Down Poison
By Spawn of Piccolo
Author's Note: Lyrics are in italics, whatever Jenova "says" is in bold, whatever Sephiroth "says" is in < >>, and, as usual, everything that is actually said aloud is in quotes. Song is Down Poison, by 3 Doors Down. I don't own 3 Doors Down or Final Fantasy 7; if I did, I'd be rich and looking for a way to bring the characters to life. Please, be gentle with me; this is my first songfic!
I've dreamed about this for sixteen days away
Would you look at that? I can move my hand, if only for a few seconds. For the first time in months, I can move my body of my own free will. What shall I do? Pick my nose? Scratch my ass? Pleasure myself? Or might I take my sword and lop off my head, ending this insanity once and for all? I opt for the latter. My hand shakes as I reach for the weapon lying beside me.
I can't allow you to do that, child.
Now you're here and my head lays Beside your body, pillowed under mine
My hand is retracted, placed on the beam that supports me. Five years it's been, and I've moved on my own a total of about ten times. The rest, I've been controlled by her. The she-bitch.
She is my warden, keeping me prisoner within myself. She is the source of the evil terrorizing the planet, making it look like my handiwork. She is the reason why I'm so exhausted all the time, though my body shows no outward signs of fatigue.
You were poison, spinning round my mind
She is my companion, my lover and my curse. She is the poison that flows through my veins, spreading into every orifice and contaminating all that I am. She is the sinner in me, my one deep regret. She is life, and she is death.
She is Mother.
Do you feel alive she said
I know your suffering, your pain, she continued. My heart breaks when I think of how much you have been denied. Never knowing your true power, your true purpose… But I can give you that power that you so desperately seek. I can help you make these puny mortals recognize your real value.
It's all a bad dream spinning in your lonely head
< My true value? What do you mean? >>
Ah, Sephiroth, they have refused you so much. You, child, were meant to be a God. You were meant to rule over the humans, and redeem us, for the humans and the Cetra must pay. They must all pay.
Welcome to my world she said
My head had spun, making it feel as if I had gone on an extremely fast carnival ride after consuming too many sweets. A god? Me?
I am not mistaken. Being inside my head, she immediately knew what I was thinking. It was meant to be. I came to this planet to rule the Cetra, and they refused me what was rightfully mine! They are mere slaves; they are meant to submit to us! And I will have what was kept from me for over two thousand years!
Separated world, she stayed separated
Thus began a waiting period in which "I" began training for my rise to divinity, on one of the remote islands somewhere between Wutai and the western continent. Jenova was always in control.
Body withered, body died
Never given a moment's peace, I was subjected to the most horrific mental anguishes imaginable; they were to supposedly "prepare" me for the "sneaky, conniving humans." Jenova never seemed to consider the fact that I was half human, and that up until then I had always considered myself one of them. But this thought, like all the others, could only be kept private in my subconscious. Every conscious thought I had was hers for the taking. Nothing was sacred anymore.
Time to take away this life
I snap myself back into the present. Jenova is rambling about the favor she is doing me, not to mention the entire Planet. As usual, I disregard her, and give an apologetic glance toward someone who will never see it. The lamb let to the slaughter. My one, my only, my love.
Bad enough to die from one
How I wish I could just touch her cheek. How I long for her to look at me the way she looks at him. She is beautiful, so perfect... I close my eyes and imagine what it would be like to feel her lips touch mine.
"Aeris..." I whisper her name as loud as I dare. Amazing that Jenova allowed that. She dictates everything that comes from my mouth.
Not to mention four or five
You are hopeless, Sephiroth, dear. Can't you see how she has manipulated you? She is playing with your feelings to turn you against me.
< Shut up. You've been playing with my mind for years. A change of pace would do me well. >>
I can feel her moving around in there, as always, grumbling about how grateful I should be to her, now that she's pulled me out of my disillusioned state as just another human drone.
Welcome to my world she said,
Do you feel alive she said
Doesn't she realize that I've always preferred that state?
It's all a bad dream spinning in your lonely head
Welcome to my world she said
Separated world, she stayed separated
I shiver uncontrollably, something even Jenova can't stop, as she merges into my bloodstream. It feels like ice running through my veins. Downing poison never sounded like a more welcome idea.
Down poison, down poison
Down poison, down
Get ready, child, for the moment approaches.
You weren't there for me, I was there for you
You weren't there for me, I was there for you
< Why are you doing this? Why does she have to die? Haven't I done everything you wanted? Didn't I save you from Shinra twice? >> It is a hopeless attempt, but I must try.
You weren't there for me, I was there for you
You weren't there for me, never there for me!
Because you love her, fool. Love makes you weak. Love will destroy everything that I have taught you, and you will be nothing more than a sniveling coward; alone save for your shiny toy. Love goes against everything I have planned for us; love will demolish your sanity, and reduce you to nothing but a mere shell of your former self.
You wouldn't die for me, I've already died for you
You wouldn't die for me, I've already died for you
< Even that is better than this meaningless existence. I won't be your puppet forever, you know! >>
You wouldn't die for me, I've already died for you
Even if you didn't love her, she would still have to die. There is nothing you can do.
You wouldn't die, you wouldn't die, you wouldn't die, no!
"I" stand up, and pick up my sword. Jenova snickers at my complacency; she thinks she has won. True, she did come out the victor in this round, but she hasn't broken me. She's only triggered her downfall. If I can remember only one thing of what it was like to be human, it is the fact that no one ever wanted to make me angry. Not Hojo, not President Shinra, not his son… No one.
And as of now, I am seriously pissed.
Welcome to my world she said,
Do you feel alive she said
Trembling inside, I stand at the edge of my perch. My sword feels heavy in my hands, where before it was light as a butterfly's wing. Below me Aeris continues to pray, unaware that her demise is near at hand. I want to scream a warning to her, to tell her to run.
< Get away from here, please! >> But of course she can't hear me.
It's all a bad dream spinning in your lonely head
I squeeze my eyes shut, a simple act of defiance, but Jenova takes even this away from me. She forces my eyes open, forces me to stare at the only one I truly loved, and, as I plunge downward toward her, she forces me to smile.
Welcome to my world she said
Separated world, she stayed separated
Was that really so bad, child?
Her voice sickens me. I choose to say nothing; I will wait until later to bring her down.
Down poison
Because I will not tolerate such blatant disrespect.
Down poison
I will not allow her to get away with such a crime.
Down poison
I cannot live with this monster, who would slaughter the weak and the innocent to achieve her own goal. And most of all…
Down
I cannot live without Her.