heated sulfur invaded their noses.
"Oh man, who cut one?" Chuck said as he sat up.
"Sorry," Marle mumbled.
Lucca looked around, "Hey, we're already in the sewer. Thanks Magus." She pulled the silver key out of her pocket and threw it into the river.
"So the entire thing with the big dog was totally pointless?" Crono asked.
She thought for a second, "Yeah, I guess it was." Chuck had an idea. He turned to face the river of crap. He pointed at the river an mumbled "Fire." A thin trail of fire circled around him and stopped at his waist. Then, a large fire ball shot from his finger tips toward the river. The river burst into flame just as the ball hit it.
"What was that?!" Lucca shouted, spinning around to face the burning river.
"Oops," Chuck laughed.
"Ice 2!" Magus yelled waving his arms around. The fire stopped and turned blue. Two huge chunks of ice fell from nowhere into the flames. The fire disappeared with a loud hissing and a lot of steam.
"This sucks," Crono complained.
"Look at it this way," Lucca started, "It's like a big..."
"...stinking sauna," Chuck finished.
"Anyway," Crono said through the mist, "Does anyone remember the way out?"
"I do!" Magus said, then cast the same teleport spell as earlier. They awoke underneath an open man-hole.
"This is getting annoying," Crono mumbled. The team climbed up into the fresh air.
"This is different than the last time I was here," Marle commented. Everyone else rolled their eyes.
"There's the Keeper's Dome," Lucca said, pointing to a large building in the distance. There was a winding dirt road leading to the dome. They decided that if they were to follow the road, it would take too long to get there. So they walked through the open fields to the dome. The door to the dome was open, giving a chance for the warm, pre-fabricated air to float out. The lights in the dome immediately snapped on as they stepped through the door.
"Oh man, it smells like ammonia and turpentine in here," Chuck said, gagging. They continued to the back of the dome, to the room where the Epoch was kept. The entered the grand room to behold the great silver flying machine sitting on stilts in the middle of the room. A wide-eyed Nu was busy moving around large barrels.
"Hi everybody!" the Nu said smiling.
"Belthasar, what are you doing awake?" Lucca questioned as the Nu approached them.
"Well, I felt needed, so I started getting stuff ready for you," Belthasar explained, "I loaded up a lot of extra fuel, just in case you need any later."
"Thanks Belthasar," Lucca said as they all piled into the Epoch.
"Let's fire this sucker up," Chuck laughed. Lucca pushed the ignition switch.
"Oh, guys, I forgot to tell you..." Belthasar started. The Epoch disappeared in a huge ball of fire and a tremendous bang (It exploded), "Oops."