Weathering the Storm
By Wayward Tempest
silently if, out of not knowable
nights utmost nothing, wanders a little guess
(only which is this world) more my life does
not leap than with the mystery your smile
sings or if(spiraling as luminous
they climb oblivion) voices who are dreams,
less into heaven certainly earth swims
than each my deeper death becomes your kiss
losing through you what seemed myself, I find
selves unimaginably mine; beyond
sorrows own joys and hopings very fears
yours is the light by which my spirits born
yours is the darkness of my souls return
--you are my sun, my moon, and all my stars
--e.e. cummings
Squall, tell me again that youve never held your face up to the
sky and tasted the rain?
Rinoa looked back to the young man standing in the doorway. She threw up
her arms and twirled around in the torrential downpour.
He sighed and leaned against the doorframe. No Rinoa, I have never
held my face up to the sky and tasted the rain.
And why is that?
Because
its
Silly? She lowered her voice to mock his serious tone.
No, its crazy. Youd better come inside before you catch
My death of cold, she finished. Yes, I know. She
pushed the dripping bangs from her eyes.
Cmon Squall, dont you ever like to take chances?
Not when there doesnt seem to be a point, he replied.
She laughed. You thrive on having a reason for everything dont
you? Okay, the point is Squall, and you might want to sit down for this
one
its fun.
Fun? he questioned. Im sorry, I just dont see
the fun in getting drenched just to get a few drops of water on my tongue.
Its much easier and comes in much larger quantities when you pour a
glass from a faucet.
True, but it always tastes different this way, she said and followed
through by darting her tongue from her mouth. Its like catching stars
on your tongue.
Probably tastes different because theres acid in it, he
said coolly.
Oh ha, ha. Well maybe if you try it, the acid will melt that sarcasm
off your tongue, she countered.
Touché. But Ill just take your word for it.
Now whats the fun in that? Come on; open yourself up to new
experiences! This is my goal for you.
Oh, so Im just a project am I?
She laughed. Yes, originally entitled Project Meanie, it
has now been upgraded since your recent promotion.
Project Asshole huh?
Yep, patent pending of course.
He finally broke his serious demeanor as he chuckled. Well miss scientist,
your lab rat truly wishes that you would come in out of the rain so that
research will not be interrupted by pneumonia.
Come and get me, she dared.
No thank you, I have already had my shower for today thanks to your
dog.
She laughed. He really likes you, you know. Usually when I give that
command he tears the hapless victims throat out.
He looked at her incredulously.
Yes, Im kidding, she winked.
Where is he anyway?
Somewhere dry I would imagine. He hates the rain. Reminds me of someone
I know.
I dont hate the rain.
Oh yeah? Prove it.
A bolt of lightning suddenly flashed in the sky. It was followed immediately
by an earth-shattering boom, which caused Rinoa to yelp and shut her eyes
tightly. When she opened them again the doorway a few feet in front of her
was empty. She nearly jumped out of her skin once more as a pair of arms
wrapped around her shoulders from behind.
I win, he whispered in her ear. A surge of chills ran up and
down her spine. And it wasnt from the cold.
She turned her head as he leaned his head over her shoulder and took a few
drops of rain on his tongue. He looked at her slyly, grinning like a Cheshire
cat.
That was unfair. Can I call a foul? she giggled playfully.
Nope. My rules.
Since when?
Since I clearly have the upper hand.
Hmm
guess that works for me.
Another bolt of lightning ripped the sky in two in front of them as they
watched. They could feel the thunder roar in the pit of their stomachs.
I think its time to go in, she said eagerly.
Glad you see it my way.
The two of them made their way into the orphanage as the blackened sky was
settling in to dusk. The sky made it seem like it was night already in the
old abandoned building. Rinoa took off her heavily saturated duster and hung
it across a piece of broken pillar.
Good thing I was able to get us down when I did.
Yeah, I dont have any fond wishes to become a lightning rod anytime
soon. Squall proceeded to unfold their picnic blanket onto a section
of wood floor that wasnt currently being invaded by the leaky roof.
Did you
like it Squall?
Ive never been a lightning rod.
No, I mean, the dance
up there. She pointed upward to the
ceiling.
It was the most wonderful experience of my life.
Yeah, he said as he smiled awkwardly. It was fun.
Yes, she said slowly, seemingly understanding exactly what he
meant. It was fun.
She walked leisurely around the room looking at the darkening shadows of
the ruins and remnants.
So what are your memories of this place?
Dont have many of them. The ones I do have arent worth
remembering.
Im sorry.
Dont be, not your fault, he said. I do remember fighting
with Seifer a lot.
Big surprise, she smirked.
He walked over closer to her and pointed near the corner of the far wall.
I pushed him into that wall there once, made a nice dent in it.
Ouch. Poor Seifer.
Poor Seifer nothing, that was really the only battle I ever won
rest
of the time he usually pummeled the shit out of me.
Wow, you two have always been close havent you? She grinned.
Hah, he snorted. He could never be far enough away for
me.
Her laughter was cut short as a bolt of lightning struck the ground somewhere
nearby with a loud pop of electricity. She jumped as a natural reaction and
stumbled backwards into Squall. He caught her by the shoulders. He felt a
slight tremor run through her body.
You alright?
Im okay, she said as she finally remembered to breathe.
Just an old memory.
He had noticed this before with her. She would recoil any time a lightning
spell was used in battle. She had always refused to be junctioned to Queztacoatl
with a quiet and hesitant voice. He wondered what would make her fear it
so much, even when she was able to control it.
The loud boom of thunder broke him from his thoughts and he looked down to
discover that he was running his hands through her hair. This caused him
to blush furiously and drop them to the side.
Sorry, he said quickly. I got sidetracked there for a
second.
Her old voice returned. Dont be, she turned around to face
him. It was nice. Her smile returned as well.
He scratched the back of his head nervously. Im just not used
to it I guess, he said.
She started to say something before she shivered slightly. You know,
I think you were right. Playing in the rain was a bad idea. She followed
through by rubbing her hands along her bare arms.
See
you should listen to me once in a while.
Okay, okay, dont let it go to your head mister common
sense. Cmon, lets go sit down.
She walked over to the large blanket and sat down on it, bringing a corner
of the back of it up to wrap around her shoulders. Squall plopped down beside
her and removed his wet jacket and gloves and tossed them aside. He took
the other corner and wrapped it over his shoulder. They stared out beyond
the open doorway in silence as the rain fell with a force like it was trying
to wash the entire world away.
It had a certain beauty to its driving ferocity. The large raindrops streaming
to the ground did seem like a downpour of stars in their shimmering appearance.
Squall reminisced of an earlier time when he saw his first shooting star.
Before he was fully aware, his hand made its way over to hers and intertwined
his fingers around it. His gaze shortly followed.
Pretty, isnt it? She said breaking the silence.
He stared at her. He didnt really mean to. But he found himself taking
in every detail that was revealed in the fading light. Her dark hair hung
limply around her face. Small droplets of water formed on the tips as the
liquid ran along the strands of her hair, mindlessly obeying the law of gravity.
They sparkled as they filled to capacity and had no choice but to release
themselves from their captors, fleeing for the ground as they ran in tiny
rivulets along the features of her face. They curved the end of her jawbone
and trickled down the length of her neck. They gathered in a shallow glistening
pool in the groove of her clavicle bone. She moved slightly causing the dam
to break and the water to plunge into the depths below her neckline. For
some reason, gravity seemed to fascinate him, as it does most things that
have defied it.
Its beautiful, he replied almost breathless as he continued admiring
something other than the rain.
His eyes traveled up from where their journey began where they met another
pair of confused eyes. He felt like an idiot.
Great
now shes going to think Ive been taking pervert
lessons from Irvine.
Instead she just smiled, her deep blush hidden in the grayish light.
Thank you, she said lightly.
Oh, real smooth Rinoa, she thought to herself. You
come up with that line all by yourself?
He turned his head away, embarrassed. Im sorry, he apologized
quietly, closing his eyes to hide the emotion. I didnt
mean
He was stopped in mid sentence as her hand came up and touched the side of
his face. Stop saying that Squall, she said as she took him by
the chin and brought his eyes back into the view of her own.
When he opened them to her, she saw a million emotions flooding through them.
Doubt, uncertainty, comfort and uneasiness, hope and fear; was he afraid
of her? This was new to her, she had always seen beyond the coldness into
the deep truth of his eyes. But she had never seen so many things at once
coming from them. He had laid his heart in her hands, and suddenly she was
afraid herself. How did she ever become worthy enough for such a gift? How
was she supposed to accept it?
Im sorry, he said again.
Without another word, she wrapped her arms around his neck, and kissed him.
After freezing in his initial shock at the sudden gesture, slowly the world
melted around him, he felt himself cave in, he closed his eyes, and he returned
it. Imprinting the image of her lips upon his. Deepening with each breath,
exploring the realm beyond her lips. An enrapturing sensation surged through
him. It tasted of fire and it tasted of ice.
Like stars.
She felt his lips open against hers and she mimicked the gesture, allowing
him access. The sensation sent electricity running throughout her blood.
It was euphoria as gentle as the flutter of butterfly wings, and as ferocious
and untamed as the wind that drove the rain outside.
She cradled his face in her hands, holding it close to her own with a feathery
touch. He was so warm. Her lips parted from his and began trailing a line
of soft kisses that descended down his neck. She savored the sweet salt of
his skin on her tongue. She could feel the wild rhythm of his pulse racing
against her lips and the low vibration of his voice as he moaned softly.
Squall wrapped his arms around her as he drew her in closer. He lowered his
head and gently kissed her on the shoulder. He pulled a lock of damp hair
aside as he made his way along the back of her neck with slow and diffident
movements. She ran her hands through the tresses of his hair before gliding
them down to across his shoulders. When they reached his hips they automatically
rose upward again darting under the fabric of his t-shirt. The chill of her
hands caused him to catch his breath and made his muscles tense.
Sorry, she murmured half-consciously as she continued gliding
her hands across his stomach up to his chest and then down along his back.
He said nothing and paused only long enough to aid her hands as he brought
the muddy shirt over his head and tossed it aside. His mouth found hers again
as his idle hands slipped down to her waist and slowly ran underneath her
tank top raising the fabric up the small of her back. She assisted him much
the same as he did her by pulling her shirt over her head and dropping it
to the ground.
What the hell am I doing?
It was at this brief moment that Squall snapped back to reality and realized
what he was about to do. He was ashamed. He had let himself get carried away.
He lost his self-control. Something he had never allowed to happen, until
he met her. She represented everything he could not control, the life of
the world itself. And now he believed he was taking advantage. Violating
something that was never meant to be violated. He cursed his own selfish
animal-like desires. Desires he had been fighting for months. Desires that
were now quickly winning him over. He felt an overwhelming want and the need
for this in the pit of his soul and his heart begged him not to stop. But
he also knew he didnt want this unless she did. He stopped and looked
into her eyes.
Oh god Rinoa, he said breathlessly. Im so sorry,
I didnt mean to
take advantage. Please
I dont want
to force
He was interrupted as she brought a hand to his lips. She almost laughed
as she said something that she never thought she would say in a million years.
Squall, she breathed. Shut up.
Okay.
He did.
She grabbed him around the neck and pulled him down with her to the soft
blanket below them. He met her lips once more; glad to return to his state
of blissful reverie. They continued to discover one another as one by one
the remnants of their garments were cast aside.
He began his own exploration, moving down from her lips to her neck, finding
her in the shadows. He felt the cold bite of the metal of her chain necklace
as he moved down to her chest. The feel of the sudden cold mixed in with
the heat of her body to his lips confused his senses. Unsure how she would
react to the gesture, he slowly moved farther and with timid insecurity,
he kissed her breasts lightly. She moaned delicately, sending another rush
of ice down his spine. He took it as an invitation and continued with a little
more confidence. Slowly, as if he were afraid he would awaken from a dream,
he began tracing the path of his lips with his fingers. Finding the shape
of her form. He wanted to take her in with all of his senses. He breathed
in sharply as his heart stuttered bewilderedly at this new surge of electricity.
Though he could not see fully how beautiful she was there in the darkness,
he could feel it, and he could taste it.
His touch was like that of soft velvet to her. Hands that had were lethal
and had been stained with the blood of many, were now as gentle as new-fallen
snow. It was like a hail storm of feathers falling from the sky. She could
feel the scars of a thousand battles pressed against her, mingling with her
own. He was so beautiful, both inside and out. Something he was never truly
able to hide from her. The experience was elating. It was colors, lights,
and darkness all enveloped into one endless movement, simplicity in its most
basic moment. The moment when it becomes clear, that out of a vast sea of
souls one would wash along the shore of your heart. Carrying with it that
one single grain of sand that would complete your own soul. She needed this
moment. She needed him to know all the love that she held for him. A love
so full that sometimes she felt as if she could not contain it all.
Rinoa glided her fingers across the muscles of his back and shoulders. They
tensed at the light touch of her hands. She reveled in the closeness of their
bodies, in the simplicity of his touch, in the warmth of his kiss. Just knowing
they were both...alive. They had experienced so much in their seemingly short
existences that she felt as if she had already lived four lifetimes. She
had come so close to losing him, more times than she cared to remember. This
act, this union, was not only an affirmation of love, but also, an affirmation
of life itself.
Squall traveled the length of her body with his hands. Running them along
all her imperfections, everything that made her perfect. He could not express
this feeling in words. There were no words for what he felt just in this
simple closeness. The silken feel of her skin, of her body, against his.
The word love, could never illustrate it. Love was only one word, one word
to describe the ten thousand that were running through his mind. This was
what songwriters have reflected and lamented over for generations. This was
what made man become a poet.
She reached his hips causing them to quiver. They made eye contact as they
joined together, looking in to each other's soul and finding a bit of themselves.
It was all the confirmation they needed as they sealed their love.
Their coupling was slow and rhythmic like a dance. And they sought out once
again the only song they knew by heart. The ancient song that brought
life itself into being. The oldest song in the history of time, reciting
the same lyrics that it had repeated since the beginning. It drummed in their
ears like a fully orchestrated symphony. For a few fleeting minutes, they
were one. One dance. One song. One soul. One heart.
In that time, time did not exist. The world stopped turning. The driving
rain paused in mid-air. The world faded until the only other presence they
could sense, the only other they could know, was of each other. Drifting
on the shorelines of forever. Wanting nothing more than a net full of its
beautiful essence, so that they might hold on to those precious moments for
an eternity. And even that, could not be long enough.
When the physical world pulled them back, and the hard rain filled their
ears once more, his arms buckled and he collapsed against her, exhausted.
She wrapped her arms around him with a fierce intensity. Holding him as close
as she possibly could.
When he gained enough strength he broke free of her and moved his body over
so all his weight would not be bearing down upon her. He brought his head
just centimeters from hers as he gazed into her eyes. Her hair hindered his
view. He brushed her bangs away with a gentle and trembling hand.
Their breaths were quick and shaky as they tried to hear over the thunderous
booming of their hearts. For a few moments they remained like this, staring
into each others eyes. Searching for answers perhaps, answers to questions
they already knew, and answers that were still uncertain. Neither had many
answers, but it didnt matter. Answers would be known in time. Time
itself that seemed to stop in this moment, allowing them both to know of
forever.
Both of them glistened with sweat, the rain on their bodies evaporating in
the heat long ago. He moved an arm underneath her as she rolled over to him,
pressing her body against his and reveling once again in the contact. He
pulled her in closer, basking in the same. She rested her head against his
chest as he reached over and pulled the rest of the blanket around them as
if it was a last ditch effort to keep the outside world from entering into
theirs.
Rinoa reached up and ran her finger from his forehead down to the tip of
his nose, mimicking a gesture they had shared earlier that day. He smiled
affectionately and returned the gesture. She gave him a drowsy smile and
patted his chest lightly with her hand.
One
two
three
she whispered with each hit.
He kissed her on the forehead and then watched as she slowly danced herself
to sleep. He gazed at her in the dim light, hypnotized by her slow and even
breathing. This was the only sound reaching his ears, save for the last drips
falling through the leaky roof. The rain had stopped. He looked up at the
sky through the tattered roof. Some say that afterwards the earth moves,
the oceans part, and you see fireworks. Squall Leonhart only saw stars, an
endless sea of stars. And her.
The darkness became hazy. He closed his eyes as sleep overcame him. He welcomed
it as it led him out to realm beyond the earth and beyond the stars themselves,
to the place where his dance partner was waiting for him.
"A waltz is three count. One
two
three, on the downbeat. Like
that. Do you remember?"
He could never forget.
One
two
three
he whispered with a smile.