The Day the Epoch Ran Out of Gas Part 5

By The Storyteller

Hours seemed to pass as Magus, Glenn, and Crono sat in their kitchen. They could see flashes of light from under the door, as Marle furiously summoned several different healing spells of varying strength. Glenn, in boredom and worry, tried to curb his own worries by discovering the new Media Crystal and setting it up, moving between the channels, searching for any type of humorous content, but even through the funniest shows, he couldn't laugh. Suddenly, Marle opened the door.

"How is she?" Magus jumped to ask. Marle's face was somber, and her shining wet cheeks from both tears and sweat were in plain sight. She stuttered as she tried to hold back her cries.
"She's alive, but catatonic... I can't revive her, at least not now."

Crono's hopeful face returned to sadness as his head dropped back into his arms.

"I guess you guys better say your last words to her..."
"Wait... I might know something, I'm sure I have a revival spell somewhere..." said Magus, standing.
"You can try it."
"I can't be interrupted though, you'll have to stay away from the door..."
"No problem."

Magus approached the doorway, and gave Crono, Marle, and Glenn one last hopeful look as he shut the door behind him.

He pulled up a stool and sat on it, beside Lucca's body.

"Lucca?" he asked, as he looked at her blank face. "Lucca... this is so hard to understand... of all people, we would figure that you would be smart enough to at least check what you were drinking..."

He brushed his fingers across her cheek, and removed her glasses, placing them to a table on the side. He removed her boots and pulled down the covers from under her, replacing them on top of her body and tucking them under her sides.

"I know you can hear me... I know you can wake up..."

He brushed the hair from her forehead and felt it, as if trying to check for a fever.

"I know you can wake up at any time, right? So why don't you? Why won't you come back to us?"

There was no reply. Magus removed his hand from her face.

"Is it because of me? Is it because you still hate me? Is it because I kissed you?"

He wiped a small tear from his eye.

"I didn't like to hear you scream, Lucca... honestly, it was the only thing I could think of to make you stay quiet on the way back here... but even now I can think of a hundred different ways I could have kept you from yelling..." he said, laughing slightly. "I guess I had something in me that wanted to kiss you... and there's something in me that wants me to kiss you now..."

He placed a finger on her lips.

"The truth is... I liked doing it... your lips were soft and warm, and it was a feeling that I hadn't ever had before. It was just beautiful... and if you really want me to be honest with you, I kind of got a warm fuzzy... you know, the feeling you get when something makes you so happy it just goes through you..."

He moved his hands across his cheeks, wiping away the small tears falling from his eyes.

"You make me happy, Lucca... its a real happiness I've never had before... not even back home, with my sister... its deeper... and it won't go away... I know you hate me, you made that clear back when you embarrassed me in front of the entire mystic world... but even then that feeling wouldn't go away from me... I thought I could drown it away, you know, just forget about you, but I can't..."

He took her hand in his own and held it, feeling the soft texture of her skin and the beauty of it even though it was partially covered with dirt and grease from working on the Epoch.

"I think I'm falling in love with you, Lucca... and it hurts… it hurts a lot... it hurts me enough that I can't have you, so why do you have to punish me by pulling this stunt? Please come back to us, Lucca... we miss you..."

He stood and planted a slight kiss on her forehead.

"...I miss you..."

He turned toward the door, and noticed a face peering inside at him. He immediately started wiping his cheeks, trying to remove any remnant of his emotion.

"It was that spell I tried... it put a lot of pressure on the face..."

Marle emerged from the door, and walked to him, planting her arms around his waist.

"It's okay, Magus... I heard everything... I was actually hoping I could learn something, but instead I heard... probably the most beautiful thing you have ever said."
"Please... don't tell anyone..."
"I won't. I promise. But I'm telling you right now, Magus... she's coming back, and I will make sure of it... and when she does make it back to us, she'd be a fool not to realize just how good she'd have it with you."
"...Thanks, Marle..."
"I speak only the truth..."

She let go of Magus, and rubbed a friendly hand down the side of his arm.

"Magus... just tell the guys that you had allergies. It works every time. Now go... I have to try something..."

Magus smirked, and left the room.

* * *

"How is she?"
"She's still out of it..."

Glenn sighed, and laid a hand on Crono's shoulder. Crono, surprised, stood immediately and wiped his eyes, sniffled, and walked into the room. Glenn started switching channels on the Media Crystal, still searching for something of worth to watch.

"Oh... Magus, there's this other switch on the crystal... I was afraid to try it..."
"Go ahead, I don't care..."

Glenn switched the Media Crystal over to the new letter, P.

"Why don't I look under YOUR hood!"
"Would you like to se my BIIG BEEEEAUTIFUL headlights?"
"I'd like to sink my DIPSTICK into THAT!"

Glenn immediately shut off the crystal.

"Odd film..."

Glenn turned off the floating mechanism and rested the crystal on the table. Sighing, he took a look around the room. He saw Crono walking back toward the kitchen, tears in his eyes, as Marle forced him out. He looked at the floor, which was covered with scraps of broken material from all sorts of different things. And then he saw Magus, his face unmoving as it rested in his hands, his eyes blank and red.

"Hey, Magus, what's with your eyes?"
"Oh.. uhhhh..." he said, with Glenn barely able to make out a slight wavering in his voice. "Allergies..."
"Oh... okay..."

A sudden coughing came from one of the other rooms. The sounds of vomiting could be heard, as liquids fell to the floor and splashed against the marble tile underneath. Magus's head jumped in the air, listening to where the sound was coming from. Was it Lucca coming to life?

"Oh! That tasted nasty!"

Spekkio stumbled out of the room, his bulky Nu figure bouncing off the walls like a rubber ball. His front was covered with a brown film.

"Jesus, Spekkio... I have a shower..." Magus said, cringing at the sight of Spekkio.
"Formaldehyde! Where is she? Where is Marle? Why did she make me drink that?"
"Damn it Spekkio, keep your mouth shut!"
"Marle's trying to revive Lucca... she drank the poison."
"What? Purge it!"
"What do you mean, purge it?"
"Purge it from her! Get it out of her system!"

Magus jumped out of his seat and rushed into the room to tell Marle, only to see Marle holding back Lucca's hair as she threw up on the ground.

"Syrup of ipecac... it said on the bottle to use it if someone swallowed poison..."
"Where'd you find it?"
"In the upper cabinets, near some bottles of pills and junk. Some Advil junk, Midol, and something called a Viagra..."

Magus looked down at Lucca as she finished spewing the contents of her stomach on the ground. His nose twitched, trying to ward away the fumes of the disgusting fluid. He looked at Lucca, coughing loudly, gasping for air, and smiled. His heart told him to run to her, to help her, but his conscience told him to ignore it, to act calm and just watch Lucca regaining her consciousness. He called out to Glenn, Crono, and Spekkio, who was still recovering himself from the poison.

"She's baaaack!"

Crono could be heard running toward the room, stopping just behind Magus, as he smiled brightly at the sight of Lucca hurling onto the floor. Glenn followed suit, but Spekkio remained in the kitchen, still recovering from the spasms of his vomiting.

"Come on, Lucca, let it out..." said Marle, reassuringly. "That junk looks so nasty..."

Lucca's wretches and coughs calmed, and her breathing slowed as she recovered. Magus watched her intently... even in her worst, she was still somewhat elegant and certainly still beautiful, even if she was spewing her guts onto his floor. He listened carefully as well, at her breaths, her constant heaves... he heard heaving though, even after Lucca stopped to look up at the entire gang that surrounded her. The heaves were loud and fierce, and they certainly weren’t coming from Lucca at all. Magus, confused, followed the sound, walking around the room, carefully avoiding the brown pool that was on the floor. He made his way over to the closet doors, and everybody, including Lucca went silent... as well as the heaving. Curious, Magus carefully opened the closet door, revealing a young girl, huddled on the ground, holding her breath.

"And who, might I ask, are you?"

The girl carefully opened her eyes and looked upward, at Magus. Immediately, she unsheathed her sword and lunged at him, but he was able to grab her arm. Instinctively, he started punching her, and he threw her over the bed. The girl, unscathed, regained her footing and kept her sword up, in her hand.

"You deserved it... all of you deserved it!"

Scared to hell, the girl turned and ran right into Crono, who was standing in the doorway. She bounced backward onto the floor, but quickly stood, holding her blade to Crono's throat.

"Move or I'll kill you."

Crono smiled, and drew his Rainbow from his side at incredible speed. He held it at the girl's throat and watched as she slowly stepped backward, and Crono, intimidating her, smiled some and followed, ever so slowly. The girl laughed nervously as she retreated. Sheathing her sword, she flared her nostrils and shook out her hair.

"Fine. Defeated. Right? NOT!" She yelled as she threw her hands in the air, twisting and turning them around until a blue light formed, and immediately she threw it at Crono. It surrounded his midsection and sent him groaning as he held his stomach and hunched over. Magus reacted by casting his own spell. A barrage of black orbs surrounded him as his arms moved. He then pointed at the girl, and a black ball of darkness exploded onto her, and she fell to the ground, gasping, wounded.

"Who are you?" asked Lucca, still hunched over on the ground.
"She's from the castle... she's the one who was sent to ruin the concert!" blamed Magus.
“She turned me into a newt!” yelled Glenn.
"She's the one who almost killed you, wasn't she..." said Marle, as she let go of Lucca's hair. Something suddenly occurred to her. "What's this about the castle?"
"Umm, Marle, why don't you let me tell you about that later, okay?" said Magus, laughing somewhat.
"Hmm. She looks like the queen." said the girl, as she stood.

Magus didn't hesitate to give the girl what was due. He took her by the collar and lifted her, holding her high in the air as her legs dangled helplessly.

"So it WAS you. You ruined the equipment. You ruined the robot. You damaged the Epoch. You broke the car. You turned Glenn and Crono into animals. You sliced my... my... red... and then you damn near killed Lucca..."
"If it makes you feel any better, you beast, I didn't mean to try and kill her!"
"WELL YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE POISONED THE TEA! I'd have a good mind to spank your little pre teenage rear until it bleeds!"
"Now now, Magus, no need for domestic violence here..." said Marle.
"Oh, I'd only expect it out of him, Miss Leene Jr. He wouldn't know how to be a father."
"Father?" asked Glenn, confused.
"What are you talking about, father? I don't have any kids!"
"Well, you had my mother and then she had me. That is the way it works, doesn't it..."
"You lie."
"Would I lie?"
"Of course you would. You're a scheming brat!"
"And you need a haircut!" yelled Glenn. Everybody gave him a strange look.
"You know, you do... That green mess you call hair ought to be trimmed..." said Magus. "Crono... duck!"

Magus threw his arm into the air, and managed a simple "come hither" motion with his fingers. His scythe made it way out of its closet hiding place and came flying toward Magus's hand. As he grabbed it, the girl managed out of her cape and jumped toward the far wall. Standing tall, she lifted her arms and prepared a magic gesture, which was interrupted by Lucca, who was giggling.

"What? What's so funny, dead girl?"
"Umm... you're standing in my throw up..."

Magus started laughing also, along with Crono and Glenn, and eventually Marle, who got used to the disgusting look of the vomit. The girl glanced downward at her boots, and noticed the liquid on it. Knowing she would be unable to shake it, she looked back upward at Magus, who was hysterical. He threw the girl's short cape into the slop, as yet another insult. The girl was fuming.

"SPOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!" "What did you say? Did you just scream SPOON at me? You've been watching a bit too much of The Tick..."
"Uhh, Magus... look at your scythe..." said Glenn, as he stopped laughing. Magus gazed at his weapon of choice, which had apparently turned into a giant spoon.
"You're awful." said Magus, referring to the girl's magical skill.

Suddenly, from nowhere, a small black box on the kid's belt started talking.

"Sylvia! Sylvia! Come in Sylvia!"

The girl reached to grab the small box, but Glenn swiped it from her hand.

"I don't think so. Hey Magus, you have a make on what this widget is?"
"Hand it over."

Glenn tossed the box over to Magus, who nabbed it in his free hand.

"Sylvia! Report!"
"TK-421 do you copy?" asked Magus, as he pressed a small black button on the side of the little contraption.
“Sylvia! Don't play games with me! If you don't give me a straight answer, I'll be coming inside!"
"NO! MOM, DON'T!" screamed the girl.
"TK-421! Back to your post!"
"Oh no... quoting Star Wars..."
"You guessed it. If you want your scheming little brat back alive, you had best make yourself known!"
"I'm coming to get you, Sylvia! Sylv--"
"Quit your bitching and show yourself!"

There was no answer from the other side.

"Wow, that's some contraption... hey Lucca, could you build one of those?" asked Marle, laughingly.
"I recognized that voice..." said Magus, as he threw the contraption on the bed.
"Are you going to give me back my Walkie Talkie?"
"No. Now why is it that I remember that voice?"
"Because that's my mother! The woman you screwed twelve years ago!"
"There were a lot of them, kid."
"Yeah... I'd bet I'm not your only kid, either..."
"I don't have any kids. You're not my kid, you’re a whining child who manages to break everything she gets her hands on!”
“What? You miss your precious guitar? Your precious Media Crystal? Your precious toy car?”

Spekkio pushed Crono out of his way and stumbled into the room, carrying the hull of the toy car within his red fingers.

“It’s a stinking car. Who cares?”

Everybody’s eyes looked at Spekkio in confusion.

“You mean the Entity that Lucca mentioned the night we got Robo back?” asked Glenn.
“Yes, that Entity!”
“Why didn’t you tell us, Spekkio?” yelled Marle.
“Because none of you gave me the chance to break the news! The Entity came to give us a message of the coming Apocalypse and you ignored it! And now… now it’s gone… and our very existence will slip from us… the world is about to stop existing, or never exist at all…”
“I broke that damn toy ages ago!”
“You keep your mouth shut, brat!” screamed Magus. “Spekkio, if that stupid car was really the Entity, wouldn’t the world have ended by now?”
“I… I don’t know… the Entity is the source of existence as we know it… it created magic, it created time, it created life… it created me. I’m finished… without the Entity, none of that can continue to exist!”
“Me and the brat just used magic a few minutes ago.”
“I… I don’t understand it…”
“Spekkio, you’ve been swindled…”
“No, no, Zaphod wouldn’t…”
“Zaphod? Who is Zaphod?” asked Marle.
“He was a character from a book, Spekkio. A relatively silly book, a good book, but certainly not a factual book!” said Magus.
“It was a series of books and they were all true! All of them! Don’t you realize that all this stuff you read, all this stuff you watch… it all exists! From other dimensions!”
“Spekkio, that’s why they call it the Inter-Dimensional Media Crystal.” mocked Marle, tired.
“All those dimensions exist! ARRGH! Can we get back to the point here?”
“You lost me, Spekkio.” said Magus.

A banging could be heard loudly from the wooden doors leading into the castle. Magus listened intently as he heard them open and shut, and he heard footsteps follow, and then the voice cried out…

“Oh dear God no… not her… anyone but her!”

The woman searched around the castle and found her way into the room, where everyone was standing around the young green haired girl. The woman pushed past Crono and Spekkio, and saw her daughter, standing, poised and ready to fight… standing in a puddle of spew that invaded the woman’s nose.

“Sylvia! What are you doing standing in that goop!”
“Not you… not you!” said Magus, worriedly.
“Oh what, Janus Lightning? Afraid you’ll never see your favorite fan ever again?”
“Umm, who are you?” asked Glenn.

The woman adjusted a wide pink bandana holding back her red curls from her face. Placing her hands on her hips, she slightly fixed her long, simple brown dress, and adjusted her dark green jacket.

“My name is Janice.” She said, haughtily.
“Hmm… still as nasty as ever, aren’t we, you slimy wh-“
“Don’t say that about my mother!”
“Janus and Janice… that’s awfully odd…” said Marle, placing her finger on her lip thoughtfully.
“Your mother wasn’t the cleanest woman on the planet, kiddo.”
“And neither were you!”
“I’m not a woman.”
“Could’ve fooled me!”
“You keep your mouth shut, brat!”
“Don’t say that about your daughter!” the woman screamed.
“I don’t have a daughter. This kid doesn’t belong to me at all!”
“Yes she does, Janus, yes she does!”
“Please… I wasn’t a stupid teen back in those days…”
“ONE NIGHT! ONE NIGHT you said not to use it, and ONE NIGHT is all it takes!”

Magus looked at her solemnly, digging deep into his memories of those long years ago… before the wars, before he took the name of Magus… back when he was still playing his guitar, the first time, back when Flea still had pectoral muscles and not a C cup… remembering the hundreds of fans, mostly women…

“You were awfully good looking back then, Janus Lightning. What happened?”
“Oh shut up, you ugly old bag. Magus is still hot!”

Marle, realizing she said that out loud, covered her mouth with her hands in surprise. Magus cocked an eyebrow as he looked at her. She giggled.

“Why thank you…” Magus said, laughing slightly.
“Yes, whatever you say… Leene?”
“Not quite queen Leene…”
“Who are you?”
“Why should I tell you? I only talk to people who are worth it.”
“Now are you going to take your little girl or what, Janice?” said Magus, returning to his angry state.
“She’s yours too. And I want you to help take care of her!”
“She’s not my kid. You can’t prove it.”
“Look at her ears! And her hairline! A widow’s peak!”
“She’s right, Magus…” said Glenn, as he examined the girl. “Her ears are stretched outward, and her hair is definitely yours…”

Magus eyed the girl carefully, noticing the small details of her that resembled him… but he ignored them.

“I’ll have none of this.” He said angrily. He pointed at both the woman and the child. “I expect both of you to be gone by the time I return here to help Lucca.”

He stormed out of the room, as the woman called behind him.

“We were supposed to be exclusive, Janus!” Magus spun around and looked her straight in the eye.
“Janice, nobody is exclusive at seventeen. I wasn’t looking for exclusive. And I know you weren’t either. Her father could be one of many, maybe hundreds of men. You’re a slimy little whore and I will not have your dirty self in my household!”
“I’m the slimy one! I’m not the one who had a bunch of different girls in my room every night!”
“At least I swore my habits off soon after I started them… which can’t be said about you!”

Magus turned the corner and stormed into the upstairs.

“Okay, lady, you heard the man. Take the girl and go.” Said Marle, as she helped Lucca up from the ground.
“We’ll be back… my daughter will not be denied a father for much longer! Sylvia, come on!”

The girl hopped past the puddle on the ground and grabbed her cape off of the floor. Following her mother, she left the room, but only after sneering at everybody else left.


Daughter? What? Is this another Steven/Liv Tyler story? Or is Janice just pulling Magus’s crank? And what shall remain of existence as we know it, now that the truth has been revealed, and the broken toy car was really the Entity? Why hasn’t the world ended yet? We shall see.


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