In the Mind of a Maniac
She distorted my thoughts and emotions in such a way that the lives of others meant nothing to me. I saw through her, and through her eyes the dividing line between right and wrong became non-existent . She corrupted my conscience insofar that I felt I could do anything without regrets or consequences...but at the same time, she raped and murdered my sense of justice until I had nothing to believe in except myself, and even then, I was questioning whether or not I should do so.
She is Jenova.
...my puppet master.
I remember how I felt when I was reading Gast's notes in the basement. God, I hated those feelings. Scared and helpless. Alone and afraid...
It was no wonder I bought into her lies so easily. I was alone in a world full of war and deceit. I needed someone, anyone, to turn to. But I didn't find what I was looking for. What I was looking for was someone who I can rely upon, to trust, a quality indefinite in humans. But who'd be better than my mother, the last remaining Cetra?
" My son, together, we must find the promised land. To reclaim it for our ancestors, who died for the life of the planet! Together we shall rule as the supreme beings of this planet. You are the chosen one, Sephiroth."
" Of course, mother."
What I didn't know was that the Cetra weren't my ancestors at all. Or Jenova's, for that matter.
I didn't realize that she wasn't my mother.
But most importantly, I didn't realize that I just sold my soul to the devil.
Damned to live the ultimate lie as her favorite puppet.
Damned to die as a broken doll.
I remember feeling the intense heat of the flames when I torched Nibelheim , and feeling no sympathy for any of the souls as I saw them burn.
I was brought to this to save the citizens, not slaughter them.
And Nibelheim would just and the beginning of my path of destruction. Next would come President Shinra.
Why would I kill president Shinra? He had given me the opportunity to be the SOLDIER I always dreamed of, even if he was a money grubbing imbecile.
My dream? I wanted to be a SOLDIER? No...that's not right.
Hojo wanted me to be in SOLDIER.
Damn him. If it was not for him, I wouldn't be dead.
Heh... kinda makes you want to laugh...
What about that Cetra girl?
I remember Cloud called her...Aeris.
Why did I kill her? She was a fellow Cetra, after all.
"Sephiroth, my son, she's in our way. She's trying to stop us from fulfilling our true purpose."
I bought into it, of course.
She gave her life to save the planet. I on the other hand, gave my life for what? To become a god? In reality, I gave my for a lost cause. A task that at the time seemed too easy. No mortal could stand in my way. But there was one who did.
My failed clone, a victim of Jenova's games of manipulation.
Cloud Strife. He would banish me once and for all.
I have regained my sanity. But during my time on earth, what was my true purpose?
Was I taking my rage and pain out on the planet...?
Or was I just doing Jenova's bidding?
Former war hero turned maniac. That is how I will go down in history.
This was not how it was meant to be.