By Camrock

     The time is 11:45 AM, and Flea, Ozzie, Magus, Slash, and their prisoner, Queen Leene are sitting down to a lunch of roast beef sandwiches and mashed potatoes. While they are eating, an interesting conversation takes place between them.

"All right, roast beef day! "Ozzie yells. Although there were many other Mystics in the room, the five sat at a private dining area.

"Hey, Flea, I'll play you a game of chess". Slash challenged.

"Chess, what a boring game." Leene remarked.

"Okay, I'll go get the board." Flea responded, paying no attention to Leene. He walked off to get a board and the pieces.

"Magus, guess what. I was leading an attack on Guardia, when the king just happened to be leading the defense. I simply couldn't resist it! I injured him really bad. He tried to fight me, the fool." Slash said.

"At this rate, all of Guardia will succumb to us." Magus explained.

"This rules." Ozzie observed.

"Yeah, but what are we going to do with Queen Leene?" Slash asked.

"I thought we were going to kill her after we take over." Ozzie pondered.

"Ozzie, we don't kill women, remember. It's against our standards of war." Slash told him.

"What do we do with them, anyway?" Magus asked.

"Well, according to the Scrolls of Mystic War Standards in the library, if they choose to fight in battle, they are taken prisoner, like Leene." Slash answered him.

"Call me Queen Leene, you knaves," she snapped.

"If we call you Queen Leene, you must refer to me as Magus, Master Wizard and Ruler of All Mystics."

"And you must call me Slash, Expert Swordsman and Champion of the Blade."

"Of course, you must refer to me as Ozzie the Great, Strategic Genius."

"Fine, just call me Leene." she gave in. At that moment, Flea walked in with a chess set and some pieces. He and Slash set up the board and began to play.

"So, what happens after she's taken prisoner? Then what?" Magus asked.

"Usually, she is wed to a Mystic," Slash said.

"So, which one of us is she gonna get married to?" Ozzie asked.

"Maybe she could marry you, Magus." he added.

"Why in the name of Lavos would I want to marry her? She can't do magic, she can't fight, she can't even play a decent game of chess," was his reply.

"I am certainly not going to marry her, why, I'd rather be human!" Flea said.

"Don't look at me, Ozzie. You're so brave, you marry her." Slash retorted.

"No way."

"Leene, who do you want to marry?" Ozzie asked.

"I don't want to marry any of you," she said, disgusted.

"Well, you must marry one of us." Flea reasoned.

"I don't have to. You can't make me." she retorted.

"Some humans are idiots. It is written in our standards of war that you have to marry one of us. It's also written that we get do decide who marries you." Slash told her.

"I think we should draw straws." Magus suggested.

"I'll be right back." Ozzie went to get the straws.

"Flea, if I have to marry her, would you please kill me?" Slash asked.

"Oh, sure, take the easy way out." Flea told him. Ozzie came back shortly with a cup containing four straws. They all drew one, when Flea found his was the shortest, he wailed, "Noooo!"

Queen Leene started crying about what he was about to do, and Ozzie, Magus and Slash breathed sighs of relief. Suddenly, Flea woke up.

"It's okay, it was all a dream. It was just a dream." he said. All of a sudden, Leene's voice came from nowhere as she said, "It was all a dream, or was it?"


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