The Great Revenge Part 2: The Cloud Wars Chapter 3

A Squoud is a Cloud Tat is Squall!

By Limited Moon

Tifa blinked, and when she opened her eyes, she and everyone else was somewhere different. They were in the middle of a park in the midst of a large city. She looked around.

"Where the !@#@$#$% are we?!" Cid said in disbelief.

"It's a city," Cloud said, stating the obvious.

"Well, that's great, that narrows it down to about 5 billion other guesses instead of 5 billion and one," Cait Sith replied.

"Somebody must have touched the location switch, we could be ANYWHERE!" Rufus said.

"Well, the first thing we have to do is find out where we are, right?" Vincent said, "every city has it's residents."

"Yeah!" Aerith said, "let's look for someone and ask where we are!"

"This reminds me of a certain TV show I watched some time ago," Cait Sith said.

"Mommy!" came a kids voice, "look, there's the weird people who appeared out of nowhere."

"Great, someone saw us," Rufus said, "I wonder if all that commotion that happened with the LAMP INCIDENT CAIT SITH will happen again."

"Hey! I didn't realize that wishing for all the money in the universe would cause THAT much chaos," Cait Sith replied, backing away.

"Come on, everyone, might as well explore while we're here," Tifa said.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

The robed man and Inoba had followed the light all day, until they finally came to a small dead end in a cave off of Tokyo.

"AHA!" came the voice of the robed man, "right here."

"It's a dead end," Inoba said, "yuh sure this is where Clowd went?"

"AM I SURE?!" the robed man said, "take a good look at where the light ends!"

"How do we follow him?" Inoba asked.

"Simple, we must open the gateway, and I have magic that can do so," the robed man said.

"Magic? Like what, pulling rabbit's outta yer hat? Haw haw!" Inoba bellowed.

"Shut up, watch me, and believe," the robed man said, raising his arms.

Lightning crackled and spurred from the robed man's arms, and created a portal where the light ended.

"So there IS a portal here," the robed man said.

"If we jump through this portal, we'll get Clowd, right?" Inoba asked.

"When we find him, yes," the robed man said.

Then the portal suddenly disappeared with a large poof, the robed man scratched his head.

"Guess my magic is too weak to keep the portal open, on to plan B," he said, shrugging.

"Plan B? We have a Plan B?" Inoba said, scratching his head.

"Let's build a machine to make a portal for us!" the man said, summoning a lot of metal parts.

"Uh...ok," Inoba said.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

Reno, Rude and Elena were still searching the Deva System room, testing switches, and all sorts of things to see if something happened to Rufus, but nothing turned up so far.

"Elena, have you tried that switch yet?" Reno asked, walking over to the location switch.

"Yeah, it doesen't do anything," Elena said, "say...what does this do?"

Elena flipped another switch, and a portal opened.

"BINGO!" Elena said, "....hey, something's coming out of that portal!"

Sure enough, a man emerged from it. He looked exactly like Cloud, only with brown hair, a scar on his right cheek, and his attire was an alaskan-like shirt, jacket and pants. He held a gigantic sword mixed with a gun. He looked around.

"Hey, it's Cloud!" Reno said, " it?"

The man looked at Reno, then held the sword/gun in a ready position.

"I'm Squoud," the man said, "where is Cloud?"

"Ah...yeah, mmm hmm," Elena said, "yep, this ranks high on the f'ed up scale."

"We don't know," Reno said, shrugging.

".....I must kill Cloud," Squoud said, "I will search your world from top to bottom until I find him."

Squoud quickly walked out of the room, further ignoring Reno, Rude and Elena. Upon his leave, they shrugged.

"Seeing that makes me want some booze," Rude said.

"I'm thristy too, I could really go for a milkshake," Elena added.

"We'll tell Rufus we couldn't find anything, let's go," Reno said.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

Barret quickly ran down the stairs toward the Deva System, along with RedXIII, and Marlene. He was getting quite exhausted, too.

"Runnin' down stairs AINT my thang," Barret panted.

"Oh, you are just a pansy," RedXIII replied.

"Daddy, i'm hungry," Marlene nagged.

"We'll we friends...Marlene," Barret panted.

Just then, Barret spotted someone coming their way, he stopped and looked down the stairs. Soon, a man looking almost exactly like Cloud came walking up.

"Hey, Cloud, I thought youse was in another dimension," Barret said, sighing with relief.

Squoud stopped, he did the Spock eyebrows, "That's where he is, another dimension..."

"Wha?" Barret said, "first you make me run down a bunch a stairs in an attempt to save yo' spikey ass and now you confusin' me?" Barret said.

"I must find Cloud," Squoud said, pushing past Barret and RedXIII.

"Barret, I highly doubt that was Cloud," RedXIII said.

"Uh, so we continue goin' down the stairs?" Barret asked.

RedXIII nodded.

"Damnit," Barret said, "I wish stairs didn't exist."

* * * * * * * * * * * *

Cloud's group wandered the city, which they found out to be called 'Dollet', exploring until Barret could get to the Deva System. Soon, however, an alarm sounded, and an intercom came blaring over the city.

"Every resident return to your houses, every resident return to your houses! Garden is attacking the city, I repeat, everyone return to your houses, Garden is attacking the city," the voice blared.

"We could fight the Garden if we had a hoe," Cait Sith said with a smirk.

"My god, wont you just shut up!" Rufus said.

"What is 'Garden'? Is it bad?" Tifa asked.

Cloud simply shrugged, Cid threw his cigarette to the ground.

"We'll be in the middle of it soon if we don't get inside somewhere," Vincent said solemnly.

"Vincent's right," Tifa said, "let's find somewhere to sit back until Barret get's us home.

"I know, let's go to the beach!" Aerith said, "noone ever goes to the beach during an invasion!"

"The beach?!" Rufus said, "and what do we accomplish by going to the beach?"

"We have a place to hide, nobody will be there, and we can fish for food," Aerith said.

"Yeah, and we can see how good your door looks in a bathing suit!" Cait Sith said enthusiastically.

Rufus muttered something about Cait Sith, then turned to Aerith, "fine, to the beach."

* * * * * * * * * * * *

KOH's mother finally returned to his house later that day. She was out getting the latest telephone bill. KOH laid on his bed, reading a comic book silently. Then, KOH's mother, Wreath, came in the house.

"KOH!" came KOH's mother, "I need to speak to you for a second."

KOH ran over to his mother. KEWNE, being curious, followed him.

"KOH, I just got our telephone bill, and...uh...have you made any long distance calls?"

KOH shook his head in reply.

"Well, you must have, or our telephone bill wouldn't be well over 1 million coins," Wreath said, "you are paying for it, KOH."

"It's not much trouble, KOH," KEWNE said, "let's head to the casino, and use the slots trick."

* * * * * * * * * * * *

Aerith sat down on the sand and watched the waves. Nothing could be more perfect. It was so peaceful, and if TIFA wasn't here...

"Hi Aerith!" Tifa said, sitting down beside her and making a large smile.

Aerith did not respond, she didn't want to waste any time on Tifa.

"Jealousy, right?" Tifa said again, her smile getting bigger.

Aerith's expression changed, Tifa scratched her head in wonder, "what's THAT face for?" she asked.

"It's a...ground assault...," Aerith said, "we'd better get out of here!"

Tifa looked out on the sea, sure enough there were boats charging onto shore. She got up quickly and ran to tell the others. Aerith quickly got up also, and followed her.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

"CLOUD!" Cloud heard from the sandy area.

"What does SHE want?" Rufus asked, looking out at Aerith and Tifa running up to them.

"To give you a make-over," Cait Sith said.

"MY GOD WONT YOU JUST SHUT UP?!" Rufus bursted.

"Hey, Cloud," Cid said, "look out at the sea, do you see a LOT of #%$$^%% boats?!"

"Cloud!" Aerith said as they reached the deck, "It's not an air assault like I figured it would be, it's a ground assault, and unless we get out of here, we'll be right in the middle of it!"

"A GROUND ASSAULT?!" Cid said, getting up, "that means them %#$%$%^ boats out there are..."

"Military units," Rufus said, "we'd better get the hell out of here."

"Then let's get the hell out of here!" Cait Sith said, taking out a small colorful bag.

"What the $##$%&%& is that?!" Cid asked.

"It's my new, and improved magic bag of, temporarily, Neko let me borrow it a while back," Cait Sith said.

"Cait Sith, you didn't steal it did you?" Tifa asked.

"Of course I stole it! Er...wait, you didn't hear that," Cait Sith responded.

"I don't care if you stole it or not you #$@#%$! Get whatever you're gettin'!! They're coming closer and closer as we take our merry #%#$%$% time!" Cid yelled frantically.

"Ok ok!" Cait said, opening the bag and searching it. He pulled a surprising amount of things out of it, such as a miniature Statue of Liberty, a Websters Dictionary, all of his band's instruments, and even a full set of FF7 Action figures before finally pulling out what he needed....a 7 seated bike copter, complete with 7 pedals and a rotor on top to match, "AH! Here we are," Cait Sith said, putting down the bike and putting all the other stuff back in the bag. He then put it over his shoulder like it was weightless.

"What the hell is that?!" Rufus said, looking at it.

"It's a bike with a %$%#^% rotor on top of it!" Cid said, "how the #%@#%$^ will it help us?"

"We pedal," Vincent said.

"All aboard!" Cait Sith yelled, getting on the front end of the bike copter.

"This is nuts," Rufus said, strapping the door to his back and getting on the next seat.

Cloud got on the seat after that, then Cid, Vincent, Aerith, and Tifa.

"Ok, now what?!" Rufus said.

"Pedal, what else?!" Cait Sith said, starting to pedal.

"Cloud, why the hell have you not been talking?!" Cid said.

"I have nothing to say," Cloud replied in monotone.

"#$%#^%$ figures."

The bike copter rose into the air, slowly, but it was better than being caught in the attack below. Soon, they were high above the city, and having trouble staying up there.

"I'm getting tired, we'll have to land soon," Rufus said, panting.

"Well, to do this we simply...," Cait Sith said, looking down, he spotted a small open area where the soldiers were leaving, " in that square down there, with the fountain!"

"I wonder where the hell Barret is," Cid said, panting.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

Barret looked around at all the complex controls of the Deva system, he scratched his head in confusion being not only dumb but a newbie to computers.

"Red, what the hell do I do?!" Barret asked, looking at his red lion-like companion.

"I'm thinking, I might just know how this system works, if given a chance to experiment," RedXIII replied, turning toward Barret.

"What the hell, experiment away!" Barret said, stepping aside.

RedXIII lifted himself up onto the key interface, "well, we'll start with THIS switch," he said, flipping a small green switch.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

"I can't pedal much longer, Cait," Aerith said, "quickly lower the thing!"

"I'm trying...wha?!" Cait Sith said, looking down, all of a sudden the soldiers that were down there just disappeared into thin air, "that's weird..."

Then, all of a sudden, the bike copter seemed to lose control and start falling. Everyone in there, except Cloud and the door, screamed.

The bike copter crashed, group and all, into the large fountain. Luckily the water was enough to break their fall. Cait Sith climbed out of the fountain slowly and shook himself dry.

"How'd that happen?" he said, scratching his head.

Rufus climbed out next, holding his precious door, miraculously nothing happened to it, "that is THE last time I get onto a bicycle with you, Cait Sith!"

"It wasn't my fault," Cait Sith said, "I don't see what happened."

Everyone else climbed out of the fountain accordingly, and they stood by the fountain drying off.

"This is awfully quiet for a town that's under attack," Aerith said.

"You noticed...," Cid muttered, trying to light a wet cigarette.

"Well, there's an upside to this," Tifa said, in fake cheerfulness.

"What?" Cloud said blankly.

"This fountain is clean," Tifa replied.

Suddenly, four people came running through the fountain area. One was wearing a white-dull peach trenchcoat, and the rest wore bluish uniforms. One with spikey hair quickly turned to the group.

"I'd run if I were you!" he yelled, fleeing again.

"Run from what?" Tifa asked, confused.

Cid, who was over by where they came from, dropped his cigarette and pointed down the corridor, "#@$#$%%^! That is what we $$$#%^ run from!" he yelled, fleeing.

"What do they mean?!" Tifa said, confused.

They turned their heads toward where Cid was, and after two minutes of silence, a HUGE mecha-spider came crashing through the small alley. Cloud and co. jumped up from their seats on the fountain, and ran like hell, hoping to outrun it.

"I think we should listen next time someone tells us to run!" Aerith screamed.

"I HATE SPIDERS!" Tifa exclaimed.

They ran as fast as they could, the mecha spider crashed through behind them. Rufus ran as fast as one with a large wooden door could run, and soon they ended up back in the beach.

From a small sub out by the shore, the people who were running from the spider before noticed that Cloud and co. were not faring well against it.

"Zell," one with brownish hair and a scar on his right cheek said, "stay here, i'm going to help those people."

"Ok, Squall," the spikey haired one said, "we'll hold out as long as possible, but hurry it up."

The one called Squall jumped out of the sub and ran towards the spider, he took out his Gun-blade and started frantically slashing it to ribbons, Cloud's group slowed down and turned to watch Squall fight it. "He wont hold out for long," Rufus said, "we need to take this time to get out of here!"

"HEY!" came a voice from the sub. They all turned to look at the sub, and there was a spikey haired man calling out, "come on, quickly!"

They ran into the sub, and Squall, seeing them safe, fled from the stunned spider and into the sub. The door closed and the sub took off.


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