My Fellow Dragnierians II Chapter 2
McDohl's Navy!
By Fred Delles
(A lot of this was inspired by the Simpsons episode where Sideshow Bob attempts to nuke Springfield if TV wasn't done away with. So sue me. 8-) )
Before we begin, I'd like to point out a quick glitch in Chapter 1: Apparently, Pete Townshend of "The Who" was the lead guitarist of the band, NOT the lead singer. Roger Daltrey was the lead singer. Yup, I must really be the deaf, dumb, and blind boy… 8-)
As Ryu and Nina were playing with their son on the nearby couch at Castle Wyndia, Rei and Momo were ranting toward one another about her new invention under the doorway.
"I highly suggest that you don't go with this weapon!" Rei commanded, toward Momo. "That thing inside the van will surely wreck havoc!"
"That's nothing compared to your weretiger ability, Rei!" Momo ranted back. "And, it IS the van!"
"Hope it ain't the van this side of the A-Team," Rei mused. "Though they surely can kick Fei's ass nine ways to Tuesday!"
"What about Fei?" Momo asked. "What did he do to you, anyway?"
Rei both pondered and ranted at Momo's question at the same time. "Fei? He tried to fry me in the hotel the other night! He nearly got Tengaar convicted, and I'll bet he's gonna have Elly spam hate mail to every Dragon's e-mail address. Elly… I wonder what she's doing right now?"
* * * * *
Back at the Gregminster Correctional Facility (and minimum-security prison), Elly was finishing off her ultimate divine mission… completing her ultimate conquest of designing a model Weltall Gear out of matchsticks, inside a bottle.
"Ah, the Weltall Gear!" Elly commented, placing the final touches on her superb work of art. "All the Gebler officers in the world would stand in all eternity in awe of its beauty!"
After installing the final matchstick, Elly meticulously picked up a small pair of tweezers and inserted them into the neck of the bottle. "Now… to set it to 'Infinite Attack Mode'!"
Suddenly, there was a massive boom of laughter, shocking Elly in surprise. The tweezers bumped the model Gear, smashing it up into total disorder.
"Aargh! And on the 'Vierge' of success!" Elly yelled, half-aware of her pun.
Elly ran right out of her cell room and into the recreation room. She glared at the score of other inmates giving a collective stare at a television, watching the ever-popular Jerry Springer. She also noticed that it was a five-hundred-old rerun… all about three of Ryu the Second's several half-Dragon kids, all half-siblings of one another: one born from Ryu and Nina, a second born from Ryu and Katt, and a third born from Ryu and Bleu. The entire group, except for Elly, was laughing at the tirade of insults and fire from the Dragon forms of the kids as Jerry Springer merely looked on toward the sibling rivalry.
"Must you bray night and day at those infernal fire-breathers!?" Elly ranted.
"Well, look who's talking, Elly!" an inmate replied. "Your world and actions are very similar to theirs! Mortals fighting rules and beliefs of gods, your 'Deus' theory-"
"Don't REMIND me!" Elly snarled. "Dragons are the sin of ALL the worlds! Their capering and follies have corrupted and killed more young minds than syphilis and Pokemon combined!"
Elly stared away at total, suspenseful darkness. "Oooh, how I loathe those cliches of fantasy, their corruption, their moronic, hyped save-the-world-"
Suddenly, the Solarian found herself grabbed by the shoulders and turned around. It was the indigo Bleu.
Bleu made it clear that the subject on Dragons should never be taken lightly. "HEY! I am the living ancestor of over SIXTY percent of the world's Dragon clansmen! And I gave birth to dozens of 'em, too! Why, I ought to-"
"All right, that's enough, break it up, girls!" A man by the name of Grenseal walked up and separated the two before all hell broke loose. "We've got work detail later today!"
Elly was about to walk off as Bleu punched a comment. "And I suppose you don't like blonde-haired women named Nina, either!"
Elly frowned.
* * * * *
The day's work detail was done at the fraternity houses of the naval base of Shasarazade at the Toran Republic. The prisoners were raking up all the beer cans, pieces of paper, playing cards, cups, and some unmentionables from last night's tremendous fraternity smoker.
"There!" Elly breathed a sigh of relief as she stared at her handiwork - a neatly raked pile measuring over five feet in height. "That's the last condom wrapper!"
Suddenly, a Dragon from the nearby Dragon's Den flew by. Its near-gale-force wind from its high speed disintegrated and scattered Elly's raked-up pile back into a state of higher entropy.
Angered at the ruins of her work, Elly slammed the rake down on the ground in disgust. "I RENEW my objection to this pointless endeavor! Inform me now, by affidavit, time permitting-"
"Aw, shut your wordhole!" A handsome-looking guard by the name of Alen walked up to the group of prisoners, his eyes focused on the mutinous Elly van Houten. "I want ALL this trash picked up for tomorrow's air show!"
"AIR show!?" Elly raved. "And at a naval base!? What moron would do such a thing!? Primitive flyers flown by wingnuts merely subaltern bavardage to the Gears of Solaris and far beyond!? Tell me, what kind of spoony rube would be interested in something like THAT!?"
* * * * *
"EXCELLENT!" Practically every single person in the Windia castle stared at the full-page ads of the Shasarazade Air Show and Invention Convention in the latest Wyndia Flying Sentinel.
"No Great Birds!? Dammit…" Nina sighed, simply.
The day's work finished, Elly laid her head on the pillow back in her jail cell at Gregminster. "So weary…"
The chattering of the television held by her cellmate interrupted Elly's brief respite.
"…CNN evening news. One hundred years ago tomorrow, Lorima launched missiles at the Empire of the Mana World. And as the cycles would show, the Dragon princes of Wyndia, Ryu Wyndia and Teepo Chiba, have recently sponsored to launch a satellite in orbit in the Breath of Fire world. The two code-named the satellite after the Alan Parsons Project, calling it the… Alan Parsons Project!"
"WHAT!?" Elly yelled, as CNN began the interview.
"…and there's Deus, along with Solaris in that Xeno region, and Station Myria tumbled here just last year, so it's a start with our space program. And with Dragons at the helm, and funding by Alan Parsons' Parsonics*, and beyond, we'll be back with the superpowers of the universe in no time!" Nina stated, to the interviewers, on the television network. "By the way… wasn't I supposed to get some kinda letter from the Toran Republic…?"
Elly began ranting and kvetching at the situation at hand. "They're not gonna show themselves to the world! Before I know it, they'll have Bill Gates fund and control the networking sludge of the planet! They'll raise the Dragon Empire again and even control all of… Square! By the powers of the gods and beyond, I won't let them have it!"
The news continued onward. "… and the Indigo Bleu of Wisdon will be released from Gregminster tomorrow morning at 9AM, Toran Standard Time!"
"Bleu!? That damn pro-Dragon supporter will get Aerods up her ass when I'm out!" Elly ranted.
* * * * *
The next morning rolled into the recently reformed Toran Republic.
The prison doors of the Gregminster Correctional Facility (and minimum-security prison) creaked open, with two guards and their prisoner in tow. The three walked a steady beat across the long corridor as the prisoners morosely stared at the recently paroled inmate.
"Bleu, this way," one of the escorting guards stated, pointing toward the release office.
Bleu was in women prisoner's clothing. Recently paroled for indecent exposure (or at least, that's what the police at Gregminster suspected), she was damn proud to leave the foreign region of the two Suikoden eras.
The three entered the release office. There was a windowed desk with iron bars around its window, and a bored warden at the helm. A black line five feet away from the desk stood in plain view.
Bleu unconsciously crossed the black line. The guards forced her back as if a wild animal, which was ironic in her calm attitude. The Indigo decided not to argue.
As Bleu stood behind the black line, the guard took out a box of Bleu's belongings. He promptly opened the box, and started to name off the contents on the list on its lid.
"One armor robe, fireproof and one hundred percent cotton," the warden stated, as he took out Bleu's pain piece of attire and placed it on the desk.
"One purple cloak, anti-magic." The warden took out a nondescript purple cloak and promptly placed it on the desk.
"One Storm Ring, lightning elemental, capable of Myollnir magic." The warden placed a small ring on top of the robe and cloak.
"One unused prophylactic, belonging to a Teepo Chiba," The warden took out the perfectly sealed condom and placed it on top of Bleu's street clothes.
The warden then took out a pair of tweezers, and took out a plastic bag with something quite unmentionable. "One used, belonging to a Teepo Chiba…"
Bleu gave a sheepish grin over last night's incident with the lavender-haired Dragon as the warden continued in an automaton-ish manner.
"One Evil Cane of the first Destined Cycle." The warden matter-of-factly took out a thousand-year-old wood-and-ruby cane, and placed it on the desk on top of the rest of the other belongings.
"Two Fire Earrings," The guard took out two five-hundred-old gold earrings, a wedding gift to Bleu after she married the second Ryu (along with Nina and Katt) in a polygamic marriage. The objects of beauty were placed along with the rest of Bleu's stuff.
The warden took out the last of Bleu's belongings - a manila envelope with small metallic objects inside. "Two hundred and thirty-one zenny, plus keys to a 1938 Rolls Royce Phantom II and a 1968 MG Midget." He then placed the last of Bleu's possessions on the pile.
The prison warden slid a sheet of paper to the edge of the desk. "Sign here." He handed out a pen.
Bleu tried to slither across the line, but the guards shoved her back. She then leaned toward the desk, and signed the paper in her highly unbalanced position.
After getting back in her usual attire, Bleu stood outside the gates, patiently waiting for her ride back to Wyndia. Bleu knew very little of Elly, but the little she did know was the fact that Fei's lover was absolutely no harm to the Dragons in her condition, cooped up in a foreign cell for her crimes in that very region.
Finally, the telltale 1985 gray Ford of Teepo's zoomed into the region. It made a stop right in front of Bleu.
Bleu slithered into the passenger's side of the vehicle, and it promptly zoomed off.
Teepo did not bother to take more than three seconds to look at Bleu as he drove straight for the transporter out of the region.
"If I say that it's for the Dragons, too, what should I say, anyway?" Bleu asked, cryptically. "I mean, I explained my story last night when the two of us were making love! I TOLD you that after my shower, I went out to get the paper from my hotel room two weeks ago, then the towel fell off my entire body and landed inside the hotel room, and then the door closed and locked and I didn't have my key!"
"Why didn't you knock the door down with your magic?" Teepo asked, without batting an eye toward Bleu. "Or you forgot your spells again?"
"And demolish the place?" Bleu ranted.
"Yeah, demolish the place! You're a Dragon, for Ladon's sake!" Teepo replied.
Bleu suddenly gave Teepo a kiss on his lips. "And with me around, we'll have lots of little Dragons around us, too!"
"I must be in the Twilight Zone… again," Teepo said to himself.
* * * * *
While the group was cleaning and polishing off the Liberation Army's various ships back at Shasarazade, Elly merely leaned on her ladder and pensively looked up at the sky.
"HEY!" Alen yelled, toward Elly, bringing her back to reality. "The Toran Republic's not paying you five bits an hour to mope around, so get busy!"
"Get busy?" Elly replied toward the guard. "YOU should be the ones… getting busy, indeed! Ha, ha, ha, ha… HAHAHAHA!" Unusually enough, Elly started laughing like a hyena.
"Heh, heh…" Alen chuckled back. "…Never thought that Solarians had a sense of humor!"
Two adjacent gazebos near the naval base were holding a pair of conventions. In the sixth gazebo, the "Role-Playing Games' Magnificent Seven" were holding a small party. The adjacent seventh gazebo held the Kleptomaniac's Convention.
Barret, Rudy, Clive, and a couple others were chatting and shooting at targets in the back.
Lucca drew her Wonder Shot, pointed the gun at the jar of Grey Poupon, and blasted it, spattering mustard over Krin, Yuffie, Vargas, and Sydonia of the Kleptomaniac's Convention.
"Ha ha… Like, the joke's on you!" Yuffie yelled. "We stole that mustard from your table, so, like, you shot your OWN jar!"
"D'OH!" Lucca cursed.
"I miss that easygoing bandit life," Vargas commented.
"Hee hee hee," Krin laughed.
"Heh," Sydonia added.
Rei drove his car through the main parking gates as Momo drove the separate Ford Windstar through the Invention Convention contestants' gate.
"Way to go guarding the parking lot, Army dude!" Ryu sarcastically stated, as Qlon was directing cars to certain parts of the lawn-turned-parking lot.
"Ha! The Toran Republic gave me THREE medals for this!" Qlon stated.
Sonya Shulen sat proudly at her desk in the Admiral's Office of Shasarazade, writing a bunch of letters. After Milia and Futch walked inside, Sonya told about yesterday's news. "You know, CNN has told lots about the Dragons lately. Including two Dragons by the name of Ryu and Teepo!"
"Yeah! Let the ultra-obscure world of Dragons come out of hiding for once!" Milia yelled.
"That's the problem," Sonya replied. "Rumors say that a crack team of terrorists called the RPG Magnificent Seven plan to eliminate the Dragons of the many worlds. The leader's girlfriend, Elly van Houten, was held in the Gregminster Correctional Facility, as I recall…"
"You're just making me paranoid," Milia replied. "You probably will make Futch even MORE paranoid, too!"
"I'm not paranoid," Futch replied, simply.
"Yeah, right," Milia whispered to herself. "And speaking of paranoia, I'd better see if Thrash is okay!" The female Dragon Rider quickly ran off.
"Anywho, despite being just a rumor, the Wyndians must be warned about this," Sonya replied. She then gave a small cardboard envelope parcel to the younger Dragon Rider. "Send this prompt parcel package to the princess of Wyndia post-haste!"
"Uh, yes, ma'am!" Futch grabbed the parcel and took it outside. He ran inside the nearby barracks, and gave it to Alen and Grenseal.
"The Admiral says that you must deliver this prompt parcel package post-haste!" Alen and Grenseal took the parcel package and ran off.
Alen browsed the parcel, and ran to the fraternity house. He dropped it in Camus's mailbox.
One minute later, Camus walked by, and opened the mailbox, removing three pornographic magazines, along with the parcel. Calmly, he marched off to the women's barracks, parcel in hand.
"Mail on floor!" Camus bellowed.
"A male… it must be that idiot Camus," Valeria marched up to the tall, blonde Matildan Knight.
"I meant MAIL! A prompt parcel package to the Wyndian princess post-haste!" Camus replied, sightly dejected with his failed attempt to see one of the soldier beauties scantily-clad… or even less.
Valeria shoved down her anger, and gestured Camus to follow. "Follow me!"
Camus entered the recreation room, where a dozen women were all staring at a single 13-inch television, watching the news on CNN about the Dragons and the rumors of the RPG Magnificent Seven.
"I think you have better things to do with your time, ladies!" Camus yelled, after glancing at the scene. Not one woman turned around to even greet him.
A young woman in a pink uniform was suddenly behind him. "You've got mail, and it ain't the America Online type!"
"Kasumi!?" Camus yelled. "You haven't done jack with that McDohl kid for three years. How's about me?"
"I'm in charge of the mail today, so just give the letter to me and be off…" As Kasumi trailed her last sentence, she slipped the parcel out of Camus's loose fingers. As he turned around, the female ninja then gave Camus a back slap, and the knight slowly and dejectedly sulked away.
Camille came in about ten seconds after Camus left. "Well, with all the chaos going on here, at least the mail's still working!" Camille stated, as she joined Kasumi, walking to the back door.
"Who gave that?" Camille asked.
"Camus," Kasumi replied.
"What's the letter about?"
"It's yet another prompt parcel package post-haste," Kasumi replied, in a low tone. "I'm so sick of 'em since Young Master ran away three years ago!"
"Just get rid of it," Camille stated.
"Jeane's got the mail tomorrow," Kasumi replied. "I'll just give it to her! Whatever goes to Camus must not be important at all!" As the two passed Jeane's mailbox, Kasumi tossed the prompt parcel package in Jeane's mailbox.
A couple of minutes later, the sexy, light-silvery haired Jeane walked by, passing the mailbox, almost getting her silky white dress caught on the nearby door. As it was still morning, she noticed that the prompt parcel package post-haste was way too damn early.
"Well… the mail's early. Tee-hee… from the son of Genkaku?" Jeane said, to herself.
Camille passed by. "From the son-of-a-bitch Camus," she spat.
"Ho, ho… I'm returning it to its sender!" Jeane jogged out of the women's barracks and back to the fraternity where Camus was residing. She tossed the parcel in Camus's mailbox.
Right when Jeane was about to leave, Camus ran out to greet Jeane, and further their (not-too-good) relationship. "Love letter for me?"
"No, just something for Sonya. And if you think you can talk me into a date, I'll force you to find alternate ways to father children!" Jeane marched off as Camus grabbed the parcel, and ran straight off to the Admiral's office.
About a couple of seconds later, Camus slammed open the door, and brandished the parcel right in front of Sonya's face. "Milady, one prompt parcel package post-haste, my pretty, prissy pixie-" Camus was interrupted as Sonya snatched the parcel from his hands.
"Shaddup and let me take a look at it!" Sonya looked at the addresses on the front of the parcel. After a brief look, her eyes lit like fire. "That's the RETURN address, you MORON!"
"That means a 'no' for a date… right?" Camus asked.
"You're lucky I didn't clobber you with Royal Blue," Sonya angrily replied. "You’re lucky I didn't clobber you in the right spot disallowing you from ever dating again!"
"And you're lucky Jeane didn't do that either…" Camus started.
While waiting for the shows to begin, Milia stared at the massive 100-foot-tall statue of Master Luke McDohl, completely made of ice.
"I can’t believe that you used Thrash for such a thing," Milia snarled, at Ivanov.
"You've got to go great distances for art," Ivanov replied, merely. "The ice statue's hollowed out, too!"
"The statue's not the only thing that's gonna be hollowed out when you use Thrash for something like that EVER again!" Milia yelled.
Fifty meters away, Alen stared at the list on his clipboard as the prisoners entered the bus back to the maximum-security prison single-file. "We're missing two people… where's Elly van Houten and that… thing that steals children's souls?"
"Pika pika!" Pikachu climbed on the bus.
"Okay, where's Elly van Houten!?" Alen yelled.
"She ran off," a kid named Ash stated, fiddling around with a Pokeball. He climbed on the bus.
"Oh… crap," Grenseal replied. "What now?"
"Well… if she calls, make sure to pick her up, okay?" Alen replied. "C'mon, drive!" The two went back to their guard post as the bus driver started the bus's engine.
As the bus left for its designation, Elly jumped out from behind the statue of Odessa Silverburg. Snickering, she continued on her mission…
Ryu, Rei, Nina, Hix, Momo, and Peco were all staring at the newest weapon of the country's army - the Emerald Weapon Mark II.
"This here is the Emerald Weapon Mark II," one of the guards stated. "It is the most advanced prototype of a Weapon in the Liberation Army."
"Six arms and FOUR wings!?" Nina gaped. "Doesn't that beat all…?"
"You may think it's very complicated," the guard replied. "However, it's so easy to use, even a baby can operate it!"
"Can Hix here try?" Ryu said, picking up his infant son from the stroller.
"Of course he can not," the guard replied simply.
Other people were lined up for one of the other exhibits - "Sit in a Real BattleTech Marauder II Class C".
Apparently, Teepo was sitting in the cockpit, yelling and cursing ten ways toward Mr. Furious as he played around the buttons and flight stick like a video game.
"BWAHAHAHA!" Teepo laughed. "Take that, Death Evan!"
Teepo then bashed other various buttons. "And take that, Emperor Zog!" He continued cursing as he punched other buttons like a madman. "Take me to Myria, will you!? Take that, you damn goddess!"
Teepo's next press was on the large "Eject" button. The next second, the seat shot out of the cockpit like a cannon, with Teepo aboard. After a ten-second hang time, he crashed into an edifice near the army barracks.
One hundred yards from Teepo's landing place - an empty snack bar - the admiral Sonya Shulen was staring at the undelivered prompt postage-paid package in her office.
"They're expecting you at the podium in ten minutes," Camus stated.
"Yeah, yeah," Sonya grumbled, walking out of her office. "Go back to your beer and Playboy…"
Outside, Elly was a full step ahead. After watching Sonya exit the building, she sneaked into a closet-like door, labeled "Admiral's Washroom".
Elly quickly entered the door and looked around. She noticed the recently cleaned and lint-free dress towels hanging on a bar next to the sink. Without a second thought, she grabbed the towels and chucked them outside.
Snickering, she then closed the door and locked it.
In a discontented mood, Sonya marched off to her "Admiral's Washroom". Suddenly, she noticed a disheveled heap of a cloth on the ground!
"WHAT in the NAME of the great General Teo McDohl!?" Sonya yelled, snatching the towels off the ground. "Those are my dress towels!" Sonya then stared at the washroom door, and tried the doorknob, but the door was closed and locked tight.
Marching up to the door, she gave it three quick, furious raps. "Son, get the hell out of my washroom!" Sonya started tugging the doorknob. "LET ME IN!"
Elly defiantly stood inside. "I'm not Luke, sister!" she yelled. "The washroom door IS closed! And who might you be?"
"Me!?" Sonya yelled. "I'm Admiral Sonya Shulen! And if you don't come out of there, I'll tear you up like a Kleenex at a snot party!"
"Are you saying that you're in the military!?" Elly merely replied, almost chuckling, as she wrote Sonya's words verbatim on a small sheet of paper.
"By the Stars of Destiny, I sure am!" Sonya replied, with her anger about to erupt like a volcano. "And if you don't come out on the count of three, I'll chop your head off with Royal Blue and beat you to death with it!"
There was no reply. Sonya started counting. "One… two… THREE!" With one simple shoulder bash, Sonya forced open the door, and readied her weapon. There was nothing inside except the toilet, sink, clean tiled floor, and large wastebasket.
"Damn!" Sonya cursed. "I drew out Royal Blue for absolutely nothing!"
She stared at her weapon. "Sorry 'bout that." After giving her glaive a quick kiss, she walked off.
Elly was snickering in the large wastebasket. After Sonya vanished from sight, Elly got out, and continued on her top-secret mission.
No one ever noticed while at his or her tour of the Liberation Army.
"Look at that hunk of junk!" Ryu commented, as the group stared at a small red propeller plane.
"Are you dense!?" Bleu yelled. "That's the Tiny Bronco Model B! In the second destined cycle, a teenager named Crono flew it fifteen miles on a thimbleful of Tonic! Single-handedly helped win the Jenova War by foiling the Sinistrals in their plan to raise the Mana Fortress, it sure did!"
"Gee, how do you know so much about RPG history?" Ryu asked.
"I don't know," Bleu replied. "I try to remember it like I remember my old spells, while drinking Jolt Cola at the same time!"
Elly sneaked to the next building, avoiding any guards that were nearby. The building read, "Weapons Facility: Over 16,000 runes and still counting!"
The Solarian spy drew out her sheet of paper, and knocked on the door.
"Authorization code required," the guard said, simply.
Almost perfectly emulating Sonya’s voice, Elly ranted at the guard. "Authorization code!? Son, there was a massive puke party at the frat house! And it ain’t clean!"
"I know about the frat house! We cleaned that up this morning, ma’am!" the guard replied.
"It’s cleaned up when I TELL you it’s cleaned up!" Elly ranted. "And if you don’t come out and clean it now, I’ll tear you up like a Culex at a…" – Elly realized her Freudian slip-style mistake – "…snot… party…"
"CULEX!?" the guard yelled. "Matter and anti-matter!? Right away, ma’am!" Grabbing a bucket and mop, he jogged right out the one-way door.
Elly put her foot between the frame and closing door, and sneaked inside.
Rei separated from the group out of total boredom. He then noticed the adjacent gazebos with the two conventions.
"A Kleptomaniacs’ Convention!?" Rei yelled, right after he noticed the sign. "Viva life!"
Rei rushed down the hill like an insane Stallion escaping the Village of the Elves. He then started snagging several sandwiches from the nearby table.
Yuffie walked up to Rei. "Hey, like, what are you doing!?"
"Outta my way, valley girl!" Rei brushed Yuffie off as he grabbed more food.
Nina held her head in pain as the air show was ready to begin. Rei came back after his thievery from the Kleptomaniacs' Convention with a bunch of snacks, plus some extras.
"They didn't have any aspirin, so I brought you the closest thing, Neen," Rei said, handing a packet of Marlboro cigarettes to Nina.
Disgruntled, Nina tossed the pack behind the bleachers. "Maybe my headache will go away once the show begins…"
The loudspeakers behind Nina blared as Sonya addressed the Liberation Army to the crowd. "Ladies and gentlemen, on behalf of the Liberation Army naval base of Shasarazade, and the Knight's Party of the Toran Republic, and the Matildan Knights…"
Scores of meters away, Elly walked outside with a red baseball-sized orb. "And don't forget the Knights of the Round!… HAHAHAHAHA!"
Quipping and whistling, she marched across the empty field between the weapons storage and barracks. After some walking, Elly opened a trapdoor above her in an unknown location, and jumped inside, degenerate weapon in hand.
Sonya still continued her spiel to the seemingly bored crowd. "And in this day, we will continue the dream of man, only accomplished by Windians and Wingers!… To fly! A dream of man and flightless bird alike!"
The admiral then directed her hand toward the sky behind her. "And now, the Mana World-bred Flammie Dragons!"
The crowd went into a tremendous, ecstatic uproar as three Flammies, piloted by both Dragon Clansmen and Toran Dragon Riders, made their uproar, hovering right into view of the massive crowd. They then blazed off in near-supersonic speed, zooming right above the crowd. Rei stared toward nothingness as Ryu, Teepo, Nina, Momo, and Hix stared and gaped at the great white quad-winged dragons as Sammy Hagar-induced music blared from the loudspeakers.
"Rei, are you dense!?" Momo yelled, as the three Flammies flew above and past the group's heads. Rei still didn't even seem to notice.
"Why turn your head around like a spoony moron when we have the Jumbo-tron?" Rei replied, as he directed the group toward the massive TV screen, which was viewing the three Flammies flying away.
The screen viewed another scene - Nina holding her and Ryu's young son, Hix.
"Hey, that's little Hix Windia!" Ryu yelled. He went on to tickle Hix's stomach as Nina stared at the two proudly.
But suddenly, amidst all the festivities, the screen changed, revealing a young brown-haired woman wearing a "Gregminster Correctional Facility" suit.
"Hello," the woman said, simply. She glared as the entire group, from the audience to the admiral, gave the Jumbo-tron a blank stare. "I'm sorry to interrupt your air show of whacked-out war crapola and whiz-bang wingnuts, but you know… something's been bothering me lately…"
"Headaches from jet engines, right?" Nina answered.
"DRAGONS!" the woman sneered.
"Surely she's not talking about Anne McCaffery, is she?" Milia asked Futch, who were sitting on a pair of Dragons ready to fly for the second stunt wave. Futch shook his head.
The woman in the Jumbo-tron continued her anti-Brood spiel as Rei and Momo stared at one another. The three Flammies and their pilots returned, as all of them stared at the screen ominously.
"Uh… is that Alys Brangwin?" Rei asked, wondering whom the crazed woman behind the Jumbo-tron might be.
"No, she's sitting in the row below us!" Momo replied.
"Aeris Gainsborough?"
"No, she's sitting next to Alys!"
"I got it! Valeria!"
"She's sitting next to Aeris!"
Alys glared at the couple. "Are you talking about us!?"
"No, just Aerith," Rei answered.
"You meant Aeris," Momo told Rei.
"No, Aerith!"
"Are you talking about me!?" Aeris stated, staring at Momo and Rei in a similar fashion as Alys.
"No, Aerith!" Rei replied, hastily. "You’ve probably never heard of her, so just turn your pretty little head back around…" Rei trailed off just as Aeris turned her attention back to the subject at hand.
The woman made her closing argument. "Wouldn't it better if the Dragons were all annihilated like they were four centuries ago?"
"It's Elly Van Houten, if you wanted to know," Valeria told Rei.
"Elly!" Momo whispered to Rei, loudly. "She vowed revenge on all Dragons, especially Ryu and Teepo!"
Rei then made his reply to the Jumbo-tron. "GO BACK TO SOLARIS, PINKO!" Rei ranted, raising his fist in the air with animosity.
"But, you don't understand, Woren," Elly replied, coolly. She moved the camera, revealing the Knights of the Round Materia she had stolen. "If you don't hand over the dragons named Ryu and Teepo over to me, I will cast its Summon spell!"
The crowd gasped as Elly completed her demands. "You have two hours to make your decision." Elly then shut off the camera, leaving the Jumbo-tron picture blank.
Milia wiped her brow as she glanced at Futch. "Whew! At least it's not Thrash."
"Or Black," Futch added. "Such a good dragon…"
Before the crowd could panic, Elly went back on the air. "I think that Ryu had a son named… Hix. Bring him over to me, too!" Elly went back off the air, and the crowd finally regained the chance to panic. Air sirens wailed as the crowd shoved each other off the bleachers, attempting to get as far away from Elly as possible, wherever she may be.
Ryu and Teepo ducked low as everyone split up and went every possible direction. "Okay, okay!" Momo yelled. "Everyone, just calm down! Just calm down! Get off the bleachers in a safe and orderly fashion!"
"Momo, you're hitting my heels and knocking off my boots!" Nina yelled, as she tightly held onto her son.
"Screw the boots!" Momo yelled. "We're screwed if we get blown away!" As the crowd passed Luc and Lotte and their invention, Lotte's cat Mina jumped on Lotte's head as she tried to jump on Luc's. She failed and the three were nearly trampled by the crowd.
Mina hissed as Luc tried to activate his Wind Rune. But he couldn't break free, and the three ducked down until the crowd subsided.
After a trampling of the Kleptomaniac's Convention, the crowd mobbed toward the exit, charging toward Qlon.
"Stamp your hand for re-entry…" Qlon took out a stamp and a pad of ink, but everyone merely ran over him, exiting the entire naval base.
After Rei and Momo made their exit, Nina ducked down and hid in a bush. Didn't I remember finding that Elly character somewhere? And the dragons, of all people…?
Inside the parking lot, Ryu stopped as he loaded his son in the car. "Wait… where's Nina?"
"Maybe she wanted to see some Runes go off," Teepo replied. "And from that Solarian's threats, we'd better make ourselves scarce, if you know what I mean…"
"C'mon, let's find her!" Ryu blurted. He and Teepo ran back through the gates to he naval base.
Rei noticed the two Dragons re-enter just as the last of the visitors exited the base and the gates closed. He arrived too late just as he saw the gates close and lock, and with two guards standing guard.
"Hey! The warriors of destiny are in there!" Rei affirmed to the guard.
"And you should be VERY proud of the 108 Stars of Destiny!" the guard replied. "Twice!"
Luke got as close to 108 of the team together.
"Who are these 'Ryu' and 'Teepo' dragons?" Cleo asked.
"Beats me," Kasumi replied. "Don't we know that Hix guy?"
"He was abused by Tengaar," Flik replied. "Sexually. The Warrior's Village People helped convict her, but she escaped."
"Did your Village People end up singing?" Pahn asked.
"Yeah," Flik replied, morosely.
"Urk!" Pahn grunted. Luke walked up to his podium and addressed the crowd.
"We have a massive situation here," Luke said. "We have two hours to search the whole base for this Elly character, and to make things worse, we don't have all 108 people!
"Er, we don't NEED 108 people for this," Gremio replied.
"Well, we'll definitely succeed if we do have all 108 people," Luke answered.
"Logical, isn't it?" Gremio said, running off to join Pahn and his team.
Luke then spoke to the remainder of the crowd. "Okay, we have one hour and forty-five minutes left to find this Van Houten character, and I estimate that it will take one-and-a-half hours to search the entire base, which will mean when we're done, it’ll be high noon! And, as this is a state of emergency, unnecessary violence in the search has been approved!"
"So… what's the plan, anyway?" Gremio asked.
"Yeah. Don't EVER make me late for lunch!" Pahn added.
"You two and Camille will take the army soldiers and search the east wing. Camus and Miklotov will take the Matildan soldiers in this base and search the west wing. The Dragon riders will take to the skies, and we've already got amnesia-inducing people on twenty-four hour watch, so all cover-ups will be airtight and any paranormal activity dismissed! Including if Yuber or Odessa was the secret 109th star!"
"You're lucky that Flik ain't here," Pahn replied.
Out of nowhere, Alen and Grenseal walked right up to Luke. "Hey, what am I supposed to do, Young Master McDohl?"
"Secure the borders of the base!" Luke replied.
"Right!" Going opposite directions, Alen and Grenseal bonked heads with one another. The two then headed north.
Eileen walked up to Luke. "Young Master?"
"Wait down in the underground conference room!" Luke ordered.
"But that's thirty-six floors underground!" Eileen complained.
"Just do it!"
"Yes, Sir!" Eileen ran off.
Cleo and Kasumi then marched right up to Luke. "Young Master?"
Luke stared at them blankly. "Defend me!"
"Yes, Sir!" After saluting Luke, the two women stood guard, flanking the young leader of the Republic.
Finally, Marie marched up to Luke. "Young Master?"
"Diet Coke, no ice!" Luke ordered.
"Throw in a few Buffalo wings, too," Sonya added.
Luke then turned toward the crowd. "Now, let's move out!"
The first platoon started searching the port-a-potties around the base. One guard smashed open the door of the first portable bathroom with his sword. Nothing.
The second guard smashed open the second door. Nothing, again.
The third guard smashed open the third door. Out came the Warrior's Village's Hix and Tengaar. Hix's shirt was unbuttoned while Tengaar was barely dressed.
"What's the meaning of this!? Hix and I want a bit of privacy, dammit!" Tengaar ranted.
"Hix!? He's coming with us!" Before Hix could say anything, two guards grabbed his arms and dragged him away as Tengaar gaped in awe.
"You too, you little hussy!" A female guard snagged Tengaar's arms and dragged her along for the ride, too.
Alen and Grenseal walked along the eastern border, filled with battleships and hangars. "Try the hangars, I guess," Alen stated.
The two Toran high guards walked up to the nearest door. Grabbing opposite handles, the two pulled back the hangar doors, and peered inside.
Alen gaped at the massive squid, Abizboah. "Watch out! He's gonna trash the bath house… again!"
The two quickly slammed the door before the twenty-foot-tall squid could charge toward the exit.
"What bath house!?" Grenseal asked. "The nearest one is on the OTHER side of the base!"
"I already know that…"
"Thankfully, Viki just vanished, herself!"
Under several bomb shelters and remains of many ancient cities past, over thirty floors underground, little was going well in the Shasarazade underground conference room and Flame Spear shelter.
"Our Republic will NOT negotiate with terrorists!" Luke declared, slamming his fist on the glass conference table. "So, will the City-States of Jowston negotiate?"
Nanami gave Luke a defiant glare as Sonya gave her reply. "Don't worry, Young Master, we still have an hour left," Then, her anger quickly flared up. "And that damned Elly character is still laughing at us in her private hidey-hole!"
"Don't worry 'bout that! We'll find that nutcase faster than Garfield finds lasagna!" Pahn proclaimed.
Everyone gave Pahn blank stares. "Just saying!" He then grabbed one of Sonya's Buffalo wings and Luke's diet Coke as Cleo and Kasumi stood their guard. "Geez, you're as cold as the Final Fantasy main characters!"
In Sonya's naval base, Nina sat down on the extra-comfy Admiral's seat as she rummaged around the desk.
"Boy, did Elly sink their battleship! And their aircraft carrier and PT boat!" Nina commented, as she stared at Sonya's side of an unfinished Battleship game.
She then heard a knock on the door. "Come on in!"
The door opened. It was Ryu and Teepo. "What in Ladon are you doing!? You two have to get the hell outta here!" Ryu yelled.
"So do you! Elly wants both you and Teepo's ass on a platter! Ryu, let me try to find out what is going on!" Nina replied.
"This isn't a smuggling mission and it has nothing to do with Starbucks Coffee, either!" Ryu stated.
"Well, Elly smuggled herself on the base, and I'm a natural in smuggling situations!" Nina obviously had Ryu there.
"Good point," Teepo said, simply. "But let's go before the Admiral tears us up like a Culex, er Kleenex, at a snot party!"
"And ass-kicking doesn't count," Nina added. Teepo smiled.
"Bingo."
Luke stared at his watch as the seconds kept on ticking. Finally, Sonya entered the underground conference room with half a dozen guards.
"Elly blitzkrieged and drove herself outta the base! We have searched EVERY square inch of Shasarazade and all we could find is porno, porno, PORNO!" Sonya slapped three pornographic magazines on the massive glass table.
Luke realized that this was not at all good. "We have only thirty minutes left! Send in the other generals and the Lepant Family!" he declared.
Sonya opened the nearby door, allowing in the other five Republic generals - Valeria, Camille, Kasim, Kwanda, and Kai - and the Lepant Family - Lepant, Eileen, and their son Sheena.
As Lepant and Eileen made their way to their respective seats, Sheena suddenly stopped as he noticed the three porno mags. "Excellent! Now this is MY kind of meeting!" He opened it wide and paid all of his attention to the explicit content inside.
Sheena's father glared at him as he took his seat next to Camus and Sonya. The six generals took their seats around the massive, round, glass conference table. Milia and Futch took the remaining seats near Sheena.
"Find the dragons named Ryu, Teepo, or Hix yet?" Luke asked.
"No, sir," Joshua replied. "All dragons and Flammies accounted for, and no dragon by any of those names! Wasn't there a guy named 'Hix' back at the Warrior's Village?"
"Then, unfortunately… Ladies and gentlemen, we have to face up to the un-face-up-to-able… the Dragons must be sacrificed to save all the Toran Republic!" Luke stated.
"Wait, wait, wait!" Milia yelled, as if to stop the presses for the breaking news. "Let's not go nuts! Is it REALLY worth the trouble to sacrifice ALL of the dragons? I think… the survivors… would envy the dead!"
"I appreciate your behalf on your medium… but the Dragons must go!" Luke stated, sadly.
"And I'm going, too!" Milia jumped right out of her seat and marched out of the secret conference room.
"He said that the Dragons were gonna die, not Dragon riders," Cleo replied.
"I meant that I was leaving," Milia clarified.
After she took the elevator back to the surface, Luke announced an impromptu plan to eliminate all the Dragons. "Can you get Dr. Kervorkian on the line…?"
Back at the Dragon Rider's barracks, Milia merely ran around helpless as her comrades moved out all of the Dragon Riders' equipment for the removal of their division from the Liberation Army.
"No! Not the Beast Spear!" Milia yelled, as a soldier removed one of her favorite weapons out of her room. "They haven't made those weapons since the Brood War!"
A second soldier rolled out Milia's computer desk, with computer and all. "No! Not my SimaFort battle sims! How am I gonna be able to make fun of the Frog Clansmen!?"
The female Dragon Rider stared at her television, which, oddly enough, was still in her room. "…CNN evening news. One hundred years ago today, Lorima launched missiles at the Empire of the Mana World. And as the cycles would show, we have another multi-world crisis exactly one hundred years after that famed incident. A terrorist has threatened to wipe out Shasarazade with a 'Knights of the Round' Materia. While details are sketchy at best, she demanded to wipe out all of the Dragons. We also have unconfirmed reports that Ryu and Teepo of Windia have escaped…"
"WHAT!? We're gonna kill all the wrong Dragons!" Milia yelled. But an idea flared to her mind before her anger. "If I can get all of the Dragons out of the base… then she cannot negotiate! That should get me at least TWO Congressional Medals of Honor! And END the movie cliches of the EVER-invincible terrorist! Take THAT, Air Force One!"
Grabbing another spear and her backpack, Milia marched right out of the door.
Ryu, Teepo, and Nina ran across the naval base in their continuing search.
"C'mon! Rei and Momo must be worried sick!" Teepo yelled. He then heard footsteps. Instinctively, the three jumped behind a large bush.
It was Sonya and Flik. "You know what really crosses my Crimson Cape?" Sonya ranted. "After the Dragons are dead, Elly's still gonna ask us for gazillions more demands!"
"I'd rather go to go to Greenhill and marry Nina there than hear that drive-infested Solarian's stone-cold voice!" Flik proclaimed. The two then walked off.
"Nina!?" Ryu whispered, loudly. "What did you do in Greenhill?"
"That was ANOTHER Nina!" Nina stated. "And not one from a 'destined cycle'! And why else did I suggest we called our kid 'Hix'? Politics! Revenge!"
"Aw, forget it," Teepo replied. "Besides, I know where Elly's hiding!"
"You DO!?" Ryu and Nina yelled.
"Yeah! Follow me!" As Teepo jogged off, Ryu and Nina followed along.
The two passed the wrecked Kleptomaniac's Convention gazebo as Teepo continued. "When Elly made her speech, she seemed to be shivering quite a bit… Do you know that that means?"
"Her personality is as cold as Squall Leonheart?" Ryu replied.
"The environment in which she is in is cold!" Teepo answered. "Elly van Houten is hiding in the ice sculpture of Luke McDohl!"
Elly van Houten gave a concentrated stare at the television in her hiding place, as the television continued the evening news.
"…CNN just received word that to meet the terrorist's demands at Shesarazade, the Toran Republic president Luke McDohl has made a final plan to euthanize all of the Dragons of the Dragon's Den. This reflects the incident where an Imperial terrorist threatened to nuke Lorima at the Mana World after it launched missiles at the Empire one hundred years ago today…"
"Well, didn't plan to kill off ALL the dragons, but only three…" Elly commented to herself, "…Aw, DAMMIT! I should have made more demands! Like, possibly, the right to sue FASA Corporation for BattleTech, demolishing all their Gear rip-offs…"
Elly calmed down. "Maybe next time!" She continued to watch the television, which, suddenly, just fabricated quite a double-twist in its story.
"…and we just received more breaking news! Apparently, some woman by the name of Milia has kidnapped all of the Dragons, riding them off to points unknown! Though unconfirmed reports say that she is hiding just north of 'The Wall of the Republic (Not affiliated with Pink Floyd)'. We now broadcast her live…"
The television then switched to an amateurish video of Milia, while dozens of Dragons was in the background. "This here is Milia of the Dragon's Den, and the warrior with the most kills with my dragon Thrash! I'm here with ALL the Dragons of Shsarazade, and you left that pinko Vierge gear at home! What are you gonna do about THAT!?"
"NOOOO!" Elly yelled. "Milia!? That Dragon-riding bitch!?" She kicked the television in disgust, breaking it into a thousand fragments.
The Solarian stared at her Knights of the Round Materia. "And… to think that a MERE Knights of the Round Materia could shatter the scaled Cyclops!" Elly concentrated her arcane powers on the red orb. "If I'm going down, I'm taking the whole base WITH me!"
It was that very moment in which Ryu, Teepo, and Nina opened a trapdoor inside the statue, entering the very same room as Elly.
Teepo instantaneously noticed Elly's summoning action. "Hold it! Isn't that taking the ever-cliched easy way out?"
"I'm a hypocrite for trying!" Elly replied. Summon completed, the Ultimate End was in action…
…The Knights of the Round entered the fray, only to disintegrate into miniature piles of dust just milliseconds after entering the world. Elly's Materia merely crumbled in her hands.
She then read the disclaimer on one of the Materia fragments. "…Best used before October of the Jenova War… Elly, why did you have to live with the friggin' past!?" Elly whispered to herself.
Ryu, Teepo, and Nina attempted to run off, but Elly pointed out a gun. "Well, well, well… If it isn't Ryu and Teepo! And Nina, who I care less!"
"In the flesh, baby!" Ryu joked. "Plus the jacket and pants. But Nina isn't wearing pants…" Ryu made a hand gesture to Nina, who walked off, unbeknownst to Elly. The Light Dragon continued. "Guess being in the literature-heavy Xenogears world gives you those most unique ideas, don't they?"
"Don't give ME the cliched stall-the-villain-with-flattery crap!" Elly ranted. She aimed the gun again, tempted to squeeze the trigger.
"Nah, you're too smart for THAT. Xenogears made your story most unique," Teepo blankly commented. "By Ladon, you could have won a Pulitzer if your ideas were conveyed on a book!"
"Yeah, it should've been a book," Elly replied, disgusted toward herself and a seemingly wasted story. She lowered her aim as she continued. "Or a movie! Tell me, how many Academy Awards can I win off the damn Americans? Their cowboy-hero movies stink up the whole-"
"All right, it's over!" Outside, Luke McDohl and his crew surrounded the statue and aimed their guns right at it. "Come out of there with your hands, wings, tentacles, and ARMs up!"
"AAARGH!" Elly yelled. "How did they FIND me!?"
Not too far away, Flik was standing with a radio in hand. "Hey, this letter says, 'If you want to really avoid Nina of Greenhill, try hiding in the ice statue! It was signed, 'A Friend'. Did any of you write this? Oh yeah, great job catching Elly van Houten! Who might you three be?"
"I'm Ryu," Ryu stated. "This lavender-haired dude is Teepo. And the winged one is Nina!"
"Yup! I'm the one who wrote that letter and tossed it to you paper-airplane style!" Nina added.
"NINA!?" GET ME OUTTA HERE!" Flik ran off, smashing through one of the statue walls. The damage was just enough to shatter the statue and crumble it right down like a house of cards in a puff of wind. Amidst the confusion, Elly snagged Ryu, gun pointed to his head, and jogged off through the opening created by Flik. The statue crumbled right on top of McDohl's army, along with Nina and Teepo.
"She's getting away!" Nina yelled, under ten feet of ice. Elly shoved Ryu toward the nearest war machine.
"NO! Not the Maurader!" Sonya yelled, as Elly shoved Ryu in the cockpit of the Mech. "We have a war tomorrow against the Steiners!"
"Heh! Just like home!" Elly said, still with Ryu in tow. With the twist of a key, she turned the mech on, and the 80-foot-tall machine started walking… right into a wire fence. The machine tripped right over it, and crashed right on its front.
Guards surrounded the downed machine. However, as they searched the cockpit, the found that it was totally empty.
The group then heard the sounds of a chopper.
"Heeelp!" Ryu yelled, in the distance.
"No! Not the Tiny Bronco!" Sonya yelled.
"Damn… Cid Highwind’s gonna have my ass on a platter!" Luke added.
"Heeeelp!" Ryu yelled, as the plane flew at very low altitude at a mere three miles per hour.
Rei heard the voice just as he smashed down the gates with the car. He zoomed over the flat side of the one-way spikes just as the Tiny Bronco flew just over the car’s head, out the gate that Rei just opened.
"Don’t worry, Ryu, I’ll save you!" Rei backed up the car, and ended up popping the tires on the sharp side of the one-way spikes. The next second, Rei was driving on all four flats.
"DAMN!" Rei cursed. "Doesn’t that beat all?" Momo merely stared scatterbrained at the antique plane, which was slowly flying away.
"COME ON!" Rei yelled, practically shoving Momo in the front seat of the car.
Elly soliloquized as the plane made its floating flight along the street. "Ah, the days when aviation was for a lady and a gentleman… before every Joe Chocobo could wark himself behind a lunch tray and rocket off to Gold Saucer!"
"Don't feel hopeless about something inane like that!" Ryu replied. "There's always space travel!"
"You're too late about space travel, too, pal!" Elly stated.
"What about dragons? Few people ride Drag… whoops!"
Futch and Joshua were also airborne, each on a dragon straight from the Dragon’s Den.
Joshua turned on the two-way radio. "We’ve got Flammie 1 locking on target…" She then sped ever closer to the Tiny Bronco. "Bogey sighted…"
Speeding up to Mach 1, with Futch not that far behind, he readied the dragon for the attack.
"Okay, Flammie 1, Fox 2!" But just as Joshua's dragon fired a missile-like ice shot, the group was five miles past the Tiny Bronco. The dragon’s shot went toward nothingness.
"We lost our target!" Futch yelled in his radio. "Joshua… what do we do now?"
"Walk!" After returning to the naval base, the two Dragon riders began to hoof it.
Momo, Rei, and Nina, along with hundreds of Liberation Army soldiers, slowly walked in pursuit behind the Tiny Bronco.
"Doesn’t that just beat all!?" Rei yelled, honking the car’s horn at the marching soldiers behind him. "If I never brought the damned car, I would be saving Ryu at this second!"
"But you ARE saving Ryu at this moment, and about this car…" Momo replied. "Should I drive?"
"I’ll just use this car to get him, thank you very much!" Rei replied. He drove ahead, and zoomed toward the Tiny Bronco’s right flank.
Rei noticed Ryu still held at gunpoint by Elly. "Hey, Ryu!"
"What!?" Ryu yelled, at the Woren.
"Shaddup!" Elly raved.
Rei made a quick, impromptu plan. "Ryu! Jump down and I’ll catch you!"
Ryu apparently knew all about Rei’s never-working plans. "You sure you’ll catch me!?" Ryu replied.
"Trust me!" Rei yelled.
"Okay, here goes!" Ryu elbowed Elly, causing her to drop her gun. He ran to the right wing of the Tiny Bronco and tossed Rei his backpack. But Rei missed, and as the backpack hit the ground, Rei's car hit it, and the army tank behind the vehicle really crushed it.
Ryu stared at the flaming backpack in awe as Rei reached out the window to catch the Light Dragon. "Okay, now you, Ryu!"
"Uh…" Ryu jogged back to the center of the plane as the hundreds continued their continuous slow run, chasing the Tiny Bronco along the street.
Not too far from the Tiny Bronco, there was a massive police blockade, with Luke McDohl with the megaphone. "All right, NOW it's over! Surrender and hand over the blue-haired dude or you're gonna suffer a fate than a fate worse than death!"
"Yeah!" Ryu yelled, toward Elly. "If the shovels don't get you, the janitor mops definitely will!" Viktor, Flik, and about half a dozen other soldiers held up wood-and-steel shovels and nondescript janitor's mops.
"We're not going that way!" Elly suddenly shoved the control stick to the right, turning the Tiny Bronco a sudden ninety degrees. "You see… this is a kamikaze mission! You and I… are gonna kill that damned Dragon Rider, Milia! And ALL her dragons!"
"Doesn't that just beat all…" was all Ryu could say.
The plane continued its slow flight across the open field.
"You can't kill all the Dragons! By Ladon, your world is VERY similar to ours in terms of mortals fighting gods and whatnot!"
"GRRRR!" Elly growled, as she punched the speed of the Tiny Bronco another notch - which was still not very much.
Milia paced back and forth in the massive cave as the dozens of Dragons she rescued ogled her out of boredom. "Well… I left all my Anne McCaffery books back at the Dragon's Den, so I'm unable to read those 'Dragonriders of Pern' series books to all of you…"
The Dragons were about to groan as Milia thought about what to do. "Ever play Drakan for the PC? Or, here's an easy one: Advanced Dungeons and Dragons!"
Before anyone, or any beast, could reply, Milia heard the faint sounds of a helicopter. "What the hell is that? A lawn mower?"
Milia walked outside, only to find the Tiny Bronco Mark II flying right into her face!
"YAAAAH!" Milia yelled.
Ryu noticed the Dragon Rider. "Milia! Get the Dragons outta the way!" Ryu yelled, in desperation.
Milia sprinted right into the cave, and shrieked for all the Dragons to fly off. The Dragons flew through a hole on top of the cave, single file.
"Come on, come on!" Milia yelled. "Elly will knock you flat on your ass!" She impatiently waited, as the Dragons were flying out of the cave, apparently not breaking any speed records. The chopper sound grew louder and louder, as the Dragons muscled their way to safety.
As the final Dragon left the cave, Milia walked outside to prepare herself for a battle - only to find that the plane was still quite far away. She waited several more seconds as she polished her spear's blade with a cloth. "What is the friggin' hold-up!?"
"DIE, MILIA, DIE!" Elly screamed. Milia rose her spear in defense as the plane was only inches away from her face. The plane ran right into the spear, knocking the Tiny Bronco right down flat on its ass, and knocking both Ryu and Elly right on the ground.
Ryu ran off, but before Elly could, the convoy of Liberation Army soldiers, police cars, and MPs entered the location, along with Rei's car.
A tank followed not too far behind. Suddenly, it demolished the Tiny Bronco with its massive tank treads.
After the crunch, the hatch opened. Out popped Qlon. "Uh… sorry! We usually don't drive these things in the Liberation Army!"
Elly tried to make a break for the cave, but Futch caught her and cuffed her from behind. "Gotcha, ha ha, ya Dragon-hating mutant!"
Sonya pointed her index finger right into Elly's face. "What is YOUR major malfunction, Elly van Houten!?"
Nina jumped out of Rei's car and hugged Ryu tightly. "Ryu, I miss you, I miss you so!…" She then kissed Ryu continuously until he was able to speak.
"Nina, you're embarrassing me in front of the Liberation Army guys!" he squealed.
Elly was tossed in the back of the police car. "Isn't it ironic… I just attempted something so formulaic, so ridiculously simple… Any idiot with a pencil could write a novel or even an RPG with it!"
"Yeah, yeah," Half-ignoring Elly's words, Sonya slammed the police car door. The vehicle zoomed off, back to Gregminster with Elly in tow.
Ryu stared up in the bright, blue sky. "Well… that's all she wrote!"
"Elly didn't write anything!" Rei replied.
"I meant, 'that's all, folks!'" Ryu clarified.
"Already?" Nina then noticed Sonya walk up to her with a letter-like parcel. "Hope that's not a death threat again!"
Sonya planted the parcel right on Nina's palm. "One prompt parcel package, post-haste!"
Nina opened the parcel, and read it.
Nina… get those three Dragons as far away from Elly as possible until she is transferred out of the country. Signed, Sonya.
The Wyndian princess then gave a disgusted look at the group. "What the hell is your mail service up to? You're even more inefficient than those U.S. Postal Service schmucks!"
Back in the nearby PT boat in the nearby river, Viktor and Flik stared at the scene.
"You know, this reminds me of a nice folk song very frequently heard in the seas around the Toran Republic," Viktor stated.
"What song?" Flik asked.
"This one!" Pointing to the Warrior's Village People on a nearby surfaced sub, he gave out a command. "Hit it!"
The band began a song parody of the Village People's "In the Navy" as the people on both the submarine and the PT boat, save Flik, began to dance.
McDohl's Navy!
In the air and the sea!
McDohl's Navy!
Meet the Stars of Destiny!
McDohl's Navy!
You'll see 'em fight in Suiko 3!
McDohl's Navy!
McDohl's Navy…
The entire group sung as the submarine in which the Warrior's Village People were performing on began to dive. Soon enough, the five members were below the water. Bubbles began to surface.
All that remained of the Warrior's Village People on the water's surface was a bandanna, a cowboy hat, an Indian feathered cap, and a pair of blue jeans.
Inside the submarine, Tengaar perused the controls. "I love it when a plan comes together!"
"Are they all right?" Hix asked. "Think you'll see 'em play again?"
"Do you see any screen doors around here, Hix?" Tengaar commented, laughing.
"Hee hee hee," Krin laughed.
"Heh." Syndonia added, tersely.
* - Parsonics (located at Sussex, England) is Alan Parsons' company, where they design both Alan Parsons and Alan Parsons Project music, and also do creative consulting for other bands and music companies.
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