Final Fantasy Simpson Chapter 5

Homer, Planet Protector

By Geode 

"Well, we're here," Cloud replied as they reached a small ridge before the center of the Crater. The entire team was gathered in the area.

"Let's change groups," Vincent hastily added.

"Yes, lets," Red XIII seconded the proposition. Cloud looked around the team.

"OK. Who's gonna come?" Cloud called. Everyone cried out and ran behind Cait Sith. Yuffie tried to hide behind him, but Cid kicked her out.

"Hey!" Yuffie shouted in protest.

"Cait Sith and Yuffie! You haven't fought yet. You guys come," Cloud told them. Yuffie groaned. Homer, who had been lagging behind, just came onto the ridge. He looked at Cait Sith.

"Hee hee hee! Look at that! It's a cat riding a stupid fat white thing!" Homer giggled and ran up to Cait Sith. He began to poke the cat.

"Hey! Stop that!" Cait Sith growled in protest as he ran away from Homer. Homer continued to chase and poke the cat. This went on for another five minutes. Finally, Homer got tired and told Cloud he was ready. Cloud shook his head.

"I have decided that you should stay here Homer. You'll watch the Black Materia with the rest of team," Cloud explained. Cloud handed him the Black Materia. Cloud turned away and then looked back. "Just don't eat it!" Homer pulled the materia from his mouth. Cloud walked up the path with Yuffie and Cait Sith.

Cloud turned a corner and found himself in the City of the Ancients. Yuffie and Cait Sith sighed in unison.

"Great. The Playstation is screwing up again," Yuffie groaned. Someone laughed in the background. Cloud looked around and saw the altar where Aeris had prayed for Holy. Cloud blinked.

"Aeris?" Cloud shook his head. Aeris was standing on the altar. Cloud walked past Yuffie and Cait Sith to the altar. Cloud walked up to Aeris. "Aeris?" Cloud tapped Aeris on the shoulder.

Suddenly, Sephiroth comes flying down from above. He draws the Masamune in a flash and stabs it into Aeris. Aeris drops the white materia and slumps to the floor. The white materia bounces on the steps and deflects into Yuffie's face.

"Oww," Yuffie moaned as the white materia bounced away laughing. Cloud looked up at Sephiroth.

"What the hell is this? What kind of sick joke is this?" Cloud demanded. Sephiroth shook his head.

"This is no joke Cloud. This is the reality," Sephiroth replied.

"What are you babbling about?" Cloud shouted.

"This is what should have happened in the City of the Ancients. Homer was not there. He did not come to Nibelheim five years ago, I mean the City of the Ancients a few hours ago," Sephiroth corrected himself.

"Yes he did! He saved Aeris and beat you!" Cloud cried out.

"Fool. This was not how it was supposed to be," Sephiroth shouted.

"Wait a minute," Yuffie was flipping through the FF7 strategy guide she stole from Cloud. "This is where Sephiroth makes Cloud remember he's a puppet. Or make fun of Cloud's scrawny body. I forget which," Yuffie frowned as she continued to search through the guide.

"So? Now what? Aeris is alive? And something has been changed?" Cloud questioned Sephiroth.

"For now. I hope to soon change that," Sephiroth smiled.

"I don't believe that you were supposed to kill Aeris!" Cloud shouted. Sephiroth took out a small Playstation controller and pressed a few buttons.

"I have a saved game right before the movie. Would you like to see it? It came out pretty good," Sephiroth laughed.

"Cloud! Don't look!" Cait Sith shouted. Cloud shrugged.

"Aeris shouldn't die in this scene, but if she does. I know it's an illusion," Cloud replied. He watched a screen appear. Cloud watched himself run towards the altar. The Cloud on screen prepared to attack Aeris. Cloud gasped in horror. Then Tifa and Cid stopped him. Then he watched Sephiroth rush down and stab Aeris, just like before. Sephiroth turned off the Playstation.

"See? I'm just trying to fix a Cloud that was never meant to be… Oh wait! You were never given a name," Sephiroth laughed.

"Yes I was! In the beginning of the game…" Cloud replied. Sephiroth disappeared. "Wait? How did I get a name? I was an ex-SOLDIER. Wait a minute, I started at the end of Disc 1." Cloud rubbed his head. "Disc 1? What the hell am I talking about?" Cloud moaned. "Oh. I remember now…" Cloud brushed back his sweat. "Come on. Let's go." Cait Sith and Yuffie frowned and followed.


"I'm bored!" Homer shouted. He kicked a rock off the side of the cliff. "This place sucks!" Tifa glared at him.

"Cloud will be back soon. Then we can return you to your own world, hopefully," Tifa told Homer.
"He better or I'll go to his world," Vincent muttered. Suddenly, everyone but Homer disappeared. The air turned into a green mist around him.

"Hmmm… Getting foggy early today," Homer squinted through the fog. "Hello? Is anybody there?" Homer called out. No answers replied. "What the hell is this?" Homer shouted. Suddenly, the fog disappeared and was replaced with Moe. "Moe! Oh! I'm so glad to see you. Give me a beer!" Homer shouted.

"Sorry Homer… I can only give you a beer if you give me the Black Materia," Moe replied. Homer looked at the Black Materia.

"Hmm…," Homer was about to give it to Moe when he pulled it back. "Wait a minute! Where is the beer?"

"It's uhh… at the bar," Moe replied. "Look! Just give me the Black Materia!" Moe shouted.

"No way Moe! Only for a beer," Homer yelled back. Moe began to float and transform. His body shifted into Sephiroth. "Hey Moe! I didn't know you were Sephiroth!"

"Moron! I only took that form from your mind!" Sephiroth shouted. "It's pretty empty," Sephiroth muttered to himself. "Now! Give me the Black Materia!"

"Wait a minute… You are Sephiroth right?" Homer questioned him.

"Yes," Sephiroth replied.

"Well… OK. Just promise you'll give it back," Homer told him. He handed Sephiroth the materia. Sephiroth took out a magnifying glass and inspected it.

"Good. Well. I have to go. Be seeing you," Sephiroth laughed and disappeared. Homer waited for a few minutes.

"I wonder when he's coming back," Homer tapped his foot.


"What do you mean the Jenova Reunion is canceled!" Hojo shouted at the little black figure.

"Sorry sir. Lack of participants and budget cuts," the black cloaked figure replied. He nodded and disappeared. Hojo stamped his foot and walked over to Hojo and Scarlet.

"Great! We came all the way to the center of the crater and no one's coming!" Rufus sighed. Just then, Cait Sith, Yuffie and Cloud walked up to them.

"Oh! Hi failure!" Hojo waved.

"Hey!" Cloud waved back. The group stood there silent for a few minutes.

"Umm… What do we do now?" Scarlet asked. Homer ran up behind them, huffing and puffing.

"Cloud! Sephiroth appeared and he attacked me. I fought him with all my skill and won, but then he grabbed the Black Materia!" Homer quickly lied.

"What?" Cloud replied. Just then, a huge nose appeared in the side of the crater.

"Hojo! What is that!" Rufus shouted.

"Hmm… The WEAPONs must be waking up!" Hojo deduced. The nose sniffed and then let out a huge sneeze.

"Umm… Yuck," Scarlet wiped away a coating of slime all over her. On the side of crater, a huge portal appeared. Moe, Barney, Ned Flanders, and Grandpa Simpson were flung out at the group.

"Hey! You guys came to save me!" Homer cried after he helped Barney off of Scarlet's back.

"Actually. I was just coming with Moe," Barney replied. Then he belched. Flanders walked over to Homer.

"Homer? Since we just got here… You wouldn't know how to diddly doodly exit would ya?" Flanders asked.

"Shut up Flanders!" Homer shouted.

"Oh no! We've fallen into the cold Abyss of Hell!" Grandpa cried out as he looked at Cait Sith. "That demon has come to claim my soul!" A laugh came from above them.

"Fools! Now is the time for the beginning of the world's rebirth!" Sephiroth shouted. He waved and opened the door to the glass cocoon. He slammed it shut. The entire crater began to shake.

"Oh nuts. Why didn't you tell us the world was ending Homer!" Moe shouted. Homer shrugged. Rufus brushed his hair over.

"I hate to be abrupt but… Let's run," Rufus shouted. The team ran out. Homer went to run but then felt his ankle stuck in a crack.

"Hey! A little help!?" Homer shouted. Cloud turned and struggled to pull Homer loose. Suddenly, Cloud felt himself being lifted by Sephiroth's power. He was thrown into a wall. Another surge tried to pick up Homer. After a huge groan, the force gave up and set Homer down. Homer looked for Cloud but then saw the burst of Lifestream heading for him.

"Oh man," Homer moaned. The lifestream exploded as the Highwind lifted off.

"Crrrraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaappppppppppppp!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Homer screamed as he was engulfed in the Lifestream.


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