Fall of an Angel
By Nanaki Lioness
Disclaimer: The characters, items, places etc of Final Fantasy VII are property of Squaresoft Ltd. These objects are used without permission for entertainment only, not for making money. No infringement is intended.
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Those piercing green eyes
so beautiful. Soft honey colored hair that
framed the face of an Angel. The flawless features illuminated by an inner
beauty, a compassion to help others sought to such an extent they became
more important than herself. An innocent love and trust for others, one that
could be considered a weakness. But not for her. They highlighted her personality
perfectly. Unselfish, unwanting, not accepting a reward for anything she
would do. A passion for nature, and the Planet itself. An important part
of Fates plan to make individuals care. She was perfection.
And she had been taken, murdered by the blade of their enemy.
The eyes looking dead at those around her, their shining light within gone.
The hair loose from its braid, the pink ribbon that once held it sliced
in two. The flawless features tainted by a wound so deep she could not survive.
The perfection, the trust, the love, taken by one clean slice of a sword.
Aeris Gainsborough was dead, and those she left behind were in turmoil.
As Cloud had stepped through the crystal holy waters that surrounded the
altar of death, they watched from the shore. They saw their friend go out
as far as he could and hold Aeriss body above the water, and whisper
something to her as he reluctantly let her go. It could have been goodbye,
it could have been I love you, it didnt matter to those who saw him
slowly retreat, his bright eyes never once leaving the spot where he had
just laid Aeris to rest. He had backed up to the shore, almost falling backwards
onto the sandbank having not noticed he had reached it. The others had stared
out into the translucent waters before them silently. No-one uttered a word,
meloncholy having taken over the group like a vice clamping their souls.
The air was only occasionally punctured by the sounds of Tifa and Yuffie
crying.
Someone had asked what they were going to do now. If they going to continue
their journey. The others had paid them little notice, too wrapped up in
their own dark thoughts to hear the words spoken. Silently, they had started
to move away from the edge of the water. No-one dared a look back.
They had made their way to a nearby abandoned building. Yuffie and Tifa had
immediately left the party, going up the stairs to one of the two bedrooms.
Cait Sith had powered down in a corner, looking awfully ashamed. Red had
curled up by a fire that Barret had lit, and was sleeping soundly. Barret
had been sitting in a chair next to the burning embers, and Vincent had laid
on the couch. Both were asleep, the only noise in the room being the sparks
of the fire. Cid and Cloud has gone up to the other bedroom. The whole building
had a sombre air about it.
And it was those thoughts that invaded Cloud Strifes mind in the early
hours of the morning, when he was trying not to think of them. He had tried
to think of anything but that, anything but the beautiful women who had been
murdered. But he couldnt. His mind was determined to make him stay
awake, plagued by unwelcome thoughts. They came unbidden, despite his best
efforts to keep his mind occupied.
He stared at the ceiling, sighing deeply. Sleep seemed distant, like it had
been most of the night. He had been laying restlessly for hours. He glanced
at a nearby clock. Two hours sixteen minutes, to be exact. Across the room,
he could hear Cids gentle sleeping. He had been out like a light as
soon as his head touched the pillow, but Cloud had heard him sigh a few times
when he awoke. He didnt seem to be sleeping peacefully. Cloud didnt
suspect anyone in the building was.
He pushed the unwanted thoughts of the evenings events out of his mind
once again, only to have them replaced with equally disturbing ones. Sephiroth
burning Nibelheim
he shook his head to clear it. He didnt want
to think about Sephiroth. If he did, he would think about
no, he refused his twisted imagination the pleasure of re-playing the
scene in his head. Or, at least, he tried.
He hated himself. He had tried to kill her, doing the job for Sephiroth like
a puppet would for its master. He had held the blade above his head,
sending it downwards towards her own. The startled cries of his friends had
snapped him from the trance, but he still felt ashamed with his actions.
He hadnt said a word to anybody since he had buried her. They had hardly
spoken at all either.
The reactions of some of the others had surprised him a little. Cait Sith,
being controlled by an anonymous Shinra Employee, had looked ashamed. He
was with the enemy who had hounded the Cetra for the duration of her life.
Barret had surprised him by offering Cloud himself comfort, a condoling hand
on his shoulder. Yuffie had embraced him, but whether it was to pacify her
cries, or his hurt, he didnt know. Tifa, normally strong and cool headed,
had run from the altar in tears. Cid had simply stared up at the sky, as
if in prayer for the flower girl. Vincent, stoic and calm, had only cast
a glance at Aeris and then Cloud before leaving. Hurt was evident in his
red eyes, but he appeared to have suffered a grievous hurt before. No-one
knew much about the mysterious mans past. Cloud assumed it must have
been to do with his lost love, Lucrecia.
Cloud himself had simply looked on at his friends. He didnt once move
from his place opposite Aeris until all his friends had vacated the altar.
Then he had gracefully lifted her body, angelic even after life had departed
her, and carried her out into the water. And let her go.
Now, he was destined to stay awake all night, thinking of the wrong that
had been committed. And blaming himself. He was her bodyguard. Why didnt
he save her? He should have done. He would never forgive Sephiroth, but he
could never forgive himself. He had almost committed the crime himself, but
thanks to his friends, was spared the guilt of actually killing her.
Sorrow had overtaken his soul, the guilt pushed away. His strong façade
for his friends was transparent now, had been as soon as the blade sliced
through Aeriss back, and out of her stomach. Inside, he was drowning
in tears he refused to cry.
Tifa and Yuffie had cried. That hadnt surprised him. He had too, in
front of Sephiroth no less. Tifa surprised him a little; he had been under
the impression that there was a rift between the two, although it was nothing
too serious. And Cloud feared it had been to do with him.
Both girls felt affection towards him. Aeris had taken him on a date at the
Gold Saucer, and even though he had owed her the date, he still enjoyed it.
Aeriss words and actions also showed she liked him as more than a friend.
When Cait Sith had read their fortunes, he had said they were perfect for
one another. Tifa had been there, he had seen the jealously in her eyes.
She had tried to conceal it, but Cloud had known her a long time. He could
see straight through it. He had liked her since childhood, but that was what
caused the problem. He didnt think he could ever see her as more than
a close friend, although she obviously wanted more.
He wasnt sure how he felt about Aeris. Was she a friend? Or something
more? Either way, it didnt matter, she was dead. That unsurprisingly
ended a relationship. But it didnt end love. Cloud didnt know
if he loved Aeris, but he did care for her a lot. So her death hurt him.
He was no stranger to loss. Sephiroth had burnt Nibelheim down to the ground,
his memories of the quiet mountain town gone with the ravaging flames. His
mother had perished in the flames too, but then he had been seeking revenge.
Sixteen years old and in that kind of situation meant it hadnt hit
him immediately. The overwhelming hate and desire to kill Sephiroth had.
His memories were lost after that point, and he didnt think now was
the suitable time to try and retrieve them.
He heard Cid cough softly. He was awake, but Cloud didnt call out to
him. His friends should be allowed the soft serene of sleep, even if he
wasnt. Cid would drop back off soon anyway.
He glanced at the clock again. Nearly four am. He cursed inwardly. Even if
he did get to sleep-which appeared unlikely-it would only be for about four
hours. That was better than nothing though, the more approachable option.
Although, that wasnt by his choice. He would like nothing more than
to drop into the velvet caresses of dormancy, where his troubled mind would
be at peace. At least for a short while.
Although, he thought dejectedly, Id probably just end up having nightmares.
After about ten minutes, he sighed and sat up. He had been tracing the
imperfections and cracks in the ceiling with his eyes, but he had run out
of ceiling. He had also run out of patience awaiting sleep, and threw the
covers off of him. Fatigue wouldnt be claiming him any time soon, so
lying in bed was useless. He quietly went over to the partially open door
and slipped out. The bright lights from the hall hit his sensitive eyes,
and he shaded them for a moment. When he looked around again, he realised
there wasnt any place to go. Tifa and Yuffies room was next to
his and Cids, and the stairs were to his left. He was also acutely
aware of the heat in the building.
A shower was becoming appealing, as the heat was getting unbearable, but
he didnt want to wake anybody. He settled for just getting a glass
of water instead. Slowly, he crept down the stairs, hoping he wouldnt
step on any floorboards that squeaked like in Aeriss house.
Dammit! He thought. There I go again!
It seemed like there was nothing to think about unless it meant thinking
about Aeris, or an aspect concerning her. It was becoming vaguely annoying.
It wasnt that he didnt like thinking about her, because he did.
He just didnt want to at that moment.
His friends were concerned. He didnt know why. The only words spoken
amidst goodnights were aimed at him. Was he okay, did he want to talk? No
he wasnt okay, but he didnt want to talk. He had never been one
for heart-to-heart chats.
He looked around the ground floor of the building, realising that he was
in the living room. Red was still sleeping by the fire, that had begun to
die down. Barret was fast asleep in a chair, evident by his snoring as the
back of the chair faced Cloud. Vincent was sleeping on the couch, but as
Cloud laid eyes on him, the red orbs snapped open. Vincent nodded to him
and closed his eyes again. Cloud wondered if the man ever slept at all. Sighing,
he looked around the room quickly and kept his eyes away from the front door.
He felt like going outside, but he knew hed be drawn to the Cetras
final resting place if he did that. Picking up an empty glass, he ran some
water and started up the stairs again. About half way up, he stopped and
looked at the front door again.
Cloud? A voice behind him said. He turned and saw Tifa standing
at the top of the stairs. How long have you been up?
All night, Cloud told her, starting up the steps again. He was
glad for the distraction.
Oh. Up close, Cloud could tell Tifa hadnt been sleeping
much either. She looked tired and worn, her eyes red with fatigue or tears.
Probably both.
Couldnt sleep? he asked.
Something like that, Tifa sighed. How about you? Are you
all right? I know you and her were
close
Tifa tailed off
slightly. Cloud nodded slightly.
Im pretty good. Tifa studied him for a moment.
Then why havent you slept? She asked. Cloud shrugged.
Not tired, I guess.
Oh. So what were you doing up? Cloud showed her the glass of
water.
Just getting this.
I thought I heard someone go downstairs. I kinda hoped it would be
you. Cloud didnt reply to that. Tifa smiled compassionately,
although tears stood in her eyes now.
You know what I think? She said softly. Aeris was an angel.
She wasnt human. She was too pure to be tainted by humanitys
flaws. She was sent by the Planet on a mission, and when she succeeded it,
she would be taken. She fulfilled her purpose here, and was taken back to
where she belonged. Dont you think, Cloud? Cloud didnt
say anything for a moment; this was exactly why he didnt want to talk
about Aeris. He nodded slightly, wanting to get away from the subject.
Yeah. Tifa smiled smally at him. There was a silence between
them. Cloud looked at her for a moment, thinking about her words. She had
obviously been putting a lot of thought into the subject. And she was right
too. That simple realisation brought tears that he had locked away inside
forth to his eyes, unbidden.
Im sorry, Tifa said, noticing. I didnt mean
to upset you. She stepped forward, embracing him tightly for a moment.
Cloud didnt say anything. Then she pulled back.
Ive kept you up long enough, Cloud said. You better
go back to bed.
Yeah, Tifa said. Okay. You take care, Cloud.
And you. Tifa smiled again and entered her room again. Cloud
sighed, shaking his head. Only a few more hours, he thought. Just a little
while longer and we can leave this place.
Just a little longer, and they could end the fight.
Opening his bedroom door, he cast a baleful glance at Tifas door. He
hesitated slightly. He knew she had wanted him to stay with her. He had ignored
her gestures, not wanting to fall in love again.
Love? Aeris?
Yes, he thought slowly. I love Aeris.
And, as it always worked for him, Fate twisted his life to make the one thing
he desired unavailable. Aeris was dead, but there was still Tifa.
Could I love Tifa? The childhood sweetheart he had adored for years?
I could, he thought, entering his room. Just not right now. He didnt
want to think about loving anyone else yet.
No, this night was reserved for the Angel who had fallen.