The Great Revenge Part 2: The Cloud Wars Chapter 2
The Tower's 40 Floors Long, But I Don't Care
By Limited Moon
Tifa flew out of the portal that opened on the other side, and directly into the floor. Aerith's mouth almost hit the floor at the sight of this. Tifa slowly stood up and looked around. It was a small room with a bright bluish tile on the floor, and Rome-style marble walls. There were two exits, both leading onto little bridges with nothing but voids under them.
"Where are we?!" Tifa said.
"I don't know," Cloud said, "it's another world."
"!#$#$!#$%@ SHUT UP CLOUD!" Cid said, obviously annoyed.
Just then, a boy in a red vest and green pants walked in. He had red hair, and was holding a golden sword and a mirror in his hands. He looked confused, seeing them.
"Hey, look, the hero of the '90s," Cait Sith joked.
The boy just stood there silently, waiting for something.
"What the hell?! Say something you @$@$%$#!" Cid whined.
Soon a little blue dragon-like thing followed him into the room, it was also confused upon seeing Cloud's group.
"Ugh...where am I?" Rufus said, just waking up, he then looked around frantically, "WHERE'S MY DOOR?!"
"It's cheating on you," Cait Sith replied, laughing.
The blue dragon walked up and introduced itself, "My name is KEWNE. Me and KOH are wandering around the monster tower, this is currently the..," he counted on his fingers for a brief second, "39th floor."
Cid scratched his head, "What the hell are the capital letters in your names for?!"
"What's wrong with...," Vincent said, pointing his finger at KOH, "him."
"Somebody left the caps lock on," Cloud said.
"He...well, he can't talk," KEWNE said.
"Huh?! THE HELMET'S GONE!" Aerith yelled, "It's been stolen!"
Everyone looked at the exit near Aerith and saw a little green creature with two balls on the sides of it's head. In it's hands was the Golden Helmet of Mambrino.
"It's a picket," KEWNE said.
"#$%$$#% we have to catch that $%#$%$!" Cid yelled, running after it.
"You'll never catch it," KEWNE said.
Sure enough, the minute Cid went to grab for it, it sped off at twice Cid's speed. Cid, still in his grabbing motion, caught only air and got only a face plant.
"How do we catch it? It's so fast," Tifa asked.
"Simple, look for the one that doesen't want to fight, and kill that one," KEWNE said, "this floor isn't very big."
"Oh great, then we'll have to split up...wait a minute," Aerith said, thinking.
"Ok, i'll go with Cloud!" Tifa declared.
"I'm going alone," Cid said.
"I'm going with Cid," Cait Sith declared.
"$%#$^$%^%&" Cid replied.
"....i'll do fine by myself," Vincent said, "but i'll accompany Cid"
"I don't CARE about the Helmet! I have to find my door!" Rufus declared, running out of the room.
"Remember to tell it you love it!" Cait Sith yelled after him.
They split up to look for the picket. Cloud, Tifa, and Aerith took the exit to the right, and Cid, Cait Sith, and Vincent took the exit on the left. Leaving KOH to his own devices. All of a sudden, the first step KOH took, the words "You've entered a monster's den!" appears in front of him, and monsters rained down on KOH.
"This is just great," KEWNE said.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
"What's this thing for?" Inoba said, scratching his head.
"I call it the portal encarcerator. It will allow us to find the way Cloud got to this world," the robed man replied.
"Wow...that means Clowd will be in my hands sooner than I thought!" Inoba said, laughing.
"Yes, you could say that," the robed man said, flipping a switch on the odd looking machine in front of him, and it began to glow brightly. Soon, a large light shot out of it, and the stone producing that light fell out of the chute. The robed man picked the stone up, and looked at the light emanating from it.
"We follow this light and we will have our ticket to Cloud's world!" the robed man declared.
"Uh...wasn't that from Phantasy Star 4?" Inoba asked.
"Same technology, but not the same target, come on!" the robed man said, following the light.
Inoba scratched his head, shrugged, and followed the robed man.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Aerith looked down the path, the picket was coming...
"Ok, now here's my chance to show Cloud what i'm made of!" Aerith declared, "now, to pull this rope!"
She quickly pulled the rope, which turned the gear, which booted a Killer onto a small button, which caused a cage to begin falling. She looked out there, the picket was still speeding up to her, he had no idea the cage was coming. She smirked. She then head a loud thunk, and saw a picket INSIDE a cage speeding past her.
"Uh...," she said, trying to pick up her jaw off the ground.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
"Quick! The picket's coming!" Tifa told Cloud, "get your Dazers ready!"
She turned to Cloud, he was dressed in a weird green suit, which she THOUGHT looked like a picket. He was holding a small blowgun, which had Dazers in it.
"What are you waiting for?!" she said, "he's coming!"
"Something is coming with him," Cloud said, pointing at the oncoming picket.
Tifa turned back to look at the picket. It had a CAGE around it, and it was dragging the cage along as if it wasn't there.
"Yes, that would make it a little difficult," Tifa said.
Soon, the picket slammed into her and Cloud, and they were along for the ride.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
"What the $@#%$$%?!" Cid cursed upon sight of Cloud (in that weird green suit) and Tifa on a cage, WITH a picket in it, speeding towards them.
"Now THERE'S something that doesen't happen everyday," Cait Sith said.
"....now how'd THIS happen?" Vincent said, looking directly at it.
"GET THE #$%@ trap ready you $@$#^%^%$$#$#!" Cid ordered.
Everyone ran to the switches on the three corners of the room.
"On my three, I want you #@%$%^$ to throw those switches! One, two..."
"THREE!" Cait Sith yelled, throwing his switch, everyone else on impulse threw theirs too. A metal door shut where the picket was coming, and they heard several crashing noises.
"DAMN YOU CAIT SITH!" Cid yelled, "I'm the one giving the #*#$*@$* orders, you $##@$%#%!"
"It worked, didn't it?!" Cait Sith countered.
"Open the #@%$#%^ door!" Cid yelled, and everyone threw the switches. The door opened, and sure enough, there was a metal mass with Cloud, Tifa, and a picket tangled into it.
"There's our prize, we did it!" Cid said, "yahoo!"
"I need this," Tifa said, "this is good for my blood pressure, and healthy excercise too, yes..."
"I'll get you out," Vincent said, pulling Tifa out of the mess. He then proceeded to pull Cloud out, who was unconscious.
The picket sputtered a couple of times, but then it let out a burp and the helmet fell out of it's mouth.
"It's the helmet!" Aerith said, picking it up, and then seeing all the gooey stickiness on it, "ew..."
Cid lit a cigarette and puffed on it, "now that we got the $##%$# helmet, let's find that mute-kid and ask him how to get out of here!"
When they got back to KOH, he and KEWNE were still hard at work fighting off the monsters in the den. Killers, Tyrants, Maximums, you name it, it was there. Cid helped out some (with his superior strength and such, at least that's how it was in his eyes) and eventually they cleared out the den.
"I don't think we can go on," KEWNE said, "We need a wind crystal."
"You said this tower has 40 floors right? Don't you think you could at least reach 40?" Tifa asked. KEWNE shrugged, and KOH nodded.
"Uhn," Cloud said, returning consciousness, "look at me...i'm a picket."
"Cloud! Are you all right?" Tifa asked, walking over to him.
"I'm fine," Cloud said, standing up.
So they began to look for the elevator to the 40th floor, with KOH and KEWNE in tow. Eventually, they did find it, but they ran into four monster dens on the way. After going up the elevator, they appeared on the 40th floor, and walked toward the center. A person with long blue hair stood there, and turned around...
"Selphi?" KEWNE said.
"Oh, hi KOH," Selphi said, "I'm sure you got a kick out of beating up my dad!"
KOH shook his head, while KEWNE spoke, "Sephi, KOH had his reasons to put your dad six feet under, first off he was an evil man..."
"I will destroy you KOH!! I thought you were better than that!" Selphi said, but then a pulunpa flew into her, knocking the air out of her and sending her into one of the voids.
"That was a meaningful battle," Cait Sith said.
"Just about the same way Beldo died," KEWNE said, "only a little more humiliating, and Selphi didn't die. Use a Wind Crystal KOH."
KOH held up a wind crystal, and all of a sudden, the world blurred around the group, and they appeared in KOH's house.
"Wow, that was cool!" Cait Sith said.
Soon, Rufus appeared also, hugging his door.
"Dangnabber!" Cait Sith said, "I thought we left him behind!"
"Et em!" Rufus said, stepping away from the door, "now that I have my door back and we have the helmet, let's concentrate on getting home."
"Good idea," Tifa said, "KOH, do you have a phone?"
KOH pointed at the weird metal teapot with a ball-like creature rolling on it, Tifa shrugged and went to it.
"What are you doing?" Rufus asked.
"I'm going to call Barret," Tifa replied, picking up the phone.
"Tifa. Do you think you can just CALL ANOTHER DIMENSION?!" Rufus said with disbelief.
"Yes, i've done it once," Tifa said, dialing.
"Okay...this is really gettin' #$$^%%^% up now," Cid said, puffing on his cigarette.
"Hello, operator? Yes, i'd like the phone number to the FF7 World's Costa Del Sol. What address? 513 57th street. Ok, let me get that down, 123-4567. Got it, thank you," Tifa said, cheerily. She hung up the phone and picked it back up, starting to dial.
"I can't believe you're actually doing this," Rufus said.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
"MARLENE!" Barret yelled down the hall in Cloud's villa, "KEEP IT DOWN IN THERE, DADDY'S TRYING TO GET SOME SLEEP!"
Marlene poked her head out of the guest room, "Ok, daddy, sorry."
"Having fun?" RedXIII asked as he walked by.
"Kids...ouy....I feel like eating a hamburger or something, where the hell is everyone, they shoulda been back by now!" Barret said, sitting down.
"I don't know, they could be caught up in another dimension," RedXIII joked.
"Ah, shut up," Barret said, "anotha dimension, what the hell is that?"
The phone suddenly rang. Barret ran over to the phone and picked it up, "residence of Cloud Strife, what's up?"
"Hi Barret!" came Tifa's voice.
"Tifa, where da hell are you?! I've been waiting here for hours!" Barret said, angrily.
"We're caught up in another dimension," Tifa replied.
Barret looked at RedXIII, who was beaming a smile, "eh, shut up," Barret said, then turning back to the phone.
"How da hell did ya call here?!" Barret replied.
"I asked the operator for Cloud's number, silly," Tifa said, "Barret, if were going to get back, we need your help."
"Ok, how?!" Barret said.
"Go to Midgar, and activate the Deva System, hurry Barret!" Tifa said.
"All right, i'm on it," Barret said, hanging up the phone, "Red, I guess we're going to Midgar."
"Why?" RedXIII asked.
"BECAUSE!" Barret said, "now come on!"
* * * * * * * * * * * *
"I still can't believe you did that," Rufus said.
"Now all we have to do is wait while Barret get's to Midgar," Tifa said.
"#$#$$% this will take forever!" Cid whined.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
"Where is president Rufus?" Reno wondered, looking around the office.
"His favorite door is missing, and I know he would never let it LEAVE this building, which means...," Elena wondered.
"Let's try the Deva System area," Reno said, heading down the stairs.
"Alright," Elena said, following.
As they stepped down the staircase, suddenly Rude appeared out of nowhere, and looked around.
"Ah, Rude, finally!" Reno said, "we were waiting for you."
"I woke up late this morning," Rude said.
They continued, now with Rude, down into the Deva System area. Reno saw it was activated and running, even though the helmet wasn't actually there.
"Well, this is strange," Reno said, looking around.
"I wonder what happens if I flip this," she said, flipping the location switch, "nothing."
.