The Great Revenge Part 4

If You Played FF Tactics, This Might Be Familiar

By Limited Moon

::As we left, Cloud and Cid were fighting the Turks while Barret, accompanied by the popular Scooby Doo, finds a secret door after a...short...battle with Wedge::

::The Turks have confronted the party and Rude is drunk, and all is ready for the five to begin the battle::

::Cloud immediately begins an Omnislash, waves of light surround him, and he leaps at Reno. Rude does a Spark Bomb on Cid as Elena hits Cloud with a Turk Light, stopping the limit break, Cloud is blasted back by the impact and lands a couple of feet away dazed. Cid has no defense against the flurry of Spark Bombs Rude is sending him, all this to that drunken battle song::

::Meanwhile, Barret and Scooby enter the door, which leads into a lighted room...with a BOMB in it. A man in a hooded cloak is working on it, and hears Barret walk in. He turns toward Barret::

Man: Ah, a person unaffected by my ingenious virus, I have to fix that.

Barret: Who da hell be you?!

Man: ah, ebonics.

Scooby: Roinks!

::Scooby runs out the secret door, obviously frightened, but WHY?!::

Barret: Stop that damn voice already!

Man: It hasn't shut up yet.

Barret: Ya haven't answered my question.

Man: I am....

::The man flips off his....her?!! It turns out to be Aerith, with an evil grin on her face, lightning strikes::

Barret: Aerith?! All da captions be saying you a guy though.

Aerith: They are? ::looks at script:: Oh fiddlesticks.

Barret: Why you be doing this?

Aerith: Why? Why you ask?! Because I want REVENGE! ::cue lightning::

Barret: This is da middle of the sewers, why the hell is there lightning?!

Aerith: My special effects machine of course.

Barret: Uh, so we gonna stop you.

Aerith: Oh really. I thought of this ahead of time, and i've brought a friend.

::From behind Aerith comes a little boy, it's....Dennis the Menace::


Dennis: Hello Mr. Man! Hiya! How ya doin?! Whatcha doin?! Why're ya here?!


Dennis: Can I see that?!

::Back at the Turks battle, everything is interrupted by the PHS ringing, the fight immediately stops, Cloud grabs the reciever::

Cloud: Hello.


Cloud: It was fun, but I gotta go, Barret's in trouble.

Elena: Awww....I was having fun too.

Reno: Wet Blanket.

Rude: We have to fight again sometime, I feel so relaxed after beating my stress out on you people, it makes all my worries go away.

Cid: Dammit, you all almost killed me, and you want me to fight AGAIN?!

Cloud: i'll arrange some other time, I gotta go.

All the Turks: Bye, it's been fun, see ya.

::Cloud and Cid run off::

Rude: Well, now i'm bored.

Reno: I was having some real fun too....

Elena: Lets go to a bar or something, remember not to spike my milkshake this time, RUDE.

Rude: Well, I was drunk, I always do stuff like that.

::Meanwhile, Barret, still screaming, is being assaulted with annoying catch phrases by Dennis the Menace, when Cloud and Cid arrive::

Cloud: Aerith!

Aerith: So you found your way here....Cloud? Cloud! It's you!

::Aerith suddenly faints, and Dennis the Menace disappears, the scene before the last boss in FFTactics song plays....::

::A beam emanates from Aerith and a woman forms above her, it was...Donna Reed, queen of lame sitcoms....::

Barret: Whoa, it be Donna Reed!!

Cid: Did I miss somethin'?

Cloud: It's her....the evil one....

Donna Reed: NO, you made me lose control of her!!

Barret: So you da real culprit eh?

Donna Reed: Grrr....i'll try to reenter my new body again...

::A flash comes out from within Aerith, she is teleported to the other side of the room by a mysterious force, and gets up::

Aerith: Cloud, we must kill Donna Reed now!

Donna Reed: Are you trying to stop my ressurrection? Come my servants....

::four 60's teenage boys appear behind her::

Donna Reed: I wont let anyone stop my ressurrection!!!

::Transformation scene occurs, and Donna Reed turns into...Dontima::

Dontima: Prepare to die, my 60's bomb will destroy the world!

::Cloud, Cid, and Barret draw their weapons, Aerith draws hers as well. Dontima immediately begins her assault on the party with poison cakes, straight from the oven! The teenagers start to beat up on the party because they're different. Cloud's limit peaked and he unleashed a Cherry Blossom, annihilating the teenagers. Barret and Cid immediately went to work on Dontima, Cid boost jumped her and Barret comboed a Satellite Beam into it::

Barret: She's not even flinchin'!!!

Cid: What do....

::All of a sudden, the action stops, and so does everything else. A man in a tuxedo walks into the middle of the stopped action::

Man: We have a way to stop this fight instantly.

::Cloud is released from his suspension in the air and fall to the ground, he looks at the man::

Man: If you sir, invest $50 in this new "Evil spirit eraser", I will give it to you and you can end this fanfic.

Cloud: What does it do?

Man: Were you even listening?

Cloud: Yeah. Where do I sign.

Man: listen, just take it, i'll send you a bill.

::Man gives Cloud the eraser and walks off the battlefield, action immediately resumes from where it left off::

Cid: ....we do?!

Cloud: I have this.

::Hold up the eraser triumphantly::

Cid: Cloud, have you lost your $^#@$%$ mind?!

Dontima: What's that?

::Cloud throws the eraser at Dontima, Dontima screams when it connects and explodes in a beautiful bunch of special effects::

::Everything she did immediately disappears, and Cloud, Aerith, Cid, and Barret, are now standing in the middle of a water pumping factory::

Cloud: she's gone.

Cid: What the $#^^%$% did you do?!

Barret: Who cares, we be free from 60's sitcoms, yeah baybee!

Aerith: Cloud, I am glad you came when you did....

Tifa: HEY!!!

::Tifa runs in the room::

Tifa: Get away from him, he's mine!

Aerith: No, Cloud loves ME!

Tifa: Nope, he loved me first.

Aerith: He's mine!

Tifa: Mine!

Aerith: Mine!

Tifa: Mine!

Cid: ....shut the $^#$^$ up!!!

::and so, the terror Donna Reed inflicted is gone from the face of this earth, and the man turned out to be Aerith, so it was a Hermaphrodite! Yahoo!!::


Cloud: Cloud Strife
Cid: Cid Highwind
Barret: Barret Wallace
Aerith: Aerith Gainsborough
Tifa: Tifa Lockheart
Yuffe: Yuffie Kisarugi
Rufus: Rufus ShinRa
Cait Sith: Cait Sith
Scooby: Lassie the hunting dog
Reno: John Leguizamo
Rude: Mr. Clean (Shine your head for a quarter!)
Elena: Some random girl off the streets
Donna Reed: St. Ajora
Dontima: Altima

People from the 60's:
All those people from the 60's.

Plane: Harry the Wonder Plane

Writer: JHNWD/LimitedMoon

Characters and setting by: Squaresoft



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