A Chance of Rain
By Wayward Tempest
Dawn was just breaking on the dead. The sun crept up the hillside and gently
traced the tops of the tombstones with an orange light. The beads of dew
sparkled in reply as they waited to be evaporated by the heat. Birds sang
praises to the morning. The world was coming to life again in a cemetery.
The inhabitants carried on in their silence. Lying far beneath the golden
rays. Though calm and peaceful, a growing sense of foreboding was quickly
absorbing the passive surroundings. Armies of dark clouds from the north
were making their way across the sky, pursuing their quest to cover the sun,
and bring rain to the earth. A clap of thunder heralded their invasion.
Quick and assertive footsteps broke through the revelry as they climbed up
the pathway of the slopping hill. They came to a halt at the top as the man
reached into his pocket and pulled out a handkerchief to wipe the sweat from
his brow. His hand trembled violently as he brought the cloth up to his face.
His breathing was quick and shallow as if his lungs had tightened like fists
within his chest. A pain shot through his shoulder. He closed his eyes as
he tried to regain his composure. His free hand reached into the breast pocket
of his shirt and pulled out a small bottle. He worked to undo the lid and
cursed as the tremors caused his hands to slip and the lid to fly from its
position spewing the small pills from their prison from which they fell with
tiny snaps as they collided with the pavement. The man fell to his knees
as he grabbed for them. He took one between his fingers and shoved it in
his mouth rolling it under his tongue.
His hands hit the ground as he sat for a moment allowing the medication to
take effect. As his pain subsided he began picking up the pills, carefully,
like he was picking up pieces of broken glass. The flowers he had brought
along were lying on the ground beside his foot, where he had dropped them.
As he moved across the ground his foot slid into them, rolling them over
and grinding them against the pavement. He felt this and slammed his hand
down in anger as he quickly turned to survey the damage. The petals in their
fragility had become torn and tattered by the touch of the leather shoe and
remained a dismembered phantom of what their beauty held just moments earlier.
He took a petal from the ground and rolled it over and over in his hand staring
at its curving edges and feeling the soft silk caress the tips of his fingers
like gentle kisses from long ago. He collected the rest of the petals holding
them in cupped hands. Tears stung his vision as memories reached from the
trenches of his mind and grabbed hold of his soul, rendering him motionless.
The petals were picked up and stirred with the breeze and they fell from
his hands. There wasnt much to be salvaged. And he was reminded of
his family, which he also managed to destroy single handedly. Slipping through
his fingers like sand. A clap of thunder roared in the distance. The dead
continued to sleep.
***********
Squall Leonhart poked at his breakfast idly with a fork as he looked around
the cafeteria and then again to the empty seat beside him. He watched the
door attentively and his eyes moved slowly scanning from corner to corner
the entire room, leaving no detail unturned. She wasnt anywhere to
be found.
Ya know Squall, Zell piped up as he was chewing a mouthful of
food across the table from him, No matter how talented you are, I
dont think you can just will her to be in that seat with the powers
of your mind. He made a little hocus pocus gesture with his hand.
Squall gave him a look.
Yeah, I know, I know, Zell droned, Whatever.
Exactly. Squall replied with a smirk.
So whats up? Zell questioned. Are you two having
an argument or something?
No, not at all, Squall said. Its just
something
doesnt feel right today. I went by her dorm room this morning and knocked
on the door. She never answered me. So I assumed she was sleeping and I came
down here. But theres only ten minutes before class starts and shes
never been this late coming down.
So, shes sleeping in Squall. Geez, man, you worry too much.
Shes not made of glass. Zell smiled. And thats exactly
what shed tell you.
Yeah I know, your right, Im getting bent out of shape for nothing.
Its just
like I said
something doesnt feel right.
So go try her again, Zell replied, Get up there and sweep
her off her feet. Kiss her good morning. Chicks dig that stuff.
Been taking lessons from Irvine have we?
Just then a girl in pigtails strolled past behind Zell, but not before bending
down and whispering something in the young martial artists ear.
Zell blushed and gave Squall a goofy grin. Gotta go man, he said
as he got up from the table, And like I said, go up there and get her,
and if somethings wrong, talk to her, be there for her, thats
what couples do.
Im glad your such an expert on the subject now Dr. Zell.
The blonde laughed. Damn right! The love doctor is in baby! He
pumped his fist in the air triumphantly and then gave his friend a wave.
Catch ya later man.
Later, Squall replied.
***********
The room was black save for the bit of light that radiated from the window
and filtered in to cast a few shadows within reach. The sun had long disappeared
being swallowed by the dark clouds, heavy and swollen with rain. A figure
sat by the window in an old worn out chair staring emptily out into the world
beyond her secluded darkness. The only sounds were the slight whispers of
her slow and even breathing and the deep sigh of the dog that rested his
head upon her knee and looked up at her with a soulful expression. She reached
out with a hand and gently scratched behind his ear. While most dogs would
grin and pant happily at the gentle touch of their masters, Angelo remained
quiet and steadfast, his gaze never leaving her face. He was no stranger
to the emptiness of her eyes. This overwhelming feeling haunted his friend
on the exact same day every year. Deeper than sadness, it was like an unseen
demon attacking her from within. Something he couldnt bite with his
teeth or scratch with his claws. So he fought the demon the only way he knew
how, by giving her assurance, that she wasnt alone.
A loud knock reverberated inside the small room causing the dog to react.
With quick movements he was crouched ready in front of the door. If the demon
had finally decided to emerge itself, he would defend her.
Rinoa appeared not to have heard anything. Her world had become a silent
void.
Rinoa? Came an uncertain voice from beyond the door. Are
you awake?
Angelo recognized the voice and barked. She was very close to this man. Perhaps
he could do more for her than the limited capabilities of a dog.
Just checking to see if you were ok, class starts in about five
minutes. He paused. You coming?
Im fine Squall, she mouthed with her lips, though the sound
refused to come out of them.
Squall turned to leave thinking maybe she had already left. Angelo barked
again, his tone urgent and pleading.
Rinoa? Squall called again. He walked back up to the door. Something
was definitely wrong. He took out his Garden key which he obtained serving
as commander. He didnt want to invade her privacy, but the caring feelings
she had resurfaced in him urged him forward and he was compelled to think
with his heart this time, not with his head.
He slid the key card through the lock and then called to her again. Rinoa,
Im going to come in, alright?
There was still no answer.
He cracked open the door slowly like a small child cautiously opening a dark
closet door, afraid of what he may find on the inside.
He was met with darkness. His eyes scanned for the only available light source
coming from the single window. Her silhouette curved around the light and
he could see that her head was turned facing the window. He took a couple
of steps forward.
Rinoa? he whispered.
Angelo whined and he looked down towards the dog, which nudged his hand and
trotted back over to the window and sat next to the young womans leg.
Squall stepped forward until he reached the window, and then kneeled before
her. A moment of panic shot through his mind as he thought of her being under
the influence of another sorceress again. A lump formed in his throat and
he swallowed hard. Carefully, he reached out and placed a hand on her knee.
Rinoa.
She turned from the window to look at him. He was startled by the emptiness
in her eyes, which normally glowed with their own inner fire. The look they
had were of loss and of torment, it shocked him. He had never seen that look
in her eyes. Yes, he had seen her frightened; he had seen her angry, and
he had held her as she cried. But the last time he had seen this emptiness
was a reflection in an old mirror, which resided in an orphanage by the ocean.
And it didnt belong on her face at all.
Does it ever hurt, Squall? Rinoa questioned him softly as she
studied his face.
Squall snapped out of his contemplation as the sound of her voice startled
him off his feet.
What? he asked confused.
Your scar, does it ever hurt?
Sometimes, he replied, The temperature affects it.
I can never feel mine, Rinoa said, They said the nerve
endings were destroyed. But I swear Squall today it does, somehow. Like the
wound is rejuvenating itself.
He looked at her quizzically, unsure of what to say.
It commemorates the anniversary, no matter how much I want to forget."
She closed her eyes. Ive tried for so long.
He reached out and took her by the hand.
You have a scar? he asked.
We all have scars, she replied, Only a few of them are
visible.
She let go of his hand and stood up she walked forward a couple of steps
and then turned her back to him.
Theres a reason I wear this, she said as she removed her
trademark blue coat.
She raised her shirt up in the back and brought her arms out of the tank
top and brought the material to the front of her body, around her neck, leaving
the skin of her back exposed.
Squall was shocked at something he had never noticed before. Up around her
shoulders almost where the wings were painted on her cloak, were long and
faded scars. If they had been smoother, and the edges were not so jagged,
they would have resembled the painted wings exactly, as if they had seared
through the material and imprinted themselves on her skin. However they appeared
to resemble the wings of an imp, rather than an angel. He could see they
were the remains of burns.
Its all thats left, she whispered.
Of what? he asked slowly, unsure if she wished to talk about
it with him, uncertain that he wanted to wish it forth from her soul.
A car accident, 12 years ago, today, She stated. Then she proceeded
to sort through the wreckage of memories, and told him all she could remember.
******12 years earlier******
And the skies above Deling will remain clear tonight giving all you
listeners out there a full view of the stars. Not a chance of rain in sight.
So put an arm around the one you love, turn up the volume as we spin the
number one single from Julia Heartillys new album, heres Eyes
On
The DJs voice was silenced as fingers turned the car radios knob
counter clockwise. The hand returned to its position on the wheel as the
driver made a sideway glance to the passenger side.
I get so tired of that song, Julia said as she smiled and gave
her daughter a goofy face.
Rinoa giggled then began humming the tune.
Oh, very funny, Julia laughed. She reached over with a hand and
began tickling the young girl.
Ok, Ill quit, Ill quit! The five-year-old squealed
with laughter.
She stopped the torrent of tickling and allowed the young girl to catch her
breath.
Did you have fun at your aunts house?"
Yeah! Rinoa replied. We drew pictures.
That sounds like fun.
Uh-huh, I made one for you, she said excitedly. She brought a
crumpled piece of paper from her pocket and carefully unfolded it.
See?
Julia waved at the security guard and pulled the vehicle into the long driveway.
Lets look at it when we get in the house kiddo.
Ok momma.
The two made their way up the front steps. Julia unlocked the front door
and pushed it open, allowing the light to spill from the house, drenching
the two of them in an illuminated tidal wave.
Julia made her way into the living room where she collapsed into a big reclining
chair and sighed.
Im exhausted, she said as she put a hand to her head.
Im not! Rinoa yelled as she ran and leapt into her
mothers lap.
Julia yelped in surprise and quickly grabbed her daughter up into her arms
and hugged her close.
If you think Im going to let go your crazy, Julia said.
Rinoa struggled as she laughed.
The woman finally released her and ruffled the girls hair with her
hand.
So lets see your picture.
Rinoa reached into her pocket and pulled out the crumpled paper.
Here ya go, she said. Its a picture of you when you
went to see the doctor today.
Oh, its beautiful! Julia exclaimed. Youre a regular
artist sweetie.
But
is my skin really that orange?
Rinoa giggled.
No, Aunt Linda didnt have many good colors.
Julia laughed. No, Im sure she didnt, she never could keep
a box of crayons when we were little. She was always breaking them and losing
them and blaming it all on me.
The child smiled up at her mother. Then the corners of her mouth fell, as
her expression grew serious for a moment.
Momma?
Hmm?
Why did you have to go to the doctor? she questioned. Are
you sick?
Julia smiled. Far from it darling, in fact, I have great news.
Really?
Yep, she raised an eyebrow and met the excitement of her daughter;
betraying it in her voice, Want to be the first to know?
Yes!
Well, I just found out today, that
she paused for dramatic
effect.
That what momma? Rinoa said loudly.
She gave the child a lop-sided grin.
Youre going to be a big sister.
Today? the child yelled excitedly, Right now?
Julia chuckled. No dear, these things take time.
Tomorrow?
Try nine months.
Is that a long time?
She winked at the girl, Itll be here before you know it.
Oh, I cant wait! Rinoa replied and she reached up and wrapped
her arms around her mothers neck. This is so wonderful!
The woman hugged the child back with fervor, delighted in hearing the news
herself all over again. She was amazed that she had kept it to herself for
this long. It was all she could do to tell her sister that shed call
her later after she finished telling her family the news. The look Linda
had given her was priceless; she wished shed brought a camera.
Where is the baby now? Rinoa questioned.
Here. Julia took her daughters hand and guided it down to her
abdomen. Right in here.
The child looked in fascination as she moved her fingers across the fabric
of her mothers dress.
Hi baby, Im Rinoa, she whispered, Its nice
to meet you.
Julia smiled lovingly and ran her fingers through her daughters hair
before kissing her on the forehead.
Is this where I came from mommy?
Nope, we found you under a cabbage leaf.
Really? the childs eyes grew wide.
No, Im kidding, Julia chuckled. You came from the
same spot.
Very funny momma, the girl gave her a mock scowl.
I know, I know, I should have been a comedian.
A what?
Never mind.
You want to know where you are now? She questioned the young
girl.
Im in the living room. The girl answered puzzled.
Yes, baby, but Im not talking about a physical sense.
Huh?
Theres going to be some big changes now, things will be different
and I know it will be hard for you. But youre a very brave girl, and
I know you can take on anything that comes your way.
The girl nodded.
And remember, no matter how difficult this may seem to you later on,
no matter what, youll always be right here. Julia put a hand
on her own chest. Right here in my heart.
Rinoa curled up against her mother and hugged her tightly. They remained
this way for some time, basking in the warmth of the firelight, which fought
an invisible battle with the chill of the air of an October evening. Sleep
almost claimed them both until the sudden turn of a key in the front door
alerted the childs ears.
Daddys home! she said as she jumped from the chair and
sprinted full force towards the door.
The door swung open revealing a man in a well-tailored military suit, his
tie undone and draped on his shoulders. His eyes clouded and his posture
slumped. He stumbled through the doorway. The girl never noticed.
Hi daddy! she said happily.
He looked down at her. Hey sweetheart, he said. His speech somewhat
slurred. Hows my girl?
Great daddy! she said, suddenly wrinkling her nose at the funny
smell that suddenly assaulted it. Mommy has the best news in the world
for you!
Does she now? he said, his eyes spilling some of the anger he
was hiding.
Tell you what, why dont you go upstairs for a minute or two and
play while I have a little talk with your mother.
But
I wanted to tell you the good news, she said in somewhat
of a pout.
He acted like he never heard her words, just her tone of voice.
Rinoa, dont disobey me, go up to your room right now, his
tone getting stronger.
She looked at him strangely, finally noticing his haggard appearance.
What
Damn it, Rinoa, go upstairs right now! he bellowed giving the
girl a hateful look.
The child took off in a run, frightened. She bumped into her mother as she
was making her way from the living room to see what the commotion was about.
Rinoa stumbled a bit but kept on running.
What the hell is going on? Julia questioned as she stepped into
the hallway.
Richard Caraway narrowed his eyes at the woman before him. Thats
exactly what Id like to know.
What are you talking about? She asked stunned by his appearance
as he stepped into the light.
Where have you been?
What?
I said where the hell have you been?
Suddenly, the young woman remembered something that had been long forgot
during the anxiety and excitement of the afternoon.
Oh my God, she said. The banquet.
Yes, the man answered, his voice dripping with sarcasm, Oh
my God the banquet.
Richard, I completely forgot, the woman said apologetically,
Things have been crazy this evening and I just forgot. Im so
sorry.
Do you have any idea what an embarrassment this was for me? I spent
the entire evening trying to explain why my wife wasnt there when I
didnt even know where the hell she was!
Keep your voice down, Julia hissed.
This is my damn house and Ill speak in it however I like,
he swayed a bit.
Youve been drinking havent you?
Mind your damn business Julia!
When you come into this house intoxicated while our five-year-old child
is under the same roof, I consider it my business!
Dont raise your voice to me!
Julia took a deep breath in order to calm her anger, meeting his anger with
her own seemed to do little to calm him down.
Richard, if youll just take it easy, come in here and sit down
and I will explain everything.
I couldnt say anything but how sorry I was that you couldnt
make it. Damn it Julia, I have put things in my life on hold for this fucking
career of yours, and is this how Im repaid?
Julia lost her composure. If I recall, this whole big singing career
move was your idea! I was perfectly happy where I was to begin with!
Oh yeah, singing in a hotel bar, thats some extravagant life!
It was enough for me. I could live a normal life there. No press, no
paparazzi, I could walk outside and actually breathe without someone with
a camera in my face.
What were you doing without escort Julia? Do you know what kind of
danger you put yourself and Rinoa in?
Im very capable of taking care of myself and our daughter, you
dont have to worry about me ruining your precious image.
That is not what I was talking about!
Oh come off it! Julia said. It is too! Youre so worried
about what kind of tabloid I might end up in and how your colleagues will
react! Oh the great and wonderful General Caraway who can do no wrong!
Youre so damn perfect, arent you? But you know what? I dont
care what they want to say about me, I know the truth. Thats all that
matters to me. I dont care what anyone else thinks, and Im
going to make damn sure that my family is put before any stupid career.
Well you sure as hell could have fooled me!
Oh please! This thing tonight was about parading me around like some
novelty item so you could boost your ego. Like youve done at all the
other galas and ceremonies!
Dont flatter yourself, he said. I was worried sick,
Ive been looking for you all over Deling.
Hitting all the bars in town I see, yes thats exactly what I
do behind your back, I take our daughter bar hopping.
How dare you speak to me this way! he yelled.
I cant speak reasonably to a husband whos drunk and feeling
sorry for himself!
And then it came. A hand raised. A hand released. The sounding smack as it
made contact with her cheek echoed through the quiet house. The shock knocked
Julia to the ground, as she looked up horrified at her husband.
The slap seemed to have sobered the general as if it was he himself who had
been struck.
Julia, he whispered. Oh God, Im
Mommy? A small and frightened voice came from the stairwell.
Rinoa was stopped about midway up the steps, her face frozen in shock.
Rinoa honey, Julia said fighting back tears. Go get in
the car.
Rinoa walked carefully and slowly towards and around the two of them, heading
for the door without any questions asked.
Richard Caraway turned to look at his daughter. Rinoa, I dont
know what happened I didnt mean to
he reached out for his
daughter.
Dont you dare touch her! Julia said coming to her feet
and grabbing the girl protectively. Shes coming with me. Ill
discuss this with you when youve slept off your hangover. She
turned and grabbed her keys from the table and stormed through the front
door. Leaving behind a dazed and confused man, who was teetering on
disillusionment and reality. The last words he had spoken to his wife were
in anger. He had hit her. It would haunt his dreams for the rest of his life.
Julia cranked the cars engine and threw the vehicle in reverse as she backed
up and sped down the driveway. She didnt even stop to acknowledge the
security guard who had to dive out of the way of the oncoming vehicle.
The interior of the car was dark and silent as it sped down the deserted
highway.
Julia wiped tears from her eyes as they fell silently.
Did daddy hurt you? Rinoa asked, her voice quivering.
No angel, Im alright, she replied. Daddy just
doesnt feel good tonight. Were gonna give him a little space
tonight so he has time to feel better.
She made a sideways glance to the frightened girl.
He loves you very much sweetheart, hes just not himself right
now.
He shouldnt hit you mommy, she whispered.
I know baby, I know. He didnt really mean too, and I know hes
sorry, and hell have lots of time to think about it tonight. So dont
you worry, things will work out just fine.
Ok.
Want to go drop in on Aunt Linda again?
Yeah! Rinoa said, suddenly regaining her 5-year-old behavior.
Julia laughed again despite herself. Ok, lets go harass her for those
awesome cookies she always bakes.
Cool!
The two of them somehow managed to regain the smiles they had held earlier
in the evening.
And then it happened so fast.
Clouds seemed to move in from nowhere, sealing the light of the stars and
the autumn moon. A bolt of lightning shot out from its depths, hitting the
road directly in front of the car. Julia swerved the vehicle in reaction,
a judgment that would be fatal as the car suddenly turned and flipped down
a steep embankment. Glass and metal shattering and shrieking in the night
till the vehicle reached the bottom of the embankment.
There was darkness, and there was silence.
Julia awoke with her head screaming at her in pain. Feebly she reached and
touched her forehead, sticky fluid seeped onto her fingers. She closed her
eyes again. Briefly, her nose caught wind of an odor very strong and
recognizable. Gasoline. She opened her eyes again. She noticed that the car
had landed on its side. She looked out her window to the blackened sky above.
Another bolt of lightning illuminated the darkness briefly. She tried to
move, finding that her legs were caught in the twisted metal and plastic
of the dashboard. Panic suddenly flooded her mind as she realized which side
of the car had rolled and made contact with the ground. She quickly turned
to the passenger side. She screamed as pain shot through her side. She could
feel blood leaking from the deep wound as she looked to see a large piece
of metal protruding from her body. She immediately disregarded the grave
injury as she turned once again to find her daughter in the wreckage. Rinoa
was lying crumpled in the seat amid broken glass, her seatbelt still wrapped
around her. Her limp and still frame revealing none of the life it had just
moments earlier.
Rinoa! Julia yelled as loudly as she could. Oh God, please
no! she pleaded.
She reached out with a hand, touching the childs face. To her relief
the child stirred a bit and whimpered weakly. Tears stung Julias eyes
as she stroked the side of Rinoas face, whose eyes cracked open.
Mommy?
Im right here Rinoa, she said. Are you alright?
I think so, the child said, as she looked around suddenly becoming
alert and frightened. Theres so much glass! She began to
cry.
Shhh, Julia said in a soft voice. Were ok, were
ok. The smell of gasoline was becoming stronger.
Sparks shot up from the wreckage and she suddenly realized that they were
running out of time. Her vision began to blur, and she fought it back with
all her might. She had to get her daughter out. She had to get her away from
this car. She tried opening the car door. It was jammed. She looked at the
cracked window, patterns of shattered glass spread from the center like a
spider web. She grabbed her purse and with all the strength she had she thrust
it to the window, the fabric shielding her hand somewhat from the glass.
Mommy! Rinoa screamed.
Its ok baby, Im just trying to get us out. She turned
to the child. I want you to listen to me now. You know the talk that
we had earlier? The one about you having to be brave?
Uh-huh
Well, it looks like that time has come a bit more suddenly than expected,
and under circumstances that are a little different.
She wiped a tear from the childs face.
Your going to have to be brave now sweetie.
Alright momma.
I know you can do it baby. Now, mommys legs are stuck, and I
cant get out without help. What I want you to do, is crawl out of this
window and get up the hill there as quickly as you can, and see if you can
see anyone on the road, wave them down. Can you do that for me?
Yes, the girl sobbed.
Ill be with you, dont worry now ok? Julia took the
wedding band from her finger and placed it in Rinoas hand. You take
this with you ok? Ill be right by your side.
The child climbed from her seat and into the arms of her mother.
I love you mommy, the girl cried.
I love you too angel, so much. Tears streamed down the young
womans face. She fought back the blinding pain that came as the weight
of her daughter pressed against the gaping wound. The loss of blood was making
her dizzy.
Ill see you soon, ok? Julia said as she kissed Rinoa on
the cheek and used the last of her strength to lift her up through the window.
She watched as the figure of her daughter disappeared from view. Satisfied
that she had done all she could do, she let go, allowing the darkness to
consume her
Rinoa climbed the rest of the way and stood upon the door of the vehicle,
she carefully grabbed onto a tire and eased herself down to the ground below.
She began making her way towards the hill. She suddenly became aware of a
sticky feeling on her leg. A brief bolt of lightning illuminated the sky
as she looked to see one of her legs from the knee down, covered in blood.
She reached for it, finding no wound; she realized it wasnt her own.
Panicked she started to turn back towards the car.
Mom
She was interrupted as more sparks flew from the bottom of the vehicle, suddenly
igniting the leaking gasoline, which quickly spread to the engine.
A fireball exploded from the car, force and flames throwing Rinoa into the
air and into the ground a few feet away. She lay upon the ground face down,
unconscious and badly burned, her small fist, still wrapped tightly around
her mothers ring.
And so fate could laugh, it began to rain.
***********
I was in a coma for five weeks, Rinoa said as she continued to
gaze out the window, I spent the next three months in the hospital,
going through one reconstructive surgery after another. I barely remember
any of that.
Her voice began quivering. But, I remember waking up one time to see
him standing over me. I tried to reach out to him; his eyes were filled with
so much sorrow. And I remember him asking me, why didnt I try and help
her. All I could say was that, I tried. She buried her face in her
hands.
Squall reached for her from behind, tears stinging his own eyes at seeing
her so torn and eaten away by horrific memories. He wrapped his strong arms
around her, holding her tightly against him, as if hoping to take it away
from her, and meld it into himself.
The entire population of Deling came to her funeral Squall, she
said quietly, Everyone except me and my father.
Why didnt he go? Squall questioned.
Guilt maybe, I dont know. It was almost like he tried to forget
her, to pretend she never existed. She was never to be mentioned at all in
our house. He was still caring, but he treated me differently. I felt like
I was constantly under 24 hour surveillance, I couldnt go over to any
of my friends houses later on, and the only time I was allowed in a
car was when he was with me. And he would never take me to the cemetery to
see her, I could never bring her flowers.
The tears were flowing freely now.
It took me a long time to piece together my nightmares and remember
what exactly happened. And now that I have, I wish I had never opened the
lock on that memory.
Squall rubbed his hands over her arms comfortingly.
He sent me to take piano lessons and singing lessons. It wasnt
long after that I realized that he was training me to be the heir of the
whole singer and songwriter dynasty. I wasnt going to stand for it.
He wanted complete control of my life and my destiny. I confronted him about
it, and that was the last argument we had before I left.
I hurt him so badly.
***********
Dont turn your back on me when Im speaking to you Rinoa,
the general yelled as he stormed down the steps after the young teenager.
Oh God forbid I do anything but breathe without your permission
Caraway, she said as she wheeled around and stopped in front of him.
Of course, that will probably come next wont it?
That smart mouth of yours is going to get you into a lot of trouble!
Good! she yelled back, Maybe Ill get sent to prison,
with the years of experience I have from living here with you, it shouldnt
be much of an adjustment.
Dont raise your voice to me!
Rinoa flinched as the words resounded in her head from years ago.
Richard Caraway sighed, and tried to regain his composure. Im
only looking out for you Rinoa, these things I do, Im only trying to
protect you, and Im doing it the only way I know how.
By taking complete control of my life? Making me some entertaining
puppet like you did with mom?
I loved your mother.
Well you sure had a lousy way of expressing it.
Anger flared in the generals eyes as he took a step forward, his fist
clenched.
A low growl erupted in the room as Angelo stepped forward in front of the
girl, his head bent low in a striking position, and his teeth bore at the
older man.
Call off your dog Rinoa.
I dont tell him what to do, she shot back.
Ive had enough of this nonsense!
So have I!
Im leaving before you take anything else from me!
She began sobbing. I never got a chance to meet them.
What?
You ended two lives that night! Rinoa screamed the tears stinging
her eyes.
Richard grabbed his daughter by the arm he looked at her perplexed. Your
still here, he said, his voice trembled, betraying his inner emotion.
No, she shook her head, Not me.
What are you talking about?
The baby, she muttered.
What baby?
The reason she wasnt at your precious ceremony. She went to the
doctor, to find out for certain.
Damn it Rinoa youre not making any sense!
She was pregnant!
The man released his grip on his daughter and sank to his knees.
Yeah, thats right, she was taking care of her family, Rinoa
said, her eyes narrowing with hatred towards him.
She couldnt wait to tell you.
She
she never told me.
You never gave her a chance to! Rinoa screamed with rage. You
were so caught up in yourself that night you didnt even bother to listen
to anyone else!
He placed a hand over his face, a stifled cry escaped from his lips. God
forgive me.
If youre lucky, Rinoa spat, But I wont. Not
ever. She walked towards the door then turned once more to look at
the crumpled mess of a man on the floor.
Count me among your casualties Caraway.
With that the door slammed.
***********
I havent spoken to him in two years, Rinoa said. And
its wrong, Ive been childish and stupid, but I just cant bring
myself to face him.
Its understandable Rinoa, Squall replied.
Is it? He didnt kill them, he didnt shoot bolts of lightning
from the sky, take out the steering in the car, it couldve happened
anytime, and maybe it was just meant to be.
Then maybe you need to tell him that.
Im too ashamed. I had no right, no right at all to tell him like
that, it was horrible of me.
You were angry.
She wiped at her eyes again.
I spent my time out from under his boot trying to make a difference.
I wanted to help people; I wanted to make my mothers sacrifice worthwhile.
But all I seem to do, is screw it up. She forced a laugh. You
should know that better than anyone.
Squall lowered his head and gently kissed the scar on her back. You
saved me, he whispered.
Rinoa placed a hand upon the arm wrapped around her left shoulder and leaned
back into him. They shared in a moment of silence, watching the blackened
clouds rolling in from the horizon.
I made you miss class, Rinoa sighed heavily. Think Quistis
will excuse us?
Hey we have enough family problems around here to know how it is,
Squall smiled. Shell understand.
And whats your excuse? Rinoa questioned.
Whatever.
She laughed. Does that usually work?
Most of the time, he gave her a wink.
Im not used to you cracking jokes, its kind of scary.
Not as scary as Irvine in his leopard underwear playing the guitar
and singing love songs.
Ive created a monster, Rinoa chuckled.
She glanced at the clock on the wall then turned her head upward to look
back at him.
Wanna go catch a train?
Absolutely.
***********
The car pulled up to Deling Memorial Cemetery as the first few drops of rain
fell from the sky. A car that Rinoa recognized immediately was parked just
a few spaces away.
She shifted the bouquet of flowers nervously in her hands.
I cant believe hes here
I dont think I can do
this Squall.
Hey, Ill be waiting right here for you, he said. Angelo
whined from the back seat. Correction, WE will be waiting right here
for you.
Okay, she smiled nervously and stepped out of the car.
She made her way up the hillside and turned to glance back at the car, frightened
and unsure.
Squall smiled genuinely and waved, encouraging her forward.
She saw the general as she came over the top of the hill. He was kneeling
by the headstone fidgeting with something on the ground.
She didnt know where to begin, didnt know what to say. Her face
was frozen, but her feet kept moving.
She stopped just inches behind him. He didnt seem to hear her approach.
Carefully she placed a hand on his shoulder. He jumped in alarm and turned
his head around. His eyes were childlike and heartbroken.
Oh, Rinoa, he said he returned his gaze to the mangled flowers
he had placed against the cool marble. I
I destroyed the
flowers. He lost his composure and began to weep bitterly. Rinoa dropped
the flowers to the side and knelt down with him, wrapping her arms around
him in an embrace. He returned it fiercely, crying oceans into her shoulder.
I didnt mean too, he whispered.
Its okay, the young woman said through tears of her own,
Ive brought enough for both of us.
Nothing else needed to be said.
***********
Squall Leonhart watched the sun break free of the clouds, burning away all
traces of the rain. He smiled as the rays beamed from the heavens revealing
a beautiful and endless blue sky.
Not a chance of rain in sight, he said as he smiled.
Angelo stared out the window and barked a couple of times.
And somewhere on the wind, a faint voice could be heard; it fell cascading
through the hillside and Squall couldnt be sure if he had actually
heard it or not, but he was finished with having a logical explanation for
everything
it made his head hurt.
Scars, no matter how many there are, no matter how deep they may
run, when they heal, become something beautiful.