Musings From a God

By Alex Weitzman

Alex Weitzman Studios Presents....

Musings From a God

Characters, things, events, and places in this story are based on Squaresoft's Final Fantasy VII and Chrono Trigger. Sue me.


I have come upon a major discovery.

There is some sort of spiritual connection between heroism and hairspray.

What, that sounds funny? I'm not trying to be funny. I'm trying to be realistic. Just calling it as I've seen it. And I've seen plenty of would-be heroes in my time of carnage and destruction, but only two have been able to stop me, and both can be identified by the hairstyle of spikes. One is a particular little runt named Cloud - he's the one who put me in my current situation. The other is some orange-haired......spiky, of course.........kid who I'm dealing with right now.

Oh, I'm sorry. Did you happen upon this narration without knowing the facts? Sounds like I'm going to have to explain this to you. You seem to have caught me at a specific moment in time. Imagine it as time stopping and allowing me to talk to you. When time starts up again, I'll be dead. Again. You see, our frozen moment in time has the orange-haired kid's sword in me.

Does it hurt? I couldn't care less about pain. I'm beyond that.

So, now for that explanation. And if I hear you whine about my sarcasm, I'll come over there and tear you a new mouth in your gut. I deserve every bit of bitterness I own.

For starters, whatever planet I'm on now is not my origin. I'm from a planet that's probably pretty far off. In my time - my original time - I was the best. Not just a member of SOLDIER, but *the* member of SOLDIER. With a sword whose length was a symbol for my power over others, I was the greatest legend of killing skill existing.

Then came Jenova. You've probably figured out by this point that I'm not the raving lunatic I once was. That was when I was Jenova's little lackey.

There was something about our first contact that strikes me as somewhat romantic. I'd lived my life under the Shinra logo, unsure of what parentage I had. Of course, I probably would have been even more screwed up if I knew from the start that Hojo was my father. That's a piece of backstory I'd like to incinerate personally.

But Jenova.....this alien was smart. She knew I was powerful, and she knew I had some of her inside myself already. The first time we saw each other - her in that glass tube, me standing before it - I was struck mentally by Jenova. It felt like the most nurturing thing I'd ever experienced. The words "son" and "proud" and "mother" floated through my head at rapid speed. I suppose that's what made me so insane, though she had been calling me previously. Looking back upon it, I realize now that the nurturing feeling felt a little desperate. Jenova was lucky that I was such a love-starved child anyway.

And thus did I die my first death. I died when I became that remarkable looney who believed that he could be a god.

Boy, I hope you're getting this down on something. If I hadn't been stuck in this shell with Jenova and Hojo all this time, maybe I could've written some memoirs. I imagine that I'd laugh to see people react to lurid descriptions to certain annihilations I've caused. But then, people have always been such prudes when it comes to death. If a man fears blood, does he try to remove it from himself?

Blood. Just that word on its own makes me think of Cloud. All of my most prominent memories of Cloud involve blood in some way.

Seeing his face shrivel and stretch all at once as I ended the life of that Ancient.

Feeling my own blood pour down from my head as he finally killed me - the first and last time I ever bled in battle.

And, of course, seeing his blood shed by my sword, and watching him live through it anyway. The only man to ever survive my direct fury.

Yes, Cloud was a hero. His friends may have thought him somewhat stoic, but only the adversary knows for sure. In fact, I can assure you that Cloud's greatest weakness is his excess emotion. I have fought Cloud twice, though Hojo has insisted that I returned to life four times before we were ejected from the Planet. Each time, emotion was what allowed me to get in any hit on him.

So what do I think of Cloud now? I barely do. He's out of my life now, since he, and that Bugenhagen, were able to sentence all three of us to eternal space wandering.

But, where and whenever he might be, I'm sure the runt is happy. He's got his girl. And I guess I don't begrudge him that. She probably makes him a real man.

Not like Hojo here. I can see him now, since he just got regenerated back. This final battle that I've paused for this discussion is odd for me, since I haven't even done anything. Jenova has altered my appearance beyond words, and if it wasn't for the fact that I can no longer feel any pain, I'd be screaming at the top of my lungs for all eternity. The irony is that I have more stamina that even Jenova, since the alien and Hojo have both been busy on this planet, trying to set up their megalomaniacal plot. I've conserved my strength and done no evil, but I'm doomed to die by mere association.

Stupid Hojo. I don't suppose you have any idea of what a perverted psychotic he truly is. Upon my rebirth, which was over 1500 years after my physical death, I got shoved in this rocket with Jenova and some beautiful, but kinda slutty-looking woman. I lost my lunch finding out that the girl was Hojo.

I'm unsure of the math, but I'm pretty sure I spent millions of years traveling through space before reaching our current planet. It didn't take long for Jenova to destroy both my shackles and Hojo's. He.......I mean, she..........I mean........damn Hojo. Confuses the hell out of me. We survived all those years by Jenova's will, who altered us so much that we were as timeless as the alien itself. Things occurred within that rocket that would make the worst Midgar pornographer shudder. It got quite graphic in there, particularly since I think Hojo was definitely attracted to me. I guess he developed a sexual taste based on his gender. With a man, a......woman, I suppose, and an alien in one rocket for all those years, you can guess that it didn't take long before I found myself doing exactly what you're trying not to picture.

Are we all done averting our eyes in disgust? Yeah, thanks a lot. Since, you know, I had to live through it.

Hojo......I wonder if, by the sex, he was trying to prove something to me. Anything. Since I'd always bad-mouthed him as a lousy scientist. Oh, hell. Even now, he's a crappy scientist. Professor Gast was more than a superior scientist. He was a superior person. Hojo basically had to rape a colleague to have a son. Gast, on the other hand, courted his wife and created a real family. Wasn't he that Ancient's father? That makes Hojo's failure even funnier. Even Gast's legacy was greater than Hojo was.

I wonder how it felt for that Ancient..........Aeris, I think the name was..........when I killed her. My deaths have never been as clean as I made hers. A clean death would be nice, though I'll never have one.

The one I'm experiencing now isn't very clean. I've taken a lot of slices by this orange-haired kid. You know, with the spikes. I don't know what his damn name is. I never even hear the little guy talk.

One name I do know is what I seem to have been made a part of. Lavos....I think. Jenova's been trying to do the same thing on this planet that she'd been trying to do before - spawn, suck dry, destroy, move on. But Lavos is what we were called. Maybe they think we're one being, as opposed to this truly nuclear family.

It's been very weird on this planet, as I've lived here now for a long time as well. The years are in the millions again. One intriguing thing I watched occur was this "advanced" society.......Zeal........marvel and gasp at our rocket engine. Okay, maybe they didn't realize it was a rocket engine. That engine is from some futuristic society on our Planet - an engine that never stops. Sort of a perpetual motion machine, as it gets stronger the longer it goes. I'll be damned if I understand it.

I'm looking at this orange-haired kid now, and I recall hearing only minimal things about him. I do remember that he's completely without past connections to anything major. He just seemed to be swept up in the flow of events that led to this final battle. The fact that he's persevered so long - I heard that Orange Boy here even died and was resurrected - makes him even more heroic than Cloud was.

And, big surprise. He's even spikier than Cloud was, too. I'm telling you, it's all in the hairspray.

I don't know what will happen, now that I'm going to die again. I'm unsure of what this planet's Lifestream rules are. Jenova and Hojo seemed pretty confident, though. They've been keeping me out of the loop, since I'd made it clear I didn't want to do anything anymore. I did hear some random words that I was unfamiliar to, like "El Nido" and "Chronopolis". Not to mention, I've felt like there's something else in here. I'm not quite sure what, but I've felt it ever since we surfaced while Zeal was around, and we sucked stuff in and out and sent people flying to various places in time. I wonder if there's someone in here that we took in.

Oh, well. I really couldn't care less anymore. My time is through. For now, I'm just observing this study of evil in Hojo and Jenova. I'm not evil. I'm bitter. And you'll notice that when I've been in control, I haven't done anything vile. So, for now, I'm just a captive audience.

But....for now? Maybe those aren't the right words. I'm about to die. In fact, why did time stop and allow me to say all these things to you? Time doesn't stop that easily. Maybe it's one of those moments in life where all time is at a standstill. A dying man's last thoughts. Those can go on forever.

Then.....who are you that can hear them? Maybe I'm not the one who should be answering questions, pal. Who are you? What kind of forces are there on this planet that can read into the mind?

If it's something that these two beside me have done, then take them. I had no part in their evil plans.

But, on this new planet - and it still feels new to me - I'm a little scared. What kind of a place is this...........


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