My Soul For Yours
By The Ionic Butterfly
"Once upon a time, I dreamt I was a butterfly. I was conscious only of my fancies as a butterfly, and unconscious of my individuality as a man. Suddenly, I awoke, and was myself again. Now I do not know whether I was then a man dreaming I was a butterfly, or whether I am now a butterfly dreaming that I am a man." - Chuang Tzu
Blue skies... A gentle breeze... A patch of grass... What bliss. What a perfectly beautiful day. The young man could have laid there for the rest of his life contently. But he knew there was more. Yet for most of the morning he had laid there just watching the skies and enjoying the breeze. His gun laid at his side serving no purpose for the moment.
"Irvine! Irvine Kinneas!" he heard Headmaster Martine call.
He took a deep breath. This was it. This was the end of his life as he knew it, and the beginning of something much greater. He pondered whether or not it was for the better or for the worse.
On one hand, he would be reunited with his some of his childhood friends. The very thought of seeing that bossy Quistis, that fraidy-cat Zell, that loner Squall, and more than ever the best friend he'd ever had in his life, that inspiration named Selphie made him grin. They'd all be together again. They were the only excuse he had for a family. They'd be fighting for the same cause...
To kill the only excuse they had as a mother. And he was to pull the trigger. What an awful fate had befallen them. He still did not understand why their Matron, as wonderful as she was, had to be killed. He wondered how they felt about it. He knew for sure he didn't want to do it. It would be up to him completely to pull the trigger and release the bullet to kill her. None of the others would have so much pressure placed on them.
He was afraid of himself and where his life was headed. I fluttered down on a breeze to give him comfort.
As I approached him, he gently and carelessly held his hand up with his fingers imaging a gun. I lighted on his finger and time slowed down for his soul and me. The man hidden within him, his soul, spoke to me with the same carefree attitude I'd watched him portray while he had been at Galbadia Garden.
"Trade souls with me. You'll take my body, I'll take yours. My soul for yours. Come on, little butterfly. I know you have to power to do it," his soul said in a lighthearted manner, half believing that I indeed had the power.
"No, no, no. I have to be me. You have to be you. You must live your own life."
"Then at least guide my cursed path. Come on. Guide me."
"I can offer words, for this Garden is my home and I wish to remain here. Remember your friends, and do what your heart says it right no matter what you are instructed to do. Do what is right for you, your friends, and the world. Everyone will love you for it. Don't be afraid to go with these people, because if you do what your heart tells you, only the best will come from it. Your heart is full of love, let that guide you."
His soul sighed. "How vague that is, you silly thing. Come on, take my place. Let me be you. I want your life of carefree wandering!"
"Live your own life and you shall love it. We share the same values, Irvine. But your life is greater than mine and I do not want that responsibility."
"Trade with me!" it laughed at me.
"Never!" I laughed back. Truly, he was a masterpiece.
"Damn you!" his soul said with a smile.
Then his mind, oblivious to our conversation, said, "BANG!" His finger shot as if it were a gun, and I fluttered away smiling. If only I could have stayed with him to watch what would befall him... He had such a kind soul.
Irvine Kinneas stood up and looked around at me, grinning. I found myself wondering if he had somehow known what his soul was saying to me, and if he had somehow heard my advice. Somewhere within my soul I felt that even if he hadn't heard my words, he understood me.
"BANG yourself," I thought, as he left me in a confused state to join his friends as an assassin. After all, isn't life just one big BANG?
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