Squaresoft/Back to the Future Chapter 5
Erased From Existence
By Fred Delles
“Ohhhh… my head….” Crono didn’t even know what hit him. Was it a bad dream? Was it a forewarning for him to avoid Bugenhagen and Lucca’s inventions, just like Rude said back at Cosmo Canyon High?
Crono heard a sweet voice that almost sounded like his mother. “There, there now… You’ve been unconscious for six hours… “
“Yeah. I had a dream… that my friends built a time machine… and I traveled thirty years in the past, and met my father…” Crono whispered.
“Well, that was a nice dream, but you’re safe and sound back in good old 1967…”
Crono interrupted. “1967!? Whoooah!”
The lights came on. Crono recognized the woman… she resembled Tifa.
Crono started to speak. “You’re my… you’re my… Who are you?”
“I’m Tifa. Tifa Lockheart.”
Crono started, “Well, I’m, well, uh…“
Tifa remembered something. “You’re Calvin Klein! That’s what it said on your underwear!”
“Wait! I-“ Crono realized that his pants are off! “Yaargh! Where’s my pants!?”
“Well, they’re right here.” Tifa threw Crono his pants. Crono got up and put them on.
Crono continued. “Who took them off, anyway?”
“Aeris. She brought you in after Jenova-LIFE was destroyed.” Tifa said, sarcastically. “Thanks to you, she’s alive…”
Crono did not realize the significance of his intervention.
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The two went downstairs, where the whole crew, except Cid, were eating.
“Say, how’s my ‘patient’?” Aeris said.
“Uh… fine, I guess,” Tifa said, in a slight tone of dissent, one that Aeris didn’t notice. “Anyway, this is Calvin.” About half of the people waved hello.
“Say, aren’t ya gonna introduce us to him, foo’?” Barret said to Cloud.
“Well, all right,” Cloud replied. He pointed to a couple of three strange-looking people playing Scrabble. "This red-and-black guy is Vincent. The cat is Cait Sith. And this being is Nanaki.”
Crono recognized the cat-moogle and the wise, fiery beast. He walked up to the group.
“Say, I think I know you from somewhere… probably thirty years ahead of tomorrow?”
Nanaki and Cait Sith looked at each other as Vincent replied, “Yes, I’ve been in the darkness for that long…” Crono jerked back a bit as the vampire-like being spoke.
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Cloud introduced Crono to three other people. “This guy with the gun-arm is Barret, the short-haired one is Yuffie, and the pink-dressed beauty is Aeris.
“Aeris… I heard that name somewhere…” Crono tried to remember, but couldn’t put a finger on what she was.
Aeris interrupted, breaking Cloud’s train of thought. “You probably heard. I am the last of the Ancients… and we are out here exterminating Sephiroth!”
Yuffie glared at Aeris and interrupted rudely, “Yeah. And we’ll die of freezing and the sight of you every day!”
Crono turned to Yuffie with a touch of anger in his face. “Well…”
Yuffie angrily interrupted, ”What are you looking at, butthead!?”
Cloud started to gain anger. “Dammit, Yuffie! Can’t you be nice once in a while?”
Yuffie just wasn’t going to be happy this night. “I’m going to bed. Say hi to Cid for me…” Yuffie turned to the television, and flicked the on switch, and was displeased at what was on the station.
“We are finally in civilization and they have only ONE channel!? What dorks!” Yuffie took a quick glance at the television, then stomped up the stairs.
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Crono continued. “Listen, do you know where Bugenhagen is?”
Barret quickly thought, then replied, “Yeah. He’s in Professor Gast’s lab in 1622 Iceside Lane.”
“Iceside Lane? That’s supposed to be Roger Waters Drive!” Crono said. In 1994, the name of the lane was changed when a Pink Floyd addict became mayor of Icicle City.
“Who da hell’s Roger Waters!?” Barret replied, with an almost defiant glance.
“You’ll find out…” Crono said with a smile.
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Aeris took a look at the TV channel that Yuffie was pissed off at. She remembered the show.
“Hey, it’s Chocobo’s Mysterious Dungeon!” Aeris said, with ecstasy.
Crono realized the episode. “Yeah… I’ve seen it before! This is when Teioh dresses up as an astronaut and goes to space…”
Aeris interrupted. “What do you mean? It’s brand new!”
Crono started to speak. “Well, I saw it on a… rerun?”
Cait Sith faced the group. “What the heck’s a rerun?”
Crono contemplated his mistake. “Well… sorry. It’s just that… well… from another time-“ Crono felt that he just made another mishap.
“What on the Planet do you mean ‘thirty years from today’, anyway?” Nanaki said, with a bit of puzzlement in his face.
“Yeah. Do you know about this darkness?” Vincent added.
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Crono realized that if he continued talking, he might blurt out details of the future. He concluded spasmodically with a “Well, it’s nice to see you guys. All of you are swell, and I must be going now…” As Crono was talking, he backed out the door.
The group stared at each other. Tifa unceremoniously continued. “He’s a strange man…”
Barret interrupted. “He’s a jackass. Comes from upbringing. His parents are probably jackasses, too.” He looked at Cloud and Tifa. “If either of you have a kid like that, I’ll blast the stuffing out of ya! I swear!”
Cait Sith, Nanaki, and Vincent turned to their Scrabble game.
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Crono kept on running along the block across the “podunk” city of Icicle, looking for all the answers to this mess. He ran toward Roger Waters Drive… at least, Iceside Lane in this time of day.
Crono went to the first house, the largest of the group. It was 1622 Iceside Lane. He walked to the porch, taking care not to slip… again.
He then rang the doorbell and waited a moment.
Nothing.
Crono knocked on the door and waited another moment.
Nothing again. Crono turned around and took a couple of steps away… and he heard the door open and close. Crono then turned around and realized that it was Bugenhagen.
Crono then jogged to the door. To his surprise, a hand opened the door, grabbed Crono’s forearm, and dragged him in.
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“Bugenhagen!” Crono yelled. “I just-“
Bugenhagen interrupted with a hurried tone. “Don’t say anything! Don’t tell me who you are or where you came from!”
The legless elder then floated to a strange device resembling an early tape-reading computer. He then snatched a plunger and jabbed it in the middle of Crono’s forehead.
“Now this will only take a little while…” Bugenhagen said as he adjusted the various knobs and dials on the strange machine. He placed a geodesic half-sphere filled with wiring on his head and flicked on a green switch.
“Uh… listen-“ Crono couldn’t even finish a sentence with Bugenhagen rushing around with his “spur-of-the-moment” experiment.
“Quiet!” Bugenhagen snapped.
Crono couldn’t take it. “Bugenhagen! My name is Crono-“ Bugenhagen started to irritate Crono, little by little.
“I told you I don’t want to know anything! I’m gonna read your thoughts…” Bugenhagen hit another switch, and the machine made another loud hum. “Now, let’s see… you’ve come from a great distance-“
It was Crono’s turn to interrupt. “Yes! I’ve come-“
Bugenhagen interrupted again. “No! Don’t SAY anything!” Bugenhagen turned another dial. “You… want me to buy a subscription to the Sunday Planet Post!”
Crono became increasingly impatient. “No!”
“Not a word! Not a word!” Bugenhagen replied loudly. He mused, “Let’s see… donations… donations…”
“Huh!?” Crono thought to himself. Bugenhagen was at it again, just like thirty years from now.
Bugenhagen though that he got it after turning half a dozen dials and firing up the heater. “You want me… to make a donation to the East SOLDIER Auxiliary?”
Crono has had it. He popped off the plunger on his head with a forceful yank. “Hey! I’m from the future… I came here from a time machine you built!” Crono took another breath to calm himself down after all the chaos he was experiencing. “And… I need your help to get back to the year 1997!”
Bugenhagen shook his head and smiled at Crono’s strange predicament. “Do you know what this means!?” He was almost laughing as he spoke.
Crono looked up at him, eager for any answer. “What? What!?”
Bugenhagen then made a very frustrating face and looked at the thought-reading machine. “It means… that this damn thing doesn’t work!” Bugenhagen slammed the geodesic helmet on the machine. He gestured as if he wanted to kick the machine out of submission. However, he had no legs.
“But wait, Bugenhagen! You gotta help me here! I came here from a time machine you invented! Now… I need your help to get back to the year 1997!”
Bugenhagen stared at Crono. “Time machine? I didn’t invent any time machine!”
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Crono needed some way to persuade Bugenhagen that he wasn’t a nutball or anything similar. He whipped out his wallet from his pocket and showed his driver’s license to the skeptic elder.
“Now, see here. I’ll prove it to you. Look at my driver’s license…” Crono moved the picture toward Bugenhagen’s face. “Look. It expires 1999!”
Bugenhagen’s expression showed Crono that he wasn’t buying it.
Crono took another lead by taking a picture out of his wallet. “How about this? My sister Faris! Look at her sweatshirt! It reads, ‘Class of 1996!’“
Bugenhagen was still puzzled, and didn’t want to believe Crono for a second. “Look at that guy’s hair…” he said as he pointed at Locke. “Pretty mediocre photographic fakery… your brother’s hair seems to be cut off.”
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Crono felt a ton of anger seething through him as his words didn’t even nudge Bugenhagen. “You gotta believe me, Bugenhagen! You just gotta!”
Bugenhagen had a change of heart and thought that even red-haired maniacs deserve a chance. “So… tell me, future boy, who is president in the year 1997?”
Crono’s eyes lit up. “Simple! Reno!”
Bugenhagen almost had a heart attack when he heard Crono’s answer. “Reno!? The red-haired Turk!?” Bugenhagen grabbed a bunch of scrolls of paper and floated outside. Crono rushed behind him as he was ranting and raving.
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“And I guess that Rufus is vice president! Just like a couple of weeks ago! Let me guess, future boy… will there be an assassination in your time? Will Elena be the First Lady!?”
Crono was breathing heavily chasing Bugenhagen as he made his way to the shed. “Wait! Bugenhagen!”
“And Palmer will be the secretary of treasury, really showing ‘filthy lucre!?’” Bugenhagen continued to rant and rave when he opened the door to the shed. Crono made it to the door, but it was to late.
“Look, you gotta listen to me!” Crono yelled as Bugenhagen was about to close the door.
“I’ve had enough practical jokes for one evening. Good night, future boy!” Bugenhagen sank his last words in Crono as he slammed the door.
Crono desperately tried to speak. “No! Wait, Bugenhagen! I know just what you did! You were messing around thinking of a way to increase Nanaki’s morale, and accidentally dropped Silver Materia in a Lifestream experiment… and that… makes… time travel… possible…” Crono found it hard to talk from all the running he did in the couple of days he was in the past.
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Crono was about to turn around and leave. Suddenly, he saw a flash of light. He turned around… and it was Bugenhagen, with a puzzled look in his face.
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End of Chapter 5
Watch for Chapter 6 - Not on Cloud Nine, coming soon!
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Nitpickings:
Sorry to keep you waiting. Writer’s block and the college workload kept me behind for quite some time.
The title’s not perfect, as I was supposed to toss a lot more on this chapter. But I had to send this right now, to avoid keeping you waiting. The next scene after the end of the chapter will tell about the “erased from existence” part.
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