Mystery Fanfic Theater 3000: Episode #102

By Nanaki

Chrono Trigger: The Lost Force Chapter 8

The Showdown

By Dragoon Taryn

???? (Zovak's Hideout)

Magus was chained to the wall in his cell, thinking about what Zovak had announced.

Mike: The S and M implications were downright scary.

Taryn is the one with the ultimate power! And she and the others will surely come for me! Now the reason why Taryn had come through the Gate was clear, and the reason why it had formed in her era was clear also. Taryn's purpose must be to

Crow: Annoy the hell out of everyone, Bulma style!

Mike: (Magus/Vegeta voice) I hope she does something else Bulma style...

destroy Zovak, and to help the rest of us! She would be a great addition to our team! he thought, then shook his head. Here he, Magus, was, thinking about their little group as a team. Maybe he wasn't as much of a loner as he thought.

Suddenly he heard voices. "Magus is in one of these cells. Just look for the one that has a sign that reads 'Occupied,'" Taryn's voice told the others.

Tom: (Taryn voice) Then we'll jump him while he's on the john. Hee hee! This'll be great...

"Quiet!" Lucca's voice snapped, "Do you want us to get caught?"

Soon they were in front of his cell. "Magus! There you are!" Marle exclaimed.

They went into the cell and Crono broke the chains with the Rainbow. "Here's your scythe," Taryn told Magus as she held it out to him.

He took it from her. "Dalton and Zovak are upstairs," he informed them.

Mike: (Taryn voice) Why aren't they waiting here to ambush us?

Crow: (Magus voice) You got me.

"Great! Let's go," Taryn said as she started for the stairs, but Magus stopped her.

"Wait. There's something you should know about the powerful person," he notified her.

Mike: (Magus voice) The "powerful" aspect refers to B.O.

"That's you, isn't it?" Marle wondered.

Magus shook his head. "No, Zovak made a mistake. The most powerful person," Magus pointed to Taryn, "Is her."

Tom: (Lucca voice) You've gotta be f(censored)ing kidding me.

* * * * *

Dalton came up behind Zovak, who was staring out his window. "They're here," he announced.

Zovak turned to Dalton. "Good. Now let's hope that they walk right into my trap."

Crow: (Dalton voice) Why didn't we use Magus as the bait for the trap?

Tom: (Zovak voice) ..... You know, that's a really good question.

* * * * *

"So basically, I think Taryn was sent here to defeat Zovak and help us," Magus explained.

"Sort of like a new partner? Someone else we call when we need to destroy another evil, or discover a new Gate?" Marle wondered.

Mike: Good God, they're setting up for sequels!

Magus nodded. "Right. So now, we should go get Zovak."

"I'm all for that! Let's get a move on!" Taryn ordered.

"Yes, oh powerful one," Lucca said sarcastically.

"Damn straight. And don't you forget it either," Taryn told her.

They all trekked up the stairs and into the Grand Hall. Zovak was standing by the window.

Crow: (Zovak voice) The pigeons have been pooping on my car again...

"So, we meet again," he said.

"That's right pal. Now prepare to die!" Taryn whooped.

Zovak chuckled. "I don't think so. First, we need a good battle." He waved his hands and

Tom: Teleported them to another story.

made an entire army of monsters appear. "Now, play nice."

And so the battle began. Crono and Lucca were busy trying to destroy all the undead monsters with Fire Sword.

Mike: First it's rainbow colored, now it's on fire. I think Crono needs to get to a doctor.

Magus and Taryn were attacking whatever they could with their Shadow magic, and Robo and Marle were casting Cure Beam and other cure spells to keep the others healthy. Finally, many of the monsters dropped dead. (Exactly how can an undead drop dead anyway? Oh well.)

Taryn approached Zovak. "It's the end," she told him in a serious voice.

"I hardly think so, dear girl." He pulled out his staff, "Prepare for the battle of your life!"

Taryn and Zovak went at it.

Tom: Well whaddya know? He's straight after all.

Both were excellent fighters, and not many hits were being taken. Until Zovak casted Dark Bomb, which caused Taryn to go flying into a wall. "Ow, that smarts," Taryn muttered.

Zovak stood over her, his staff glowing.

Mike: Point that away from me, buddy.

"Prepare to feel powerless."

The crystal on his staff began to absorb Taryn's power. Taryn began to feel weak. And Magus noticed it. He ran over to Zovak and smacked the staff out of his hands, and it flew into a corner.

Crow: I'm never going to look at Magus the same way again.

"You fool! Look what you did!" Zovak snarled. He went over to retrieve his staff, only to find that it was now in Taryn's possession.

"I really, really hate this thing," she announced, then smashed it against the wall, causing the crystal to shatter.

Crow: (Zovak voice) Hachi machi!!

"NOOOOOOOOOOO!" Zovak screamed as the energy began to flow out of the staff.

All: Eeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwww!!!

Dalton came running to his brother's side. "Look what has happened!

Tom: (Dalton voice) They cancelled "Daddio!" Oh, looks like your staff got smashed too. That can't be good.

You idiots!" Dalton screamed at them.

Then, for some reason, Zovak began to laugh. "What's so funny brother?" Dalton asked, confused.

Mike: (Zovak voice) I just remembered this great limerick I saw on the bathroom wall! "There once was a woman from Des Moines..."

With a lightning fast move, Zovak ran and grabbed Taryn around the waist, then made a portal appear. "We shall meet again," he told them.

"No! Let go of me!" Taryn hollered as she and Zovak disappeared.

Magus became angry.

Crow: (Magus voice) I came up with that limerick! Someone is going to pay...

"What happened? Where did her take her?" he demanded of Dalton.

Dalton shook his head. "I don't know. But for your friend, it could be bad. Very bad."


The End.

Tom: .....

Mike: .....

Crow: Hey, when did you guys learn how to-

Tom and Mike: .....

Crow: Oh, I see. .....

Mike: ...What the hell kind of ending was that?!

Tom: I think we all know the answer to that...

All: A CRAPPY ending!!


Mystery Fanfic Theater 3000: Episode #102

Chrono Trigger: The Lost Force Afterthoughts

By Dragoon Taryn

Now, I know you people out there are probably thinking, What kind of ending was that? The truth is, I got the idea from Icy Brian's fanfic, A Shadow of Evil ( the first fanfic I ever read).

Crow: What a surprise.

In his afterthoughts, Icy Brian said, I hate seeing someone build the bad guy up to be an all-powerful being, only for them to be beaten *snap* like that (direct quote).

Mike: Well, that's appropriate, considering that most of this story was a direct quote.

Taryn and Zovak were my own personally made characters, and I did make Taryn based on myself. However, I didn't want to write the story in Taryn's eyes, because I wanted to have every characters' thoughts and opinions in the story, not just 'my' own. Judging from the ending, most of you can bet there will be a sequel. And it is currently in the works.

All: Awwwww, crap.

I think I should also explain the hostility between Taryn and Lucca. See, I didn't want all the characters from Chrono Trigger to instantly accept Taryn, I figured at least one of them should feel threatened by her. I finally decided that it should be Lucca, sort of because Lucca was the most 'advanced' human in the group, and now Taryn, a girl with more advanced technology, has shown up. I figured it would be natural for Lucca to feel a little threatened.

Tom: Yes, I'm sure the mighty technology of Van Damme movies really made Lucca nervous.

The last thing I should explain is why Magus seems so concerned about Taryn,

Crow: (Taryn voice) Magus has a history of statuatory rape.

and vice-versa. I figured that Taryn and Magus would sort of have the same kind of personality, both pretty much loners who never rely on others. The other reason is partly because they can both use Shadow Magic.

Now I would like to thank a few people. My sister Amanda, for telling me that I have good writing abilities, a great sense of humor, and is always encouraging me to write more.

Tom: (Mobster voice) I'm calling in a hit on Amanda, see? Nyaw!

My friend Paul, who listened to all my crazy ideas and never complained about it, and stands by me in my times of temporary insanity.

Mike: And to reward him for that, she shot him in the chest.

My dad, for telling me to do what I want to do, helping me with my own webpage, and not freaking out on me when I get bad grades, hahaha.

Oh, and one more thing, if any of you has read Lady Marrah's The New Returners, you'll notice that her villain's name, Zarok, sort of sounds like my villain's name, Zovak. Please be assured that this is a complete coincidence. I thought of the name Zovak myself, then around the time I was writing Chapter 6, I read The New Returners and realized that the names were similar.

Crow: And... rather than write any kind of conclusion, Taryn just brings the story to screeching halt.

Tom: You'd rather read more?

Mike: Good point Servo. Let's go.

(1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, SoL symbol)

(Back on the bridge, Mike and the bots are dressed in Hawaiian shirts, wearing sunglasses, and sipping drinks out of coconuts with miniature umbrellas in them.)

Mike: Ah... Well, Dr. F, it was an interesting experiment. Canadians, powerful vacuums, ambushes, and way too much staff imagery. Buuuuuut, it looks like we're all still sane.

(Back in Deep 13, Dr. Forrester is laughing his head off.)

Crow: (Taking his sunglasses off) That's... not the reaction I expected.


(Both Dr. Forrester and Frank are laughing evilly now.)

Dr. Forrester: Oh, Nelson, if only you knew...

Frank: We gave you a bit of a break this week.

Dr. Forrester: We've got something quite special in mind for you next time! (He cackles crazily some more, eventually going an octave too high and giggling like a school girl.) Ahem. Well, push the button Frank.


(Back on the Satellite of Love, Mike and the bots are huddled close together, trembling.)

Crow: I wonder what he's gonna...

(Tom's trembling slowly increases, until he splashes his drink all over Mike.)

Mike: (As the screen goes dark) Oh, lovely.


Mystery Science Theater 3000 was created by:
Joel Hodgson

Mike Nelson is:
Mike Nelson

Crow T. Robot is:
Trace Beaulieu and Bill Corbett

Tom Servo is:
Kevin Murphy

Gypsey is:
Patrick Branseg


"You don’t know who Jean Claude VanDamme is? Street Fighter? Universal Soldier 1 and 2? Honestly? You don’t know THE MAN?!" - Dragoon Taryn


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