The Day the Epoch Ran Out of Gas Part 3

By The Storyteller

"So close, no matter how far...
Couldn't be much more from the heart...
Forever trusting who we are...
And nothing else matters...
Never opened myself this way...
Life is ours, we live it our way...
All these words I don't just say...
And nothing else matters..."

Magus sat on his bed with his guitar, singing the song that he had intended for Lucca, Nothing Else Matters by Metallica. He envisioned Lucca... as the words emerged from his throat…

"Trust I seek and I find in you...
Every day for us something new...
Open mind for a different view...
And nothing else matters..."

He didn't know that Marle and Lucca were listening outside the door.

"I think this is the song he was going to sing to you!" Marle whispered.

Lucca sighed. She almost felt bad for him. Almost.

"Never cared for what they do...
Never cared for that they know...
But I know..."

Lucca listened intently. She understood everything he was saying... it could only fit in his situation. But why did it have to be her?

"Umm... hey, uh, Magus?" Marle said, quietly.
"Do you need something?"
"Yeah... Umm... me and Lucca were just a little scared..."
"Just you!" said Lucca, correcting Marle.
"You can come in."
"Wow! Thanks!" Marle yelled.
"Don't get used to it. I'm on a nice streak. It should run out any day now..."

Marle dragged Lucca over to Magus's bed. Marle jumped to his side and sat next to him, eyeing his biceps. Lucca trudged to his other side and sat quietly, staring at the bed sheets.

"What are you people so scared of?"
"It's... well, someone's out to get us, and I thought we should all stay together..."
"What about the other two, Glenn and Crono?"
"Crono's downstairs, he'll be fine. But Glenn is what I'm worried about."
"He's gone?"
"Yeah..." Marle said. She suddenly turned toward Magus, looking at him eagerly, pushing her chest outward.
"Magus... will you protect us?"
"Cleavage, Marle. Put it away." Magus said, turning toward Lucca, noticing that she had laid back and fallen asleep.
"She's gone..."
"So will you protect us?"
"You don't need protection. You still have your magic, and your crossbow, somewhere... where do you keep that thing anyway?"
"It's none of your business. Are you going to protect us or what?"
"Oh... alright... but--"
"You promise?"
"Okay... I promise."

Marle grabbed Magus and wrapped her arms around his midsection, grasping him tightly. Magus lifted his arms, but couldn't manage to shake Marle's hormone driven behavior. Somewhat disgusted, Magus gave up and put his arm around her shoulder.

* * *

Crono slept in the bed. It was a large, comfortable bed, with tons of pillows on it. But for some reason, something felt sharp… whatever it was, it poked him awake. He stood and shook his red locks, noticing small shards flying from his spikes. He shook out his clothes too, after taking them off. They were full of holes. Crono thought about it for a second… and tried to backtrack his steps… he walked into the room, didn't bother turning on the light because he didn't need it, then he just pulled back the covers and jumped in…

Crono went to the wall and switched on the light. He examined the bed and the floor, finding sharp pieces of red material all over. He had slept on broken pieces of something…

He examined the floor closer, looking for more pieces of this red material. He noticed a large hunk of metal on the floor beside his pillow… he picked it up and examined it. It looked like some sort of toy that was supposed to be on wheels. However, there was only one wheel in the corner. Crono decided to go show Lucca, see what she could make of it. As he left the room, he bumped into Spekkio, who had just walked inside.

"Hello, Crono."
"Where Spekkio been?"
"Outside, sleeping. I like sleeping in the trees… its so relaxing…"
"Spekkio weird."
"What are you doing coming from Magus's room?"
"Magus woom? No Magus woom. Magus change woom."
"Oh… what's that you're holding?"
"A TOY?"

Spekkio grabbed the hunk of the car from Crono's hands and examined it. His eyes started tearing up uncontrollably…

"Did you do this?" asked Spekkio, as he cried.
"Me no do. Deesa there." Crono replied, pointing to the room.
"Who did this?"
"Meesa dunno."
"Crono? Do you realize what this was?"
"Meesa no care. Meesa tired."
"It's the end of the world as we know it…"

* * *

Marle squeezed Magus's midsection tightly, squeezing the air out of him.

"You are awfully toned..."
"Put the sex drive away. The last thing I need is another girl lusting after me with no intentions of commitment."

Marle was shocked.

"Did you just say that?"
"I said that."
"And you're sure you're not gay?"

Magus was fed up with being called gay. Unable to take it anymore, he threw Marle's arms off of him and pushed her down on the bed, his arms forcing her shoulders to the mattress.

"Go to sleep."

Magus let go of her and left. Marle, who was almost scared, wondered if she had crossed the line...

* * *

Magus sat in the next room, deep in thought. Why was everyone calling him gay? He had no interest in the male figure at all, except for his own, which was totally natural. He had never liked men, nor would he ever. The entire thought made him cringe. But why do they insist on saying things like that to him? And why do they refer to a time when he was gay, if such a time never existed?

And what was with Lucca and Marle? Why were they so eager to be with him, now that they found his liking for music? Magus wondered, thinking back to the days when he would watch the E! True Hollywood Story at night. They did have histories of musical groups, with some of the events in those shows pertaining to his past, the days when the band first existed and he was still in his teenage years. But things weren't like that anymore. Back in the day, concert nights would lead into liaisons with many young women. But that wasn't the case anymore.

But why? It wasn't the same anymore. If he still acted as if he were seventeen, he would have given in to Marle's needs in a heartbeat, as he did with Lucca. But it was different with Lucca. He started to see her differently... and actually began to have feelings for her, which he had never ever had before. But after Lucca's harsh public rejection, he felt empty. Sighing, Magus laid back on the bed.

What was his problem? Was he in love? No... Magus had seen his share of soap operas and bad romantic comedy movies. Love wasn't a problem he had to deal with, at least not yet. He was just tired of being by himself all the time, with nobody to share with, nobody to spend his time with, nobody to talk to, nobody to take care of, nobody that would take care of him. It was then that Magus realized his real problem.

He was lonely.

* * *

Crono sat at the kitchen table. Spekkio told him to wait there while he examined the pieces of the toy car in the room that he thought was Magus's. Crono took the Media Crystal in his hand and set it on float, after turning it on to something called "News Radio." But it fizzled out shortly, and dropped to the floor, shattering into a hundred pieces.

Crono stood, avoiding the sharp glass. He jumped on the table to protect his feet and jumped outward, towards the front room, where he walked to go and sit by the windows. At first he was surprised by what he saw… the same painting of Magus in white that had been sitting there ever since Magus's "transformation" that hung on the walls. But he ignored it, and sat on a large comfy couch.

Glenn was there too, walking behind him, following him. If he couldn't get anyone else's attention, he'd have to try to get the attention of Crono… and somehow decipher his odd Gungan dialect. Glenn dared not move too fast, it might make Crono angry, and he was liable to chase him with a broom, or worse, his sword…

A figure emerged from the shadows on the far wall. Her silvery eyes glowed in the darkness, as her hair shook in the wind, even though there were no windows open.

"Who you, girl? Deesa Magus castle!"

He was barely able to finish his statement before the girl chanted a small series of words. Crono's body began to glow white, then green, as his body shrunk. Glenn watched in horror as he turned…

Into a baby kangaroo.

Crono bounced off the couch and tried to run toward the girl, but she lifted her cape over her head and disappeared into nothingness. Crono wanted to scream at her… he tried to hard… but all that would come out of his mouth was a song. Glenn ran over to Crono, and started yelling at him.

"Crono! You're a bloody kahngahroo!"

Crono just sat and hummed Beethoven's 9th Symphony.

"Crono? Why ahre yeeu huhmming? Say some bleedin' wuhrds! I duhn't care abeeut your ahccent, I hahve one teeu! I sohnd British!"

Crono started to hum Chariots of Fire.


Crono nodded. He continued to hum. Glenn noticed the top of Crono's head. It still was adorned with Crono's red spikes, the only thing about him that ever gave him away. This gave Glenn an idea. He told Crono about a simple idea... Glenn would grab Crono's hair, and Crono would ride them both to safety, right?

Crono, setting the mood for Glenn's ingenious plan, hummed the William Tell Overture. Glenn snatched onto Crono's tail and climbed upward toward his red locks, unaware that he was grabbing too hard. Crono started hopping wildly. Glenn was unaware that he was squeezing too hard… Crono galloped all around the room, bouncing off of the couch in pain…

* * *

Meanwhile, Marle, who had dozed off after Magus left, awoke suddenly at the sound of the crash. Her heart was pounding in fear. She shook Lucca awake.

"I heard something."
"What? Uh?"
"Lucca, I heard something. A crash came from downstairs."
"Oh... wait... downstairs? CRONO!"

Lucca jumped from the bed and followed Marle into the hallway.

* * *

Magus heard the sound loud and clear. Something very valuable and very fragile managed to find its way to the floor. Sighing, Magus stood from the bed and walked into the hallway, finding Marle and Lucca waiting there.

"Aren't you two supposed to be asleep?"
"There was a crash and it woke us..."

Magus began to walk casually down the stairs.

"Wait! You said you'd protect us, right?"
"You still think you need protection?"
"Please..." Marle pleaded, while a silent Lucca rolled her eyes.
"You haven't been watching enough Oprah."

Magus turned again and walked down the stairs with Marle and Lucca in close proximity. Magus noticed the shards of glass crystal on the floor.

"Magus, I swear, it wasn't like that before. Honest. I didn't do it."
"I didn't say you did. You were in my room."
"I know... but I didn't tell you that before, the crystal had a sword mark in it..."
"The same familiar mark?"

Sighing, Magus turned and walked forward, down the halls near the front door, and turned into the front room, where he heard someone humming a piece of classical music...

* * *

Crono hopped around the front room, bouncing off of the furniture. Glenn was barely able to keep hold on Crono's hair. A shadowy figure made its way through the doorway into the front room. Crono recognized the figure of Magus as it emerged from the lighted hallway, and he ran toward it, stopping short a few feet in front of Magus, sending Glenn flying, hitting Magus in the worst of all places…

Crono couldn't help but start humming the theme from the Nutcracker.

"Crono? Is that Crono?"
"No, Marle it's a kangaroo with a feather duster on its head! Yes its Crono!" replied Lucca.
"Magus! Magus turn him back into Crono!"
"…Can't you see… I'm in a bit of… pain... here???" said Magus, in agony.
"SO?" replied Lucca.

Glenn managed to lift himself from the floor, in a daze. He didn't know that he went flying…

"Crono… bloody idiot…"
"That was you! That friggin hurt!"
"Whaht huhrt?"

Magus did a small chant while hunched over, and he turned Glenn back into a human.

"Thanks! That was annoying!"

Magus looked up and stared at him angrily. By then he had recovered, and chanted another small spell, turning the kangaroo back into a human.

"Meesa Crono? Thank Magus! Green hair girl, turn me kangawoo!"
"Yeah, and she turned me into a newt!"
"Umm… guys, I'd hate to interfere with this little game you have going," said Marle, "But I'd have to remind Glenn and Crono that they're not wearing any clothes."

Glenn and Crono looked downward, realizing they were right. They went running to try and find their outfits, while Marle and Lucca caught glimpses of the two racing nudists.

"It's a ladies world, isn't it Marle…"
"It certainly is, Lucca."
"Could you girls put your hormones away? Although I'd like to say that I turned those two into odd animals with strange speaking habits, the fact is that I didn't and someone else did."
"Magus is right… we may have Glenn and Crono back, but the person who did it is still out there, and is after us."

Magus thought for a second. Someone, obviously a girl according to Crono's and Glenn's ranting, knew magic. And knew some good stuff too. This girl had to be pretty powerful to be able to turn people into animals. However, the girl probably wasn't a master of the art, since the spell hadn't been completed. If the girl had done it correctly, Glenn and Crono wouldn't have kept their hairstyles.

"What are you thinking about?" asked Marle, breaking Magus's silence.
"Thank you for making me lose my train of thought. Now go back to bed!"
"Fine, but you're coming too, right?"
"Yes. Just go. Shoo! And take a cold shower! Or take any shower for goodness sake…"

Marle took the arm of Lucca, the walking zombie, and dragged her away. Magus stayed behind, thinking carefully, until he noticed a small glint on the floor. It was a strand of hair.

"Jesus... this looks like dental floss..."

Magus was referring to the hair's incredible thickness, and wondered about the shampoo the girl was using, so he could get some of his own. Also, the length of the hair was incredible, longer than Magus's own beautiful blue hair. After careful examination, though, Magus discovered split ends.

Wrapping the strand of hair around his fingers, he turned and made his way into the hall, after Marle and Lucca. After walking into the kitchen, he noticed everyone sitting at the kitchen table, with Spekkio standing there at the farthest end.

"Did you do this, Magus?"
"Do what?"

Spekkio pointed to the heap of scraps on the table. In the center was a hunk of metal, around it, familiar scraps of red and silver metal with broken glass.

"Someone broke your toy, Spekkio?"
"This wasn't a toy!"
"It's a fake car. It has no worth. These people don't even know what a car is!"
"I know what a car is!" said Marle. "I was watching this thing on the Media Crystal back before the concerts, and they had this show with this car. It had a nasty title though. It was named something like 'Goop' or 'Crust' or something..."
"Yeah! That! Grease Lightning!"
"Where do you think I got my stage name from?"
"Grease Lightning, Janus Lightning! It still sounds cheap though."
"As cheap as that dye job on your head?"

Lucca managed to hold Marle back, as she was about to attack Magus for his remark.

"Can we get back to the point here?" asked Glenn, weakly. "We're all tired here, especially me, since I've been a newt for the past thirteen hours!"
"Glenn, Crono... Lucca, Marle... Magus... I'd like you all to meet what's left of the most important thing in the world."
"It's a car. How can a car be important?" said Magus, at the end of his string.
"Spekkio, we have more important things to think about. I have to figure out how to fix the Epoch's Infinite Improbability Drive so we can get home!" added Lucca, managing to talk through her sleep.
"Infinite Improbability Drive? Well, I mean, they have one of those in Ozzie's Fort, but the--"
"Ozzie's Fort?" asked Lucca.
"That's right, I forgot... Ozzie has one, he uses it to power the castle." said Magus.
"But the toy car is--"
"I'm looking to get you people out of here, so come on, who is coming with me to Ozzie's?"
"I can't swim like a frog anymore, so count me out." said Glenn.
"I'm not carrying Crono over the water because he's to heavy." said Magus.
"You can carry me in your arms, Magus... like that Superman on the Media Crystal..." said Marle, winking.
"Fine, but if you try anything I'll toast ya."

Magus and Lucca made their way out of the castle, while Spekkio yelled to no avail.

"Okay, well, I--"
"I'm going to bed." said Marle.
"Me too..." Glenn added
"Meesa sleepy too." Crono said also.

Marle, Glenn, and Crono all left Spekkio to go sleep in separate rooms. Spekkio sighed and sat on a nearby chair.

"Why do they ignore me?"

* * *

Hmm…. So we see, Spekkio's car seems to be really important to him, but for what reason? And what about this new mission presented to go and find a new Infinite Improbability Drive? Hmm… mayhaps more might be revealed in the next chapter…


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