Soft sunlight filtered in through the window, seeming to be carried by the sea breeze, and it gently touched the closed eyes of a beautiful, young woman. She slowly opened her eyes, feeling the warmth of the morning sun and the tickling touch of the wind. She watched the long, ethereal curtains dance in the breeze, giving the room a calm, serene look.
But the room was just a mask. The pillows were stained with the tears of many, painful nights, and this morning was no different. Every time she closed her eyes, there he was, most of the time right next her but other times just beyond her reach. The dreams sometimes comforted her broken heart because she would find herself in his arms. In the end though, when she had to leave that dream world, her tears would flow, and she would cry out to him to take her with him.
This night, Yuna saw something different. She saw him at Mount Gagazet, looking at the fayth cluster. He had not seen her, but she could see him, see his eyes and the worry in them. She had walked over to him and placed a soft hand on his shoulder. He had turned to her, still with that look of sadness, and then silently mouthed he was sorry. He then disappeared. She had collapsed at the base of the cluster, tears in her eyes.
Yuna wiped away a stray tear and continued to watch the curtains flutter in the wind, hugging the pillows under her head. She could just make out the deep blue waters of the ocean through her balcony doors, which were always open, no matter what time of day it was. By her request, she had this small, two-story house built just outside of the village on a cliff overlooking the water. She couldn’t let her friends or the people of the growing town see her the way she was. She was now an important figure among all the people of Spira. She must be strong for them.
But, she felt she was not. Yuna knew she wasn’t when she could not even get over the disappearance of her love. She told herself that most of the people would not understand the pain of her broken heart. The trueness of her love was so great that it made her pain harder to bear.
Yuna slowly folded back the covers of her four-post bed and walked toward the balcony. She let the curtains waft around her like her long, flowing nightgown. Stepping out onto the balcony, she looked over the ocean at the clear skies, the lapping waves, and the flocks of seagulls that flew overhead. She walked toward the edge and placed her hands on the railing, looking down at the gray cliffs below. Her short, brown hair flew into her eyes from the breeze. She had so many thoughts out on this balcony…
There was a call from the first floor.
“Yuna? You awake?”
Yuna slowly pushed herself up from the railing and walked back inside. She went over to the door and shouted downstairs.
“Yes, Wakka, I’m awake. Come on up.” She couldn’t mask the gloom in her voice.
Yuna walked from the door over to one of two padded, wooden chairs that sat in the corner of her room. The other was always reserved for the occasional visitor. There was a small table between them to serve as a place to sit items.
There was a shuffle of paper bags being put on the table downstairs, then the pounding of footsteps coming up the spiral staircase. The unmistakable tan head with the curled spike of orange hair and blue bandanna appeared at the top of the stairs. She met his soft, brown eyes, which were filled with concern every time he came here. Wakka was the one to always brighten a dark mood with his tropical accent, cheery smile, and light-hearted jokes, but he knew when to be serious.
He walked through the door and took a seat in the other chair. Sweat was on his brow, arms, and chest from his hike to Yuna’s house in the heat of the morning sun. He placed the blue and white blitzball that was tucked under his right arm next to the chair on the floor.
Wakka looked at Yuna. “How you feelin’?” he asked quietly.
“Okay, I guess…” she answered, trailing off, her gaze retreating to the scenery outside.
“You don’t sound ‘okay’,” he replied. “You havin’ those dreams again?”
A silent tear drifted down her cheek, but she quickly wiped it away. “Yes.”
“They’re about him, ya?”
“Could there be anything else I could dream about?” she snapped, glaring at him. Seeing the look of hurt on his face, she instantly regretted her tone, and her expression softened.
“I’m sorry Wakka,” she said quietly. “It’s just that… I don’t know how to explain this…”
“You don’t have to say anything if don’t want to,” he said, leaning forward and resting his elbows on his knees. “I understand.”
“No, I have to. This has to come out sooner or later. I can’t keep it bottled up inside for this long.”
He hesitated. “…What do you wanna tell me?” He looked up and gave a slight smile. “I’m your friend, ya? You can tell me anything.”
Yuna took a deep breath. “The dreams are about him as you know. Some are created out of my own imagination, where the backdrops of the dreams are from different parts of Spira, while others are from the more… intimate parts of my pilgrimage.”
She stared out the balcony doors again, her voice hollow. “Every morning, I wake up with tears in my eyes, knowing that I’ve lost him forever. The dreams are a painful reminder that he’s gone. I know this is ridiculous and I shouldn’t carry on like this, but… it’s so terrible Wakka! You don’t understand how much my heart aches. The love I had for him was true and I know it! We only knew each other for a short time, and that time was one the best parts of my life… I had found true love.
“Talking with the fayth at Bevelle, I knew something was wrong. He wouldn’t tell me. I know now that he didn’t want to break my heart. I love him for it, but now the pain is greater than it probably would have been if he had told me the truth. Then, he became nothing but a dream, like the dreams I have now.”
All the time she spoke, Wakka watched her and saw how much she truly hurt. She never talked about it much until now. He had seen her like this ever since Tidus had jumped off the airship and was never seen again. They thought that if they asked her about him she would break down, and they could not see her like that. Her pain no not only affected him, but it affected all of Besaid. At least one of them came by a day to make sure that she was all right.
He had an itching fear in the back of his mind though, something that scared him every time it came. He didn’t want to imagine what it would be like if her depression got worse, to the point where…
Wakka shook the thought from his mind.
“Yuna,” he began slowly, “I can’t say that I know how you feel because nuttin like this has ever happened to me before. The only thing that hit me hard was when Chappu left, ya know? My brother left to fight Sin, but he went against the Teachings. He left Lu behind, too. I knew Lu was hurt because she never wanted to talk about it… always wanted to drop the subject.”
Yuna looked at him. “She did love him, didn’t she?”
“Yeah, she hated to see him leave too. He was leavin’ behind someone he cared about, but it just wasn’t enough for him.” He punched the floor. “It was too late to let him know. He was already off to war wit the Crusaders. We both had a feelin’ that we weren’t gonna see him again.”
He looked at Yuna once more. “The one thing that made me angry wit Chappu at the time was that he sided wit the Al Bhed and used the machina. I have nuttin against them now, ya? But, now it makes me sad and angry that I never got to apologize to him for bein’ angry. All it was over was a sword… That’s in the past now, ya? I know he’s forgiven me.” He paused. “I was just worried about Lu.”
Yuna watched his expression change from anger, to sadness, and then to something she thought she would never see… love. A feeling of surprise went through her, but it did not show on her face. She felt something else come over her, something she couldn’t quite grasp right then.
Yuna needed to know. “Do you love her?” she asked.
The question startled Wakka out of his reverie. “What?”
“Do you love her?”
He stared hard at Yuna, almost in disbelief, and then the corner of his mouth lifted in a small smile.
“…Yeah.”
For once, after a week and half of sulking around her home and thinking about her dreams, Yuna smiled. She smiled at Wakka, knowing that one of her best friends had something special to look for in his life. And she was happy for him. The feeling of joy flooded through her body, reviving her.
Wakka was somewhat surprised to see a smile on her face, for he couldn’t remember the last time she had done that out of real happiness and not the false mask she would put on. There was something about that smile he knew that changed her outlook on things right then. He saw color flow into her cheeks, giving her pale complexion new life and vigor.
“Wakka, that’s wonderful!” Yuna said, her voice no longer hollow.
She stood up and walked over to his chair. He stood up, and she threw her arms around his neck. Still startled, he returned the embrace hesitantly. This is a big change! he thought. Wakka pulled out of the hug and looked into her eyes. He kept his hands on her shoulders.
“Look what happened to ya,” he whispered. “You were locked up inside your home for so long, you hadn’t heard anything wonderful to keep your spirits high. Just by hearin’ this one bita news, you look so much betta and so much happier.”
“…Yes,” Yuna replied, the realization hitting her. “I know now that there are more things in life to look forward to. You can’t fix the past; you must find new things in the present, look forward to them in the future and look toward the happy years you can create.”
Wakka smiled. “And I want you to know, Yuna, that we’re always here for ya. No matta what comes your way, we’ll be by your side. Through thick and thin, the good and the bad, ya?”
Yuna smiled again. What would I do without Wakka? “Yes… yes, through all those times, I know you’ll be there.”
They exchanged another warm embrace, and then Wakka bent down, picked up his blitzball, and waved good-bye as he walked down the spiral staircase. She heard the door shut, and then suddenly had an idea. She ran out onto the balcony and shouted after her friend as he opened the gate to the fence to start down the path.
“Wakka! I’ll be down to the village to see how things are coming along, okay?”
He looked up and replied with a smile, “We’ll be waiting for ya!”
“And thank you for what you’ve done!”
“No problem, ya? I’m glad you’re yourself again!”
He turned to leave, and Yuna watched him go until he disappeared into the forest back to the village. She looked out to the sea at the sparkling waters, and then she looked up into the sky. The breeze played with her hair and the hem of her nightgown.
“I know you wouldn’t want to see me like this, Tidus,” she said. The name felt weird on her tongue; she hadn’t spoken it in so long. “From now on, things will be different. I will cherish the good memories we have, and I will be happy when my friends talk about our journey.” She paused. Looking out to the horizon, she whispered, “I still love you.”