Sorceress and Knight Chapter 8
Our band of, erm, "heroes" found themselves in safety at last. They stood together in the park, panting and wiping sweat off their brows.
"That was disturbing," Seifer growled. "Why do you hang out with a freak like Selphie, anyway?" he demanded of Squall.
"I don't. She just follows me around," Squall replied, shuddering. She always follows people around. It seems whenever I turn around, Selphie is waving at me or saying "Have a super cool day, Squall!" or just there! She's not as bad as Rino
"And what about you, Irvine? How could you date that creature? She's like, the Devil's Mistress, or something! If not that, then the Devil!" Seifer continued.
"I-I don't know!" Irvine replied. "I guess I thought she was cute "
"Cute?!?! With have like that?" Seifer laughed.
"CONVERSATION POINTLSS," Fujin said.
Irvine leaned in closely towards Seifer, eyes darting nervously about. "If it makes you feel better I regret even meeting her!" he whispered fervently. He glanced around, worried that Selphie would be standing near enough to hear his comment.
"Where's Quistis and Rinoa?" Raijin pondered out loud.
"FIGHTING, PROBABLY," Fujin replied with a small shrug.
"Who cares?" Seifer snorted. "At least this way we might actually get somewhere! And, since Rinoa won't be"
"Hey, is that Selphie over there?" Irvine interrupted. He pointed towards a figure in the distance it was Selphie, much to his dismay. She waved excitedly and started walking away from them.
"We have to catch her!" Irvine exclaimed. " Right?" He looked towards Squall for confirmation.
"Yes We go after her," Squall sighed. He sometimes found it hard to believe that people survived as long as they had without him to lead them by the hand Made him shudder to think what they'd amount to without him there to order them about.
Irvine sighed in disappointment. "You sure we can't just claim we tried, give up, find somewhere safe to go, and just ride it out?" he asked.
" No "
"Sure? Because it's not like anyone'd realize it I mean, everyone'll be dead, or something Not like it'll matter that we don't do anything," Irvine persisted.
Squall was incredibly tempted to let Irvine have his way, but he knew somehow, someone would find out and he would be the one to get in trouble not because it was his idea, but because he had let the mindless twit have his way. A hard decision "I thought I said 'no'."
"Yes, you did," Irvine agreed.
"So, that's what I said?" Squall continued.
"I haven't changed my opinion."
"So, does that mean the answer is 'no'?" Irvine asked.
"If I said 'no' before and my answer hasn't changed "
"Umm I can get this. Really!" Irvine exclaimed. "Oh! It's still 'no', isn't it?"
"Wait we can do it?"
" No," Squall muttered.
"Will you two cut it out?!?!" Seifer exploded, his outburst followed by agreements from Fujin and Raijin. During the argument between Squall and Irvine he had remained silent obviously not a healthy thing for him to be doing.
"So We proceed to chase her?" Irvine asked.
"Don't make my pull out my gunblade," Seifer threatened.
"Oh .right," Irvine mumbled.
Squall led the way and they began to chase Selphie through the streets of Delling. Seifer was close behind him, Fujin next, Raijin close to her, and Irvine trailing behind.
Squall stopped rather abruptly, causing Seifer to run into the back of him. Which, in turn, caused Fujin to run into Seifer, then Raijin into Fujin. (author's note: Illustrating why tailgating is so dangerous) Irvine was the only one who didn't land in a heap with the rest. He stood back, staring intently and somewhat fearfully ahead of the pile of people.
"S-Selphie!" he exclaimed.
She was standing only a few feet ahead of them, arms akimbo and tapping a foot irritably. "Can't you do better'n that, bummer SeeDs?" she mocked.
"Guys C'mon, guys, get up! She's right in front of you!" Irvine complained.
"YOU COULD," Fujin growled, pushing Raijin off of her and standing up. She brushed herself off irritably, glaring at Irvine.
"What'd I do?" he protested.
Seifer stood up and grunted in annoyance. "You didn't have to stop so suddenly, Squall," he grumbled.
Squall didn't say anything, let alone do anything. He lay face-first on the ground, in a running position, looking somewhat like a Cactaur. Seifer pushed him with a footno reaction.
"What's his problem, ya know?" Raijin asked, staring at Squall.
Selphie started stomping around. "Pay attention to super me! Stop talking amongst your bummer selves!" she complained.
"Uhh Oh, right Hi, Selphie!" Irvine attempted, waving half-heartedly.
"Oh, shut up," Seifer groaned. "What'd you do to Squall, Selphie? Not that I really care that much But, well "
Selphie pouted. "Is that all you can think of?"
"W-wait! What are you implying???" Seifer demanded.
Selphie giggled and trotted a few steps off, sounding awfully like the steps of a goat "Nyah! Super find out, meanie!" She turned and ran.
Squall suddenly fell into a more natural position, if somewhat uncomfortable. He stood up with a groan, brushing at his clothes with a scowl on is face.
"You okay, man?" Irvine asked curiously.
" Whatever," Squall mumbled in annoyance.
Fujin stared at the two. "SELPHIE!" she said, pointing towards where the girl had run off.
"Oh, right, I knew we were forgetting something!" Irvine exclaimed.
This time Seifer took the lead and everyone followed. Selphie was spotted again soon, climbing down into the sewer, of all places.
"You expect me to go down there?" Seifer said in disgust as he looked down into the darkness.
Fujin, being the only girl present, looked at him in disgust. "YOU GIRL?" she mocked.
"H-Hey! That's rude, ya know!" Raijin protested.
"A GIRL," Fujin insisted, pointing at Seifer. "AFRAID! JUST SEWER," she scoffed.
"Uh Fuj? I wouldn't keep saying that, ya know," Raijin mumbled. He stared at Seifer with a growing uneasiness. Probably thought the other man would explode, again.
Seifer did nothing of the sort, though. Instead of doing something logical, like kicking Raijin, he jumped down the hole after Selphie without a word.
"Wow He didn't kick me, ya know!" Raijin exclaimed. Too late. Fujin kicked him and he fell in after Seifer.
"Ladies first?" Irvine tried, smiling as winningly as he could manage.
"WIMP," Fujin growled, but jumped into the hole after the other two.
"Alright! Now we just have to seal it off and we can get rid of them all!" Irvine exclaimed. He clapped Squall on the back, grinning widely.
Squall arched an eyebrow and stared at Irvine. "No," he said firmly. He propelled Irvine towards the hole, obviously not trusting him to go after. He pushed Irvine in, waited a few seconds, then jumped in after.
Selphie was laughing. Well, cackling, at any rate. Laguna cringed behind the two other girls, hoping his tormenter would forget about him. It seemed to work
"Hah! What super fools! They're chasing after a bummer clone, not the real mega cool me!" she laughed. "It's perfect! While they're bummer chasing my clone, I can super duper take over the planet!"
"Did you just come here to gloat?" Quistis growled.
"Who says I'm a bummer goat!?" Selphie demanded.
"I said gloat, not goat!"
"I could kill you with a zap from my ultra-cool finger! And I should! I'm not a bummer goat, I'm" she stopped and tilted her head. "Sounds like they're down here now. Hmph. I'll have to leave your bummer prison " She disappeared without another word, let alone cackle.
"Good Finally she's gone," Rinoa groaned. "Hey, Laguna, you can get out from behind there now."
"Is she gone? The Devil?" he asked.
"I dont believe you! What if you're under her control and she's making you say that to make me confused and think it's safe to come out so I do and she attacks me!?"
"Great," Quistis muttered. "No use trying to sleep "
"Why'd we jump in There's a ladder over there, ya know?" Raijin complained. Every step he took was accompanied by a squishing sound.
"SEIFER, IDIOT," Fujin snarled.
Irvine grumbled something, his hair matted around his head. His expression never changed as he stared at Squall. "Thanks for pushing me in."
" Whatever," Squall muttered. It's not like he's the only one whose hair is messed up! I'll never get it back the same. Not to mention the stink out of my clothes My jacket will never be free of the smell. And my gunblade I hope it doesn't rust away from the filth!
Seifer was the worst off of the group. Sure, they were all covered in the gooey liquid, but he had somehow managed to hit the bottom when the others flew in after him. He was coated with a greenish ooze that the others didn't have.
"Seifer? It's creepy, ya know! Talk, or something!" Raijin whined.
Seifer ignored him and turned towards Squall. "We should probably get going," he said gruffly.
Squall walked towards the corner, glancing around it. He flinched: there she stood, only inches from his face. " " he attempted.
"Get her!" Seifer exclaimed. He probably wanted a sort of revenge on her
Squall grabbed both of her arms, cringing as he did so. " get some ropes," he said weakly.
Irvine pulled out a length of rope from his coat. "I have some," he said nervously.
Selphie grinned blankly the entire time they tied her up with the rope. She never said anything, which made Squall wonder uneasily if she was up to something. As a finishing touch, he pulled a handkerchief out and gagged her, wondering if it was at all necessary, but doing it anyway.
"So is that all?" Irvine asked.
"There's still Laguna." Squall shrugged.
"RINOA. QUISTIS. ZELL," Fujin pointed out.
"Damn! And I thought I could go home now!" Irvine complained. "Okay, Selphie Where are they?"
Selphie, of course, didn't say anything. There was a gag in her mouth, after all. It was odd to all assembled, though, that she refrained from even attempting to speak. Irvine found himself shuddering. "Hey, you giving us the Silent Treatment?"
"NO GOOD. JUST SEARCH," Fujin snorted.
Seifer started to chuckle. "Yeah. You two have fun finding them We'll just go drown Selphie somewhere and hide the body."
"Wh-what? You can't do that!!!" Irvine protested.
"Why not?" Seifer asked.
"Ummm Tell him, Squall." Irvine poked Squall.
"Go ahead " Squall mumbled. He hadn't heard a single word of the argument, and didn't really care to learn what it had been about.
"Oh, great! Thanks for the permission, Squall," Seifer laughed.
"You can't kill her " Irvine persisted.
"Sure I can. Pretty easy, too "
"Your conscience won't let you, though!"
Blank stares. Irvine shrugged a little, giving up on the whole matter. "Let's wait, though We might be able to get her to lead us in the direction she's keeping them, okay?"
"After we find them we kill her, though," Seifer reminded. "And, anyway, I thought you were ready to dump her."
"Shh! Dont' tell her that!"
"Hey! Shh! I hear some sort of banging and voices!" Rinoa exclaimed.
"Great So you've gone insane as well? What do the voices say, hmm? 'Burn them all'? Or maybe they say 'Jump off a cliff, jump off a cliff'?" Quistis drawled.
"Nooo! One of them is saying 'Maybe they're in here'," Rinoa persisted.
"Uh-huh Let me guess Sounds like Squall, or maybe Seifer," Quistis snorted.
" Irvine " Rinoa crinkled her nose up.
Quistis blinked, leaped to her feet, and started pounding on the door. Rinoa would never fantasize about Irvine. "We're in here!!! Get us out!!!"
Laguna flinched in his corner, mumbling pitifully. "Stop banging My head is ringing. Oh, it's ringing," he moaned.
"Stand away!" a muffled voice shouted. Quistis barely had enough time to jump away before the door was blown off its hinges by a well-place Thundaga spell.
"Ahhhh! It's her!" Laguna shrieked, attempting to hide behind Rinoa.
"Oh, you! She's tied up! What's she going to do like that!?!?" Rinoa snorted.
Laguna shuddered. "You have no idea "
"Hey! We found you!" Irvine exclaimed, waving to them.
"Oh, Squall, you have no idea how horrible it was!" Rinoa wailed, running up and clutching him. She shrieked when she smelled him, pushing him away. "What's on you???"
"Sewage, ya know," Raijin pointed out.
"My dress!" she shrieked.
"YOUR FAULT," Fujin said smugly.
"Come on. Let's get out of here," Quistis snarled, poking Laguna, who had returned to cowering.
"Not so fast, you super bummers!" Selphie exclaimed. But it wasn't the Selphie that was tied up. This Selphie seemed to have materialized out of nowhere, and most likely had.
"ANOTHER CREATURE," Fujin said disgustedly.
"Two??" Seifer demanded.
"That's just a super duper clone! Aren't I a mega cool genius? So smart!" Selphie giggled.
"'Smart' is hardly the word," Squall muttered.
"So you distracted us with this," Seifer drawled, pushing the clone forward, "while you carried out your plan of word domination?"
Selphie stopped giggling. "Stupid bummer uncool!" she complained.
"Get her! We can still stop her plan!" Quistis commanded.
Raijin was the first to lunge towards Selphie, but it did him no good; she simply teleported herself to the other side of the room.
"Bummers! And I was going to tell you my ultra cool plan of world domination!" she whined.
"Let me guess You're going to tell us anyway " Squall groaned.
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