Love and Life Chapter 6
Reflections
By Medina
Cloud sat. He hadn’t been doing much for these last few days but sitting. Sitting and thinking. And worrying. Worrying about Tifa.
The day that she left, he was fine. He told himself that she would be back soon; all’s she needed was a little time to herself to blow off some steam, and she’d return to him -- she always came back to him. even when she had gotten hurt back at Nibelheim in the bridge incident, she came back to him. So Cloud had continued on in his daily routine of doing what he did now, which was really nothing. He had more Gil than almost any other man living had, so he could buy nearly anything that his heart desired. After everything with the Meteor ended, he had helped people in Mideel, Corel and Gongaga rebuild their towns, and sponsored the project in Junion to restore the old fishing trade. He had no more charity work to do, so now he was living at his Villa in Costa Del Sol.
By the third day of Tifa’s absence, Cloud was extremely bored. That evening, he took a walk out on the beach, trying to put together what was wrong. All of his friends were getting back to the lives that they had left before they joined with him against Sephiroth.
Yuffie returned to Wutai, back to her father and people. From what Cloud understood, she was still hunting for more materia all of the time, and apparently at her father’s bidding. She now held more power at Wutai, so when she wasn’t out materia-hunting, she was at the pagoda with all of the other masters of Wutai, fighting and responding to the ever-increasing people who challenged the pagoda. Wutai was back in business, with tons of tourists, thanks’s to Yuffie’s fame.
Barret had Marlene and Corel to attend to. Barret, instead of being considered one of the people who destroyed Corel, was now revered as it’s savior and star. He had helped rebuild the village with Cloud, and the people built him and Marlene their own house. Barret was now busy finding a good school for Marlene, who was to start in the fall. All of his previous worries about financial needs had disappeared in the same way Cloud’s had.
Cid was back as the Mayor of Rocket Town. He had brought the Highwind with him, and had it parked behind his house in the way that he had always parked the Tiny Bronco, which was quite a site. Shera still lived with him, and Cid, though he wouldn’t admit it to anyone, loved her with his whole heart.
Nanaki, of course, went back to Cosmo Canyon to guard it as his family had for generations before. Cait Sith was retired, and now Reeve, who evacuated Midgar with the Turks, lived as himself to the rest of them. He had settled down in Mideel and was very quiet now.
Now Vincent... where did Vincent spend his off time? Did he leave to sulk and ponder about the things that went wrong with his life? Or was he making a new life for himself in secret? Vincent was the only one whom Cloud wasn’t sure about; he never had been. Vincent, like Cloud himself, had lost everything he had to ShinRa, and now that even ShinRa was gone, he had nothing.
Cloud came to the conclusion that there was little left for him anymore. Everything and everyone that he loved was gone... the only thing that he had left from his past was the empty town of Nibelheim, his memories... and Tifa! The reason that Cloud had been able to live happily for the last few months before was the support of Tifa. She would often come to visit him, and they would go out and do something, anything. He missed her dearly now, he missed her smile and her voice, and the way that she had a tendency to fidget when they talked.
So now she was gone, all because of him. He couldn’t seem to get himself to let go of any of his reservations, his confusion. If only he could just make himself love her in the way that she deserved he’d do it in a heartbeat. Or would he? As Cloud sat in his contemplation he asked himself if he really was capable of loving Tifa, and it was just his own mind holding on to the memory of Aeris that was keeping them apart. Oh! He was just so confused... he had feelings for Tifa, but he wasn’t sure if it was love. He wanted to be with her, but he wasn’t sure if it was genuine or just a false feeling of obligation.
Nonetheless, he was completely worried about her, and could not get her out of his thoughts. Had he actually had something to do with himself, he might have put up a better fight against his feelings, but that was not the case. it was just him and his thoughts, hour after hour, day by day, his worry growing deeper and deeper. Finally, he snapped.
‘I’ve gotta go out and find her, but how?’ thought he, as he leapt up out of his easy-chair. He picked up his mighty Ultima Blade and strapped it to his back. He thrust his hands into his gloves, then walked to the door.
‘She’s out there somewhere... Maybe she’s found someone else already... damn it, I’ve gotta know... about her, about me... about us,’ he went outside and stood there, not knowing which path to take.
‘How to find her...! She was riding Boco! There are only 2 gold Chocos in the world -- one is her Boco, the other is my Wraith. I’ll just ask if anyone has seen a girl on a Gold Choco! I’ll find her in no time!’
Cloud proceeded to the chocobo stables and saddled Wraith up with some extra greens in the saddle bag. He mounted up and took the big bird out to the road.
“I’m going to find you, Tifa!” he said aloud as he spurred his mount on.
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