The Honey Bee Inn Incident

By Quistis Trepe

Reno slowly looked up from his slumber and across the room. He knew were he was but was ashamed at the same time. He wasn't there for himself but it still made him feel guilty. He may seem like the type to like dirty things like this but he wasn't.

"I mean sure, I think about these kinds of things, but doing them is an entirely different matter."

He sat up in bed and finally opened his eyes wide. There was a girl sleeping next to were he had laid. Had he? He couldn't have! He looked down at himself. He had! Thoughts rushed through his mind all at the same time. The room didn't help him think very hard either. It had rainbows and giant flowers painted on the walls. There was a giant hot tub in the corner and he had been laying on a round, fur covered bed. Things didn't look good. Without looking he grabbed for his sunglasses and hair tie on the bedstead. His fingers landed on something like a vending machine. He turned to look and saw a twenty-five cent machine. The Machine was labeled "FunBed" and had three buttons. The first was "Rotation," the second was "Vibration," and the third read "Bouncer."

Reno jumped up in discus. My god I must have had way to many beers at the bar. He knew his job was to watch over president Shiria while he was having his "fun" but this was going way to far under cover. He saw a mass of clothes bunched up in the corner and went to sort through them. While sorting he found three pairs of underwear. Two of whom were ladies undies. A quire smile ran across his face but vanished as soon as it had come.

"My god! I am a sick, sick man."

Although secretly in the back of his mind he congratulated himself on a two women victory he wondered were the other was.

"She must have gotten up to work with the other customers this morning."

As he was going through his clothes he came upon another discovery. A second tux. One exactly like his own but no his size. In fact, he gulp, smaller. He looked across the room and saw that the women under the covers wasn't a Honey Bee, it was Elena. He let out the most gut wrenching scream and ran from the room, half naked. On the way out he ran into a Honey Bee giving a tour to some potential customers.

"My goodness sir, you are to stay in your room like that, please."

The young couple looked at him with ill stricken faces. The girl, about seventeen, started to giggle but then contained it when she was pushed to a corner by her boyfriend.

"Mr. Reno, if you don't mind I would like to sell a room. Just because your boss is the president doesn't mean you can go romping around naked and scare our customers."

Without a word, but an embarrassed look, Reno slunk back to his "Nightmare Room." There he put his close on and folded Elena's in a neat pile by her bed. Then he slipped back outside


Elena awoke to a yell anyone could have heard for miles around. She opened her eyes to find a man running out the door beside her.

"How rude!" she stated sitting up.

As soon as her blankets fell off her chest she felt the draft and quickly sunk back down into the bed. She looked around and saw she was still at the Honey Bee Inn. Striating her hair she sat up once more, this time with the blanket wrapped around her and looked around more closely. Her clothes were bunched up and on the opposite side of the room. She thought to herself:

"Who or what am I here with…All I remember was having some beers with the guys last night. Did Tseng and I…no…but I wouldn't do it with any of those other immature guys."

Just then she heard the knob on the door turn and she laid back down fast. With her head in the pillow she couldn't see who it was. She heard someone throwing clothes around but still couldn't see who it was. After a few moments of shifting clothing she saw HIM put her clothes beside the bed. It was RENO! How low could she go! Obviously very. She lay there silent until he had exited the room.

"OOOWWWW, yuck my gosh! If I could I would go out there and beat some sense into him."

She slipped on her clothes leaving the extra panties behind. She automatically assumed he had dropped it. She had always known Reno to be a perverted, drunken, slob. She huffed out of the room and towards the location the Turks were to meet for the transportation of the president.

On her way out a Honey Bee cheerfully bid a good-bye.

"Hope you had a great time, please stay again."

Elena rudely shot back:

"Shut the H&%$*# up you snobbish little whore!"


Reno walked swiftly towards the Sector 7 Gate. He was already pissed off that his best friend, booze, had traded him to Elena, but another unknown women was killing him. What if it was Scarlet! He would have to puck.

"On the other hand what if it was Tifa…NO, NO, out of your mind."

He met Rude, Tseng, and Scarlet by a helicopter, probably containing the president. He looked at Scarlet and a shiver went down his spine. If he had done the nasty with her it would be like making love to a chocobo, just wrong. Even more gross was the fact if he did she was walking around without underwear now.

"Oh good you're here," Scarlet looked at Reno, "We are going back to headquarters so that the president can check up on business. You may get your belongings together because I will be taking you, Tseng, Rude, and Elena with me to Gongaga. We will meet in the morning 04-02 at eight-hundred hours. In Gongaga we will be guarding the reactor until myself and Tseng are done examining it for huge materia."

As she spoke Reno noticed she held her nose high enough for him to see into it. That gesture told him she probably thought of herself to much to have anything to do with him. In short she was a snob.

"Were is Elena. Did she wear herself out again."

With Scarlet's last comment Reno heard a snort come from Rude. He looked over at his partner and saw he was still in position with his hands behind his back. Did he know? If he did Reno would have to beat it out of him and threaten him not to tell Tseng, he respected Tseng to much to have him know he had made some bad judgement. It also would look even worst if it got out he was drunk at the time. He already had a reputation for being drunk.

While Scarlet was talking to the presidents manager, Reno turned to Rude.

"What's so funny?"

"It just that Scarlet has know clue what she just said. You should have seen Elena last night. It was her first time, and she was just wild!"

"What do you mean?" by now Reno had a ball of perspiration rolling down his forehead.

"Last night Elena was drunker then I ever seen you, and what's worse was that it was her first time."

"Really," Reno wiped the sweat from his forehead. He was glad his partner didn't know and was now going to go on in the conversation just so he wouldn't look obvious.

"How did you know it was her first time."

Rude smiled a little, "as I was helping her to the bathroom she confessed she had in her words 'Never banked a deer before.'"

Reno let out a nervous laugh and turned to see Elena walking up the path.


As Elena walked toward to helicopter she noticed Reno talking to Rude. If he was bragging to Rude she would ripe his B$%^#@ off. She walked over to Scarlet and stood in stance before her.

"That will be enough. I don't want you wearing yourself out on meaning less missions like this."

She motioned to Elena to stand in line and then started her speech again. Elena could tell she liked to hear herself talk.

"As most of you may know we will being going to Gongagaga to pick up some huge materia from the reactor there. I will need Reno, Rude, and Elena to guard the area while I and Tseng search the reactor for the materia. We will meet at the 70th floor helicopter pad at eight-hundred hours and hopefully get there by thirteen-hundred hours. While the president was traveling to Costa del Son to find Hojo he ran into the Avalance. This means they could be near by. Hopefully we can get there before them. Maybe we can poison the April flowers of that Aeris girl."

With her last comment Scarlet laughed. She would be the only person Elena could think of that would laugh at her own joke. No one else laughed but she did see Tseng cringe out of the corner of her eye. She knew he probably wanted to get the girl more then Scarlet. After all he had been chasing that Ancient since she was a child.

"You may all board the helicopter now," Scarlet smiled to herself, it was obvious that she enjoyed the leadership.

Elena was the last to load the copter. When she went in she frowned at the last remaining seat, a window one. Rude quickly got up from his seat beside Reno and took it. Rude was kind and knew that Elena got sick if she sat near the window. What he didn't know was that she would rather get air sick then sit by Reno. She sat down anyway, at least it was next to Tseng, and across from the president. Even though Rufus was perverted like his father he was still a major hottie. He would probably settle for one of his millions of female fans but he is afraid to commit. She was welling not to commit for him but would never ever say that. He'd dump her like a ton of bricks. That was okay, she had her eye on Tseng and he may even like her.


Reno watched Elena getting so close to Tseng that he could probably smell her. If she didn't like Tseng, Reno would kill the president himself. She was such a tramp. When he first met her she was so naive but now she had turned into a, come to think of it, a female Reno. All the same he still thought it sick waking up to her in the morning and not knowing who the other party was that slept with them. She may have been drunk but if she knew what was good for her she should have stayed sober. If this got out to anyone he would kill her.

He looked across from him and found Scarlet staring at Rufus. What girls fall for. The guy was a pervert. He found it fun to soberly romp naked with honey bees. How sick could you be. Next to Scarlet was the president's manager. He sat looking down. Finally Reno realized he was checking out Scarlet's legs through the slit in her dress.

"Come to think of it, every one in this helicopter has the hormones of a teenager," he thought to himself and dozed off.


Reno awoke from his 15 minute laugh, from the tap of Rude's sunglasses. He sat up and straitened his pony-tail and stepped out of the helicopter. The sun blinded him so he took his sunglasses from his pocket and put them on. He lined up at the door ready to be dismissed.

"Thank you, you are dismissed," Rufus said from behind his usual strand of blonde hair.

As the group filed into the building ready to get to their quarters Reno could hear Scarlet shout, "EIGHT-HUNDRED HOURS!"

Rude, Elena, Reno, and Tseng piled into the elevator. Tseng pushed the button for Reno and Rude's floor, the button for Elena's floor, and the button for his own. The button still read "V. Valentine and T. Smith's Suite." Him and Vincent were partners at on time and led the Turks together. Reno always wondered if Tseng ever missed him.

The elevator gave a ding as it opened on Rude and Reno's floor. Reno and Rude stepped out in silence.

"So…What are you going to do in the mean time Reno?"

"I'll pack now and go down to the bar later."

"Sounds like your usual plans. Aren't you going to celebrate? You've always wanted a mission outside this town."

"That's what the Wutai Victory's waiting down stairs is for."

"You and your Vodka…"

Reno walked through the living room and then through the kitchen. His room was behind a door off the kitchen. This was a good place for a room, steps away from the Alcohol cabinet. Rude's apartment was the same and joined with Reno's and the other vacant apartment. Reno used this for parties, but Rude was not a party type so he would just lock his door. Reno was mad when he learned they were getting a replacement for him, one because it was humiliating and two because they would take "THE PARTY ROOM." Luckily they gave the new Turk an apartment away from the guys, but still it was humiliating being replaced by a girl. Even more humiliating now that they had a nasty secret together.


As Reno got out Elena felt more comfortable. She hated the fact that after what happened now she would have to spend time with that sick, ugly, drunk. She looked longingly at Tseng. Why couldn't it have been him? She would love to wake up to him in the morning. She smiled at him.

"Are you excited?"


"I am this will be my first chance to show my strength to the Turks."

"You are already qualified."

"In what sense thou, I mean all I did was take a test. A standard knowledge test. That doesn't prove I'll be a good Turk."

"It proves enough."

"But being a Turk is 60% strength. I want to prove that to you."

"I've never used brute force," he smiled, "And you don't have to prove anything to me." With that the elevator gave another ding and Tseng stepped out.

Elena was alone now, and just as uncomfortable as before Reno left. Why did she have to bring him up in her thoughts again. It was enough he had slept with her did she have to be pledged by him also.


The elevator ringed and a intern stepped in. She pushed a button and the elevator went on its way again. Elena started to think of Tseng when the women who had just got in broke into her thoughts.

"Did you just say 'MEN' out loud?"


"Well have I got a story for you. I went out with this guy named Bill last night…"

Elena thought of killing herself as she went down the elevator. The women didn't even stop rambling when she got off. She hoped that's not the way she sounded to Tseng when she was on the elevator with him but that is probably what she did sound like. She had a whole day to unpack the rest of the belongings she hadn't already unpacked so she started at it.


Reno sat at the bar plastered as usual. Rude sat beside him when he suddenly got up. He put on his glasses and was heading towards the door when Reno stopped him.

"Where a…uh…you doing-going…in such a urry…"

"Some errands buddy. Why don't you stay here till I get back."

"Don't be lonnnnnggggg…"

"Nope, I won't."

Reno looked over at the girl beside him. She was hot. He took down another Mako Shot and slipped over to her. She was sober.

"Hello honey. Why don't I and I find out why they call me the littlest small-big city in the world."

"No thanks," she gave him a weird look as she slipped away with her drink.

"Bartender, am I sunk?"

"I wouldn't know."

"I mean am me Drunk."

"Yes sir."

"Well then you probably won't believe a thing I say then, right?" It was the first sentence he said right all night.

"That's probably true sir."

"Well then lets have a talk. About the Burs and the Seas, okay."

The bartender stopped listening and pored a lady a drink but Reno babbled on.

"Well, me and she, and she…we had S%#@ last night," with those word Reno started to cry. He then suddenly got up and went out on to the dance floor.


Hours later Rude came back and asked the bartender were Reno was. He pointed to the dance floor and rude saw him right off the bat. Reno was standing on top of a speaker belting out a party song. Rude nicely tugged on Reno's pant leg and Reno got down.

"I want a sh…a sh…a…"

"I know a shot. I'll give you one when we get up stairs."

Rude pushed Reno to the elevator and pushed the button waiting impatiently for the elevator door to come down. When it did Rude turned to where Reno was standing and found him wondering towards the bar. Rude grabbed him by the shoulder and guided him to the elevator.

"NO…no brute force…"

Reno watched as the ground suddenly became farther and farther away. When the elevator binged he had a hard time finding the sink because he couldn't run strait. Finally he found his couch and fell asleep.


Elena sat at her counter eating ice cream and crying over a sad movie she was watching. Why couldn't her life be like that. That female spy had all the romance she tallied her romance at none.

She was about to put her ice cream away to go down stairs to the bar when she had a change of heart. She went in the bathroom and put on a face mask. She walked to the living room and sat on the couch now watching a drama about a girl and her neighbor falling in love. Suddenly the door bell rang. With out thinking she got up to answer it. She opened the door and before she could see who it was they cry out.

"AH! Oh my sweet Jenova, it's just you Elena."

"Funny. What do you want?"

" I need to talk to you about Reno."

Reno swirled through her mind. Why did Rude what to talk about him? Did he know something? Did that f%#@*^ tell someone? All she knew was to keep that out of the conversation as much as possible.

"What's up?"

"Well, tonight he drank a bit more then usual. I think he has girl problems."

"What's that have to do with me?"

"You're a girl and…"

"What? Out with it," she said nervously.

" I want you to make sure it's not Scarlet! That's just sick. Today during the speech she a gave us he was checking her out. In the copter before he dosed off he was checking her out and after tonight I…"

"I think you'll be fine."

"Are you sure?"

"I pretty darn sure…"

"You just tell me what you think okay?"

"I'll keep you posted."

With her last remark she closed the door. She went strait to the kitchen and opened up another box of ice cream and settled down to some more TV.


Reno pulled his glasses on. He now remember why he had bought them. He had a headache and his legs were swollen. The only thing he could remember was that he had had a Mako Shot or two and that was it. He looked Elena up and down without moving his head. She looked as cheerful as ever. It made him sick was she not thinking about what had happened that night before or had sh not even noticed. What ever she was thinking she was happy


It was a lovely morning. It was too bad Elena had to be thinking about the hung-over guy next to her. She wished he would just disappear, maybe even be killed today by Cloud, that would be nice. She wanted to board the helicopter because it was cold but Scarlet insisted we wait for Rufus.


Rufus finally showed. He looked everyone up and down.

"Today is very important. I order for me to gain better approval from the world I most get the huge materia in order to defeat Sepiroth. You must kept Cloud from getting in and ruining our plans. Reeve has told me his "Cait Sith" has became a member and has spied long enough to know they will be there by tomorrow. Just in cause we are sending you out today. Come back with some materia and you will all get raises."

With out expression he left the helicopter pad and Scarlet directed Reno and the others into the copter.

"We will stand guard all day today and tomorrow, April 3rd. Remember, if you must, kill." She said these last words as they lifted from the ground. Suddenly Reno became sick from looking out the window and went into the cramped little bathroom in the back of the helicopter.


As the they started to land Elena already was un-buckling her seat belt. When the piled back out of the helicopter Scarlet had a call on her PHS. She turned to answer it and when she was done she turned back to Elena and the group.

"Reeve has to speak with me and Tseng, you people can be off for the day. Me and Tseng are heading back. We will see you people here, 04-03 at eight-hundred hours."

She then dragged Tseng into the helicopter and was off. Elena could only think about how Scarlet would flirt with him on the way back. She was grossed out by the way Scarlet flirted with every major leader in the company. It made her green with envy that Scarlet could do it with such finesse.

"Maybe we should scout the area."

"Didn't you hear her Rude we are off!"

"Yeah and Gold Saucer's near by!"

Both men looked at her. It wasn't her fault if she was addicted to Battle Square and Speed Square. She gave them a funny look back and then headed into town.

The place was kind of gloomy and the first person she talked to said they hated Shiria so she decided to keep a low profile. She went to a house on the left to the entrance of town and saw it had a chocobo. She knocked on the door. An old man came to the door.


That was the only thing she got out of her mouth before an old women came running to the door.

"Is it Zack?"

"No dear," he looked back at Elena, "what would you like miss."

"May I borrow your Chocobo I'll bee in town for a few days and I'd like to go to Gold Saucer."

"Sure miss…Its name is Zackie," he slowly started to close the door.

"How much?" She yelled through the crack.

"Free off charge," he yelled back.

She was now off to Gold Saucer.


Reno looked at Rude stunned to see Elena so happy to go to Gold Saucer. He looked toward the north.

"I heard a Cosmo Candle is a great drink want to come with me?"

"Why not, you'll need some one to carry you back."


Reno sat at a table playing poker with Rude. The drinks here weren't hard enough and all the music was Indian hums and drums, not to Reno's liking.

"Reno is there anyone in particular you like?"

Reno began to sweat now, "not really…"

"But the way you acted while we were in the helicopter today…you looked preoccupied."

"No, not me I'm not into this love s#@^%. Just not me," to get himself off the line he asked, "So who do you like?"

For the first time in a long time Rude blushed alittle. Reno wondered who? Hopefully not Elena she was a tramp. If it were an enemy it would be better then Elena.

"Who is the lucky lady?"

"No one…"


When Rude, Reno and Elena met back in Gongaga that night they all were tired. Elena told how she had heard of a man with a gun arm, probably Barret, being thrown into prison at Gold Saucer. Rude suggested they search the area before they went to bed. Elena went off in the direction towards the house she had borrowed a Chocobo from. She tied the chocobo back to the stall handle like before. As she starter towards the inn she heard laughter and Reno came to the door of the inn to stop her.

"What's so funny?"

"don't go in there!"


"Boy, Reno you should be glad I'm sober tonight!" He smiled at Elena and let her through.

She walked into the room in which Rude was standing. He was in tears.

"What in the h@^%& is so funny."

"You and Reno have to share this room tonight, and I just told Reno, and he came back here and…"

He couldn't finish he was laughing so hard. She didn't see what was so funny about this. Wasn't Reno uncomfortable that they would have to share a room because of what happened at the Honey Bee Inn. Rude stopped laughing long enough to go stand by his partner he pointed toward the one bed.

There on the bed lay a pair of panties and a HONEY BEE INN napkin that read "April Fools" in black letters across the top.


Author's Note:

I always personally wanted to go back to the Honey Bee Inn. One time wasn't enough for me. I guess I'm a pervert like Rufus and his dad. I also like the Turks they are pretty cool and fun to write about and I wrote about their personalities so that you could get to know them because it doesn't get into great detail in the game about them. I also wanted to make the story interact with the game. If you read hard it did. Thanks if read this far at all! E-mail and tell me what you think!

P.S. The show Elena was watching about a girl falling in love with her neighbor is my favorite show; Dawson's Creek!

Quistis Trepe's Fanfiction