Sorceress and Knight Chapter 4

Accomplishing Nothing

By Tsarmina

High above the land, the Ragnorak flew sluggishly, as if it wasn't exactly sure on its destination. Inside, all that could be heard was a growing argument.

"Lunatic Pandora could be anywhere!" Quistis said, her voice taking on the ever-dreaded "instructor" tone.

"So? Flying around with absolutely no distinct destination in sight can help, rather than sitting bored and lazy in the Garden," Rinoa shot back. She had to argue with everything Quistis said, even if it was a simple comment like "It's raining awfully hard today."

"Better yet… Why didn't we destroy that place after we dealt with Ultimecia?" Quistis pondered, ignoring Rinoa's comment.

"QUIET," Fujin commanded. Their pointless jabbering was beginning to bore her. She wanted someone to kick hard.

"Well, I think—" Irvine began. He was the one piloting Ragnorak (even though he was all that sure how to do it…).

"Quiet and fly the thing!" Quistis snapped.

"You're getting as abusive as Fujin," Irvine muttered to himself. No one heard him, though, which was probably a very good thing as far as he was concerned. They just continued their arguing.

"RAIJIN, WHERE?" Fujin demanded. Her urge to kick something had grown significantly.

Quistis glanced around, frowning some. "Where are Seifer and Squall, for that matter? I haven't seen them since we took off…"

Irvine laughed a little. "Well… You know what the rumors are about those two…"

Rinoa let out a gasp. "You idiot! If you weren't the pilot, I'd hit you!"

"DISGUSTING!" Fujin exclaimed. The only thing that stopped her from kicking Irvine was Quistis.

"I'm all for kicking him, Fujin, but let's wait until we're on the ground. Then you can pummel him to death," Quistis said.

Rinoa rolled her eyes. "Talk about being 'Instuctor-ish' with friends…"

"Well, at least I'm not a sorceress!" Quistis replied.

"I could kill you with just a thought!" Rinoa shot back, wiggling her fingers in Quistis's direction suggestively.

"You don't know a single thing about sorcery! Matron tried to teach you, but you always ignored her!" Quistis said with a frown. "I bet you couldn't even start a little flame on the tip of my nose!"

"Whoa! Cat fight! The winner can have me!" Irvine exclaimed, but was ignored .

"Wanna bet, Miss Goody-Two-Shoes?"

"You're on!"

"Better watch out, Irvine and Fujin!" Rinoa warned. She closed her eyes tight and moved her hands around.

"Nothing's happening…" Quistis said sweetly.

"MAGIC, NONE," Fujin said. She was looking forward to anything painful for Quistis. She enjoyed watching other people hurt.

"C'mon, Rinoa, set something on—Waaahh!!!" Irvine shouted. He slapped at his jacket, which had started to become on fire. A small portion of it came away singed, much to his dismay (and to the dismay of the three girls, since he was the one piloting…And was paying more attention to his jacket than where they were going).

Rinoa's eyes cracked open. "Ooops… Sorry, Irvine…" She closed her eyes again.

Quistis snorted, bored with Rinoa's attempts. She turned around, heading out of the cockpit. "I was right, obviously."

After she left the room, the co-pilot chair flew in the direction of the door. Irvine and Fujin remained absolutely silent.

"She's still jealous!" Rinoa exclaimed.


"So, you're now the King?"

"Yes… I beat the former King with my hands tied behind my back."

"Anyone I know?"

"Yes, but it really doesn't matter anymore. She always whines about how unfair it was that I beat her… Who are you?"

"The Knight!"

"There is no Knight! There's a knight in Chess, but not in a card deck!"

"Umm… Yeah. I guess you're right. Fine! I'm the… Black King!"

"Black King? You're just saying that because you think you sound cool!"

"No, I'm not!"

"Yes, you are!"

"Am not!"

"Are to!"





"N—Oh, who cares? So maybe I am! What does it matter, anyway? At least I have an imagination… You just go by 'King', but 'Black King' sounds sooo much cooler!"

"So… Are we going to do it or what?

"Do what…?"

"I'm not sure… I forgot."

"Forgot?… Oops, so have I."

"…Whatever… So, you want to be the 'Knight'?"


Raijin was bored. There was nothing interesting on the whole ship. He had found someone's discarded comic book, but he had never been interested in Captain SeeD: The Adventures of a SeeD. That was for little kids.

Raijin paused in his walk when he heard two arguing voices. He poked his head into a side hall, seeing Squall and Seifer sitting…together? Squall was leaning up against one wall and Seifer leaned up against the wall across from him.

"What's up, ya know?" Raijin asked.

"But that's a one-of-the-kind card!" Seifer told Squall, ignoring Raijin completely.

"So? You lost!" Squall replied, admiring his new card.

"It took me forever to get that card off of Headmaster Cid!"

"…Whatever," Squall muttered. He didn't want to return it. Couldn't Seifer see that? It was the only card Squall didn't have in his collection.

"B-but!" Seifer complained.

Why won't he stop whining? Just because it's a card with himself on it doesn't mean he has to have it! And, anyway, the only reason he had it was he got it from Cid before I did…probably threatened the guy! I wish he'd just admit defeat and stop whining about it! Squall thought fiercely to himself. When he looked over at Seifer, he saw the other man had his gunblade pulled out.

"H-hey! Seifer! You're gonna kill him? It's just a card, ya know?" Raijin exclaimed.

Squall pulled his own gunblade out. "Fine. If this card means that much to you…"

Quistis suddenly ran between them. "Cut it out, idiots! You can kill each other later! Right now we have to find Lunatic Pandora, Selphie, Zell, the sorceress, and Laguna!" she hissed.

Neither of the two said anything, or put away their weapons for that matter. They merely continued staring at each other.

"Ahhh! No! Don't hurt each other!" Rinoa shrieked, running up next to Quistis. "So this is what you're doing, Quisty! You're trying to get them to kill each other so that you can have what's left over! But I won't let you do it! You bad bad person!"

"What!?" Quistis exclaimed, giving Rinoa a strange look.

"Ohh… Poor Seifer!" Rinoa swooned. She attached herself to his arm.

Seifer attempted to yank himself away from her, but she was worse than a leech. "Get off of me!" he exclaimed.

By this time, Squall had lost all interest in fighting Seifer. He gathered up his cards, ignoring as Seifer attempted to disengage Rinoa from his arm.

As if it couldn't get more chaotic, Fujin ran into the area. "COME QUICK! MESSAGE!"

Squall glanced around the room; Rinoa was still attached to Seifer, Seifer stood there with a blank expression on his face, Quistis glared at Rinoa, and Raijin hummed happily to himself (well, until Fujin suddenly turned around and kicked him). Squall frowned and followed Fujin to the cockpit.


"Listen. She's going to start soon," Irvine said as soon as he heard Squall enter the cockpit. He was leaning over, fiddling with the controls of the communicator.

"…She?" Squall asked.

Irvine nodded. "The Sorceress… I think."

Raijin entered and walked over to Fujin. He was followed by Quistis, Seifer, and lastly Rinoa (who was no longer clinging onto Seifer like a parasite).

"Attention SeeDs! Are you listening?"

"Errr… Yes… Sorceress," Irvine muttered.

"Irv? Super cooool! Are you piloting the Ragnorak?" Selphie's voice giggled over the communicator.

"I thought you said it was the sorceress!" Squall glared at Irvine. He didn't want to hear from the man's girlfriend, he wanted to hear from the sorceress.

"I now… Just listen," Irvine said weakly. "Yeah, Selphie. I am."

"Squall! You're such a bummer! Can't you just use your imagination? Just because it's me doesn't mean I can't be 'The Sorceress'!"

"W-What!?" Rinoa exclaimed.

"You're not the only sorceress now, Rinoa! Hahahaha!! You have competition now!"

"Competition for what?" Rinoa asked, startled.

"World domination…of course!" Selphie giggled.

"Umm… Who said I wanted to rule the world?… Heh heh… You're, uh, imagining things…" Rinoa laughed nervously. No one paid much in the way of attention to her, and for once she was glad.

"What happened to you?" Irvine asked.

"I because a mega cool sorceress! The power of it all is soooo super cool! I can set things on fire with only a thought! And I can fly through the air! I don't even have to flap my arms to fly!" Selphie bragged.

"What about Laguna…and Zell?" Squall asked. He didn't actually care, but he knew the others would get mad and call him "heartless" if he didn't ask. Idiots… Everything I do is cruel, or wrong…

"Oh! Them? They're here with me!"

"Why?" Quistis piped in.

"Sir Laguna is just having some fun… And Zell's my super fun knight!!"

"Chicken-wuss a knight?" Seifer gasped. "That's just plain wrong! I'm a knight! He can't be a knight!"

"Haha! Sucks for you, Lap-Dog!" Zell laughed.

"L-Lap-dog?" Seifer demanded. His ego was taking a serious bashing.

Sounds of a struggle came from the communicator. It sounded very much lie…someone getting beaten. "Shut up, Zell!"

"Where are you, Selphie?" Irvine asked.

"I can't tell you that! You'd ruin our plans if you knew where we are!" Selphie exclaimed.

"Yeah! If you knew we're near Centra Ru—ahhhh!!!!"

"Quiet, Zell!! No more hot dogs until you learn not to be such an idiot!!"

"B-but!!!" Zell protested.

The communicator went dead.

"I'm assuming we're heading for Centra Ruins… Right?" Irvine asked.

"Looks like it," Squall grumbled. It's hard to believe Selphie's a sorceress and Zell's her knight. For once I feel sorry for Laguna… Being stuck with either of those two is horrible…but both of them? I wonder if he has even an ounce of sanity left… Selphie's probably bouncing around shouting "super cool" and Zell's probably just talking, and talking, and talking. He never shuts up. But I wonder what Selphie meant by "no more hot dogs"… I hate to think about how many hot dogs he's shoving into his mouth. Makes me queasy… And he shouldn't be able—

"Hey, Squall!" Rinoa snapped, slapping him on the arm.

Squall blinked a few times. "Uhh… What?"

"We're here!" she replied, frowning. "You've just stood there, with a blank look on your face for a looong time!"

"…Whatever," Squall muttered.

"Let's get going! I don't see Lunatic Pandora… But we should check around for signs that they were here," Quistis said, turning towards the door.

"Stupid instructor… Thinks she's better than the rest of us…" Rinoa muttered to herself.


They searched the area of Centra Ruins. Quistis, Squall, and Irvine in one group; Seifer, Fujin, Raijin, and Rinoa in another (She had insisted on going along with them, much to Seifer's distress. Nobody dared argue with her, though.).

"So… What exactly are we looking for?" Rinoa asked sweetly.

"Things…" Seifer replied, not even glancing in her direction.

"What sort of 'things'?" she asked.

"Stuff they'd be interested in," Seifer said. He was starting to become irritated.

"What are they interested in?" came the inevitable question.

Seifer glared at her, suppressing an urge to pull out his gunblade. "Why would I know? You're the one who hangs out with them! You should be the one to tell me what to look for!" he exploded.

"Meanie," Rinoa pouted.

"LOOK!" Fujin exclaimed.

"Whoa! That's freaky, ya know?" Raijin piped in.

"Ugh! I think I'm going to be sick!" Rinoa complained.

"See? That's the sort of thing we're looking for!" Seifer said, smirking when he noticed Rinoa's distress.


Squall, Quistis, and Irvine weren't having much in the way of luck. Quistis was pouting (again) because Squall had taken on the role of the leader. Squall was off in his own world, not paying much attention to his surroundings (and, consequently, caused numerous encounters with the dreaded Tonberries). Irvine was attempting to hold things together and keep his mind on the job…but he kept thinking about Selphie.

"I shouldn’t have let her go," Squall mumbled, his mind slipping to Rinoa.

"Oh, who cares about Rinoa?" Quistis snapped, automatically knowing what he was talking about.

Squall looked over at her, blinking a few times. What's her problem today? Did she wake up on the wrong side of the bed or what? "…Whatever."

"Not very smooth, Squall," Irvine said with a laugh. He pushed his pony-tail behind his head, shrugging.

"What?" Squall asked. He stopped walking to stare at the other man. He watched as Quistis continued walking, leaving them alone.

"Can't you tell?" Irvine asked.

"Tell what?"

"You're serious… You haven't noticed!"

Squall frowned, putting his hand to his forehead in frustration. Weirdo…

Irvine laughed, walking after Quistis. Soon enough, Squall stood alone. He followed the two around a corner, almost running into them.

"What's going on?" he asked.

"Will you just look at that!" Irvine exclaimed.

Squall looked, surprised at what greeted his eyes…


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