A Fanfic Reader's Worst Nightmare
The PipeGate to Truce

By Minmei

Hi there! Welcome to my first (and possibly last) crossover. For those of you with weak stomachs, please exit now to the right. What? You’re still here? You really are brave. Now, I suppose you’re wondering what this is all about, aren’t you? Well, continue reading this introduction to the SMRPG/CT crossover to find out, silly! You see, this is a totally twisted plot dreamt up by the demented soul that is me, filled with corny events, moments of confusion, and extremely uncalled-for comments. In plain English: Definitely not my typical story (yeah, right)! You sure you want to go on? Sigh…okay. It’s your decision. But beware, just because I write it doesn’t mean it has to make sense. In fact, that’s the humor of it, duh! And now…the crossover! We open to the setting of SMRPG, with Bowser in a very bad mood (BIG surprise):

The giant turtle was grumbling to himself. He had been kicked out of his own castle once again! Realizing that the forces had completely overpowered him, he headed towards the residence of the one person that could, maybe, help him get his home back again. But this was not something he was really looking forward to. Bowser sighed as he remembered the embarrassing events that had occurred, just moments ago…

Oh…aaarrgh!! F-flashback, flashback! Here comes a flashback!! Hold on to your seats, guys!…ooohh…

“I said, ‘shut your trap and leave me alone!’” Bowser snarled at the angry horde of shy guys who had gathered outside the front of his castle. They had arrived many weeks after the fall of Smithy, and were now threatening to break down the castle doors. Bowser was talking to them from the top of his keep. “No way, Bowser,” the leader of the pack, Shy Ranger, yelled upward. “After Smithy left, we were left without our homes. And now we want yours. So hand it over!” “What for?!” exploded the turtle. “Why don’t you stay at Mario’s place, or that Peach, Toadstool’s!” “No can do,” replied the Ranger coolly. “Those places couldn’t possibly hold all of us. And besides, out of Mario’s group, we hate you the most, and think you deserve to be homeless!”

Bowser glared down at the group. “Why you rotten little—”

Before he could finish his sentence, a sling shy aimed his slingshot up at Bowser, and with a pebble, popped the turtle right between the eyes. “Bulls-eye!” cheered the sling shy. “Ugh!” grunted Bowser. That one shot had knocked him out cold. Because he had been leaning so far over the edge talking to the shy guys, he lost his balance and fell right over! The shy pack quickly scattered to get out of Bowser’s path. The turtle landed on the bridge with a hard thud.

The masked group burst into cheers. “Come on, shysters!” beckoned the Shy Ranger. “Let’s knock this door down, and pronto!”

Turning towards the doors, the group began to summon their magic.

A short while later…

“Why isn’t it working?” whined the Shy Ranger. “I don’t understand.” “Wait, Leader,” said the sling shy. “Could this be our problem?” He shot a pebble at the doorstopper that was attached to the top of the doors. The switch was instantly knocked off, and the doors opened.

“Yaaaaaaaaaaaaay!!!” cheered the group. They rushed inside, quickly closing the door behind them.

Not too long afterward…

Bowser stirred and came to. His eyelids slowly opened, and he moaned in pain. “Ooohh, my head,” he mumbled. “No, wait, I mean, ooohh, my back. What has the shy-pack done to me?”

“We’ve done plenty to you, you turtle geek!” The amused voice of the Ranger shot down from above, and his words were followed by rounds of shy-giggling.

“Eh?!” Bowser tried scrambling to his feet, but seemed to be stuck in the position he was in. It was a hilarious sight to see the poor reptile trying to lift himself up, but instead, only rocking himself back and forth on his spiky-shelled back. His feeble attempts to stand up only made the shy guys laugh even harder. “Stop laughing at me!” roared Bowser, feeling very, very irritated. “Stop lau—”

He finally got up. He turned around, and lifted his head at them. “Shut up, all of you!” he shouted at them. The laughter died down almost immediately. “Aww, poor little turtle,” the Ranger mocked Bowser, a pout on his face. He turned to his friends. “Hi, my name’s Bowser, leader of the loser troop, oops, I mean, KOOPA troop. I got my poor wittle tail kicked by a bunch of wittle shy-guys. I’m just a stupid wittle turtle wockin’ on my ba-ack, and I can’t get back into my siwwy wittle castle,” he finished in a mock singsong. The group burst into giggles once again.

“Grr…” Bowser clenched his teeth. “I’ll show you!” He ran towards the castle, intending to break down the door. He ended up slamming his entire right side into the heavy wood. Bowser cried out in pain. “Gyaaaaahh!!!” he yelled. The door refused to budge. The laughter continued. Bowser looked at the doorstopper, which was lying in front of the doors on the ground. “But-but-but, how?” Bowser was baffled. “You’ve knocked the stopper, so why can’t I get in?”

“It’s quite simple, turtle-boy!” the Ranger called down. “You see, we’ve sealed the door with the type of magic that you don’t seem to have! And unless you have this magic, you can’t open the door, ha ha ha. So, bye now, off with you. Scram. Get lost!” “Yeah!” added a shy guy. “I’ll get you for this!” threatened Bowser, shaking a fist at them. The shy group just laughed. Bowser, realizing there was nothing he could do, lowered his face and dropped his fists. His shoulders slumped in defeat. He sighed, turned around, and crossed the bridge, the giggling fading behind him as he walked away.

“Grrr…my castle…”

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaand………we’re out!!! Now! Fire the breaker!…oh, uh, I mean, back to the present! My bad, hehehe…okay, here goes…

Bowser trudged along the path, trying to shake the image of the chortling, pointing shy-pack out of his mind. He lifted his head as he approached the entrance of a home. “I’m going to regret this,” he sighed, hesitating for just a moment.

(Knock knock knock)

The simple wooden door opened. The red hat with the embroidered “M” was the first thing Bowser saw. Then the matching red long-sleeve shirt under the white gloves and blue overalls came into view. And finally, the bushy black moustache that almost concealed the expression on the little man’s face, a frown of distrust, of suspicion.

“Oh, uh, um, Mario,” addressed Bowser. “Uh, there’s something we’ve got to do.” Mario raised an eyebrow.

‘We’? he thought. In your dreams!

“Come on, Mario, you gotta help me,” pleaded Bowser, growing impatient. “I’ve been kicked out of my own…um, I mean, I locked myself out of my castle again.” Mario shook his head. “Mario! You haven’t kept your part of the deal! You joined the Koopa Troop, and you’re supposed to help the Koopa Troop Leader! Now when I say ‘help me,’ I mean DO AS I SAY NOW!!!” Bowser growled. Mario refused again. Bowser uttered a groan. “Fine then,” he spat out. He pointed a stubby claw at Mario. “You say no now, but I’ll find ways of making you help me!” The threat lingered in the air as Bowser stormed out of the area.

As soon as Bowser left, Mario pulled the door back further, revealing his two guests. “What was his problem?” asked Mallow. “Oh, with Bowser, anything’s possible,” Geno told him, laughing. Mallow snickered. All three stepped out of the house. “Whew! Hey, Geno, I’m glad you came down to visit,” Mallow said. “Well, with the Star Road in good shape, I figured, ‘Hey, why not visit my earthbound friends?’” Geno replied.

“Why did you take on that form again?”

“Well, how else would you have recognized me?”

“And Gaz didn’t mind?”

“No, in fact, he was thrilled I returned. But I owe him for borrowing his doll’s form again.”

“Well, do that later then. I’ve got only a few hours before I have to go back to the castle.”

“Oh yes, sorry, Mallow,” said Geno. “I am glad to be spending time with my old friends…and I’m actually glad to see Bowser, even.” “Really?” asked Mallow, making a face. “Bowser is okay, I guess…but I’m beginning to think he meant something with that threat…or maybe I’m just crazy. I don’t know.” “No, no. I don’t think you’re crazy,” Geno told Mallow. “I’m a little worried myself. I just hope things will be all right. Hey Mario, what do you think?”

Mario slowly turned around. The troubled expression on his face indicated he felt that everything would not be Peachy. And he was right, because precisely at that moment, in the distance, they heard a woman’s scream…

…well, gee, I wonder who THAT could be!

“Bowser, why don’t you ever learn?!” an annoyed Toadstool shouted at the turtle, who was abducting her once again. “Aww, shut your trap,” Bowser told her. “I’m trying to think of a way to escape, and I can’t think with you nagging. Now, let’s see, a way to escape…” The turtle gradually slowed down, coming to a halt, the Princess still in his arms. He freed one hand and reached into his shell. “Ah, let’s see if any of my old tricks work.” He pulled out an Erlenmeyer flask* filled with a red potion. “Naw, too 1986. Probably won’t even make a door,” he grumbled and tossed the bottle. “I don’t even know how I got that bottle. I wasn’t even IN that game, sheesh.”

*Sigh…okay, break time! For those of you who DO know what an Erlenmeyer flask is, go ahead and skip this paragraph! For those of you who don’t know, it’s an open bottle with a narrow neck and wide bottom, in a cone-like shape. You know…those neat looking bottle-thingies scientists use to mix chemicals and liquids and stuff for labs?! What? You still don’t understand? Remember Super Mario Bros. 2 for NES? No? Well, I guess you’re missing out on a really funny joke and it’s too late for anyone to help you now. Oh well. Sorry to interrupt your reading, and now…back to the story!

“Bowser, what are you talking about?” Toadstool demanded. “’Game’?”

Bowser ignored her and took out a scepter*. He scoffed. “Oh, yeah, right, like a wand is going to help me. It didn’t do any good for my kids…” He also threw away the object. “What else, what else?” he said aloud, thinking hard. He snapped his claws. “Ah, I know!” He reached back into his shell and pulled out a small remote.

*What? What are YOU looking at? I don’t feel like explaining what a scepter is! Get back to reading!

“Bowser, what’s that for?” The Princess looked puzzled.

“You’ll see.” He pressed a button on the little black remote. Suddenly, a whirring sound in the skies was heard. The giant clown face with that questionable bottom propeller appeared. “Ah, modern technology!” declared Bowser proudly. “Oh no!” groaned Toadstool. “I hate that thing! Bowser, can’t you find a better way of kidnapping me? A…classier way, perhaps?!” “I said to hush your trap already,” Bowser told her, concentrating on the vehicle. Toadstool uttered another groan. “What a perfect day I chose to go visit Mario,” she muttered.

“BOWSER!!” The turtle spun around. There, at the entrance of Mushroom Way, stood an angry Mario, Mallow, and Geno. “Uh-oh, busted!” Bowser whispered. He turned around to check on the progress of the vehicle. It was still moving in his direction. He grinned and looked back at Mario. “You’re too late!” he sneered. “You see, I am about to—”

POW! Sputter…sputter…POP!

The sudden loud noises startled everyone into looking at the airborne vehicle, which was now malfunctioning. Sparks began flying out of the machine, followed by the smoke. Oh, the smoke! Bowser’s eyes widened in horror as he watched his very own getaway ride drop away to the ground. “Doggone it!” he shouted. “Well, Bowser, what do you have to say to us now?” Mallow asked smugly. Bowser glanced quickly behind him, and turned back away. He stood there for but a moment, hastily mumbled “Later!” and bolted out of Mushroom Way.

“After him!” commanded Geno. All three friends began to chase Bowser. The turtle ran into the open area where a lakitu was constantly throwing down spikeys. Bowser, being almost at the end, ran underneath the lakitu, who was taking a break from tossing the little monsters. “Hey Bowser!” called Lakitu. “No time to talk,” Bowser answered. “I’ve got to HIDE!”

“Why don’t you hide in that pipe over there?”

“Eh? What are you talking about? There’s no pipe!”

“Yes there is. It’s wedged right between those two mounds. See it?”

“Oh…yeah,” said Bowser, squinting at the barely visible green pipe. “Uhh…do you know where it leads to?”

“I have no idea.”

“BOWSER! Let her go!” Bowser whirled around and, again, found three irritated friends glaring at him. “No time for rational thinking,” mumbled Bowser, turning back to the pipe. He sprinted over and leapt over the two hills (to avoid getting his large body stuck jumping through) into the pipe. “He’s getting away!” shouted Mallow, running towards the pipe, fists balled, his arms furiously moving up and down in the air. He climbed up the hills, for he could not jump, not being a frog and all, and dove into the pipe. Mario and Geno followed, leaping over the mounds, and finally, entering the pipe* to see what it had in store for them all…

*Sigh…okay. For all you smarty-pants people, to the best of my knowledge, no, there is NO secret pipe in Mushroom Way. It’s just something I made up, okay? Geez, please don’t try to find it and get mad at me for misleading you or whatever. Now…for a new section in our story! We-ell, are we having fun yet? Woo-hoo! The setting of Chrono Trigger, everyone!

In another world, in another time…

“Boy, Crono, this sure is nice, all of us just hanging out here,” the girl with the blond ponytail told her punk-haired boyfriend. Her boyfriend, Crono, gave her a nod.

It was another bright crystal-clear day in the village of Truce. A second girl stood up and adjusted her thick glasses. “Sure it’s nice, Marle,” she told the first girl. “But I have a feeling something strange is about to happen today.” Marle looked up at her friend. She shook her head, the blond ponytail swaying back and forth. “Oh, Lucca,” Marle sighed. “Don’t be such a worrywart. Just sit down with Ayla and enjoy the day.”

“Well…okay.” Lucca hesitantly took her place by the woman wearing furs. “Ayla agree!” declared the woman. “Lucca worry too much. Ayla no come visit here worry. Ayla come spend time with friends!”

They were all sitting on the grass in front of Leene Square. They lifted their faces to the sunny blue skies. What a perfect day it was. “Yeah…” Lucca finally said. “A great day, just the four of us, and—”

“Got room for one more?”

The foursome turned their heads, surprised to see the blue-haired mage coming their way.

“Magus?” Lucca was puzzled. “What are you doing here?”

“Oh, you know,” the blue-haired man answered. “I had to get out of the hut. Schala’s mad at me again.” He walked up to his four companions. “What did you do this time?” sighed Lucca, rolling her eyes. “Um, uh, er…um, I left the seat up and she, um…fell in again,” he replied sheepishly. “Oh, Magus,” groaned Marle, “Not AGAIN. Huh, and you wonder why I never invite you over.” “Funny. Real funny, Marle,” Magus said sarcastically. “I swear, sometimes you act just like Schala.”

Marle cocked her head. “Well, gee, Magus, could it be the fact that I’m…oh, uh, I don’t know…related to her?!”

“Oh. Oh yeah.”


Lucca leapt to her feet, startled. Wide-eyed, she frantically looked all around her. “What was that?!” she cried. The other members stared at her, wondering the very same thing she was: the gate!

In the back of Leene Square…

Bowser moaned and opened his eyes. This time, with him lying on his stomach, he had no problems getting up. “Where am I?” he mumbled sleepily. He looked behind him, seeing the four other beings lying there. “Oh yeah! Now I remember!” He stared at the Princess. “I gotta escape!” Bowser picked up Toadstool and started to retreat. He then stopped, finding the surroundings very peculiar. “What…is this place?!”


Bowser almost jumped. Then he let out an annoyed sigh, recognizing the voice of the being that was calling his name. Rolling his eyes in exasperation, he turned. “Not again,” he groaned. “You three facing me with those stupid looks on your stupid faces again! Well, I’m not hanging around here because you’re REALLY getting under my shell! So…good riddance!” With the Princess over his shoulder, he dashed out of the place. “He’s getting away!” shouted Mallow. So the three friends were chasing Bowser once again…sigh…


Outside Leene Square…

All five people were standing now. “Oh no!” cried Lucca. “I thought Lavos was dead! How could there be a gate?!” “Calm down already,” Magus told her. “Lavos IS dead. We made sure of that, okay?”

“But how—“

“Well, it can’t be a Lavos gate, so I guess it would have to be a—”

“Big…nasty…brute!” a panicked female voice unknowingly finished for Magus. Magus spun around to face the entrance of Leene Square. “Huh?!” The others followed his gaze. Their mouths dropped as a giant spiky-shelled creature carrying a human female ran out of the townsquare.

Ayla gasped. “Spiky shell?! It Lavos spawn! We kill now!” she shouted. She began to run towards the creature, but Lucca stopped her. “Wait, Ayla. I think that’s just a really big turtle,” she told Ayla. “It’s not a spawn.”

“Eh? Oh, good…..but Ayla still no like beast!”

The turtle finally stopped, finding himself in the middle of the tiny group. “Huh?” He looked all around him to see five human faces giving him strange looks. “What the—”

“Come back here!” The turtle spun around. “They just don’t quit!” he angrily said.

“There he is!”

“Stop that turtle! Stop him! He’s got our friend!”

Ayla quickly stepped in front of the creature. “Beast not go anywhere,” she threatened. “Outta my way, girly!” the turtle told her. Ayla didn’t budge. “Ayla strong. No cross Ayla. Drop girl now, or Ayla get mad. And Ayla no like you already! So you no want Ayla mad, then! Now hand over girl!” she demanded. “Put a cork in it, sweetheart,” the turtle snapped. “Okay, turtle ask for it,” said Ayla. She brought her leg up and stamped down hard on the turtle’s bare foot.

The creature dropped his hostage instantly. “AAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGHHHH!!!!!!!” He grabbed his foot, hopping on one leg, yelling in pain. The hostage scrambled to her feet and hid behind Ayla. “Thank you so much,” she told the prehistoric woman. “Ayla just do what turtle enemies say. No need thanks,” Ayla answered.

“Yes, and thank you,” said the other voices at the front of Leene Square. Everyone else looked back at the entrance and saw the owners of the voices standing there. The three strange-looking individuals. Their leader, wearing blue overalls and red shirt, seemed to be the only human in his group, other than the female. The next being, which looked like a rounded mass of fluff, was definitely something out of the ordinary. What kind of creature was he? But the strangest sight of all was the third creature. He wasn’t a human being, he wasn’t a mystic of any sort, and he surely wasn’t from around the area, like the other ones Crono and his gang had just encountered. He looked more like an enlarged child’s toy. A doll, perhaps.

“Who are you guys, and what in sam hill are you doing here?” Marle questioned. The cloud-like creature stepped forward to introduce himself. “Hi, I’m Mallow,” he said. He looked to the little man with the “M” hat on his right. “This is Mario—” Then he turned to his left to point out the large doll creature—“and this is Geno. We’re here to get our friend Princess Toadstool, who that JERK Bowser here kidnapped!” He pointed to the turtle. “Hmm…so you’re Bowser,” Marle said, staring at the spiky-shelled creature that was beginning to recover from the shock of the impact. Bowser finally stopped hopping and set his foot down.

The little man, Mario, also stepped forward. He leapt twice, apparently in fury at Bowser. He didn’t say a word; just seemed to express his emotions through gestures rather than through words. Lucca cast Mario a funny look. “Gee, Mr. Mario, you sure don’t talk much, do you?” she remarked. “I don’t know anyone, ANYONE who’s ever acted like such a mute.” Mario only shrugged. Lucca let out a giggle, turned around, and found Crono giving her an uncomfortable look. “Uhhh…why are you staring at me like that, Crono?” Lucca asked him. Crono set his eyes to the ground. Oh, the sorrow of it all! He just couldn’t find the words to say.

All watched as the dark mage walked over to Geno. Magus didn’t stop until he was directly in front of the doll, almost parallel to him. Magus cracked a smile, and, shortly after, began to chuckle. “What’s so funny, Magus?” Lucca asked. “Get a load of this guy,” Magus snickered, placing his hands on his hips. “What about him?” Lucca wanted to know. “Check out that stupid wardrobe! Look at that…that LONG…BLUE…HAT of his…and…and just look at that ridiculously LONG…BLUE…CAPE! Hehehehe!!!! Oh brother! What a total loser!” Magus finished, gasping for breath from laughing so hard. Lucca raised an eyebrow. “Um, gee, Magus, it’s almost like looking into a mirror, isn’t it?” she said dryly.

Magus’ laughter was cut off rather quickly. His eyes widened as he put his arm behind him to pull forth his own blue cape, examining it. With his other hand, he reached up and touched his own blue hair. His mouth fell open in shock, and he turned to face Lucca. “Wha…? Hey!”

“You picked that battle, Magus, and you lost!” Lucca declared, now being the one to laugh. Magus just blushed, and walked away. Geno didn’t say a word.

With Ayla off her guard, Bowser saw an opportunity to snatch his victim up once again. He ran behind Marle and picked her up. “Mario! Help me or Toadstool gets it!” he threatened. Marle yelped in surprise. “Put me down, idiot!” she yelled, squirming to get free. “I’m not Toadstool, I’m Marle!”

“Eh?!” Bowser set down his hostage to observe her. “Oh, hehehe. Sorry, doll-face. My mistake. But you sure do smell like a Princess. Mmm…Nice and Peachy.” Marle shot him a dirty look. “For your information, yes, I am a Princess. I’m Princess Nadia but I prefer to be called Marle,” she told him. “Um, okay, whatever,” Bowser responded. “Sheesh, sorry.” “That’s okay,” Marle grumbled, brushing off her outfit. “What did you mean by Mario helping you?” “Oh. I was kicked out of my—uh, um, uh, I mean, I locked myself out of my castle again, and-and-and I wanted Mario to help me open it!” Bowser, ever so smoothly, answered Marle.

“Oh, quit trying to cover up, Bowser,” Mallow said. “You got kicked out, and you know it. The question is, by whom?” Bowser lowered his eyes to the ground and muttered something under his breath. “What?” asked Mallow. Everyone leaned in to hear what he was saying. “I said, a group of…shy guys,” Bowser confessed. A smirk, unlike the one he already had, formed on Mallow’s mouth. He tried to conceal his merriment, but a moment later, burst out laughing. Geno and the other Princess, Toadstool, joined in. Even Mario put a hand to his mouth, trying to hold it in.

“I don’t know what a shy guy is, and I don’t think I want to know, either,” Lucca said. She shook her head. “Um, Bowser, was it? Why can’t you get back into your castle anyway?” Bowser turned to face the girl with the thick glasses and told her, “They sealed the door with this type of power. It’s a type of magic I don’t have! I need this kind of power to open the door! Sigh…but where? Where can I find a source, an object with this power? Where…?”

At that exact moment, just when it counted the most, Marle’s pendant sparkled. Everyone looked at Marle. “What?” asked Marle. She looked down. “Oh……oh! Yeah! But…how do you know Lavos’ power will work?” “Well, it opened every sealed door we found, didn’t it?” Magus reminded her. “And besides, these shy guys they’re talking about, it sounds like all of them combined probably don’t even match half the power of Lavos.” Marle brought a hand to her chin. “Hmm,” she said. “Well, okay!”

“Wait,” Bowser said. “Why are you helping me anyway?” Marle rolled her eyes. “Because we can’t wait to see you go, okay?” she snapped. She turned to the four strangers and asked, “Um, how did you get here, and how can we get back there?” Toadstool came forward. “Well, we jumped through a pipe and it lead here…but where is here?” she wanted to know. “You’re in the Village of Truce,” Marle told Toadstool.

“Oh. Um…what…year is this?”

“1000 AD.”

“WHOA! We’ve stumbled on a timegate as well? We’ve traveled almost a thousand years into the past!”

Ayla shook her head. “That nothing. Ayla from 65,001,000 years in the past.”

“What do you mean, Toadstool?” Marle asked. “Well,” started Toadstool, “That pipe we went through seems to have sent us to another world in another time! It’s almost like a timegate…a pipegate!” “Okay then,” said Marle. “Then can we get back?” “I don’t know,” answered the peachy princess. “It was a pretty long drop…” “Wait,” said Geno. He cast a spell and created a green springboard. Toadstool’s jaw dropped. “Geno, how did you know about the springboards?” she questioned him. “I don’t know,” replied the doll. “I wasn’t even in that game.”*

*Hey, I SAID it didn’t have to make sense, didn’t I? Oh, uh, yeah. Back to the story.

“ANYWAY,” said Mallow, “We can use the board to jump up to reach the pipe. So, let’s go.” All ten whatever-you-want-to-call-them-because-not-all-of-them-are-of-the-same-species entered Leene Square. They continued to the back, where Bowser pointed out the pipe, which was very high up in the air. Geno placed the board directly under the pipe. One by one, the ten beings bounced up into the pipe. Crono’s group tried to adjust to the new surroundings as they crossed over into the Mushroom World…

Huh? Eh, I don’t feel like giving detail on how they did all that stuff to get back to Bowser’s Keep. Besides, the story’s almost over! I gotta find a way to end it, poorly or not! So, let’s fast forward here…let’s see…past Mushroom Way, oh! There they go, hehehe. Past Mario’s house and let me put it in slo-mo so I can see Marle smack Bowser for mistaking her for Toadstool again, hehehe…I’ll have to get a couple of replays of that, mmm, hehe…ahem…and look, they’re crossing the bridge…and…here we are! We open to the setting of SMRPG, the ten members standing in front of a still sealed Bowser’s Keep…um…my hands are getting cramped from typing this…er…

“This is it?” cried Marle. “This is the door you want me to open?!” “That’s the one,” answered Bowser. Marle sighed. “Well, which chant should I use?” she asked aloud. “Um…let’s see…um…” She put her arms forward. “Uh…neuga, ziena, zieber, zom—” “No!” interrupted Magus. “That’s my chant, and it isn’t even the one you use on the door!” He uttered a loud groan and rolled his eyes. “Let ME do it, okay?” “Fine,” said Marle. Magus retrieved the pendant from Marle and began chanting a song of mysterious words…

“Uh…I think it’s working,” Bowser said. He looked away and added under his breath, “Despite the fact you can’t sing on key.” Magus shot the turtle a nasty look, insulted by that false, rude statement. The pendant began to glow, and the doors slowly creaked open. Soon the party could see the inside of the castle. Bowser cheered. “Okay!” he said. He turned to Mario. “See, Mario? This is all I was asking of you! And you couldn’t even provide that. And you call yourself a plumber.” Mario threw his hands in the air. “Mama mia!” he cried in exasperation, completely fed up with Bowser.

“Well, Bowser, you can go inside now,” said Toadstool. She let out a yawn. “I’m tired. I think I’m going to go home.” “Wait!” Marle spoke up. “How do we get home? I don’t remember where that pipegate was.” “Mario and I can show you guys,” offered Geno.

Bowser looked back at the party. “Well, now that all of that’s settled, I’m getting my castle back!” With those words, he rushed inside.

“Hmph!” said Magus. “Didn’t even say ‘thank you.’” “Oh well,” Marle sighed. “I don’t care. I just want to go home. So, come on, people, let’s go.” Wearied by the events of the day, the others agreed, and together they turned around to cross the bridge (and to give me a break from all of this typing!).

And nooooooooooooooooooooow, the conclusion! Okay, what happened to all these folks? I know you're itching to find out!

Well, Princess Toadstool did as she said she would, and took a long nap back at Mushroom Kingdom. Her grandmother finally decided to stop impersonating her. Mallow got busted for staying out too late, and King Nimbus grounded him for an entire week, taking away a few Prince privileges, including riding the Royal Bus (as if that’s really a loss). King Nimbus no longer asks celebrities for autographs.

The Chrono Trigger gang? Well, after Mario and Geno lead them back to the pipegate, they continued their happy little afternoon in front of Leene Square. After that, Crono, Marle, and Lucca hung out at Guardia Castle and cleaned the kitchen out of jerky and “Crono Special.” The cook was not amused. Ayla went back to the prehistoric era and chased away any surviving Reptites with her boyfriend Kino. Despite the fact that Ayla had already given full authority to Kino, she sometimes forgot she was no longer chief of Ioka. But Kino just shook it off. Magus went back to the Dark Ages, where his sister Schala, who finally managed to dry herself off, is no longer mad at him. Alfador the cat is still very attached to Magus.

Oh yes, before I forget, Mario went back to his pipehouse, where he found a red-faced Luigi trying to explain that wish on Star Hill. Yoshi was also there, giving back Mario all of the cookies he had won. Geno, after many, many hours playing with Gaz, retired his doll form and decided to hit that big highway in the sky, and…what? What are you looking at? You know…he went back to the Star Road! What did you think I meant?

As for Bowser…well, what can I say? He hurried inside his castle to hunt down the shy guys. He found them, and quite drunk, in the new throne room. The Shy Ranger, slumped in Bowser’s throne, was trying to host the celebration of the castle takeover in his tipsy state. As soon as one of the shy guys noticed the giant turtle fuming at the door, he cried out in alarm to warn his intoxicated pals, and together the entire group ran out screaming like little schoolgirls, the Shy Ranger squealing the loudest.

And there’s my crossover, people. I warned you it wouldn’t be pretty. Yes, you can stop hugging the commode now. I don’t know if this really will be my last crossover, but it probably will be the last SMRPG/CT crossover I write. Well, now that this story has had a happy ending, my work here is done, and so is your reading. So, goodbye, people, have a nice night, and don’t let this abomination affect your judgment of the rest of my work. In the words of Schala, “Now off you go!”


Thanks to Saul and Icy Brian for explaining to me about HTML tags, and my weirdo friend Wingy, even though you totally confused me, and probably aren’t ever going to come here and read this, but you did help, and for that, I am grateful as well. I hope the 1000 spot is in your favor…

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