Final Fantasy Simpson Chapter 1

The Coming of Homer

By Geode

"You’ll have to jump!" Bart shouted to his father. The huge void continued to grow even as he spoke. Parts of the dimension tore apart and were pulled into the hole. Homer glanced down into the hole and across the large gap.

"Piece of cake son," Homer said assuring him. He nodded and took a few steps and prepared to jump. Homer leapt into the air only to lift off the air and fall into the void. Homer cried out as he fell. "Crap crap crap crap crap crap crap…" Homer cried. His body dissociated and disintegrated. Bart watched in horror as his father disappeared and he was pulled from the chaotic void.

Homer was pulled into a completely different dimension. In the episode, he entered our very own world! But, what if Homer had been pulled into another dimension. What if he had been pulled into the world of Final Fantasy VII. What would have changed? What would have happened to both worlds…?

Cloud’s eyes shine in the moonlight as he makes his way down the stairway to the inner sanctum of the city. Cid and Tifa quietly follow. Silence has set over the city, except for the background music. The team comes to a walkway of pillars. Cloud begins to head forward but then stops and gestures for his friends to stay. Cloud begins to step on the first pillar when he hears a crack and a pop from behind him. He turns around to see Cid wiping bubble gum from his face.

"Do you mind! This is a tense moment!" Cloud growled.

"Sorry… It was the only way I could hold off from smoking a cigarette!" Cid retaliated.

"Spit it out," Cloud demanded and Cloud held out his hand gesturing to the floor. Cid, not getting the gesture, spit the gum into Cloud’s hand.

"Ewww," Tifa moaned. Cid shrugged.

"What?" Cid demanded. Cloud tried to wipe the gum from his hand but had little success.

"I’ll just clean it later," Cloud groaned and continued across the pillars. He stepped forward into the altar. Aeris kneeled quietly praying. Cloud slowly walked forward. "Oh Aeris," Cloud murmured. "I better look my best." He was about to brush his hair back when he saw the gum.

"Damn gum," Cloud said under his breath. "I have to wipe it on something." Cloud looked around and then remembered his sword. "I’ll scrape it off!" Cloud reached back to get his sword, but he used the wrong hand. The sword stuck into his hand. "Err!" Cloud muttered. He began to swing the sword around in crazy motions to free the sword. Cloud put his other hand to the sword and tried to pry it off. That one stuck as well. "Arrggh!" Cloud growled a little louder. He swung the sword up and down to free it from his sticky hands. In the process, he nearly cut Aeris across the face. Of course, Aeris didn’t notice. Cloud got angry. "Cid! Look what you almost made me do!" Suddenly, the screen changes to a cut scene.

Aeris looks up from her praying and sees Cloud. A small smile spreads across her face. Suddenly, Sephiroth floats down from above and positions his sword to stab into Aeris’ chest. As suddenly as Sephiroth appeared, a bigger, fatter, figure appeared just above Sephiroth. The figure cried as he plunged to the ground. Sephiroth became distracted and missed his fatal blow. The sword wavered past Aeris and did no harm. Sephiroth, only looking at his miss for a second, turned back to the distraction. As he looked up, the figure fell onto Sephiroth.

"Acck!" Sephiroth groaned under the weight of the figure on top of him. His Masamune clinged to the floor.

"Oh my!" Tifa shouted as she rushed up to Cloud. Cid rushed quickly behind. "That thing crushed Sephiroth!" The man groaned and got up from Sephiroth. Cloud pulled Aeris away from Sephiroth and the man.

"It must be another Jenova… Uhh… This one is probably Jenova-FAT or Jenova-Over Weight or Jenova-Bloated," Cloud aimed his sword at the man.

"Owww…" the man groaned. "Where the hell is this?" the man whined as he looked around the city. Cid pulled out a piece of materia.

"He must be confused! Only cast magic!" Cid shouted. "Bolt 3!" The green piece of materia glowed dully. A blast of lighting shot down at the man.

"Huh?" Homer looked up as the bolt bashed into his stomach and deflected off. The lightning streaked off and hit Cid’s spear.

"Ahhh!" Cid cried as he dropped the spear. He rubbed his burned hands.

"He must Reflect on himself!" Cloud shouted. "I’ll hit him with a limit!" He rushed over to the man. "You die now Jenova!" The man scratched his head.

"I’m not…" Homer didn’t finish. Cloud lifted his sword.

"Climhazzard!" Cloud shouted. A pale wave of light flowed around him. He charged into the man with his sword. The blade sank into the man’s stomach. Cloud prepared to pull the sword out. "Urrggh!" Cloud moaned as he tried to pull the sword from the man’s stomach. "It won’t budge!" The man looked down at the sword and then at Cloud. He narrowed one of his huge eyes.

"Something tells me… That you’re trying to kill me…… Why you little!" the man shouted as he began to choke Cloud. Cloud gasped for air as he released his sword.

Meanwhile, Sephiroth clutched his chest and tried to regain his breath.

"Uhhh…" Sephiroth gasped. "Can’t kill Ancient now… I’ll put it on my "To Do" list tomorrow under "Reveal Cloud’s true identity." He gasped again and leapt into the air to only come crashing down in a thud. Sephiroth shook his head. He removed a comb with a piece of plastic wrapping on top of it. He held it up to his mouth and blew across the film. An eerie hovering sound emitted from the comb. Sephiroth slowly lifted off the ground. "Works like a charm!" Sephiroth spun around in the air and smashed into a building. He groaned and then flew off into the sky.

A few moments later, Cid and Tifa had wrestled the man away from Cloud and Aeris had removed the sword from his stomach. The man felt around his stomach. Cloud shook his head. He was seeing double of everything. After a moment, everything focused and he got back up to look at his adversary.

"OK Jenova! Wanna try this again?" Cloud said menacingly holding up his sword. Cid batted him across the back of his head with his hand.

"You #$@%! Why don’t figure out if he’s friend or foe first!" Cid shouted. The team all gazed at the man.

The fat, bald man stared from each person to the next. He scratched his back and began to gaze around the area. He snapped back to look at the team again and then began to gaze again.

"Well?" Aeris asked impatiently. The man woke from his daze.

"Oh, I’m um…" the man began.

(This is your first impression Homer, Make it a good one!) Homer’s mind shouted to himself.

"My name is Homer J. Simpson and I fell from the sky," Homer replied.

(Uhh… Could have been better.)

"Well…" Cloud replied, "It’s nice to… meet you. I’m Cloud, this is Aeris, Cid, and this is Tifa," Cloud gestured to everyone. Tifa stepped out from behind Cid. Homer locked a stare on Tifa. Tifa became uncomfortable from Homer’s half witted stare.

"So Homer… I guess you’re not with Sephiroth right?" Aeris asked. Homer didn’t change his gaze.

"HEY!" Cid shouted. Homer woke from his daze.

"What? What did I do?" Homer demanded.

"Are you a good guy or what?" Cid demanded. Homer thought for a moment.

"Hmm… What was the third choice again?" Homer asked. Cid slapped his forehead. His cigarette fell to the ground.

"He couldn’t be with Sephiroth. He doesn’t have the wits!" Cid commented as he lit a new cigarette. Aeris stepped forward.

"Don’t say that Cid! He saved my life!" Aeris defended Homer. "He probably just isn’t bright."

"Thank you," Homer replied. The group fell silent again. "So um… You guys wouldn’t know how to get back to Springfield would you?"


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