The Wizard Of Zozo

 By Geode

A picture comes up with Red XIII in black and white. He's stuck in the center of a logo. He stares bluntly at the audience.

"Growl…" Red XIII says plainly. Theme music cues up in the background.

It is the world of 1000 AD. The sun shines brightly upon the Black Omen. After a long, hard quest, the team is deep into the fated hour and are preparing to fight the parasite, Lavos. All seems to be going smoothly except for…

"Ayla not like this food!!" Ayla shouted and banged the table of Guardia castle with her fork and knife. Food from the table splattered all over. "Where is Tyrano Stew and Reptite Sandwich!" Marle, who was also at the table, ran over to calm her prehistoric friend.

"Don't worry Ayla, it's good," Marle tried to get her to eat something before throwing it at someone. Ayla didn't listen to Marle. She picked up a bowl and flung it across the room. The chef walked in, covered with sauce from the bowl.

"That does it!" the chef yelled. "I want that thing out!" A crowd was forming around the chef to support him. Marle quickly got between the group and Ayla.

"No, you can't!" Marle pleaded. "She's just not used to being here, that's all." The chef wiped the sauce from his face. A maid stepped forward.

"We can't have her do anymore damage princess," the maid explained, "She's brushed her teeth with every toothbrush in the castle, she slept in the king's bed, and she bit the mailman!" The crowd murmured in approval to getting rod of Ayla. Marle looked around for support. But not even Ayla was supporting her now. She was busy making a leaning tower with the plates. Marle gave up. There was no way she could stop them from kicking Ayla out.

"All right… Just give her the rest of the day please," Marle finally said. The crowd conferred for a second and then gave a nod. They left Marle and Ayla alone in the dining hall. The plates finally gave way and a huge crash followed.


Ayla had decided to finally take a nap after her dinner experience. Marle was outside on her balcony. She sighed and looked out at the Millenial Fair, which was still running for some reason, even though it was only supposed to last three days. A bark interrupted her thoughts. She turned around and saw her faithful dog, Interceptor.

"Oh, hello Interceptor," Marle walked over and patted Interceptor on the back. The dog barked again. Marle turned away from him and looked out into the afternoon sun. The Black Omen was the only thing in the sky that spoiled the mood. She frowned. "No one let's me do anything around here. Dad doesn't even approve of me saving the world! Sometimes I wish I could go out there without everyone else and be myself. (Song Cue)

"Somewhere over the Black Omen… Way up high… If Crono can use the Epoch… Of why the hell can't I!!" Marle stamped her foot and began to leave the window when suddenly Ayla burst through the door.

"Me want to sing too!" Ayla shouted. "O my hero… So far away now!!!!!!!!!!" Ayala sang in an out of tone voice. Interceptor began to howl. Ayla would have continued with the next wrong verse except she didn't have the chance. Suddenly, a gust of wind rushed through the room and threw Marle's things all over. The three stopped in their tracks.

"Gee… It's getting windy!" Marle called to Ayla. Marle looked out the window. A huge whirlwind had formed outside Guardia castle. "Oh my gosh!" Marle stepped away from the window. Suddenly, a man carrying a gigantic sword flew by in a motorbike called the Hardy Daytona. Then lightning filled the sky. Marle felt herself being pulled towards the window. Ayla felt it too.

"We getting sucked out by wind!" Ayla shouted. Then, a blue flash filled the window and a portal opened in the archway.

"A Gate?" Marle asked herself above the wind. Then Marle lost he footing and was heading for the portal. Interceptor and Ayla lunged after her. The team flew into the portal and the portal shut. Lavos' evil scream fills the room. The screen is filled with the THX audio logo.


Suddenly, Marle woke up from a horrible dream where her great great grandmother had married Frog. She looked around the landscape. It was surprisingly colorful. Wasn't everything black and white before? She couldn't remember. Ayla and Interceptor were waking up beside her. She got up from the ground and looked around the small town in which they were situated.

"Where we go? Ayla not know…" Ayla commented and got up beside Marle.

"We're definitely not in Kans… I mean Guardia anymore," Marle told Ayla. They then noticed a pink creature approaching them from the west. The creature floated down to meet the group. The creature morphed shapes and became a woman knight.

"Greetings, I am Terra, the good esper," Terra welcomed the team. "And I welcome you to Zozo!" A strange giggling came from the buildings behind her.

"What was that?" Marle asked cautiously. Terra glanced behind her.

"Oh, those are the residents of the town," Terra told her. People of the town began to file out from their houses.

"Why everyone hide?" Ayla asked plainly. Terra smiled.

"The evil witch, Zeal of the East was just here before you guys came and crushed her," Terra replied and gestured behind the group. A huge crater lay where a valley must have stood. Marle, who was trying to remember where she heard that name before, went over to inspect the terrain.

"It looks like Lavos crashed through here," Marle told Ayla. "Could he have through the gate…? And what time period is this anyway?" Marle looks back to Terra.

"I assure you miss, this is Zozo… not any time period," Terra looked at Marle strangely. Marle looked back at the crater and saw that two red shoes lay in the wrecked landscape. Marle went over and picked them up. "Received Red Shoes."

"Hmm… These are nice!" Marle commented. She inspected the shoes further.

"Those are the witches shoes, you should take them… They'll give you special power," Terra told Marle. "They're probably better than those sandals anyway." Marle looked down at her sandals.

"Yea… These did get annoying when I was traveling in ankle deep snow…" Marle commented. She wondered how logical it was just to find shoes lying in the midst of destruction and put them on. Marle removed threw her sandals away and equipped the Red Shoes. "These are nice." The citizens of the town began to file from their homes. Cid (FF7) walks out from a building smoking a cigarette.

"Hey! The $%#@^& witch is dead!" Cid shouts out. Cyan walks from another building.

"Tis true… The witch has been slaineth!" Cyan called. Then, numerous casts of Final Fantasy games, swarmed from the buildings.

"Ding Dong… the witch is dead!" Locke sang.

"Which old b***h?" Cid (FF7) called.

"The wicked one you stupid jerk!" Relm called back.

"Ding Dong, the wicked witch is deeeaaaddd!" Yuffie added.

"Sing it high!" Celes sang.

"Sing it high!" Gogo mimicked.

"……………," Vincent and Shadow sang in chorus.

"Sing it low!" Locke sang.

"The wicked witch is $#%@$^& dead!!!" Cid screamed out. Suddenly, a burst of smoke appeared in the center of the square. The crowd gasps. Shadow shrugs.

"Sorry… My fault," Shadow apologized. On the other side of the square, a woman in red stood tapping her foot.

"Thanks for ruining my entrance!!" the woman growled. The crowd has already wasted their gasp.

"Scarlet!" Terra growled. "I should have known you would have shown up!"

"Enough of this good guy #$@%! Where are those Red Shoes I let Zeal borrow," Scarlet muttered as she scanned the ground. "Hmmm… Level 32, HP ????… Ground is weak against… Hey! There are my shoes!" Scarlet cried and ran over to Marle. "Give me those back!"

"Don't do it Marle… She has no power here," Terra commented. Marle stepped away from the witch.

"But those are mine!" Scarlte whined. "Give them to me or I'll make you pay!" Terra prepared a spell.

"Scarlet, leave this place before I'm forced to cast a spell!" Terra warned. Scarlet looked up and scowled.

"Fine have it your way!" Scarlet said in frustration. "But I'll get those red shoes! You'll see! I'll get you… and you're little dog too!" Interceptor growled. Scarlet looked around to see if she had missed anyone. "Oh… And I'll definitely get the cave girl!" Scarlet started laughing again. She threw a smoke bomb down. It was a dud. "Oh shoot!" She whistled. (Shin-ra music cues up)

The Shin-ra helicopter flies overhead and drops a ladder. Scarlet grabs the ladder and throws a kiss. The helicopter quickly zooms off and crashes Scarlet into a tree.

"Damn you #%@^&!" Scarlet screamed as the helicopter raised higher up and flew on. Everone was stunned. Finally, Terra spoke to the awed crowd.

"Let us forget the evil witches visit and think about how Marle here killed Zeal!" Terra finally called out. The citizens cheered. The citizens, seeing it was there cue, arranged into groups. Terra led Marle, Ayla and Interceptor down the line of guilds. First, a group of pilots approached the team.

"We represent… #@$&! Damn helium!" Cid coughed. "Why did we have to blow up those stupid balloons!" He lit a cigarette. Setzer, Cid (FF4), Cid (FF5) and Mid waited impatiently. Cid dropped his cigarette and crushed it with his boot. "We represent the airship guild, the airship guild, yadayadayada… You get the %#^%@* picture!" Terra glared at him and continued on. They approached a group of mimics. Gogo, who was leading the group, lifted a sign. His/Her associates did the same.

"We represent the Mimicry Guild, the Mimicry Guild, the Mimicry Guild… we welcome you to Zozo!" all the signs read. Terra smiled and led them to the next guild. Locke, Yuffie, and Edge approached the team.

"We represent the thievery… " Yuffie began when Locke kicked her in the leg. "Oww… I mean the Treasure Hunter's Guild, the Treasure Hunter's Guild and we welcome you to Wutai!" Locke kicked her again. "I mean Zozo." Marle smiled and realized her pendant was suddenly missing. She looked to Yuffie who was studying it intently. Terra saw this and grabbed it from her hand. Yuffie sighed and turned her back. Terra handed it back to Marle. They then approached a sad looking group. Aeris, Tellah, and Galuf walked over to the team.

"We represent the dead character's guild…" Aeris said sadly. Galuf and Tellah nodded. Terra guided Marle, Ayla, and Interceptor. A group quickly assembled.

"We represent the Cid guild, the Cid guild, the Cid guild and we welcome you to Zozo!" Cid (FF7 shouted.) All the Cid's had gathered in the group. Cid (FF3), Cid (FF4), Cid (FF5), Cid (FF6), and Cid (FF7.) Terra was about to guide them forward when she realized someone was missing. Suddenly, Cait Sith, toppled down the street towards them. He fell to his face and them jumped to his feet. He brushed off his top hat and rearranged his single eyeglass.

"Hello! I'm the mayor of Zozo!" Cait Sith shouted from his megaphone. "Welcome to our quiet town! We are in great debt to you for defeating that evil Queen Zeal!" The crowd cheered. "Say, what do those shoes do to you? Do they cast safe or shell?" Terra poked him in the back. Cait Sith sighed and continued with the conversation. "All of the guilds wanted to show you are gratitude!" Cid (FF7) muttered something in the background. "We're a little smaller than usual because Scarlet has enslaved our Moogle and Chocobo guilds!"

"Oh… That's awful," Marle said shocked. Ayla looked puzzled.

"Me get back! Then we can have them for feast!" Ayla shouted. Cait Sith frowned.

"That would be very difficult, I'm afraid… They're in Scarlet's fortress," Cait Sith explained. While Marle pondered what to do next, Ayla decided to take matters into her own hands.

Ayla walked over and tapped Terra. Terra turned to face her. "Yes?"

"How we get back to home?" Ayla got right to the point. Terra looked around.

"Where did you come from?" Terra replied. Ayla thought for a moment.

"Many days after tomorrow?" Ayla tried a fancy phrase. Terra looked confused.

"I don't believe I could help you… But I know who could," Terra told Ayla. Marle suddenly became interested in the conversation.

"Who?" Marle asked.

"Why, the Wizard of Zozo could help you," Terra said.

"Where we find?!" Ayla roared. Interceptor barked. Cait Sith stepped forward.

"Why, you can follow the Lunar Path!" Cait Sith exclaimed.

"Follow the Lunar Path!" FuSoYa called from the crowd.

"Follow the Lunar Path!" Aeris called.

"Follow the Lunar Path, Follow the Lunar Path… Follow, Follow, Follow, Follow the Luanr Path!" everyone broke into a chorus. The chorus continues as they follow the bright Lunar Path. "…Follow, Follow, Follow the Lunar Path!… We're off to see the Wizard! The wonderful wizard of Zozo! If there was a wizard that was… this was the wizard that was… Because, Because, Because, BECAUSE!!!! Because of whatever he does… We're off to see the wizard… The wonderful wizard of Zozo!" The chorus fades into the background and Marle, Ayla and Interceptor begin their trip down the Lunar Path.


Marle huffed and puffed as they continued down the Lunar Path. Ayla was also very tired from the long walk.

"Boy, this is a long path… I wish there was a save point nearby," Marle groaned. She sat down on a fence. Ayla nodded.

"We not need save pond! We save right here!" Ayla shook her head. Marle looked around.

"I guess this is okay… I mean, we did sleep in the middle of the black omen," Marle finally decided. Marle sat down on a bed of grass and looked down at her shoes. "Besides, my feet haven't broken in these shoes yet." Ayla looked down at the shoes for a moment and then shrugged. She found a spot on the grass and lied down. Interceptor quickly joined her. Slowly, Marle drifted off to sleep.

Suddenly, Marle found herself in the middle of a cornfield. She looked around the field.

"If you build it… They will come… er… I mean… If you go there, he will join you…" a voice from the heavens seemed to call down to her. She looked around and suddenly saw a large figure hanging from a fence. Then, everything faded.

Marle suddenly jumped from her sleep. She gazed around. Ayla and Interceptor were busy yelling at something in the distance. Marle shook her head and got up from the grass. She realized her red shoes were missing. Marle examined her bare feet. Confused, Marle rushed over to where Ayla was yelling. Ayla stood there arguing with what looked like a scarecrow.

"What you mean? Pick way!?" Ayla said disgusted. She stood with Interceptor, wearing Marle's shoes, yelling at a man in a red cape. Straw streamed from parts of his outfit. The man looked down at them.

"You can try this way, or that way, or you can try both," the scarecrow said plainly. Ayla tapped her foot and growled.

"Me not understand what you say?!" Ayla shouted again. Marle rushed in to intervene.

"Hold on!" Marle shouted and waved her hands. She looked at Ayla and then to the scarecrow. She recognized the figure from her dream. "What's going on here!" Ayla pointed to the scarecrow.

"Me want to know where we go next so me ask straw guy! He tell me go everywhere! I not understand so Ayla get angry!" Ayla explained in her own sort of way. Marle looked to the scarecrow.

"You can talk?" Marle asked the scarecrow. The scarecrow nodded.

"………" the scarecrow looked down to Marle. Marle, still a little confused, tried another question.

"Where did you suggest we go with this fork in the road!" Marle asked politely. The scarecrow looked around.

"Maybe you should try going back the way you came… Or you could go one way and end up in the other," the scarecrow said. Marle looked even more confused.

"Why are you giving us these strange answers!!" Marle whined. The scarecrow looked at the ground.

"I'm sorry miss, I really can't be of any help because I have no brain… That is my sin…" Marle's jaw dropped and Ayla hit herself in the head.

"This guy worse than Crono!" Ayla said to Interceptor.

"Why don't you have a brain?" Marle asked inquisitively.

"Professor Hojo did something to me… Ever since, I've been like this… Without a mind," the scarcrow said in melancholy. Marle scratched her head.

"Maybe the wizard could help you…" Marle finally said. "Would you like to come with us?" The scarecrow thought for a minute.

"Hmm… This is much worse than the coffin… Yes, I would be happy to come with you so that I may redeem myself," the scarecrow said finally. "My name is Vincent Valentine…" Vincent told them. Marle and Ayla hopped over the fence and pulled Vincent down.

"Okay Vincent… You can come with us!" Marle said to her. Vincent brushed off his cape and followed them onto the Lunar Path.

"I wish I could be of more help… But my condition is terrible…" Song cue. "I could stomp on every enemy, crush every monster if I only had a brain!… I could beat every boss, and stop the Shin-ra if I only had a brain!" This continued on for the next few minutes until Vincent felt he was making an @$# out of himself.

"Shall we continue on?" Vincent asked.

"One moment… I just have to talk to my friend here," Marle gestured to Ayla. Marle led Ayla away from Vincent.

"Ummm Ayla… Why are you wearing my shoes!!?" Marle nearly shouted. Ayla blinked in confusion.

"You said you want broken. So Ayla will break for you!" Ayla explained what she though was a simple matter. Marle sighed.

"That's okay Ayla… Can I have my shoes back?" Marle told her. Ayla shook her head.

"No… Ayla said me would, so Ayla will! I make sure they broke!" Ayla said impatiently.

"But Ayla, I have to walk down the rest of Lunar Path barefoot!" Marle argued. Ayla shrugged still not understanding.

"Me not take long, just little while," Ayla quickly replied. Marle decided to stop arguing and continue on down the Lunar Path.

"I really wish I hadn't gotten rid of those sandals…" Marle finally muttered to herself. The group walked slowly down the Lunar Path. As they walked, a forest came into view on the right of the path. Ayla and Marle stopped to look at the forest. Luscious apples hung from branches on the tree.

"Gee… Now that I see those, I realize how hungry I really am!" Marle told Ayla. Her stomach growled. Ayla looked at a particularly big apple.

"Me get the apples!" Ayla shouted and jumped at the tree. She tugged on an apple dangling from a branch.

"Hey! Stop that!" a voice bellowed. Two eyes opened on the face of the tree and focused on Ayla. A branch swatted her away. "What do you think you're doing?!" Marle, who had gotten used to all the strange things happening, vouched for Ayla's sudden attack.

"I'm terribly sorry… We didn't realize you were… Alive!" Marle explained. "We were just hungry, that's all." The tree narrowed it's eyes.

"Well, these aren't your apples, so too bad!" the tree shouted. Two other trees seemed to wake up from their dormancy and also kept eyes on the team. Vincent ushered Marle and Ayla back.

"Let me try something…" Vincent whispered to Marle. He walked up to the trees. "Excuse me um… tree. What would you do if I did something like this…" Vincent called to the trees and quickly drew his gun. He fired at an apple and knocked it to the ground. He picked it up as it rolled towards him. The tree's eyes turned red in anger.

"What will I do!!" the tree roared. "Berserk!!!" Green rays shot around another tree. The tree uprooted itself from the ground. It roared and raked the ground with it's branches. Vincent's jaw dropped.

"I forgot that trees cast berserk…" Vincent murmured as he backed away. He began to fire on the approaching tree. Splinters of wood tore from the bark. The tree swiped at Vincent with it's huge claws. Marle quickly grasped her bow and fired a couple arrows at the approaching tree. Interceptor barked ferociously as the tree came closer.

"Me kill tree!" Ayla shouted. She leapt into the air and began to kick the tree. The tree stumbled backward after each succeeding kick. Vincent took another shot as the tree collapsed onto the ground. The other two trees looked at their fellow tree. They looked to other each other and became dormant again. Vincent walked over to the fallen tree and gathered up a few apples.

"This ought to do for now," Vincent said, handing each person an apple. The trees listened silently as the team went on their way.


The four continued on, Marle stopping every so often to ask rub her foot and ask Ayla when she would be done "breaking" her new shoes. Then the four came to a rather unusual site. A steel figure stood deep in the foliage on the side of the path. Interceptor noticed it first. Marle and Ayla immediately recognized the figure.

"Why? This is Robo!" Marle exclaimed. Ayla jumped with joy.

"Robo! You here too!" Ayla ran over and shook him. But, Robo remained still. Ayla backed away from him. "Robo, what wrong?" Marle looked over Robo.

"He doesn't seem to be running, like when we found him," Marle exclaimed. Marle looked over him. "Where is Lucca when you need her?" Suddenly, Interceptor came from the bushes with a small can. Marle took it from Interceptor and examined it.

"Gee… This looks like oil," Marle looked it over. She looked back to Robo. "I wonder if this might help." Marle squeezed some oil onto a part of Robo's arm. A horrible creaking sound came from Robo. He began to flex his arm. Robo's arm slowly took the oil from Marle's hand. He quickly applied it to his all of his joints. His body began to function normally again.

"G.. G.. Good Morning Mistress Marle," Robo exclaimed after looking around. Marle and Ayla smiled.

"Robo, you're back!" Marle hugged the robot. Robo chirped.

"Where have I gone?" Robo replied. Marle scratched her head.

"I was hoping that you could answer that," Marle told him.

"How you get here?" Ayla asked the robot.

"I don't recall that detail. I was back in the End of Time… and now I am here," Robo told her. Robo looked around and began walking down the path.

"Hey!" Marle called as he walked. Robo stopped and looked back at them.

"Why you go without Ayla and Marle!" Ayla called. Robo chirped and squeaked.

"It is my command to find where we are," Robo replied simply. Marle ran to him.

"Well, you could at least wait up! I thought you had emotions?" Marle exclaimed.

"Miss Marle, I am capable of emotions but… I am unable to comprehend what they really are… You see… I don't have a heart," Robo explained. Song cue. Robo begins to boot up a midi file.

"ERROR: Cannot find midi source file. Destination source is incorrect," Robo chirped after a moment.

"Well, we are better off," Vincent said. "Let's continue on."

"Oh, you won't be going any where…" a voice rang out. (Shin-ra theme cues up) The Shin-ra helicopter flies over and lands on top of a nearby cottage. Scarlet steps out of the helicopter.

"Scarlet!" Vincent exclaimed and drew his gun. Marle prepared her crossbow. Scarlet laughed at the sight.

"Good Day my friends… I still have some business with you," Scarlet motioned to Scarlet. Scarlet then looked to Ayla and saw she had the Red Shoes. "Oh! So you think you can confuse me? I'll show you!" Scarlet pointed at the group. "Fire 3!" A huge blast of flame swept towards them. Vincent held out a yellow piece materia.

"Big Guard!" Vincent shouted. Rays of light streamed over them and covered their bodies. The fire dulled as a pinkish field blocked the incoming heat. Scarlet stamped her foot.

"Curse you!" Scarlet screamed. Robo aimed his arm at Scarlet and his fist went soaring into the air. The fist made direct impact with Scarlet's face.

"Owww!" Scarlet screamed as she clutched her nose. "You stupid #&@$!" She rubbed her bruised face. "I'll deal with you and the slippers later!" She jumped back into the Shin-ra helicopter and took off. Vincent holstered his gun.

"Let's get a move on before we have to deal with her again," Vincent remarked. They quickly agreed and the team was off.


The team soon became covered in a deep lush forest. Marle and Ayla looked around cautiously in the dark forest. Interceptor seemed to always be on guard. Robo and Vincent also kept up their guard. Marle tore a stretch of vines blocking their way.

"What is this place?" Marle asked Vincent.

"This is the Ancient Forest… Fortunately, we won't have to deal any puzzles because we're taking the easy path," Vincent told the group.

"What live in jungle?" Ayla asked Vincent.

"Hmm… Probably Behemoths, and Dragons, and Imps," Vincent replied plainly.

"Behemoths, and Dragons, and Imps… Oh My!" Marle exclaimed.

"Behemoths, and Dragons, and Imps… Oh My?" Ayla mocked Marle.

"Behemoths, and Dragons, and Imps… Oh My," Robo stated.

"…………………………………………………" Vincent said with great emotion. Suddenly, Interceptor began to growl at something just ahead of them.

"Who's there?" Vincent called out. (Cosmo Canyon theme cues up)

"No one important…" a red lion remarked. He walked out from behind some brush. Marle stood in shock.

"He can talk!?" Marle exclaimed. Ayla looked wide eyed at the lion.

"Lion? Me get so we can eat!" Ayla leapt at the lion as Robo grabbed her from behind.

"It is unnecessary to promote violence in this fanfic," Robo stated. Vincent scowled.

"And flying… whoops, can't say that part yet," Vincent remarked but stopped from spoiling a part in the story.

"I am only passing by," the lion stated. He continued to walk past the group. Marle followed him.

"Hey wait! Could you help us?" Marle pleaded. The lion looked around.

"I can't help anyone… My father was a failure and therefore I am one," the lion stated.

"He seems to have very low self esteem," Robo chirped. Ayla snapped her fingers.

"Hey Marle! Why don't we ask wizzerd for self steam!" Ayla tried to reiterate what Robo said. Marle though over the proposition.

"Gee, this wizard must have no life if he has all this time to help us!" Marle thought out loud. "Mr. Lion… Please come with us!" The lion looked back.

"I will only come with you because it's in the script…" the lion stated bluntly, "My name is Nanaki AKA Red XIII, but you may call me Mr. Lion…"

"All right Mr. Lion… Let's continue," Vincent said snickering. Wait till I tell Cid about this joke, Vincent thought. They began to depart when Ayla stopped. They all turned to her.

"Hey, lion supposed to sing!" Ayla called. They all looked to Red XIII.

"I don't know any songs…" Red XIII stated and continued. Ayla rushed in front of him.

"You have to sing! Part of script!" Ayla commanded. Red XIII sighed. He coughed.

"You already sang the opera theme so…" Red XIII muttered. "Oh Magus Oh Magus… Your eyes shine like the stars yada yada yada…" Red XIII spit on the ground and continued on.


"So, they think they can scare me off do they!!!" Scarlet screeched at a moogle. Scarlet dabbed her nose with a wet towel. "Well, I'll show them!" She went over to the Shin-ra computer. A visual of the team came up on the monitor. "Oh no! They're nearing Emerald Weapon City!" Scarlet whined. "I can't let them continue!" She picked up an intercom radio. "My minions, cast Sleep across the field!" Instantly, three moogles appeared on the screen. Beating their small wings, they soared towards the field. They pointed to the team.

"Sleep!" the moogles squeaked. A moon appeared and began to make white dust fall on the team. Scarlet crossed her arms across her chest.

"That'll fix them!" Scarlet told herself.


"Ayla… What is this strange stuff?" Marle coughed. She started to become drowsy.

"Maybe it snow?" Ayla suggested, as she felt tired.

"This is some sort of spell," Vincent quickly said. "You must resist it!" Red XIII stopped in his tracks.

"I realize this is a bad sign but, I don't care," Red XIII said as he curled up on the ground.

"We must stop this substance from continuing to decrease our stamina," Robo chirped. Marle, Interceptor, and Ayla collapsed of exhaustion.

"What can we do… I don't have a Ribbon!" Vincent exclaimed. Robo clicked for a moment.

"I wish I could summon Unicorn right now," Robo chirped.

"We really need help…" Vincent told the robot. Suddenly Terra appeared in the sky above them.

"Time for a big Dispel," Terra looked over the witches work. "Dispel!" Huge black rays waved over the team. The snow faded into harmless flower petals. Scarlet's jaw dropped as she watched. Terra disappeared from the sky. Marle clutched her head as she regained consciousness. Interceptor and Red XIII also began to awaken.

"Oh damn, I thought all this #&*@ was a dream…" Red XIII moaned. Marle saw that Ayla was still asleep.

"Ahhh… Now's my chance to get my Red Shoes back!" Marle edged towards Ayla. As she laid a finger on the shoe, Ayla's eyes opened wide.

"Me not done breaking yet!" Ayla reminded Marle. Marle stamped her foot and stepped on a rock. She cried out and scowled.

"Let us hurry to Emerald Weapon City!" Vincent reminded them.

"Why there?" Marle asked.

"That is where the wizard resides…" Vincent stated.


The team slowly approached Emerald Weapon City.

"Wow, this is huge!" Marle remarked at the sight. Vincent chuckled.

"You're lucky! This place doesn't exist in the Japanese version of this fanfic… People who read that have to wait for Wizard of Zozo International," Vincent exclaimed. Marle seemed to get even more confused whenever anyone mentioned fanfic or this place. Vincent realized this and instantly shut up. The team approached the door. There was a notice on the door.

"Play the organ," Marle read the notice. "Hmm… That seems oddly familiar." Red XIII looked around the area.

"I see no organ in sight," Red XIII said.

"Maybe we have to play the Highwind theme," Robo suggested.

"Oh #%@& this, Let's just knock!" Vincent finally muttered. He ran over and knocked on the door. Instantly, Edgar appeared at the door.

"Who is it?" Edgar asked irritably. Then he saw Ayla and Marle. "Oh… I mean… How may I help you young ladies?" Edgar smiled.

"We'd like to get in and see the wizard," Marle told Edgar. Edgar mused for a second.

"Hmmm… I normally can't allow anyone into the Emerald Weapon City… But I'll make an exception for three reasons. One, I am captivated by your beauty… Second I…" Edgar got cut off.

"We don't have time for this!" Vincent finally added impatiently. "Let us in you sick idiot!" Vincent aimed his gun at Edgar. Drops of sweat formed on Edgar's forehead.

"Oh sure… Sorry. My vanity sometimes goes a little overboard," Edgar turned red. He disappeared and reappeared at the gate. "Okay! I need to see some identification before you can enter."

"We don't have any identification," Marle told the guard. Edgar looked shocked.

"No identification? Well then you can't enter! What do you think this is? The Shin-ra building?" Edgar laughed.

"Me have shoes!!" Ayla said. Edgar looked at them.

"Why! Those are the Red Shoes! I'm sorry… That's a chocobo of a different color. You can certainly come in!" Edgar said and gestured to come in. "Welcome to my kingdom."

"This isn't your kingdom!" another guard shouted. Edgar scowled at him.

"Shut up!" Edgar shouted back. The team filed into the extravagant green city.

"I shall personally lead you on a tour through the city," Edgar told the group.

"Are we gonna see the wizard now?" Marle asked.

"Not yet… First we shall get you cleaned up!" Edgar told the team. He gestured to a golden chocobo pulling a cart. "Hop on."

"This strange bird. Can Ayla eat?" Ayla asked hopefully. Edgar shook his head.

"This bird is the chocobo of a different color I was referring to!" Edgar said. The team slowly made their way through the city.

"Hey! The chocobo is purple now!" Marle remarked as they went on.

"Hmm… Different color. Can Ayla eat now?" Ayla continued to ask. The team eventually came to the inn. The chocobo was now black.

"We'll now get you all cleaned up!" Edgar said as he gestured to some servants of the city. He walked over to one of the female servants.

"You know… You can clean me up too," Edgar told her. She slapped him across the face. "Oww…" Each character was brought to a station. Vincent was brought to a makeup station to spruce up, against his will. Red XIII was brought to a barber salon, much against his will. Robo was brought to the neighborhood CompZozo to get upgraded. Interceptor was brought into a petshop for a flea bath, much against his will. Ayla and Marle were brought to a beauty salon.

"Scrub Scrub, brush, brush, bruuuuuussssshhhh…" Vincent shot the radio in the makeup area.

"That's %&@*(^ better," Vincent said putting away his gun.

After all was said and done. Most of the group probably didn't want the spruce up. Marle had managed to get some cheap imitation Emerald Slippers. It was wither that or Ruby Slippers. Suddenly in the sky, the Shin-ra plane flew into view. (Shin-ra theme cues up)

"Ha Ha Ha!" Scarlet screeched over her megaphone. The helicopter began to make a smoke message.

"Giiiiivvvveeee uuuupppp…" Vincent read.

"…Maaaarrrrlllleeee…?" Red XIII continued.

"Roihclem?" Robo said. Marle kicked him in the back. "Oh fatal exception OE error… Sorry. It says, "Give up Marle."

"Who's Marle?" the citizens began to ask.

"We must hurry to see the wizard!" Vincent said aloud. They quickly rushed to the wizard's hall.

"Hold back! Hold back!" Vicks and Wedge shouted. "No one gets to see the wizard!" The two imperial soldiers were busy keeping other citizens at bay.

"It's all over… Let's riot!" a citizen shouted. Vicks grabbed him and blasted him.

"No rioting today…" Vicks said to the other citizens. The mob dispersed leaving the team.

"Excuse me sirs, we need to see the wizard right away!" Marle asked the soldiers. The soldiers bother laughed.

"Are you kidding? No gets to see the wizard!" Wedge told her.

"Not even I have seen the wizard!" Vicks said.

"Then how do you know he's there you moron!" Vincent was tired of all these requoted lines.

"Ummm… Oh Just shut up! You can't see him!" Vicks said.

"But we've got the Red Shoes!" Marle told them. Vicks and Wedge looked down.

"So they are…" Wedge muttered. He whispered something to Wedge. Vicks nodded.

"What you say?" Ayla demanded.

"Nothing… We just thought your lion friend looks like Dennis Rodman… But that's besides the point… We'll inform the wizard's secretary immediately." They marched off. Vincent started laughing.

"I really hate being here…" Red XIII said aloud. Song cue. "I'm not going to sing!" Red XIII shouted. Song cues off. Times passed slowly where a song was supposed to be. Vicks and Wedge soon came back.

The soldiers soon returned.

"You can only see the wizard if you get the witch's necklace… He'll make an exception and see you," Vicks explained.

"That mean's we must go to the witch's castle," Robo chirped.

"The last place I'd want to go…" Marle murmured.

"Fine," Vincent told the men, "We shall get the necklace and return."


"This place is worse than the Ancient Forest," Marle said as she saw bats hanging from a tree.

"This is the Phantom Forest… The road to the castle and the home of the Phantom train," Vincent told the team. He pointed to a set of tracks. They continued on. A few seconds later. The Phantom Train zoomed by and collided with an Amtrack car.

The team came to a sign in the forest.

"I'd turn back if I were you…" Red XIII said allowed. "Well, I guess we should turn back."

"Oh no you don't," Vincent started. "You're coming too!"


"Hmm… So they think they can get by beautiful necklace? I'll see that their coming to my castle was a big mistake. Mog!" Scarlet screamed.

"Kupoyes?" Mog asked from the doorway.

"Rally your moogles and capture the girl with the shoes that I want!" Scarlet commanded. Mog nodded sadly.

"We'll see how you deal with this little set back!" Scarlet laughed. The moogles filed onto the castle's roof.

"Kupoppopo! Attack formation!" Mog squeaked. The moogles took off and formed an arrowhead formation. The moogles flew towards the forest with jet engine sound effects.


"Hey! What's that sound?" Marle asked. Suddenly the moogles burst through the trees.

"It's an ambush!" Robo clicked.

"Let's see these moogles in action!" Red XIII growled. "Cosmo Memory!" A red aura of light surrounded him. A huge fireball formed in the sky and smashed into the forest. The fireball unfortunately missed every target.

"Wind resistance is the problem," Robo chirped. One of the moogles grabbed Marle.

"Let go of me you… thing!" Marle screamed. She was lifted off the ground.

"Kupo kupino these shoes?" the moogle asked Mog.

"Ummm… Me think so kupo!" Mog commented. Another moogle managed to grab Interceptor.

"Me get moogles!" Ayla screamed. She jumped up and grabbed a moogle in the air. The moogle flipped his spear around and jabbed Ayla in the stomach. She clutched her chest and fell to the ground.

"Escape!" Mog shouted. The moogles took off back into the air with Interceptor and Marle. Harrier jet sound effects help the scene. Robo, Ayla, and Red XIII quickly brushed themselves off.

"Where's Vincent?" Robo asked. They looked and saw Vincent lying, dismembered, on the ground.

"Scarecrow dead!" Ayla shrieked.


"We have her your majesty," a moogle told Scarlet.

"Excellent… You have done well!" Scarlet laughed. She followed the moogle to a chamber with Marle and Interceptor being held captive. Scarlet looked over Marle.

"Wait a minute! You fools!!" Scarlet screamed. "She wasn't the one!" Scarlet got red with fury. She removed Marle's shoes and waved them at the moogle. "These are cheap imitations! Like the American FF7 figures. Errr… Bolt 2!!!" She pointed at a moogle. A bolt of light zapped him in the behind. He ran away in fear. "Well… At least I know they are coming for you! Guards get the dog!"

"No! Interceptor run!" Marle screamed. Interceptor bit his captor and began to run. He quickly turned and bit Scarlet in the butt.

"Oww! Get him!" Scarlet wailed. Interceptor quickly ran off. The moogles rushed after him but they crashed into each other.

"Ha! He got away!" Marle taunted Scarlet.

"You'll wish you were that dog in a moment you #%@&$! Take her to the dungeon and put her in the cell with… you know," Scarlet commanded the moogles. The moogles grabbed Marle and hauled her down to the dungeon. They quickly unlocked a cell and tossed her in. Marle looked around the cell. She noticed that someone else was in there with her.


"I am dead… This is my sin," Vincent babbled. Robo and Ayla continued to stuff Vincent back together. After a few more piles of straw, Vincent was back together.

"We must go on to the witch's castle," Vincent said after fixing himself.

"But how, we don't even know where the castle is!" Robo chirped. Then, Interceptor rushed out of the underbrush to the team.

"Interceptor. He lead us to %#&@*!" Ayla said defiantly.


"Who's there?" Marle asked backed up against the cage.

"The one who should be starring in this story," a voice said. The voice came from beyond a pale beam of moonlight.

"What?" Marle asked confused. The figure got up. Two barefeet stepped into the light. The figure continued to step forward. Marle then saw that the figure was a woman. A black miniskirt and a white tank top came into view.

"I should have been Dorothy in this fanfic with Cloud!" the woman raved. Her face came into the light. "But no, you had to mess everything up!"

"Mess everything up?" Marle was still confused. The woman grabbed Marle by her shoulder.

"I'm Tifa you fool! From Final Fantasy 7!" Tifa shouted. "I was going to be Dorothy until the author of this fanfic decided that you were a better choice!"

"I don't know what you're talking about!" Marle asked.

"Don't play dumb with me! I'll teach you to steal my part!" Tifa shouted. She kicked Marle in the chest.

"Oww! Hey!" Marle protested.

"I'm the one that should have been wearing the Red Shoes see!" Tifa said. She grabbed Marle's head and kicked her across the face. Then, Tifa suddenly became hysterical and began to cry. Marle went into deep thought.

"I wonder if this is a huge story being written by someone who is using characters from different rpg games… nah," Marle wondered.

"This doesn't seem like a castle at all…" Robo chirped. (Shin-ra theme cues up. Yep I'm really wearing this out)

"This is the Shin-ra building… This can only be Scarlet's castle," Vincent told the team. (Magus' theme cuts in) The team moved towards the main gates. Chocobo guards marched across the bridge.

"Wooheehoo, Heehooowooo… Wooheehoo, heehooowooo…" the chocobo guards chorused.

"How will we sneak past those guards?" Red XIII asked Vincent.

"We won't," Vincent said. He removed a purple piece of materia from his pocket. He tossed past the chocobos. They immediately chased after it.

"What was that stone?" Robo inquired.

"Chocobo Lure Materia. Come on let's hurry and find Marle!" Vincent urged the group on.


After a few moments, Tifa had explained the whole concept of Square and fanfiction. Despite the terrible realization that she was just a pawn in the game, Marle took it pretty well.

"Why are you so upset about me being the uhh… "main character" of this… "fanfic" was it?" Marle inquired. "I'm sure their were other characters that didn't get in it… like Butz, Lenna and Faris! They aren't here!" Someone whistled from across the room.

"We're here!" Butz shouted from another cell. They were busy playing cards. "We're waiting for Galuf or Cid (FF5) to save us." Marle went over to the hysterical Tifa.

"Let's find a way out of here!" Marle urged Tifa.

"It's hopeless," Tifa sobbed. "I'm doomed to be made fun of!" Suddenly, Vincent, Interceptor, Red XIII and Ayla rushed into the dungeon.

"Stand back!" Vincent shouted. Marle jumped back as Vincent shot the lock on the cage.

"Let us depart!" Robo told Marle. Vincent saw Tifa in the cell. Vincent put out his hand.

"Come with me if you want to live…" Vincent quoted. If he had to quote something, it might as well be good. Tifa looked at his hand for a moment and then took it. Red XIII stopped in front of Butz's cell.

"Hey guys, would you like to come with us?" Red XIII asked. Lenna looked up from her cards.

"Nah… We'll wait for Galuf, but thanks anyway," Lenna told Red XIII. The team rushed from the dungeon towards the Shin-ra elevator. Chocobo guards rushed into the team's path.

"Oh $#%@!" Vincent growled. Chocobo guards and moogles closed around them. Scarlet entered the crowd.

"Ah! Well if it isn’t my friends with the shoes! And my old $#@&* friend Tifa. I trust you'll hand them over if you want to live?" Scarlet asked laughing. Ayla looked over the situation and removed her shoes. She gave them to Marle.

"They fixed now…" Ayla said quickly. Marle looked down at the shoes.

"Not a chance Scarlet!" Marle shouted. Scarlet looked angry.

"Then I'll just have to do something evil!" Scarlet shouted. She raised her fist. "Fire 3!" A huge ball of flame formed in her hand. "Now, you will die… huh?" A sudden rush of water could be heard in the distance. A bell went off. The sprinkler system fired up and poured water down on the fire. "Oh no! My makeup… it's rubbing off! I'm.. I'm melting… MELTING. Oh what a world!" Scarlet screamed as she sank into the floor. Everyone looked down at the floor.

"The wicked witch of the west is dead!" Mog shouted.

"We didn't mean to…" Marle began.

"Oh, I meant it!" Vincent added.

"Hurray! The witch is dead!" another moogle added.

"Wooheehoo!" a chocobo chirped.

"We've done it," Robo told the team. Ayla reached into the mess of Scarlet and pulled out the necklace.

"And we have pretty necklace too!" Ayla told them.


"What do you mean the wizard won’t see us! We got his stupid necklace!" Vincent shouted.

"I'm sorry but, the wizard will only see one called Marle," Vicks said.

"I'm Marle! Haven't you been following the story?" Marle was getting used to this story idea.

"You're Marle!? Well why didn't you say so!" Wedge gestured down the hall. Vincent, Tifa, Red XIII, Interceptor, Marle and Ayla slowly walked down the hall. They entered a huge hall with two pillars of fire. A face appeared in the center of the flames.

"Who dares to disturb me?!" the face shouted. "The great wizard of Zozo!" Marle stepped forward.

"We do sir, we have defeated the wicked witch and brought the necklace you wanted," Marle told the wizard. She laid the necklace down on the floor.

"Hmmm… Very impressive," the face bellowed. Ayla tapped her foot.

"Well! When we go home!!?" Ayla shouted at the face.

"I'm sorry…" the face called, "But that isn't possible…"

"What? Not possible! Why the $#^% would you want to see us if you can't send Marle home?!" Vincent shouted. Interceptor began to slowly walk away from the group towards a curtain he saw moving. He rushed over and began sniffing the curtain. Interceptor began to growl and bark.

"No! Don't pat any attention to that person in the curtain!" the wizard shouted. Marle pulled back the curtain.

"Lucca!!" Marle and Ayla said in unison. Robo was also stunned.

"Umm… hello," Lucca said shyly.

"What's the meaning of this?" Vincent shouted and pointed his gun at her. Lucca raised her own gun.

"Enough with the gun Vincent," Tifa said as she put his gun down. Lucca sighed.

"I'm sorry guys. I didn’t mean to deceive you but… I didn't want to show my face without finding out a way to get home!"

"Lucca… You shouldn't put such a burden on yourself!" Marle told her friend.

"Well… I can't get us home but, I can help your friends!" Lucca said excitedly. She ran over to a box of equipment. She pulled something out for Vincent.

"Here you go," Lucca said as she handed a book to Vincent.

"Chicken Soup for the Sinned Soul… Hmm," Vincent opened the book. Lucca pulled out something and handed it to Red XIII.

"A picture of my father in battle… where'd you get this?" Red XIII asked.

"Some old man who says Hohohoho gave it to me," Lucca said. She pulled something else out and handed it to Tifa.

"A script for another fanfic! I'll start on this right away! And I don't get made fun of in it!" Tifa began looking through the fanfic.

"Well… That's it. I can't do anything else," Lucca told Ayla and Marle. Robo walked up to Lucca.

"Lucca, isn't it possible to open the same gate we used to get here?" Robo asked.

"Well… Yes, but we weren't brought here by a gate! Lavos did something which formed a gate," Lucca said.

"But, you see Lucca… I have the gate key!" Marle told Lucca. Lucca looked shocked.

"You do!" Lucca took the key and looked it over. "But we would still need a source of Lavos' energy to activate the gate." Terra suddenly appeared.

"Don't worry so much Lucca!" Terra told her. "You have energy from Lavos in the Dreamstone Marle is wearing." Marle looked around herself and then saw the shoes. Lucca examined them.

"They are Dreamstone and they do have Lavos' energy!" Lucca smiled. "I'll get started on a transferal of the energy right away."


After a long grueling effort done by Robo and Lucca, they managed to create a way to transfer the energy from the shoes to the gate key and therefore open the gate.

"Now Marle… All you have to do is tap the shoes three times! That will release the energy necessary to open the gates." Marle nodded. She turned to her friends. They were all standing in the center of Emerald Weapon City.

"Good bye Vincent… I'm glad you've learned not to blame yourself," Marle told Vincent.

"Thank you Marle, Lucca and Ayla. I am definitely changed," Vincent told the team.

"As am I," Red XIII nodded admiring his father's picture. Marle went over to Tifa.

"Good luck in your next fanfic Tifa!" Marle told her.

"Thanks… Sorry about back in the Shin-ra building…" Tifa apologized.

"Don’t worry about it," Marle replied. Marle walked over to Lucca.

"Let's go," Marle said. She tapped her shoes once, twice, thrice… Lucca raised the gate key. A huge blue portal opened in front of them.

"We must hurry before it closes!" Lucca shouted. Robo nodded and quickly entered with Interceptor. Ayla and Marle were about to step forward when Ayla saw the chocobo of different colors. It was green now.

"Oh boy! Now me eat!!!" Ayla leapt toward the chocobo.

"Wark?!" the chocobo yelped as it ran from Ayla.

"Ayla we have to go!" Marle screamed.

"Marle hurry!!" Lucca screamed as she entered the portal. Marle grabbed Ayla by the back and she pulled her toward the portal. The portal began to close.

"No… Don't close yet…" Marle screamed. The blue portal was nearly closed. Marle leapt for it. That's the last image she saw in Zozo.


Marle jumped from her bed. Crono, Lucca, Robo, Ayla, and Interceptor were around the bed.

"What happened?" Marle asked. She was very tired.

"You got a bump on the head from the storm," Crono said.

"But… Lucca you were there in Zozo, and so were you Ayla and you Robo!" Marle said.

"Just rest Marle… You're very tired…" Lucca told her. The team filed from the room. Mog watched from a window of Guardia Castle.

"Let's go boys! Mission accomplished!" Mog said. He put on black sunglasses. Three moogles nodded and put on their own sunglasses. Mog and the three moogles took off. Jet engines rear up in the background. The moogles fly into the sunset.


Greetings! I hope you enjoyed my newest fanfic! This one has been kept secret for a while because I thought it would be a good surprise. For everyone who heard about it early, this fanfic was codenamed, "????." If you have any questions, comments, or ideas, please e-mail me at

If you enjoyed my fanfic, come read my other stories at You can find my stories under fanfiction and satirical.


At this moment, I have three fanfics in the works…


When Abilities Collide… - A new satirical work!

Square Takes Over the Air Waves - A joint author work

The Quest for the White Materia - This is going to be different from normal fanfiction…

Wait and see!


Well, thanks for taking the time to read my fanfic!


Christopher La Bianca AKA Geode

Geode's Fanfiction