Mystery Fanfic Theater 3000: Episode #101

By Nanaki

(In Deep 13, Dr. Forrester glares into the camera, at extremely close range, his nose filling the majority of the screen.)

Dr. Forrester: Well Nelson, I see Poppin' Fresh there managed to get ahold of the rest of the story. However, he didn't manage to get all of it! Get back in the theater, now!! You've got character stats to watch!

(Back on the Satellite of Love, the bridge begins to shake, and all the lights flash at once.)

Mike: Character stats? That's it?!

Crow: Ha ha! We win, we win!!

All: (Singing as they walk into the theater) Oh, right now we've got story sign, story sign, story sign! Right now we've got story sign, and that's okay with uuuuuuuss!!

(SoL symbol, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... Mike and Crow walk into the theater. Mike sets Tom in his seat, then he and Crow sit down, looking up at the screen.)

The Sword of Zeal Part 11

Character Stats



Name: Devon

Crow: Gayrod.


Age: 14
Weapon: Platinum Knuckles

Tom: Ah, that would be the form Knuckles took on to defeat Mecha-Sonic in the "Mecha Madness" special.

Mike: Sure Tom. Whatever you say.

Armor: ProphetSuit
Helmet: None
Accessory: None
Magic types: Lightning, Fire, Ice, Shadow, Jade,

Mike: And one more Nanaki rip off is the icing on the cake.

Gravity (Not much shadow or gravity.)
Other information: Devon was always bugged by Chris, who had the power to control emotions. He had his best friend stolen from him,

Crow: Oh no! David drinks out of the other side of the cup too?!

Tom: Crap. He was the only cool character in the bunch.

and the two tried to murder him. He tricked them, and lived in peace, until he was thrown into the CT world. There he learned magic, and wanted a second chance to destroy his enemies.... Devon likes to explore and discover new things, and was glad to help Crono fight lavos.

Tom: Since the whole thing is here, why did we have to bother reading the rest of the story in the first place?!

He is almost too eager to enter a battle, and is easily blinded with rage when fighting for revenge.

Mike: You know, a character with that trait should have been much, much cooler.


Name: Richard Darklighter

Crow: Presenting Biggs Darklighter's illegitamite cousin!

Age: 13
Weapon: Rocketsword

Tom: If that's what they're calling it these days...

Armor: School uniform

All: Now THAT'S gay!!

Helmet: Graduation cap
Accessory: Brainer ring (Ups trickiness)

Mike: Nothing like a good ol' heaping helping of stereotypes for a great character...

Magic types: none
Other Information: Rich is a very smart person, even though he is younger than the other two new characters. He is also very tricky, but never was strong. He created a special sword, and the blade drills, launches off, shoots lazers,

Crow: Well, what a coincidence, a blade with the exact same properties as-

Mike and Tom: NO!

and creates a shield. He is also planning to make the hilt into a granade, but hasn't finished yet. He is helping Devon out of pity, knowing that the brains of the team holds it together, and this team has none.

Crow: Finally, one of these goobers is honest.

Him and Lucca would make a good couple.

Tom: Well, they certainly got it on at the prehistoric party...


Name: Scott Falconia

Mike: Well, no one could have predicted that last name.

Age: 14
Weapon: Lightsabre and assorted elemental guns
Armor: Falcon suit
Helmet: Falcon helm
Accessory: Wall ring

Tom: What about Glitch?

Magic types: None
Other information: Scott is the strongest of the new characters, but is not the brightest guy in the world, either.

Mike: We didn't exactly need The Spy to tell us this...

His falcon suit comes with reflect and absorb shields, as well as a lightsabre. He can also use hoverboots, and a virety of elemental ammo that fits in his armcannon. He uses flamethrower, shotgun ice, earthwave, hydro pump, electric spark, dark beam, acid bomb, jade shot, and hyper crush. Scott is helping Devon fight Chris and David, not out of revenge, but he wants to help his best friend.

Crow: Sure, "best friend."

Tom: Heh, heh.

Scott always had a background of fighting and getting into brawls, which makes him a very powerful person, but he is big for his age, so he is slow, too.

Mike: And...?

Tom: I think... that's it.

Crow: I think, you're right.

All: WHOO HOO!! We're done, we're done, we're done!!!

Mike: And we're outta here!

(1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, SoL symbol)

(Mike and the bots are all dancing around the bridge. The red light comes on, and Mike hits it, continuing to dance.)

Mike: All right, Dr. F! We've taken the worst thing you've ever thrown at us, and we're still going strong!

Crow: Yeah! Eat it Forrester!

(In Deep 13, Dr. F peers into the camera again.)

Dr. Forrester: Well, it would appear that way Nelson, but you didn't finish reading the story.

Mike: What are you talking about? There isn't any more story to read!

Dr. Forrester: Frank, send them the story. AGAIN.

Frank: Will do Clay.

(Mike and the bots stand, staring at Cambot, their mouths hanging open. Every light starts flashing, and the bridge begins to vibrate.)

All: We've got story sign! AGAAAAAAIIIIIIN!!!!


Mystery Science Theater 3000 was created by:
Joel Hodgson

Mike Nelson is:
Mike Nelson

Crow T. Robot is:
Trace Beaulieu and Bill Corbett

Tom Servo is:
Kevin Murphy

Gypsey is:
Patrick Branseg [It's been a while since I've actually seen the show, so if anyone out there is a bigger fan than me and can confirm or deny this, I'd appreciate it.]


"Icy whipped out his staff." - The Spy


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