Bizarre Occurances Chapter 3

A Thief Among Them

By Dino Pollard

“Hey, they’re those Avalanche guys!!” the MP shouted.

“And they’re with Sephiroth!” another exclaimed.

“Who cares?” the leader said. “If we kill them, we’re up for a promotion.

“YUFFIE!!!” Cloud cried out. “Did you lead them to us?”

“N-no!” she said. “I had nothing to do with this one!!”

“What do you mean THIS one?” Vincent asked.


“ATTACK!!!!” one of the MPs called out.


Cloud reached behind his back and drew his wide Buster Sword. The MP started firing at him, and he dodged the bullets with ease. For the ones he couldn’t dodge, he defended himself using his massive weapon. So far, the team was faring pretty well he thought as he observed his teammates defending themselves in battle. But as he looked around, a thought occured to him.

Where’s Yuffie?


Aeris was having some trouble against this particular enemy. She couldn’t dodge his bullets, so instead, she tried to get in close and pray for one good hit. That’s all it would take to get him on the ground. Unfortunately, he had almost backed her into a corner. When she took another step back, she tripped on the rock jutting from the ground. The MP aimed his gun at her and smirked.

Sorry ‘bout this sweet thang,” he said. “But if you be a good girl and do as I say, maybe I won’t pop you.” He licked his lips in anticipation.

“Get away from me!!” Aeris exclaimed.

“Naw.” he said. “You had your chance, babe.” He lifted his gun, ready to strike. Aeris closed her eyes and prepared to face her fate. She heard a few bullets being fired, and they were obviously from his gun, but she heard them clang against something. Perhaps he missed? She opened her eyes to see Cloud standing above her, using his massive sword as a shield.

“You’re falling behind everyone else, Aeris.” the blonde haired man said. “We already finished off our opponents, and you’re still fighting this guy. That’s not very progressive.

Aeris simply smiled. “Well, what do you expect? This guy’s stubborn.”

The next thing she saw was the MP fall to the ground, with Barret standing over him.

“Damn straight.” he answered. “Cloud, we got a problem.”


“Yuffie’s gone.” Tifa replied. “And so’s our Materia.”


“THAT LYING THIEF!!” Barret shouted.

“Calm down,” Red said.

“Everyone check your weapons and armor.” Cloud ordered. “If we’re lucky, someone will still have some Materia left.”

“Shit!” Cid said, lighting up a cigarette. “That little bitch!!”

“No one has any Materia left?” Cloud asked.

“I do.” The whole team turned to Sephiroth. “She must have been too frightened to steal mine.”

“She should be scared o’ ME!!!” Barret exclaimed, showing off his gun-arm.

“She must have led us to Wutai so she could steal our Materia and run home with it.” Aeris stated.

“Den let’s go give her a severe beatin, BARRET-STYLE!!!” Barret shouted, firing some bullets into the air.

“It’ll be quite a walk to Wutai from here.” Sephiroth said. “We should start moving.”


After a few hours of walking, the team spotted several oriental-style buildings.

“That must be Wutai,” Tifa said.

Once in the town, the team spotted a quick glance of Yuffie.

“YUFFIE!!!” Barret shouted. “GIT OVER HERE YA LITTLE THIEF!!!”

“Eeep!!” Yuffie exclaimed as she ran off.

“Nice goin shit-head,” Cid said. “We wanna CATCH the bitch, not scare her off!!”

“OK, let’s just check inside that bar, the Turtle’s Paradise.” Aeris said.


Inside the Turtle’s Paradise, Avalanche saw Elena, Reno and Rude sitting at a table, drinking.

“The Turks,” Vincent said.

“Awww shit,” Barret replied.

“What? It’s THEM!!!” Elena said, turning around. “You were lucky last time. Now you’re gonna be sorry you came here!!” She reached in her jacket for her gun.

“Elena, you talk to much.” Reno said.

“Wh-what?!?” Elena asked, confused.

“What are we doing here?” Reno asked.

“We’re on vacation, resting up from our work.” she responded.

“Exactly.” Reno replied. “Now our vacation’s ruined.”

“But,” Elena began.

“Even the booze tastes bad.” Reno said.

“Sorry,” Elena apologized before turning back to Avalanche. “Guess you got lucky again.”

“Listen up,” Reno said to Avalanche. “Even though we’re off duty doesn’t mean I can stand to look at your ugly faces.”

“I’ll show ya ugly, ya...” Barret began.

“Barret, let it go.” Cloud stopped him.


“Well, that was interesting.” Aeris said.

“No shit.” Cid replied. “Weird too.”

“Now to find Yuffie.” Cloud said. He turned to one of the villagers. “Excuse me sir, have you seen a young girl with a shuriken and a lot of Materia?”

“You mean Yuffie?” the man asked. “You’d have to ask Lord Godo about that.”

“Where does he live?” Tifa asked.

“Near the Pagoda of the Five Mighty Gods.” The man replied, pointing them to the Pagoda.

“Thanks,” Aeris said, running after the team.

“Glad I could help,” he replied.


Inside Lord Godo’s house, the team found Godo meditating in a room.

“Who is it?!?” he asked, turning to the team. “Hmm. I don’t have much, but you should be able to rest yourselves here.”

“Thanks, but what we really want to know is if you’ve seen Yuffie.” Cloud said.

“Yuffie?” Godo responded. “I’m sorry, I don’t know any Yuffie.”

“Huh?” Barret asked. “But that guy told us ta ask you ‘bout her!!”

“I think you’re lying.” Cloud replied.


“You’re lying through your teeth.” Sephiroth said. He reached for his sword. “Now, where is she?”

“Let me guess,” Godo began. “Are you people in trouble with the Shin-Ra? If you are, then I’m gonna have to ask you to leave.”

“What’s with you, you coward!!” Yuffie broke in, dropping down from the ceiling. “You scared of the Shin-Ra? Then why not just fall in line and obey them like all the other towns!”

“YUFFIE!!” Barret shouted. “C’MERE YOU LITTLE THIEF!!!” Aeris and Cloud motioned for him to calm down. He muttered curses through clenched teeth.

“Those guys are the ones who are really fighting the Shin-Ra!!” She said.

“How dare you speak to me in such a tone!!” Godo snapped.

“You get beaten once, and then that’s it?” Yuffie asked. “What happened to the mighty Wutai I used to know?”

“What gives you the right to speak in such a way?!?” Godo asked. “Where did you learn such disrespect?!?”

“That’s my style!” Yuffie replied. “And it’s my own buisness, not yours!! Don’t you try to dictate what I should do!!”

“Style, dictate!! Throwin around all those fancy words!!” Godo shouted. “You’re a miserable daughter!!”

“DAUGHTER?!?” The team said in unison.

“Hmph.” Yuffie responded. “You’re a sad excuse for a father!!”

Godo chased Yuffie out of the house, before returning back to the team.

“Take your things and leave.” he ordered. “In order to protect Wutai, we cannot aford to stand up to the Shin-Ra.” The team did as he said, and left.


Two MPs ran inside the Turtle’s Paradise.

“The report was right!!” one of them said. “He’s here!!”

“We need the Turks to help us,” the second said to Reno.

“We’re on vacation.” Reno replied.

“Reno...” Elena began. Reno put a hand up to silence her.

“We know,” the MP replied. “But we’ve got orders straight from headquart--”

“I don’t care.” Reno snapped. “We’re still on vacation. Now get out of here. Lookin at you’s makin me sober.”

“Fine!!” the MP shouted back as he walked out. “We’ll catch him WITHOUT any help from the Turks!! Just you wait!!”

The second MP turned to Reno, “And don’t think that headquarters isn’t going to hear about this.” He then followed his partner out the door.

“Reno, was that a good idea?” Elena asked. “Is that any way a professional--a Turk--would act?”

“Elena, don’t misunderstand,” Reno began. “A pro isn’t someone who sacrifices himself for his job, that’s just a fool.”

“Rude...?” Elena said, turning to her other companion.


“FINE!!” Elena said as she stormed out the door.


“Don’t worry,” Reno said to his friend. “She can take care of herself. Let her have her way for now.”


“That boy outside said he heard a pounding in this shop.” Cloud said, as he led the team into the Materia shop.

“And since it’s a Materia shop, it’s the perfect place for Yuffie.” Red responded.

“Hey!!” Cait said. “There’s a treasure chest!!!”

Cloud opened the treasure chest and examind the two Materia orbs inside.

“MP and HP Absorb. Could be useful.” He said as he was about to place them on his armlet.

Yuffie dropped down at the exact second and grabbed the two orbs.

“YUFFIE!!!” Cloud shouted after her. “SHIT!!!”

“Guess that puts us back at square one.” Red said. “What about the weapon shop.”

“Yeah, that’s about the only place we haven’t searched,” Cloud replied.

As the team walked past the Turtle’s Paradise, Tifa stopped Cloud.

“Cloud, look at that pot,” she whispered, pointing to the pot outside the bar. “It’s shaking… a lot.” Cloud nodded. He walked up to the pot without a sound, and motioned for the team to block all exits. He then punched the put once. Twice. The third time he punched it, Yuffie popped out.

“Eeep!!” she said. She ran to find an exit, but was blocked by the rest of Avalanche “All right, you win. I’ll give you back your Materia. Follow me.”


Yuffie led the team into her house.

“I know, the Mteria, right?” she said. “I have it stored in a safe place.”

She led them down to the basement, to what appeared to be a training area.

“...I've been hearing ever since I was little, that before I was born, Wutai was a lot more
crowded and a lot more importent.” She said. “But after the war, it just became a big tourist attraction. That’s why I thought that if I had a lot of Materia, I could...”

“Yuffie, I don’t care about any of that.” Cloud said, cutting her off. “You have our Materia, and I want it back.”

“*sniff* you’re right.” Yuffie responded, tears beginning to stream down her cheek. “The *sniff* switch on the left, Materia’s *sniff* in there.”

“Cloud, wasn’t that a bit harsh?” Aeris asked.

“No, it wasn’t.” Cloud replied.

“Hmph.” Aeris replied, turning away from him. Cloud shrugged his shoulders. He pulled the switch on the left, just as Yuffie had said to. A giant cage fell on the team.

“HA HA!!” Yuffie said victoriously. “The Materia’s MINE!!! And if ya want it back, ya gotta steel it!!! Get it? Steel?!? HA HA HA!!!” She laughed as she ran off.

“THAT LITTLE SHIT!!” Cid cursed. “CLOUD!!! OPEN THIS FUCKIN THING!!!!” Cloud pulled the lever again and the cage went back up to the ceiling.

“You IDIOT!!!” Sephiroth shouted. “Why didn’t you catch her once the cage fell!!! You had more than enough time to grab her while she gloated!!”

“I had to set you free!!” Cloud retaliated. He reached back for his sword, yearning for this moment ever since he saw Sephiroth destroy Nibelheim. Sephiroth did the same. Aeris stepped inbetween the two men.

“OK, that’s enough!!” she ordered. “We need to find Yuffie, and killing each other won’t get the job done.”

“You the peacemaker, Aeris?” Cloud asked.

“If I have to be. then I will be.” Aeris said. “Come on. I thought I saw another building near Godo’s house. Maybe she went in there.”


The team made their way to the second building.

“Hit the gong,” Sephiroth ordered.

“Why?” Cid asked. “You in the mood for some music?”

“When I fought here in the war, the gongs were used to trigger secret passages.” Sephiroth replied, glaring at Cid. “I assume it will still work.” Barret walked up to the gong and triggered it. Sure enough, a secret passage opened up.

“Let’s go,” Cloud said. He drew his sword, ready for anything.

As the team entered the passage, a mysterious figure sat pearched atop Godo’s house, watching them.

“So, they are also against the Shin-Ra it seems.” He said. “This should be interesting.”


“HEY!!!” Yuffie shouted. “Let go! I SAID let GO! Hey!! Who do you think I - OW!! Hey,
what're ya doin?!”

“YUFFIE!!” Cloud shouted as he entered the room the passage led to.

“Ho.......ho,” a voice said.

“No,” Aeris said. “It can’t be.”

“YOU!!” Tifa yelled.

“DON CORNEO!!” Cloud shouted.

“Tifa, isn’t this the dude who tried to jump yer bones?” Barret asked. “And when Cloud...dressed up as a girl?!?” He started to chuckle.

“Ummmmm......” Tifa said.

“Hohi, hohi!!” Corneo said. “I’ve got another chicky!! Two for the price of one, in fact. Hohi, hohi!!”


“HEY!!” Elena yelled out. “If you don’t let me go, I promise you’ll pay!!”

“It’s the female Turk.” Vincent said.

“Hohi, hohi, hohihi!!” Corneo said as he ran up the stairs with the team close behind.
“THERE HE IS!!” an MP shouted blocking Corneo’s path.

“Uh-oh....” Corneo said.

“ATTAAACK!!!” his partner shouted. They started firing rounds at Avalanche Corneo jumped out of the way.

“SHIT!!” Cid yelled. “Perfect timing, ya Shin-Ra bastards!!!”

“There’re only two this time!!!” Cloud said. “Barret, just finish them off quickly so we can go after Corneo!!” Barret replied and let off several rounds into the MPs. The team then ran out to chase Corneo down.


“Hmmm,” Reno said. “We’re late. Corneo’s here and he’s got Elena.”

“......Elena,” Rude said. As if on cue, Avalanche came out of Godo’s house to find themselves face to face with Reno and Rude.

“Shit, not again!!” Cid cursed while lighting up a cigarette.

Reno turned to them. “Isn’t this a little strange. The Turks and Avalanche.”

“OK,” Cloud said. “Corneo took Yuffie as well as Elena. And without Yuffie, we can’t get our Materia back.”

“This doesn’t mean we’re joining you,” Reno said. “We’ll just agree to stay out of each other’s way.”

“Agreed.” Cloud replied. “We have no intention of cooperating with the Turks, either. So, where did he go?”

“Hmm, nice attitude,” Reno replied. “That big mountain/statue. I think they call it Da-Chao.” The two Turks ran off with Avalanche following close behind.


“Hmm, about time you got here,” Reno said to Cloud once they arrived at the base of Da-Chao. “OK, do whatever you like to Corneo. Just don’t hurt Elena. We won’t hurt that girl, Yuffie, either.” Cloud nodded. The two Turks ran off in one direction, with Avalanche in another.


“Hmmmm, splendid,” Corneo said. “Who should I go with tonight? How about the blonde?” He had brought the two and tied them up to the eyes of Da-Chao.

“H--Hey!!!” Elena protested. “I’m one of the Turks!!!”

“Or....HER!!!” Corneo said looking at Yuffie.

“Oh GAWD!!!” Yuffie exclaimed. “If I knew this was gonna happen, I would’ve taken rope-escape lessons more seriously!!!”

“I’VE GOT IT!!!” Corneo yelled. “My companion for tonight will be... THE CHEERFUL ONE!!!”

“GROSS-NESS!!!!” Yuffie shouted, sticking her tongue out. “DON’T MESS WITH ME OLD MAN, YOU DON’T EVEN HAVE ANY MATERIA!!!”

“OOO!!” Corneo exclaimed. “And she’s saucy too!!”

“Hold it right there, you scum!!” Cloud shouted.

“I remember you!” Corneo said, turning to face Cloud.

“He was the blonde!!” Barret said, practically falling over in laughter. He then straightened up and readied his gun-arm, still snickering.

“Why did you have to kill my little Aps?” Corneo asked. “I’m going to make you ‘play’ with my NEW pet!!”

“Oh shit.” Cloud said. “If it’s anything like that sewer monster, we’re in trouble.”

“It’s MUCH worse!!” Corneo said, grinning. “RAPPS!!!!”

A giant flying monster appeared before the team.

“Damn.” Barret said. “If anyone gets killed ‘cause that little thief stole our Materia, I’m gonna be pissed!!”

Sephiroth runs towards the creature, Masamune ready for action.

“Sephiroth, wait!!” Cloud shouted. “We’ve gotta form a plan of....” Cloud cuts himself off as he watches Sephiroth destroy Rapps with several furious swipes of his eight-foot blade.

“...action?” Cloud said, amazed at what Sephiroth just did.

“,” Aeris said.

Cloud pulled himself together and turned to Corneo. “You’re next if you don’t let them go!!”

“WAIT!!” he shouted. “Why do you think I’m doing this?”

“Because you don’t know what the hell’s going on,” Barret replied.

“Hmmmm, WRONG!!!!” Corneo said. He pulled a lever causing Elena and Yuffie to be turned upside down and about to be dropped. “Stay back!!! If I push this button, they die!!!”

Before Corneo could do anything, a bullet caught him in the shoulder, causing him to fall back. He saved himself by grabbing onto the statue.

“Vincent, did you...” Cloud asked, turning to his crimson clad teammate. Vincent simply shook his head.

“No one dies tonight, Corneo,” Reno said, holding a smoking gun. “Except for you.” He holstered the weapon. Cloud turned to see Rude untying Elena.

“Now, why do you think we went to all this trouble to team up with these guys to catch you?” Reno asked Corneo, walking to the edge of the statue. “Because we want to die; Because we know we’re going to win; Because we don’t know what the hell’s going on.”

“Ummm, the second one!!” Corneo shouted, hanging on to the statue for dear life.

“Wrong,” Reno replied. He stepped on Corneo’s hands, causing him to fall. “The correct answer was....”

“...because it’s our job.” Rude continued.

“Oh, thank you, thank you,” Elena said to Avalanche. “I never expected YOU to help!!”

“Elena, don’t act so weak,” Reno ordered. “You’re a Turk.”

“Sorry,” She apologized. A few seconds later, Reno’s PHS started to ring.

“Reno here,” he said. “Yeah. All right.” He hung it up, and placed it back in his pocket.

“Who was it?” Elena asked.

“Tseng,” Reno answered. “He told us to stop Cloud and the others.”

Avalanche readied themselves for battle.

“We still on vacation?” Rude asked.

Reno looked at his watch. “For another two hours.” The team calmed down.

“Hey, that’s great and all,” Yuffie broke in. “But LET--ME--DOWN!!”


Back in Yuffie’s house, she moved quickly, placing the Materia back in their armor.

“Phew, perfect,” she said. “Now the Materia is back in its rightful place.”

“Hey!!” Cloud protested. “It’s all in the wrong order!!”

“Huh? Oh don’t be so picky!!” Yuffie said. “Y’know, normally I would kick their butts!! BOOM!! BANG!!”

“Now we need to go to the Temple of the Ancients,” Aeris said.

“To gain entrance to the Temple, we need the Keystone,” Sephiroth said, ignoring Yuffie.

“Man, that Corneo guy’s a real pain!” Yuffie said. “I’d rather deal with my dad than him!!”

“Keystone.....” Cait Sith said. “HEY!! I know where we can get it!!”

“Spill it, cat!!” Barret said.

“Dio, the guy who owns the Gold Saucer,” Cait answered “He has it.”

“He does?” Cloud asked. Cait nodded.

“He said he bought it from some weapon seller,” Cait said.

“Den let’s go get it!!” Barret said.

“Yeah!!” Yuffie exclaimed. “Let’s continue our journey!!”

The rest of the team had already started to walk out of Yuffie’s house.

“HEY!! OK, I’ll give you this!!” Yuffie tossed the HP/MP Absorb Materia at Cloud, who caught it. “C’MON, WAIT UP!!!”


As the team boarded the Tiny Bronco, the same man who saw them enter the passage at Wutai watched them now as the Bronco began to head out to sea.

“So, they’re on a quest to save the planet.” He said. “Well, then they will need the assitance of Shen Long.”
AUTHOR’S NOTE: No, you didn’t miss any secret characters in the game. Shen Long is completely original. You’re going to be seeing a LOT more original characters as the fanfic goes on. Shen is just the first of many.


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