Hidden Pasts Chapter 9
By Katie Herdman
During the night, Squall dreamt. He dreamt again of his childhood, but this
time he was not afraid or confused, he was content.
*****
Yet
again at the orphanage, Squall and Andria sat on the beach. Andria was making
castles in the sand with her finger and he was staring at them, intrigued.
Seifer
then came along and wrecked them, and Andria started to shout at him. Eventually
he went after she threatened to turn him into a bug. Laughing and jeering
he ran away.
Andria
looked upset so Squall promised that next time he would rescue her and that
he would always protect her.
*****
Squall
awoke slowly. For a second he didn’t know where he was, it
wasn’t his room, then he realised that he was in Andria’s room.
It was not quite dawn yet.
Andria
slept beside him, nestled into him. Her hand lay on his chest, next to his
heart. Suddenly it hit him, the guilt of what he had done.
Climbing
out of bed slowly and quietly so he didn’t disturb him, Squall picked
up his discarded clothes and started to put them on.
He
felt terrible; first he had betrayed Rinoa by sleeping with Andria, now he
was betraying her by leaving like this. Neither of them deserved what he
was doing. Looking once more he pulled the sheets over her naked shoulders
and left.
*****
Squall walked quickly back to his room, he didn’t want to meet
anyone on the way and have to explain himself, but… Seifer turned up,
right on time.
“Not
as good as Rinoa was she. Is that why you’re sneaking back?”
Squall
was amazed and angry, how had Seifer known.
“Don’t
worry Squally boy, you’re secret’s safe with me.”
Seifer’s
smug smile broadened when he saw the hatred on Squall’s face.
“You
old stud,” he said and walked away, a spring in his step for the first
time in a while.
“Happy?”
asked Fujin when she saw Seifer coming. He was smiling a lot, which was something
he hadn’t done in a long time.
“Yes,”
he said.
“Why?”
“I
just found out something really funny.”
*****
Andria woke up from a deep sleep. It had been a long time since she
had slept so well. She saw the empty space beside her and remembered the
betrayal she had made.
Andria
hadn’t liked Rinoa from the start, but she didn’t deserve this.
What had she been thinking when she asked Squall to stay with her.
Andria climbed out of bed and started putting her clothes on. It was late
and people would be wondering where she was.
Buttoning
up her shirt, Andria noticed Squall’s gloves lying just under the bed.
She
picked them up and looked at them. He must have left in a hurry if he had
left them. Maybe he had wanted to get away from her.
Andria
picked up her black jacket and slipped the gloves into the pocket. She then
put on the coat. She had to find Squall. Picking up her crossbow, she
left.
*****
Squall was in his room, thinking about last
night when Rinoa knocked.
“Can
I come in,” she asked.
He
was so confused about everything, what he felt for Rinoa and his past with
Andria. Maybe he should tell Rinoa everything. No, that would break
her heart.
“I
thought we should talk, because we haven’t done that in a while and
Squall, I know you hate talking and all you’ll say is `…whatever`,
but you’ve seemed so distant lately, like you’re, drifting away.”
Rinoa
sat down next to him she was upset. It was like he had been there with her,
but he wasn’t, like there was something else on his mind. Rinoa would
have given anything to know what it was.
“…Is
there…something…wrong,” he asked, afraid she knew his secret.
Maybe she shouldn’t know just yet. Now wasn’t a good time.
“Yes.
Squall, please talk to me, tell me what’s on your mind, anything.
Please.”
Rinoa
said those words with so much desperation that Squall almost blurted out
everything. It was all he could think of. At the last moment he managed to
suppress the words that he could feel forming on his lips.
Rinoa
started to sob and Squall hugged her, pulling her close to
him.
“Hi,
I’m not interrupting, am I?”
Andria
stepped into the room, the crossbow hung over her shoulder.
She
looked at Rinoa who tried to make it seem she hadn’t been crying, and
thought that in a second Rinoa knew and was going to shout at her and call
her all names under the sun, but she didn’t and Andria breathed a sigh
of relief.
“I’ll
leave if you want,” Andria said, wanting to make a quick exit away from
Squall. It was a mistake to go find him. She could have asked Vincent to
give Squall his gloves back, and he would have without asking any questions.
“No,
it must be important. Squall, can we talk later.”
“Yes.”
Squall
nodded and kissed her goodbye. The kiss was awkward and Rinoa seemed surprised
at his display of affection, but she was pleased.
Squall
was trying to make a point to Andria, that his love for Rinoa was strong,
and Andria couldn’t break it.
“Here,
Squall,” Andria, said awkwardly.
She
gave him back his gloves. Squall stared at them.
“You
left them in my room.”
Seeing
he wasn’t going to take them from her, Andria put them on the bed.
“I
know you regret what happened, but can we at least…”
Andria
couldn’t finish. She realised that she would never forget and that something
had changed between them. This was why she had never gone for her dreams,
in case he rejected her.
“I…
I… still care… about you… Andria … but…”
Squall
couldn’t finish.
“I
know,” she said and walked away. Squall felt so alone so guilty, what
did he do now. His father had done something similar.
“No,”
Squall whispered, “I’m not like him.”
*****
“What do you want now,” Andria said to Sati as she walked
towards her.
Andria
was out on the balcony; it was her favourite place when she wanted to be
alone. She wasn’t happy that some one had invaded her
privacy.
Sati
stood and waited for her. There was an odd expression on her face.
When
she spoke, her voice quivered, “He will try to find you now Andria,
he needs you. The hour of the Ancient Ones is at hand. Both yours and
Leraikhe’s blood will bring enough energy to summon them from the depths
of the earth.”
Andria
just shrugged and said, “I know.”
“You
should read this.”
Sati
produced a book. It was old and the cover was made of leather. The pages
were yellow.
Opening
up a page Sati pointed to a section and Andria read it.
When
she had finished, Andria walked slowly to the side of the balcony and looked
out.
“What
can I do,” she whispered, “…if that’s what it says, then
I can’t argue with it, but I don’t believe in fate, it won’t
happen. I’m gonna fight right to the end, no matter
what.”
“You
can’t fight, Sati said, “you’ve hardly used your powers. How
do you expect to win if you can’t fight?”
“I
really don’t know… about anything anymore. All I know is that I’m
trying to stay alive.”
Andria
tried to hold back the tears. It was getting harder to do anything, she was
tired of fighting with no end in sight, only now she was being given that
end and suddenly she wasn’t so keen on taking it.
“Do
you know that that’s the first time I’ve read the prophecy, it’s
been kept hidden. Why didn’t you show me sooner
Sati?”
“I
did not know until recently, I am sorry that it’s bad news.” Andria
shrugged again, “it’s not your fault.”
“What
are you going to do now?”
“Call
a meeting.”
Andria
walked out of the balcony. Sati looked sorrowfully out over the Alcauld plains.
Clouds were starting to gather.
.