Introduction to 006 Part 1
Crono, Marle, Lucca, Ayla, Robo, Frog and Magus sat around the castle one night polishing up their weapons, reading, picking their noses, you know, whatever. It was going pretty slow. Then Crono sneezed, and Lucca said, "Bless you." Then Magus yawned. Frog started to nod off, but then got up and started to pace around the room, phew, another one saved.
"Is anyone else bored?" Lucca spoke up.
"Yes," they all said at once.
"I wish the writer would do something exciting." Suddenly the were all falling off of the Black Omen.
"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" they all screamed in unison. They were all then back at the castle.
"I'm content to sit here," Crono said.
"Yeah, me too," Marle agreed.
"Me three," Robo said. They all stared at him.
"What? I thought we were counting."
"No see, if you read back it's spelled 'too', not 'two'," I said to him.
Robo looked back, "Oh yeah, I guess your right."
"So do we get to stay here tonight?" Lucca asked cautiously.
"Hmm, nope, you guys gotta do something."
"Aawwwww," they all groaned. So, against their will, they all got up and headed out of the castle.
"Marle, where are you going?" King Guardia asked as Marle walked by.
"Out," she said as she ran out the door.
Once out the door they all stood around with a 'what now' look on their faces.
"How about -" Lucca was cut off by Marle.
"No that's boring,"
"You don't know what I was going to say!"
"Oh yeah, go ahead."
"How about, yeah, you know what, it is pretty boring."
"We could go to the Dorino Mountains," Magus said, "Did I say that?"
"Me thinks thou didst," Frog said, reading back.
"It's not a bad idea though," Marle said. And so they were off. In more ways than one.
"HEY!" Heh, OK nevermind. But they were off, and just for the sake of time let's say that they were already there.
"Did that trip seem really short to anyone else?" Crono said looking at his watch.
"Hey were did you get that watch," Marle said, "What is that, a Rolex?"
"No," Lucca said upon further examination, "See the second hand moves kinda jerky, and on a real Rolex it moves smooth."
"Ha ha ha, Crono buy fake," Ayla laughed.
"No I didn't, my uncle Dan got it for me," Crono retaliated.
"Ha ha ha, Crono uncle Dan a sucker," Ayla laughed again.
"OK guys, it doesn't matter where Crono got the watch, now go up on the stupid mountain!"
"All right already, geez," Marle complained, "Don't blow a sprocket." So they went up the mountain.
"Me thinks this story is still really boring," Frog complained.
EVERYTHING STOPPED. And the skies darkened. Lightning streaked the sky and a huge chasm opened up beneath Frog, and he was swallowed up in it.
"No, I'm perfectly entertained," Magus said.
"I think we all are," Marle said looking down the hole in which Frog disappeared.
"And I hope to hear no more complaining out of any of you," I yelled at them.
"Yes sir!" they all jumped to attention. And so they headed back up the mountain. After hiking for about 5 minutes (I was keeping track on Crono's watch so I don't know how accurate that was "Hey! It's not my fault my uncle Dan is cheap!" Yeah whatever) a small green dot could be seen in the sky.
"What is that?" Marle said looking up.
"Is good to eat?" Ayla asked anxiously. As the dot came closer it was obvious that it was Frog.
"HIT THE DECK!" Magus screamed. So they scattered, all but Marle, who was staring upward like a turkey in a rain storm.
FWUMP! After the dust settled Frog lay on top of an unconscious Marle.
"Hey Marle," Frog said with a half-awake slur, "How about a kiss?" Then he passed out.
After Frog and Marle woke up, about fifteen minutes Crono time, their wounds were tended to and they were on their way again.
Half-way up the mountain, someone, who shall remain nameless (cough, Frog, cough), started singing 'High-Ho High-Ho', and he was struck by a stray lightning bolt. And, no, I didn't have anything to do with this. And after tending to Frog's wounds, again, they were on their way up the mountain...again.
"Isn't there a faster way up this stupid mountain?!" Marle screamed in frustration.
"Um, yes," Crono answered, "You didn't know?"
She grabbed him by his collar and screamed, "ARE YOU KIDDING?! WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME?!"
"Um, I thought you knew and just wanted to take the long way up." She screamed and started chasing him up the path, the long path.
"You know, if we don't start now they're going to beat us to the top," Lucca said.
"Well then, lets get going," Robo said and started up the shorter path. Frog, of course, said nothing.
Lucca, Frog, Magus, Robo, and Ayla made it to the top just as Marle was almost done kicking Crono's butt. After Marle had regained her composure, and taken Crono's watch, she walked over to the rest of the gang.
"So what was this point of this little excursion?" Marle said.
"Well," Lucca said, "maybe there was some kind of hidden point about how if you really try your hardest you can always make it to the peak, where the peak is a personal goal of some sort."
"That sounds good to me," Magus said.
"Well, how about it writer, was that it?" Marle yelled to me.
"Huh? Oh heck no, I just wanted to see Marle beat the tar out of Crono." Crono grunted and the rest of the crew moaned in disappointment.
"Anyway, it's time to go back down."
"Already? But we just got here!" Marle yelled.
"Marle no yell at writer," Ayla whispered to Marle, "Writer can go psycho on Marle, make giant bat eat Marle like fruit."
"Yes, thank you Ayla," I said politely.
"S'okay cranky writer." Ayla then found herself no longer able to talk, due to the heavy steel plate that had placed itself over her mouth. Anyway, it was time for them to go back down the mountain. And, once again for the sake of time, let's just say they were already there.
"That is getting REALLY annoying!" Marle yelled.
"I know, I'm just to lazy to type you walking back down." I replied.
Then some air-head valley-girl approached Crono.
"Did you, like, just climb that mountain, or something?" she said, sounding confused, "I could, like, never climb a mountain? Because, like, I might break a nail or something? Oh, I like, like your hair....or something."
"Um, thanks," Crono said, slowly backing up.
"Your, like, really cute, or something? Would you like to go out, or something?"
"Um, I guess-" Marle smacked him upside the head, "No, um, no."
"Well, that's kinda bad, or something? Cause I just bought this dress, or something? And I was, like, going to wear it today, or something? But my sister, like, took it out of my closet, or something? And she got it dirty, with, like, a mustard stain or something, and now it's, like, in the dry cleaner's, or something?" Crono and the rest of the gang slowly started to move away, in the distance the psychotic ramblings of the empty-headed blonde could still be heard.
"That was like, so rude?!" Marle said then slugged Crono.
"OW! Hey, it's not my fault women find me irresistible!" Lucca fell on the ground laughing, Ayla doubled over, her sides sore from laughter, and Marle stumbled around, tears of laughter forming in her eyes.
"What?!" Crono yelled, "What is so funny?!"
"Irresistible!" Marle choked out between fits of laughter and gasping breaths.
"Oh come on," Crono said pitifully, "It wasn't that funny."
"Well, that was kinda, stupid," Robo said.
"Oh come on, you guys are just jealous," Crono said.
Magus laughed, "The stupid frog looks better than you do!"
"The frog doesn't even have hair!" Crono countered.
"That just means I cans't have a bad hair day," Frog smirked.
"He's got a point Crono," Robo said.
"Shut up Frog, and talk normally!" Frog stuck his tongue out at Crono, and hit him in the fore-head, from four and a half feet a way. Quite a sight. Crono sat down on the ground and waited for everyone to stop laughing. Frog then started laughing too, but Frog, weak from the punishment earlier, stopped breathing and fell to the ground.
Crono gasped and ran over to him, "Marle!" he sobbed leaning over the body, "I didn't mean it, why did you have to die?!" Crono started crying uncontrollably.
"I'm still alive," Marle said, standing behind Crono.
Crono got up, "Oh, well it's not like I could tell the difference anyway." Marle sucker punched Crono, and he joined Frog on the ground.
And since this would be a bad Chrono Trigger fanfic (if it isn't already) without Crono, I'll just pick him back up. And, just for the heck of it, let's say they were in a restaurant.
Crono, Marle, Robo, Magus and Ayla were sitting around a table of a really fancy restaurant. And Frog? He's still passed out.
"How did we get here?" Marle said.
"I think the waiters are asking that same question," Magus said looking around.
One waiter walked up to them and said, "Excuse me, but the chef needed to know if you want that frog." Ayla's stomach growled and she moved closer to Frog with a fork in her hand.
"I think she wants it," Robo said. The waiter walked back into the kitchen.
Soon another waiter came to them and said, "Can I take your order?"
"I'll have a steak, rare," Crono said licking his lips.
"I'll have the same," Lucca said.
"I think I'll have a salad," Marle said, staring at Crono and Lucca.
"Ya know what? A salad sounds good," Lucca said, "I'll have on instead of the steak."
"Okay," the waiter said writing down Lucca's new order.
"I'll have the turkey," Magus said.
"I think I'll have the turkey instead of a salad," Lucca said.
The waiter scowled at her and wrote down the new order.
Frog got up from Ayla's plate and said, "Oh we're ordering now? I'll have some fried pork."
Do NOT ask me why a frog would order fried pork, I don't know, I just needed something that a normal person would like, okay?!
Lucca thought for a second. "YOU, order LAST!" the waiter shouted.
Ayla, looking hurt that Frog woke up before she had a chance to eat him, said, "Chicken."
The waiter stared at Robo for a second, "I'll just bring you some motor oil or something."
"Wow, you are good, how did you know what I wanted?" Robo said.
"And now, the purple-haired confused lady can order," the waiter sighed.
"Hmm," she thought for a second, "I think I will have-" she was cut off by Marle.
"The motor oil?!" Marle yelled leaning over the table.
"No," Lucca moaned, "I'll have the steak." Everyone groaned and slammed their heads on the table.
"WHAT?!" Lucca screamed.
At this time I would like to say that I am not liable for any copied material written herein. Any resemblance to anything or anybody, living or dead, past or present, is purely coincidental.
"Haha, coinkidink," Marle giggled.
Anyway, the food came and they all started eating happily. Everyone, except Ayla, who was hungrily eyeing Frog.
Crono, who had been watching Ayla eat sloppily, turned to Frog and said, "Sleep lightly."
Frog's eyes grew wide (wider), and he swallowed hard as Ayla crammed a piece of chicken into her mouth.
After they finished their main courses, they sat around drinking coffee and eating mints. All but Ayla, who was guzzling coffee and inhaling mints. But soon, the restaurant was all out of coffee and mints, and Crono and the gang were forced to leave.
"So what now?" Marle said looking around.
"We could hook Ayla up to the Epoch and see how long it stays charged," Lucca said. Ayla twitched.
"No, that sounds kinda boring," Magus said. A thin trail of gray smoke came out of Ayla's ear.
"Yes irresistible!" Crono shouted at Marle waving his arms around.
"What?" Marle said, wide-eyed.
"Women find me irresistible! PEOPLE find me irresistible! Even Kino thought I had a cute butt!"
He didn't actually said 'butt', I just wanted to keep this under PG-13.
"Whatever," Marle said, rolling her eyes, "Let's go home." So they all started trudging toward Guardia castle. And since I'm still too lazy to type their walk home, let's say, once again, that they are already there.
"STOP THAT!" Crono yelled at me.
"No," I said calmly back, "And what would you do about it anyway?"
"I'd kick your butt!" Crono yelled up.
"Yeah, bring it punk!" And then everyone started to back away from Crono.
He spit up towards the sky, so I spit back. He was soon covered in saliva.
"That wasn't fair!" He yelled up at me. He picked up a rock and hurled it towards the heavens.
"That was stupid," Crono said, crouching down into a fetal position, and then, he pulled out a little pink, drink umbrella. Then, the whistling could be heard. A giant bolder fell form the sky.
"Oh, shi-" Crono could not even squeeze out the rest of his sentence before the bolder hit him.
"Sorry," Crono grunted from under the titanic rock.
"Ding dong the witch is dead, the witch is dead, the wicked-" The rock lifted from Crono and fell onto Frog. And they continued to the castle.