No Wish To Be Alone Chapter 6

Chestnut Angel

By Chocobo Goddess

He was quiet for a long time. It had not occurred to him that she might not be safe from Jenova’s influence. What’s your plan, witch? He wondered, Whatever it is, know I will be fighting on her side now. He looked down at the girl who lay within his arms, resting her head on his chest, eyes closed. They were sitting beneath the willow tree. He had picked her up and carried her there as she cried about the terrible nightmare she’d had; she had dreamed that he left her alone. She understands. She knows what it’s like to be the only person like you in the entire world. This weightless, tiny thing possesses more strength than she lets on. He smiled ruefully, remembering how badly his face had hurt after she hit him. In more ways than one. I will definitely be more aware next time.

His silent chuckle made her open her eyes. "What is it?" She asked, yawning.

"Just thinking about how nice the weather is." He grinned down at her.

"Riiiiight," she narrowed her eyes at him, "I’m sure that’s what you were thinking." After a moment of mock sternness, though, she relented and returned his grin. Moving closer, she put her arms around his neck and laid her head on his shoulder. "We have to get moving soon, don’t we?"

"Mmhmm." He adjusted his hold on her. "Let’s see how you feel in the morning. We can decide then."

"What do we do next, anyway? We can’t just travel aimlessly forever." One of her fingers twined with a lock of his hair. "Have you had time to think about that?"

He sighed. "I have some ideas. First, Jenova is my enemy now. We need to prevent her from destroying the world."

"Right, an easy task, I’m sure. What do we do to fill the time between now and then?"

Another chuckle. "Next, we need to find out why the Planet has seen fit to intervene between me and Jenova, and why it had me save you. And how it did that." He looked down at her. "Any thoughts on the matter? You are the one who can speak with the Planet."

She looked uncertain. "Umm, maybe we should finish making our plans, and then I can tell you what I know." How do I tell him that the Planet picked him to father my children? she thought. Gods, I’d almost be too embarrassed! What do I say?

Say the truth, child, said the Planet. He will understand in time.

How much time? And how am I supposed to talk about this? I’m still not even sure about WHAT has to be done, let alone discuss it with this man!

The Planet sent a small wave of peace. All will be well.

He noticed that she was speaking to the Planet, then her face cleared. The blush remained. Smirking slightly, he continued. "More immediately, we need to resupply soon. We have enough to get us to the next town, but staying here too long will use precious resources. And finally…," his voice trailed off as he thought.

She prodded him. "Finally what?"

When he turned his gaze down upon her, the cold intensity in his Mako eyes made her shiver involuntarily. "We have to face AVALANCHE." He looked away. "Between that and Jenova," he said softly, "I think Jenova’s the easier thing to deal with."

"They’re not that bad."

"Remember that they all hate me, and with good reason." Gently extricating himself from her arms, he stood and stretched. "I—I need to think about this for a while. Excuse me." He strode off to the camp to fetch Masamune, his face impassive again.

Gods and Planet both, I hate it when he looks like that.

Troubled. Does not know his path. Needs to find it anew.

What is wrong, dear Friend? I feel it within you, too. A…sadness. Why?

The wind sighed. He bears too many burdens. Must work with your friends, but cannot yet. Too much regret, too much pain.


He remembers.

I don’t understand. What does he remember?

Soft as a whisper, she heard, Murder. Death. Killing. Chaos. Terror. Horror. Pain. Torture. Wrong.

No! But that was Jenova! It wasn’t his fault that he did those things!

He sees it as so.

A new determination filled her. Then I will help him! Tell me what to do! She stood, clenching her hands into fists at her sides.

Must show him love. Give him hope. Too much to bear. Before he can agree to his new path, he must first forgive himself..

Forgive himself?

So many questions. Talk to him. Tell him whys and hows of what he wants to know. You will see. But keep him close. More distance between you; harder to keep you safe.

With the Planet’s warning echoing in her mind, she set off toward the camp after him.


Masamune made a perfect arc in the air, cutting through an invisible opponent. Eyes closed, he concentrated on the graceful forms of his katas. One of the few enjoyments he had had for most of his life was wielding this exquisite blade. He took the responsibility of the weapon seriously. He was the only man in a hundred years who knew how to control the impossibly long, whip-thin masterpiece. Its wrapped hilt fit his hands as though it had been made especially for him, the balance just right for a man of his strength.

Strength, HA! He thought, viciously slashing at an imaginary monster. I allowed myself to be controlled by that creature, killed innocents, and nearly destroyed the only person in the world who could possibly understand me! The sudden sting of tears and his old self-disgust made him move faster. I have been used by others my entire life! The sword was a blur now, whirling in tight circles. I will not be used again! He fought the memory of Jenova’s first seductive words in his blackest moment. I am more than what others made me to be! I AM MY OWN MAN! The faces of the villagers from Nibelheim, SOLDIERS, unfortunate employees of ShinRa, everyone he had destroyed in his madness surrounded him. They laughed as he tried to cut them down, crowding closer.

We are your past, they said, you will never be free. We are here to remind you of what you have done.

NO! His mind screamed, Forgive me!

Never, they laughed, You have lost your path…

How do I find my path again? TELL ME!

One woman stepped forward, an ugly red gash across her shoulder and chest. She held a dying child in her arms. She shook her head sadly. We have not the power to forgive you, General. You must forgive yourself.

He collapsed to his knees, weeping. Masamune fell from his nerveless fingers to rest beside him on the ground. He covered his face with both hands, shoulders bent and head down. "I cannot," he whispered, "I am a monster."

Then, a sweet, lilting voice behind him said softly, "No, you are no monster. You are a man. I know you. I—I love you."

Suddenly, the scent of flowers filled the air around him, and the red despair, the smoking, burning town disappeared, to be replaced by cool hands smoothing his brow. He looked up to see the girl he needed, smiling down at him. Her hair had been turned to flames by the sun behind her, the brilliant strands fanning out around her face. His head had been laid in her lap. Her fingers ran through his hair, causing him to tremble. He blinked, and gasped at what he saw.

The wind had lifted her hair again, and he was not certain if it was a trick of the eye, or if it was some message the gods were sending him, but for a moment…

It looked as though a brilliant golden corona had appeared behind her head, and great chestnut-feathered wings had risen from her back. Her luminous green eyes gazed down at him, promising him…something…could it be the thing he knew he deserved least? Her lips moved, saying words he could not hear…Then, he blinked, and she was just herself, still smiling. He reached up to her face, trying to express in words what he had just experienced, when cool oblivion took him. Just as his eyes closed once more, he heard her speak, the words echoing quietly.

"Rest…my love."

Chapter 7

Final Fantasy 7 Fanfic