A Handful of Sand on the Shore
<Were almost there> Nonspecifically directed, self-assured declaration
<How many times have we imprinted him in total>? Earnest interrogative
<Too many times to avoid notice> Stalwart declaration, exasperation, and latent bitterness
<How long do you think it will take for the city officials to trace the power surges to this location>? Information interrogative and vestigial disgruntlement
<We still have time> Calm declaration, mutual reassurance, commiseration, and hope
Rinoa, curious about the distant yet crystal-clear voices, crept silently down the steps and peered through the bars under the railing.
Who in Terra is throwing a party in my basement at this ungodly hour? she wondered. She was more miffed at not being invited to attend than annoyed by the thought of strangers stepping taking liberties in her house. She spied two small luminescent dolls standing motionless in the center of the room. A soft blue light emanated from their jelly-like bodies, topped off by glowing yellow orb at the end of each of their heads.
She thought they were the cutest things shed ever seen. She wanted to gush over them, coo, dress them up, and play tea time. If they had been on sale at a choice department store in the Galbadia mall, she would have bought them because of their appealing cuddliness.
A second later she noticed the workbench next to the two intruders, crowded with many complex gadgets and advanced technology. In their midst, strapped helplessly to the table, was the General.
<>? Awareness and curiosity
<That wasnt you, was it>? Specifically directed interrogative and wishful thinking
<No> Apprehension-bordering discomfiture
<We have company> Declaration and bittersweet humor
<>! Sudden realization, shock, and apprehension
That was all she had to hear to know that they had detected her presence. Standing up, she boldly derelicted her cover.
Who are you people? she demanded to know.
<Unfortunate you had to see this> Patronization, affected sympathy, and imbedded threat
It suddenly dawned on Rinoa why she could hear them with such clarity though they did not make any visible effort to communicate with her.
Why are you inside my head? she cried at the frightening realization.
<Goodnight> Punchy retort and condescending dismissal
One of the beings had moved over to the table and grabbed what she prayed was a stun gun and not a limb-severing laser. Before she could move, it had aimed and shot her. The blast knocked her off her feet and out of consciousness before her limp body could roll the remainder of way down the steps.
<Holy Mother>! Panic
<That was unexpected> Declaration of mild annoyance
<Is there a contingency plan for this>? Specifically directed, information interrogative and anxiety
<At least we dont have to worry about fear of exposure anymore> Mitigating ludicrous assessment and humor
<Quiet>! Sudden expletive and flood of annoyance
<Am I interfering with your calculations, comrade>? Derisive rhetorical question
<Be constructive for once, please>! Brusque imperative directive and dismissal
< > Conceded tolerance and mocking patience
<What do we do now, QyQy>? Specifically directed interrogative and prepared deference
<We follow procedure> Facile declaration and hint directive
<Which is what>? Information interrogative and curiosity
<Annihilate them> Nonspecifically directed imperative directive and sharp apathy
< > Uncertainty, internal conflict, fading confidence, and resigned concession
<Annihilate them all> Specifically directed imperative directive and relentless affirmation
DIVISION 1: On the BREACH Terminus
* * ** *** ***** ********
If you didnt catch this in Setting 01, the syntactical structure might seem a bit weird at first glance, because I have a unique method of transcribing what the aliens are communicating.
The "stage directions" after each line they communicates are necessary, and they aren't stage directions; PuPu's alien clan does not communicate with their voices, only their thoughts. They don't have facial expressions either, which means to communicate elements such as sarcasm or emotion, I have to add the "stage directions" and, if you noticed, keep the emotion-denoting punctuation marks (question or exclamation) outside of the <brackets>.
In actuality, those "stage directions" are called the "pragmatics" of language. The words they actually "speak" are called the "semantics" of language. Because they aren't actually making any sounds with their mouths, I used <brackets> instead of "quotations" to indicate what they want to <communicate> with their thoughts. Also, throughout the rest of the story, thoughts are italicized and speech is unmodified. So what the aliens want to communicate show up <like this>.
However, even by including the pragmatics after the semantics, there is still no way I can differentiate for you which alien is which. If they did not greet each other when a third or fourth being waltzed in, or say their respective names in each line, we would have no idea who the addresser and addressee were for any given statement. That is the flaw of indirect narration, I'm afraid, and I will try to find was to rectify it.
I would appreciate your reviews for this chapter so I can see what you are thinking or feeling, so as better to go back and make corrections for other readers if I see that everyone is stumbling between the same two chapters. Also, if you catch any spelling or grammar mistakes, would you please notify me via email so that I may correct them as soon as possible? Thanks in advance.
Jeremy Chapter's Fanfiction