Signs You Play Chrono Trigger Too Often
By Brian Caughell
1. You burp when defeated.
2. When your boss/parents tell you to do something, you begin humming the Lavos theme.
3. You begin speaking like Ayla.
4. You begin speaking like Frog.
5. You have names for all the cats in Crono's house.
6. You can play the 1000 A.D. piano notes with telephone tones.
7. You think Marle wouldn't look bad in a centerfold.
8. Same with Lucca.
9. Or Ayla.
10. When surprised, your jaw drops to your ankles.
11. You know what Nus are.
12. You argue with your philosophy professor about the existence of Nus. (Simple argument: "All life begins with Nu and ends with Nu.")
13. You rap along with Gato.
14. You try to open bookings on the Millenial Fair foot race.
15. You know the locations of all the tabs by heart.
16. You figure out Magus' spell-casting hand movements, and repeat them daily.
17. You say phrases like, "Shall we employ the guillotine?"
18. You chronicle all the different species of the Imp.
19. You file an appeal for Crono's trial.
20. Two-legged, walking humanoids don't seem so impossible to create, after all.
21. You form a band to play nothing but CT themes.
22. You know all of the Jurrassic Rhythm dances.
23. You create a Doreen worship web page.
24. You want to sell your SNES to help fund buying a Playstation, but decide against it, since CT2 hasn't been made yet.
25. You recite the dialogues just as they pop up on screen.
26. You decide to rename all your characters to their Japanese names.
27. You vow to name your firstborn Crono.
28. You quote Magus in everyday conversation in order to sound tough.
29. You speak out loud what you think Crono says.
30. You buy a CD burner so you can make a CD of all those CT MIDIS you've downloaded.
31. You've marked The Day of Lavos on your calendar.
32. You own an outfit which matches Crono's or Lucca's.
33. You name your gerbil Magus.
34. You sleep with your CT cart under your pillow.
35. Ayla's model-like looks and processed hair seem perfectly logical, despite the fact she's from 65,000,000 B.C.
36. You take the ferry in your spare time, just to take in the sights.
37. You make a whip-crack noise whenever you tip your hat.
Signs 38 through 48 courtesy of Ryoko720!
38. You vow to never eat eggs again, because "one just might be a Time Egg".
39. You make a fur outfit like Ayla's to wear to school/work since you think the cavepeople may be onto the latest fasion trend.
40. You begin to think Frog is cute.
41. Your girlfriend breaks up with you because you idolize Marle/Lucca/Ayla.
42. Your boyfriend breaks up with you because you idolize Crono/Magus.
43. You make up words to all of the background music.
44. You vow to one day discuss the theories of time flow with Gaspar.
45. You stick your tounge out at the Imps when they do the same.
46. You make a shrine to any one of the characters in your room.
47. Or even worse, a separate shrine to each character.
48. You write down the entire script the game, just so you can "relive the magic" anytime you want to.
49. "Whatever it is I think I see, becomes a magic tab to me!"
50. You order a pizza and say, "Oh, just charge it to my silver points."
51. You own a Gato-shaped Jell-O mold.
52. You awake in the middle of the night with a strange ticking noise in your head.
53. On your organ donor card you write, "Give my legs to Lara."
54. You actually possess a Naga-ette Bromide.
55. You eat nothing but beef jerky and jurassic pork soup.
56. You decide just for fun to play through the entire game with the main characters' names around. (I.E.- Crono named Marle, Marle named Magus, Lucca named Lavos, etc.)
57. You run to the top of a hill and wave your arms, hoping some dactyls will decend.
58. Your heart skips a beat when you see the robot in Saga Frontier.
59. You've earned 100 or more gold pieces by acting like a chicken.
60. When a friend shows you a new game, you begin critiquing it against Chrono Trigger- no matter what game it is.
61. You fill out a petition to put Frog in Bushido Blade 2.
62. You learn programming code in order to make your own Chrono Trigger "expansion packs" for SNES emulators. *-note: I'm actually hoping someone out there will do this one. = )
Signs 63-98 courtesy of Minmei!
63. Whenever someone asks you a simple question, you put a hand to your chin in deep thought.
64. You idolize Flea so much that you go around to people claiming to be of the opposite gender.
65. You address every simpleton you see "Idiot!"
66. Your only friends are Schala and Alfador.
67. At Halloween, you dress up like a Hench, terrorizing the little kids yelling to them, "Death to the Mystics' enemies!!"
68. You do this when it ISN'T Halloween.
69. You cuss out your hairstylist for refusing to give you the punk hairdo look.
70. Your hairstylist actually GIVES you the punk hairdo look.
71. When you are threatened by someone, you turn to them and yell, "Slash Attack!!"
72. You succeed in executing the Slash Attack.
73. When someone says they're going to the Magic Kingdom, you inform them Zeal has already been destroyed.
74. You take a vow of silence in Crono's honor.
75. You jump up and down excitedly when happy.
76. For your science project, you create an exact replica of the Mammon Machine.
77. Your teacher gives you an "A+" for the project.
78. You sign your name like this: <your name> the Great.
79. You cook dinner using "Flare."
80. For your history paper, you include the fact that there were refrigerators and ovens in 1000 AD.
81. You get an "A."
82. You think Shakespeare ripped off Frog's Olde English.
83. Whenever you see a frog hopping away, you call after it, "Hey Glenn!!"
84. It turns around and answers you.
85. It answers you speaking Olde English.
86. You steer clear of nuns, thinking they are Naga-ettes in disguise.
87. Whenever you see an organ, you rush to play it, thinking there's a secret passageway.
88. You find one.
89. You frantically run from jewelry store to jewelry store trying to find a replica of Marle's pendant.
90. You find one.
91. You try searching for a door with a crest.
92. You find it.
93. You open the door with the pendant.
94. You find Queen Zeal, the Prophet, Schala, and Dalton inside.
95. You try building a time traveling vehicle.
96. You succeed, and name it Epoch II.
97. When backed into a corner, you hide behind a barrier of ice.
98. You've memorized this entire list.
Signs 99-109 courtesy of Great Ozzie!
99. You jam out to Crono's Theme.
100. You make a recording of Magus's Theme and play it on Halloween.
101. If your a guy, you demand that your Barber styles your hare like Crono's/Magus's.
102. If your a girl, you demand that your Barber styles your hare like Marle's/Lucca's/Ayla's/Schala's.
103. You promise that one day you will help Magus find Schala.
104. You run into SquareSoft with an AR-33 in each hand and demand to see the Manager about making a Chrono Trigger 2.
105. Your heart skips a beat when you see a Katana/Scythe/Crossbow/Broadsword.
106. You feel like you've been rentergised when you eat some Jerky.
107. You finally figure out what that weird chant that you hear when you walk up to Madina Square means.
108. You take a Submarine to the bottom of the Ocean to see if you can find any remains of Zeal.
109. You forget about dinosaur bones and start looking for Reptite bones.
Brian Caughell's Fanfiction