Patrol Abroad Chapter 1

By Captain Gaul

“Captain Gaul, you are hereby ordered to tell the truth!”

And so it began. It had been some time since a legal battle of this caliber had gone on in the Guardia courts—only two stuck out in the mind of the Truce villagers, the abduction trial of Crono and the corruption trial of the King. This time, things were more interesting—many people knew Captain Gaul, and there were just as many who liked and respected him as those who hated him. There was no such split for either Crono or the King.

There wasn’t really any contest, though. The chancellor had done his homework, and had everything wrapped up neatly. The only times when Gaul had been charged of doing something illegal were the times when absolutely no one would or could testify to his alibis. Everything that could be used against him, little though it was, was used. Former crime leaders, smugglers, and kingpins whom Gaul had risked his life to apprehend testified against him in exchange for a few decades off their prison sentence. In short, all stops had been pulled, and almost every loose end had been tied.

Except for one….

One Miss Li Robbins, a Porre citizen and Captain Gaul’s fiancee, had rushed to Guardia to help Gaul when she heard he had been arrested. Expecting her to post bail, the chancellor had previously investigated her finances, and had set bail to just 5 gold coins over what she would have been capable of paying. What he had not anticipated was her attempting to testify at the trial.

It took a week of legal maneuvering to pull it off, but he did it. The chancellor routed her request to testify through seventeen different departments of the Guardia bureaucracy, including several of their embassies on other continents; while she filled out the paperwork, he quickly introduced a bill and got it signed into law. When Li Robbins opened the envelope she expected to contain her permission to testify, she was instead informed that because she was female in gender, Porre in citizenship, and Manatetan (Asian) in descent, she was not only blocked from testimony, but fined 14500 G for attempting to testify.

The efforts, as far as the chancellor was concerned, were worth it. Nobody carrying any legal weight came in his favor for the trial, and even without the bribes, threats, and post-hypnotic suggestions, the jury really only had one choice.

“Members of the jury, if he is innocent, stand to my left. If he is guilty, stand to my right.”



“Guilty.” Someone in the peanut gallery booed.


“Out with the chancellor! He’s probably Yakra XIX or something!”




“It’s been rigged!”

“Shut up! One more word and I’ll have the peanut gallery cleared!”



“Sergeant-at-arms, remove the disturbance!…Order in the court! The verdict is…guilty! The defendant is found guilty of all charges, and is sentenced to—”

Pierre stepped forward. “Your honor, if you please—”

The chancellor stepped in front of Pierre. “Silence! Do not interrupt the judge during his sentence!”

A thrown bottle missed the chancellor by about an inch. Several guards, who had been waiting until the offender threw the bottle before taking action, grabbed the perpetrator and removed him from the room.

“Chancellor, let him speak.” Pierre resumed his plea. “Your honor, the defense was unable to call upon our only witness due to a law that was not enacted prior to these legal proceedings—you must declare a mistrial!”

“The law is the law, Pierre, and it is the eternal code by which I must judge, regardless of what part of it was written when. As I was saying, the sentence is death, to be carried out in one week—wait a second.” The judge stopped and read the note which a court messenger had just handed him.

Judge Connel,

     This six-month pleasure cruise is a blast, but it was only supposed to be three weeks! As soon as I can get one of the sailors sober enough to lift an oar, I’ll be rowing back to Guardia. I know I’ve missed out on a lot, but I know everything’s okay—I’m sure my captain of the guards hasn’t betrayed me or anything!

               King Guardia “Hang X”

     PS If for some reason you need to execute somebody, make sure to do it before the Golden Week! Remember that we’re trying to make peace with the Manatetan culture, and we want to show them how enlightened we are by not decapitating anybody during or shortly after their holiday season!

The judge glanced at his daytimer, and realized that, in order to comply with the king’s instructions, the execution would have to be very soon—Children’s Day, the first day of the Golden Week, was in five days. So….

“The sentence is revised. The execution is in four days. Guards, take him away!”

The entire audience stood up at once. Both sides acted in similar ways; both screamed obscenities and threw bottles, vegetables, rocks, etc. down into the stage; Gaul’s supporters screamed angrily and threw things at the chancellor, whereas his opponents screamed happily and threw things at Gaul. The guards had to move swiftly to bring order back to the crowd, and the chancellor soon ducked for cover as one of Gaul’s supporters started throwing thunderbolts.

“Crono, stop! You’re gonna kill him!”

“That’s the idea! That freakin’ son of a—” BAM! Lucca quickly hit Crono with a stungun while Princess Nadia helped a weeping Li Robbins from their bench.

The captain’s former lieutenants led him away from the scene in chains.


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