MST3K Fanfic #001 Chapter 6
By Kasady Voorhees
A Shadow Of Evil Chapter 6
By Icy Brian
Magus awoke to the sound of
Servo: more boredom.
thunder. He shook his head as his eyes began to focus. He pulled himself to one knee and glanced up at the gloomy castle which lay before him.
Mike: maybe it wouldn't be so gloomy if he bothered to paint the place once every 100 years.
The darkness began to fade as the sun slowly rose above the horizon. A rustle in the leaves behind him told Magus something else was there. He reached for his scythe, only to find that it was gone. He turned around to see Marle standing at the edge of the forest. She smiled and walked over to where he sat.
Mike: Crow, you're quiet.
Crow: zzzz.....
Mike: Crow?
Crow: zzzzzz.......
Servo: just leave him.
"So, what do we do now? Omek is still alive and as powerful as ever. We did everything possible, and we barely hurt him!"
Servo: everything possible? I have $5 that says otherwise!
stated Marle. She could see her crossbow under a bush a few feet away from her, walked over to it, and picked it up. After examining it to see that it wasn't broken, she put it back in its holster. "We're lucky that he didn't get the staff. The fact that he has one is bad enough, but with two...that's just cutting it too close. We can't let him get his hands on either of the last two staffs."
Mike: but we all know he will.
Magus looked her in the eyes, giving her a look of both hatred and anger.
"It is sad that you feel that way Princess. After the battle yesterday, Omek tricked me into revealing the location of the staff. He has undoubtedly stolen it by now."
Mike: that's right, wizard boy messed up.
Servo: abd the stroy will drag on, and on, and......
There was an eerie silence for a matter of seconds as Marle tried to comprehend what Magus had just said.
"So he already has two of the staffs," stammered Marle. "We have to keep him from getting the third. If he gets it, we're all doomed."
Servo: what else is new?
"He won't get it. I'll make sure of that."
Mike: really? You lost one already.
Servo: $20 says he loses the 3rd.
Mike: where's you get $20?
Servo: uhh.... anywhere but your wallet.
He looked around for a moment.
"Where is my scythe? It should be right around here." Marle shrugged. She looked over the landscape surrounding her, but could see nothing unusual. She glanced at the sky to see a bolt of lightning.
both: hit her! HIT HER!
Crow: whu.....? I'm up, I'm up. What'd I miss?
Mike: nothing.
Crow: damn. I was hoping I'd sleep through.
Soon after, she heard the rumble of thunder. She held out her hand, but not a single drop of rain fell. Thinking nothing of it, she walked over to the tree which had fallen the night before. Most of it had been incinerated in the struggle, but the top portion was still on the ground.
Mike(Magus voice): man, the EPA's gonna be mad.
Marle could see the glint of metal beneath the dying branches which still remained.
Crow: a metal tree? Oh, no, this gets worse, I can tell....
Kneeling beside the tree, she began
Mike: scratching her ear with her hind leg and barking.
to remove the brush which covered it. After a few seconds, she could clearly see a scythe, the tip of the blade stuck in the ground.
Servo: the tip? it shoulda been jammed in the ground. What's this tree weigh?
Marle called out to Magus, but received no reply.
all: he's DEAD!!! Woooo!
She looked up, but he wasn't in sight. She called to him once more, but he still did not answer. The Princess sighed, and
Mike: realized the ice cream man drove by with his hypnotic bell.
reached into the pile of branches to pull out the scythe.
Servo: didn't she just move the branches?
She grasped the handle and, with a bit of hesitation on both parts, pulled the weapon out of the ground. Holding the scythe by her side, she walked back to where she had first seen Magus when he awoke. Finding that he was still gone, she sat down on a tree stump and examined the scythe.
Mike(low hick voice): some folks call it a sling blade...
It had an inscription on it which she couldn't read.
Crow: LEARN TO READ!!
She guessed that it was a spell, and that the scythe must have been fairly ancient for it to have a language on it which she had never seen before.
Servo: I wanna kill whoever did the casting for this. Really, do we need a jenny McCarthy-like airhead?
As Marle lifted the scythe into the air, she felt a surge of energy run through her entire body. Startled, she looked closer at the scythe, only to see the inscription glowing with a golden light.
Mike: so it takes batteries. Cute.
Another blast of energy nearly knocked her over, causing her to drop the blade. She stepped away from the scythe, which was now
Crow: walking and singing showtunes.
as bright as the sun. Marle shielded her eyes from the rays, which now lit the entire forest.
Servo(low voice): only you can prevent forest lightups.
She looked skyward as she heard an immense crash in the heavens above. The clouds parted, and she watched as a gigantic lightning bolt ripped through the sky and flew into the scythe.
Crow: aww man, it missed.
With a final extraordinary glow, the light's power increased and died out within a matter of seconds.
Cautiously, Marle approached the scythe, which was now calm and quiet. She tapped it with her foot, sliding it over a few inches in the dirt. She kicked at it again, and it did nothing, like a normal scythe. What had caused it to react so strangely?
Crow: her acid flashback?
What was the importance of the inscription? Why had it summoned the lightning bolt? Marle pondered over these questions as she stared down at the scythe which lay at her feet. If it weren't for the smoke,
Servo: she woulda gotten away with burnin down the castle.
she would have thought that she had just imagined the whole thing.
Mike: with all that's gone on already? Their lives ain't normal. This stuff probably happens all the time to em.
"I was correct." Marle looked up to see Magus walking out of the castle. "Omek did manage to steal the staff. Apparently he..."
Mike: ...aww, nevermind. So, how's things? Any weird stuff lately?
Magus' voice trailed off when he saw the Princess' pale face. He looked down at her feet to see the scythe, now glowing very faintly. "Where did this come from?"
Servo: your brother Marylin Manson left it here and it was... glowing.. and...
"Isn't it yours? You said you had lost it in the battle." Magus shook his head and tossed back his cape. His scythe hung from its normal spot on his belt.
"I found mine next to the castle wall, wedged into the base. That one isn't mine." Magus walked over to where Marle stood and knelt down. He picked up the scythe and looked at the inscription.
"Do you know..." Magus raised his gloved to silence her, never taking his eyes off of the scythe. He lifted the scythe higher, becoming more excited by the second.
Mike: oh, gross!
Crow: keep it to yourselves! AAHHH!!
"Torei dos tempei, moren ilt hatsos verei, et iter tai sepat!"
Servo: come again?
The sky suddenly opened up, and a mammoth bolt of lightning even larger than the first crashed down, empowering the weapon which Magus held. The energy flowed from the scythe into the wizard's body.
Mike: now that should have killed him.
Servo: I'm writing a complaint letter! This is hardly truthful. At least, less truthful than it was.
The light shined out of his skin, lighting him as though he were on fire. Marle stared in awe at the mage.
Servo: awe? It doesn't even look fun!
Even in the silence, she could sense his power growing. The intensity of the light increased greatly, and Magus got a worried look on his face.
Mike: at least someone knows it's not good.
"Magus, stop! It's too much for you to handle!" Magus opened his mouth to try to speak, but was unable to say anything.
Servo: oh, really? Well, he can't say anything nice, so he's not saying anything at all then.
Marle could see that he couldn't stop the power which was flowing into his body. Magus struggled to release the blade, but it refused to relinquish its grasp on him. The energy had engulfed him, and he was now hovering in the air.
Crow(singing): I'm as free as a bird...now....
Marle gathered her strength and summoned a large bolt of ice. It ran from the tips of her fingers and slammed into the scythe, dislodging it from Magus' hands and sending it falling to the ground. Magus fell from the sky and landed in a heap next to the blade, smoke rising off of his body.
Servo: SMOKIN!
Mike: not again! I mean it!
Servo: sorry!
He got up to one knee and picked up the scythe. Raising it above his head, he drove it down into a tree stump, lodging the blade into the wood.
Mike: why?
"This power is incredible!" Magus exclaimed. "I can feel it coursing through my body, pumping through my veins. Never before have I felt such a brilliant energy!"
Crow: that's just the shock to your system. You'll get over it.
He raised a hand, and from it many beams of light shot into the sky. After a few seconds the beams ran together, causing an explosion which lit the morning sky.
Mike: again, why?
"I can tell," Marle remarked as Magus sent a ray of energy into a tree, smashing it into numerous pieces.
Mike: they invened toothpicks.
"But where did it come from? It wasn't here yesterday."
"How it fell into our hands, I do not know." Magus replied. "However, I recognize the inscription as being a dialect of an ancient Zealian language. It was short lived, so very few people knew it well. Belthasar taught me a bit about it when I was young. That is how I can read it. As for the scythe itself, I've never seen it before."
Servo: that's what he said about his last wife in court!
"Do you think that maybe Omek left it?" Marle asked. "It's possible that he wanted to give us a sporting chance against him. If he did though, we should be more wary of it." Magus shook his head and laughed.
"No, that is unlike him. He is too cruel of a being to help us. I believe that someone else left it here to help us kill him."
Crow(Magus voice): besides, the guy's a prick who wants us dead!
"If they're on our side, why would they hide it beneath a tree? I'm sure that it wasn't there last night." Marle argued. Magus thought it over for a moment.
Mike(dumb hick voice): well, gee, I don't really know.
"Perhaps they didn't want Omek to find it. Or maybe..." Magus stopped to think about what he was saying. "Maybe someone put it there so that nobody could find it. Something like that shouldn't be used by mere mortals."
Servo: that's obvious. We saw that after he nearly fried.
"Yeah, you're probably right. Come on, let's go get that staff." She stepped over to the side of the Epoch and opened the lid to the cockpit. Magus picked up the scythe which lay on the ground and wrapped it in a cloth.
Mike: if he bottlefeeds it I'll scream.
He walked over next to Marle and climbed into the Epoch.
"Better that we take this with us. We must hurry and get the staff before Omek can attack again." Marle nodded and began to climb up the side when she noticed that something was wrong. She looked up at Magus, and then back towards the fallen tree. She suddenly realized what it was.
"Hold on a second." She jumped off the Epoch's side and looked around as far as she could see. She then looked worriedly back up at her companion. "Where's Glenn?"
Servo: they didn't notice the mutant frog missing? Come on!
* * *
"Thou shalt not succeed, Omek! Thine friends shall end your evil reign!" Glenn spat at Omek, who stood in front of the brave frog. In return, Omek hit him sharply in the side of his head with the flat of his sword. Glenn, who was chained to a wall deep within a hidden cavern, crumpled to the ground in pain.
Mike: chained to a wall but he crumpled to the ground?
Servo: must be bargain chains.
A figure to his left tried to charge forward, but was restrained by large chains. The person struggled to break free of the force by which they were bound, but had no luck in doing so. Omek once again struck Glenn with the blunt edge of his sword.
"Leave him alone!" The person shouted, as her face came into view. "You've already tortured him enough!" Omek punched her in the gut, and she gasped for air.
"Do not assume that I am too high above hitting a woman, Lucca. If you would prefer to feel the pain for him, then so be it."
Mike: I think he ran for a Senate seat once, didn't he?
He lifted her chin to look into her eyes. Lucca could see a fire in Omek's eye, and tried to turn away from him. "You should consider yourself lucky to be alive. I don't kill you where you stand because you may prove to be useful later." Lucca tried to kick him, but couldn't reach.
Servo: the frog falls to the ground but she can't move? What, did he cut these chains to random lengths?
Mike: Seig Moron!
"Omek, you're a dead man once Magus finds you." Lucca growled through clenched teeth. "He's going to rip out your black heart and leave you laying bleeding and dying on the ground.
Crow: come on, I just ate!
You'll never get the third staff." Omek tossed back his head and laughed.
"My son is a disgrace. His power could never match my own.
Mike: no, his drinking never matched your own.
If he so much as dares to challenge me, it will be his own death." As Omek turned away, he slammed his sword into the wall next to Lucca's head. A few sparks flew through the air, landing on her face. She shook them off and looked to her side. A hopeful grin came onto her face when she realized that Omek had cut through a link on the chain which bound her to the wall.
Servo: hey Mike, if I went out and circled the planet by slowly crawling, would I miss much?
Mike: aside from a drunken, abusive father figure, no.
She glanced over at Omek to see that he was examining Robo, who was sitting switched off in the corner,
all: YAY!!!
and did not realize that he had cut through the chain. Lucca stepped back against the wall, out of the light of the lantern. She looked over to see that Glenn was slowly getting up to his feet.
"What hath thy done with Crono and Ayla?" Glenn demanded. Omek spun back around, and on his face he wore a grin of the uttermost wickedness.
Crow(low voice): I pot em in a room with a video camera. I need income.
Servo: CROW! That's disgusting.
Mike: I warned you, now out until you cool off.
Crow gets up and leaves the theater, crying
"One never puts all his gold in the same spot. As for me, I prefer to keep mine in separate eras. In truth, your friends stand right beside you. For their sakes, pray that you do not see two piles of bones next to you any time soon."
Mike: this guy needs therapy.
Servo: even Galvatron wasn't this looney.
With this, Omek turned his back on the two and made his way out of the cavern. Once he was out of sight, Lucca pulled the broken chain from the wall, freeing her right arm. She moved forward as far as the remaining chain would allow, and reached out with her other arm to Glenn's Masamune, which was laying on the ground next to Robo.
both: stab him. Stab Him. STAB HIM!
"Can thou reach it?" Glenn asked, keeping his eye on the sword.
Mike(woman voice): what do I look like, you're maid?
"I'm trying," Lucca responded. She managed to get two fingers on the hilt, but the chain pulled her back before she could get a firm grip on it. She tried once again, and this time managed to press her fingers down on the sword, pulling it towards her a few inches at a time. About a minute later, the sword was in her grasp, and she stabbed it into the chain which still bound her to the wall. A series of sparks flew away from it, and she yanked out the broken chain. "Yes!"
Servo: these people have too much joy to be involved in this.
"Very good, Madam Lucca." Commended Glenn. "Now cut me free." Lucca took the sword and cut it sharply into the chain above Glenn's wrist.
Servo: YAY!!!....aww, man!
He pulled his arm away from the wall, and Lucca cut off the other chain.
"Hold on while I start up Robo."
Mike: please, I will give you $10 not to.
Lucca walked over to the giant robot and went to work on his circuitry.
"I hope that I hath given Sir Magus and Princess Marle a chance against that foul villain." Glenn wasn't talking to anyone inparticular, but moreso just to himself.
"What do you mean?" Lucca asked. Glenn looked over at her and smiled.
"I left them with a magical weapon before Omek abducted me.
Mike: all the mystery just went away.
Crow(from outside): can I come back in now?
Mike: ready to behave?
Crow(from outside, crying): yes.
Mike: okay.
Crow walks in and sits down
It is an ancient treasure of Zeal which I hath kept hidden for some time now. It bestows its holder with great power." He stopped and looked towards the exit of the cave. "I hid it under a tree during our battle. Magus has no doubt found the scythe by now." Lucca looked at him, but wasn't really paying attention.
"Yeah, great." She said. Lucca switched on Robo, and a series of beeps followed. "You're going to have to explain to me later. Right now, we need to get out of here."
Mike: took em long enough to figure it out.
"Yes, that would be wise Miss Lucca." Robo chimed in. He stood up and walked over to where Glenn stood. He grabbed the cuffs around his wrists and snapped them off.
Crow: the cuffs or the wrists?
He then did the same for Lucca. Lucca kneeled down and picked up her gun.
"What are you boys waiting for? Let's go!" Lucca motioned for Glenn and Robo to follow, and the three ran towards the exit of the cave.
Crow: I should have stayed out a bit longer.
.
Light streamed through the entrance of the cave as they moved closer to it. Lucca ran ahead, glad to finally be out of the dark. She stopped suddenly at the edge of the tunnel,
Servo: cause there was no cround.
having heard a voice outside. Glenn and Robo caught up to her, and she signalled for them to be quiet and stay where they were. She quietly moved to the very edge of the cave to listen in.
Mike: listen to what?
Crow: the sweet sound of boredom.
"I already have two of the staffs. The third will be in my possession soon.
Servo(Omek voice): I'm getting it for Christmas.
Those pitiful fools don't stand a chance against us." Lucca recognized the voice as Omek's. 'Who did he mean by us?' Lucca asked herself.
"Good." There was a second voice now. "At this rate we'll have the gate open tomorrow. Then the world will be our oyster." Omek laughed.
"No, not the world. Once we've opened the gate, everything that has life will be ours to control. Finally I will get what I rightfully deserve."
Servo: deserve? You deserve to be shot.
"My plans were foiled once before by the spiky-headed fool. Now with him out of the way, I can obtain the power which should have been mine long ago."
Crow: the crazy people seem to inhabit this story.
Servo: I bet he's talkin to himself.
Lucca looked over to make sure Glenn and Robo were still listening as well. 'That voice,' she thought to herself. 'It's so familiar. I know I've heard it somewhere before.'
Mike: on TV.
The second man laughed. It was a hideous laugh which could not be mistaken. Hoping she was wrong, she leaned out of the cave to see if it was who she thought. After catching a glimpse, she turned back towards Glenn and Robo, slamming her fist into the wall.
Crow(Lucca voice): no, no, NO! Mr. Rogers went insane!
Dalton had returned.
Mike: Dalton?
Servo: no wonder he's crazy.
Crow: he probably got beat up daily as a kid. .
.